First Time Mamas' Chat **January** - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-07-2011, 09:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Since there is a thread for Mamas who already have LOs, I figured there ought to be a chat thread for those of us expecting our first (whether we've had a previous pregnancy loss or not). A place to share hopes, fears and the other challenges of moving into parenthood. Is DH/DF/DP freaking out or are you single and trying to figure out how to do this? What weird things are you discovering about pregnancy that you hadn't expected? If you previously had a career outside the home, have you decided what to do after baby comes? How is your extended family (or friend group) reacting to the news? 

 

AFM, DH is doing pretty good, although he is really stressed about money and all the stuff we need to do to get ready... I keep reminding him that we will be okay and that we have enough time to figure it all out. As far as unexpected pregnancy symptoms... I had NO IDEA I'd be so freaking bloated! Ugh! I am working now, but I really hope I'll be able to work from home at least half time after maternity leave, because DH is a full time student and I REALLY want him to finish school. I haven't told all of my family yet (we're waiting to hear a heartbeat first), but so far the ones I've told have been really excited for us.

 

How about the rest of you?


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Old 01-07-2011, 09:54 AM
 
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We're doing really well, most of the time. Both me and my fiance have our own businesses and I think that will make it easier in the future - much more flexibility. I also have another job two days a week, but they're wonderful and it should work out just fine.

The family is very excited. My sister wants children, but is with someone who doesn't so she's going to live vicariously through us and the rest of the family never expected to get more/any grandkids. My DF had cancer two years ago and they warned him that he probably wouldn't be fertile - HA! We tried once, got pregnant (and lost it Oct 21, 2010), vaguely tried the first ovulation after the miscarriage (didn't plan that day, it was just a good day for such things) and got pregnant again!

I do massage and he works mostly from home, so I feel like it will be easier to go back to work - it's just for an hour or so and he'll be home. Plus, my office is upstairs in my midwife's office so it's pretty handy and I get all the attention I want!

I hadn't realized the level of exhaustion I'd have. Moodiness, food issues, boobs trying to take over the world, sure. But I'm so tired. It's getting better, but gah. Must do laundry, have no more clean underwear. Don't waaaannnaaaa.

We're not too stressed about money, his business is doing really well. He says he was primary caregiver for his niece when she was new and that babies just "aren't that hard," and I eye him doubtfully. He doesn't like to worry or get excited about anything until it's happening and it's time, where I love to plot and plan and fantasize so that I've tried things on a few times before I get there.

Also, we can't sleep together. I can't sleep if he's breathing loudly or snoring so I have to sleep first and if he then sleeps and I wake up in the night, I cannot get back to sleep. So he's sleeping on the couch on a completely different sleep schedule from me and it annoys me. He stays up until 3 or 5 sometimes and then sleeps away the half of the day that I feel most human.

 

I'll be quiet now. Thank you for the space :D


Becky

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Mama to Charlie - born August 15th.

Waiting on number two, due March 17!

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Old 01-07-2011, 12:20 PM
 
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Mommel - Yay!  Thanks for starting this thread.  I am excited to get to know other first-timers out there.  :)  I was almost going to start it, but then I figured I'd be a DDC hog since I run the Roll Call.  DH was also a full-time student until this past month.  Now he's looking for work.  Kinda.  And also writing his novel.  Oh, and I hear ya on the bloating!  I look 4 months preggo already, especially by the end of the day.

 

Beckily - I am pretty tired to!  And the laying-awake-for-an-hour nightly ritual around 3:00 am doesn't help.  That's sweet that your DF is taking the couch.  Mine also comes to bed sometimes around 3 or 4, and it's really annoying.  But we don't have a couch that will fit him!  :)  Only a loveseat.

 

AFM - Right now I am just amazed at how big I am getting at 10/11 weeks.  It keeps me hopeful though that everything is alright inside!  I have an u/s on Tuesday to follow up on a hematoma I have...so I hope it goes well.


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Old 01-07-2011, 12:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Holy censored.gif !! I could totally have written a lot of that! We lost ours on Oct. 22, 2010. I'm also the planner of the two of us. I really like how you put that "so that I've tried a things on a few times before I get there". And I hear you on the not sleeping together! Right now we have an extra bed in the living room until my friend comes and gets it (explanation as to how we ended up with two is below for your entertainment) and I've been sleeping on that. It's been really nice to have my own bed and I'm thinking that once the living room bed goes, we'll get a twin to put in the nursery (formerly DH's office - poor thing will have to migrate to the living room soon enough) so I can sleep there. I just can't even fathom how on earth I'm going to sleep when I am 8 months along... I've heard it's nature's way of preparing you for motherhood and a part of me is screaming, "Wait!! I need more sleep before I do this! I changed my mind!! Aaaarrrghhh!" Heehee!

 

 

*Story about how we ended up with two beds: so I'd been looking for a queen size bed because the full size we had was way too small. We found one that a friend of a friend wanted to get rid of and picked it up only to bring it home and discover that we already had a queen size bedyikes2.gifAck! Apparently, somewhere along the way I had become convinced that my queen was actually a full size bed. I thought forever on how that could have happened (apparently I don't buy sheets often - LOL) and I finally figured it out. I bought sheets at Ikea and they have European size queen sheets which are slightly larger... not large enough to be the difference between a US queen and a US king, but definitely large enough to be the difference between a US full and a US queen. Sheepish.gif

 

Have I mentioned I have pregnancy brain? dizzy.gif It really is a thing!

 


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Old 01-07-2011, 01:07 PM
 
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Another first time Mama here as well!

 

I knew all about pregnancy symptoms before getting pregnant, but its weird how things are still different than I would have imagined.  I've had a lot of nausea, and my eating habits have completely changed.  Can't eat as much at once as I used to, and I'm not very good at eating little bits all throughout the day.  DH has been good about reminding me to keep eating.  Some things I used to love to eat seem revolting to me now, which makes me sad.  I've been proud that we usually eat pretty good, but it seems like a lot of the good stuff is not appetizing at all to me, so I feel like I'm not eating as well right now :(

 

So far all my throwing up incidents have been at home, but earlier this week I was leaving work and driving home.  I work downtown in our city, and so there was a decent amount of traffic.  I was on the phone with DH and commenting that I had done well that day as far as being nauseous.  Almost suddenly I starting feeling queezy and knew I was gonna lose it.  I was trying to figure out what to do, and luckily I had a box of tissues in the car.  I tried to turn around and head back to my office where at least I could have the convenience of a bathroom, but long before I made it back I started wretching.  Luckily not much came up but it was still such a terrible feeling situation.  I just felt panicked.  I got back to the office and cleaned up, but I was done being sick by then.  Now I have assembled myself a barf bag for my car and have a roll of paper towels in case of a repeat.

 

DH is really being wonderful.  I'm not too terribly fatigued, but often I just don't want to do anything.  He hasn't complained and has been good at helping around the house.  He also stays on me about going to bed at a decent time, which is helpful since I can be stubborn.

 

Boobs are feeling better.  I had to sleep in a bra for a while, but have been able to fore go it the past few nights.  I've had some trouble sleeping as well.  I know exactly what you mean about DH snoring or breathing loud.  I'll wake up and all I can hear is him.  I'll whisper "turn over" and he usually obeys in his sleep, lol!  Sometimes it helps, sometimes not.

 

Constipation is a problem for me.  I've always had lots of issues with chronic constipation when not pregnant, and so I really want to try to stay on top of it now.  I figure with a baby growing in there that things will be crowded enough as is.  Prune juice, prunes, Natural Calm, alfalfa are all things I've tried. I haven't figured out the magic combination yet, though.

 

(sorry that this is becoming a novel!)

 

We told both our families on Christmas.  This is the first grandchild/niece/nephew for both sides, so we had cards for everyone that said grandma, grandpa, aunt, etc.  His family was elated.  It was funny because his mom thought she got the wrong card (we call his grandma "grandma").  She thought she had grandma's card, but grandma had a great-grandma card!  Everyone had caught on expect DH's mom, so it was funny.

 

My family was really awkward.  They really didn't seem very excited at all.  They hardly said much. I'm not sure how long it took my dad to catch on.  My family is very supportive with resources, but not always as emotionally supportive.  But, they live 3 hours away, so we don't have to deal with them a lot.

 

We've decided on homebirth, and I am most worried about my parents' reaction.  I'm really thinking of not telling them at all, but I know some conversation might come up about doctors or hospitals, etc where I end up having to explain our plans.  My mom thinks birth is a medical emergency (she was made to think her births were, at least), and so I know she will think we are idiots.  She already things I'm kinda weird just for simple things like recycling or eating organic food.  And good grief, I can't imagine what she will say when she find out I plan to use cloth diapers!  DH's family may think we are weird, but they will respect our decisions.

 

I'm really still kind of shocked that DH agreed to a homebirth.  He was very unsure about it until he met the midwives.  After the interviews he was okay with it.

 

I'm planning to not return to work once baby arrives.  That makes DH a little nervous, but I think we will be fine.  No childcare fees, no formula to buy, no diapers to buy, that all should help!  I'll be using less gas not driving to work, etc.

 

Well, I guess I've rambled on plenty long for now.  I'm excited to share this journey with you other first time Mamas!


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Old 01-07-2011, 02:54 PM
 
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Hi all! I'm also a first timer, 8w5d.  Currently I work full time at a university and dh is a grad student. The other night I was looking online at baby carriers and dh said, 'make sure you get one where I can wear the baby while I'm writing my thesis!" It was so cute, yet sad at the same time. Since I've got the good job right now, he's going to be the stay at home dad (after my mat leave) while I go back to work. I guess I just always thought that I'd be able to take a year or two off, but financially that just won't work right now. 

 

As far a pg symptoms, I guess I have it pretty easy compared to some in the DDC. I do have some nausea mid-day but no vom yet. And I want to eat everything in sight! I try to eat healthy with lots of protein, whole grains, fruits & veggies, but if I don't eat every hour or two I just get so tired and upset... I think I'm consuming almost double the amount of food I usually eat!

 

I'm excited about the DDC. I've never been much of a blogger or commenter, but it's nice to have a community of women going through the same thing as me, especially since I'm the first one of many of my close friends to have a baby.

 

 

 

 


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Old 01-07-2011, 05:02 PM
 
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Mommel: His stepbrother is staying with us, taking up my old bed. He'll move out by the end of the month (He'd better!) and then I'll probably end up sleeping in there and Dusty can have a bed again. I think it's a good idea, to have a twin bed in a nursery. I plan to have the baby sleep in our room because I have no interest in getting up at night when he/she needs something. Very funny about the two beds! Totally something I would do lately! I remember I used to be so smart!

 

I think the MC has been helpful for this pregnancy. We were certainly terrified to hope until we heard that heartbeat, but it also made me appreciate all the unplesantness - vomiting meant it was working! I feel terrible, yay! You know? I'm good now, though. I wouldn't mind feeling better :P

 

Maurine: That's too bad about the loveseat! We only recently got this giant coach and I appreciate it quite a lot! Good luck on the ultra sound, it's amazing how much better you feel when you can see that things are working!

 

Mkat: Goodness! I hope things are better than you think with your family. The movie "Business of Being Born" is a really good one for getting people more used to the idea. People who think cloth diapers are weird confuse me. They save so much money, are more environmentally friendly and are less likely to cause diaper rash - plus the studies that have linked plastic diapers to increased male infertility! Just pat them on the head for that one! I hope it goes beautifully and I'm glad that his family is excited! The massage technique I do is great for helping with bowel issues and such, if you're interested I'd be happy to send a link! Staying at home is nice - a lot of women spend their whole paycheck on childcare, so it makes just as much sense to raise your baby yourself!

 

Cat: I agree! This is so much fun!


Becky

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Mama to Charlie - born August 15th.

Waiting on number two, due March 17!

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Old 01-08-2011, 10:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Maurine: I know what you mean about feeling so huge. Fortunately, I drank a lot of water yesterday and woke up feeling not quite so huge (also, sorry for the delay in responding - I think we must have cross posted yesterday and I didn't see your response until now!) 

 

mkat83: I'm so sorry you are experiencing so much nausea. I feel lucky in that regard... I'm really not a puker. I can count on one hand how many time I've vomited in the last decade. The nausea is getting worse, but it's still just annoying and I'm not throwing up just yet. I love that you have a car-kit for it. I'm terrified of it, because I commute by train very early in the morning and I'm afraid that some drunk guy will throw up (like they sometimes do) and set me off one of these days. Also, SO constipated. I think that's much of my bloating problem too. I need to get on that prune juice idea!!

 

cat13: I love that you are both in academia! Can you say free/discounted tuition for LO? That's fabulous. I have a few friends who are professors and DH and I started dating when we were both back to school at our local university. Also, I hear what you are saying about it not working for you to be a SAHM. I would really love to not have to work at all too, but with DH in school for at least the next two years, there's just no way, no matter how frugally we live. Ugh. The best we can hope for is for me to work half time from home and half time at the office. I haven't even begun to really think about daycare yet, because it breaks my heart too much right now.

 

Beckily: I definitely know what you mean about symptoms making it better emotionally while making it worse physically. Everytime I roll over in bed and cry out in pain from sore boobs, I smile too. I feel like a huge dork, but whatever.

 

AFM: We met with our first midwife last night and really liked her, but we're starting to figure out that there's just no way for us to swing the cost of a midwife and we've gotten some good ideas for other very inexpensive healthcare at our teaching hospital here with a special program for low income folks.

 

It really bothers me that we are at this place right now. Three years ago both of us had great jobs and all the trappings that go with financial success, but then we got laid off and were forced to drain our resources just to get by as we adjusted our lifestyle to being full-time students again (I just left school for FT work again in December)... and NOW we get pregnant? But both of us being in our late thirties, it sort of feels like now or never, you know?

 

We are trying to keep a positive attitude, but some days it's so hard. I still have to do more research, but it might even be possible for us to have a water birth at the hospital. Thank heavens Portland is so progressive and so pro-natural at the same time! I have to keep reminding myself that everything happens for a reason and it will be what it will be and that it will be okay, but every now and then I just want to cry, KWIM?


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Old 01-08-2011, 11:03 AM
 
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Mommel,

I am so sorry to hear about all of that! It's a heartbreaking thing to have to decide based on money.

I know that in Washington we have (or had, we're cutting things like mad right now due to budget gaps) a program for low income pregnant ladies to get insurance and my midwives accept it.

I think very highly of Portland, so maybe they have something too? Either way, many hospitals now offer water birth and if you can be very very stubborn, you can still get your way :)

They also have an awesome ND who does the abdominal work that I do and I've always meant to go see her!

I hope things look up soon in the teaching world, it's been a few years of layoffs and hiring temporary staff here at Evergreen, I know.


Becky

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Mama to Charlie - born August 15th.

Waiting on number two, due March 17!

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Old 01-08-2011, 11:21 AM
 
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Hi All!  I'm Lauren and also a first time mom.  I am 7 weeks 5 days today and due August 22nd.  DH and I are both pretty excited to welcome this little one into the world, but I get so nervous that something awful is going to happen and we're going to lose the baby.  I'm 28 going on 29 so I am not high risk at all -- normal weight, no family history of birth defects (and my mom and her family smoked through every pregnancy), etc.  But, I get worried.  We have our first U/S on Tuesday so I am really hoping that we see a little heart beating away at that point.  

 

DH and I both work full time, but he's seriously looking for a job elsewhere because he's not happy.  Luckily my job is very steady and the culture is accepting of women who decide to start families -- pretty refreshing since I am in a male dominated field.  My boss is very open to coming back part time at first or permanently and has worked with women in the past who have decided to do that.  I'm not sure yet what we'll do.  I'm scared to think about anything until I know the baby's gonna make it.  I know that doesn't really make any sense, but I just can't help it.  

 

We told our families on Christmas Day, which was wonderful.  My mom is excited to get started on making things for baby -- she's going to make the bedding for the crib and matching layette pieces.  She's also talking about making me some maternity clothes to save us some money when we get to that point, which will be nice!  

 

Luckily so far the pregnancy has not been too unpleasant.  My mom had no sickness with either me or my brother.  I have some intermittent nausea when I don't eat often enough.  It was worse before I started taking my vitamin later in the day, but now it's not bad at all.  I still have some major food aversions, but I am NOT complaining.  Almost at 8 weeks and doing well, so I'm just crossing my fingers that the other shoe doesn't drop in the next couple of weeks.   Started fighting a cold yesterday and was really conflicted about taking medication or not taking medication.  My doctor gave me a list of acceptable things to take but after some research some of them I think are questionable.  Since I was unable to really sleep Thursday night or Friday, and did a lot of reading about it online, I decided to take Mucinex because I knew it was what I needed.  I slept so well last night, but I am nervous about continuing to take it.  I figure a few doses can't hurt too much if it helps me sleep and get through the day until I feel better.  I'm trying to be a little laid back about things if I can...somehow humanity has continued to exist for thousands of year without major issues even without all the paranoia we have these days....


Lauren (28) married to DH (28) 11/4/2007.  Expecting our little peanut August 22, 2011!
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Old 01-08-2011, 12:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, Beckily.

 

I'm still waiting to hear whether or not I qualify for that program here in Oregon (OHP), but I might be JUST above the cut-off figure according to the research I have done so far. Even so, I have the paperwork in and am waiting... we'll see. I will definitely be paying for a doula though, so I should be okay either way...

 

Raqui

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Mommel,

I am so sorry to hear about all of that! It's a heartbreaking thing to have to decide based on money.

I know that in Washington we have (or had, we're cutting things like mad right now due to budget gaps) a program for low income pregnant ladies to get insurance and my midwives accept it.

I think very highly of Portland, so maybe they have something too? Either way, many hospitals now offer water birth and if you can be very very stubborn, you can still get your way :)

They also have an awesome ND who does the abdominal work that I do and I've always meant to go see her!

I hope things look up soon in the teaching world, it's been a few years of layoffs and hiring temporary staff here at Evergreen, I know.




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Old 01-08-2011, 01:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi Lauren! 

 

It's so great you have a such a supportive work environment. My field is pretty male oriented too, and not terribly family-friendly. That's pretty cool that your boss is so great! Good luck on Tuesday! Let us know how it goes!!

 

Raqui


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Old 01-08-2011, 01:18 PM
 
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Lauren: Welcome! And know that it's very normal to be nervous until you see or hear from the baby. We were terrified and had a very hard time getting excited before seeing the ultra sound. I hope it goes beautifully! Your mother sounds wonderful - I still treasure the homemade things from when I was a baby!

Mommel: I wish you luck, then! And a doula will make all the difference! I'm lucky and am doing a trade with mine - massage for doula work. Everyone's happy and she's wonderful!


Becky

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Mama to Charlie - born August 15th.

Waiting on number two, due March 17!

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Old 01-08-2011, 01:54 PM
 
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Can I join too?

 

I will be a first time mom.  I'm 33 and DH is 34.  We've been together for 15 yrs next month.  I had a bunch of medical issues which prevented us from trying earlier...but I must have gotten them under control because we got pregnant on the first month we tried! 

 

I'm a school psychologist and DH is an engineer.  I will plan on taking at least a full year off work, but will probably go back part time after that just to be able to hold my position.  There have been a lot of cut backs in the schools and I'm afraid if I take off longer, it will be hard to get my job back. 

 

As far as symptoms go, I've been very tired and I have nausea most days, though I have not vomited once.  I have had some cramping nearly everyday since before I got my BFP.  No spotting.  My boobs are sore, but not as sore as many of you.  DH thinks they are bigger, but I don't think they are much bigger...which worries me sometimes, but I'm an easy worrier.  I haven't gained any weight, but my belly is significantly bigger.  That makes me think that something is going on in there.  :)  My biggest symptom is my crappy appetite.  I was either not hungry or I'm hungry, but repulsed by all foods.  It's really frustrating.  Before pregnancy I would eat eggs for breakfast, have a healthy lunch and dinner...all with protein, a small carb side and lots of fruits and veggies.  Now I am repulsed by eggs (and I own chickens so that stinks) and am having a REALLY hard time eating enough protein.

 

I have an appt this Friday for us to hear the heartbeat.  I will be exactly 11 wks.  I hope the baby cooperates so I know he/she is in there.  I can't wait!!! 

 

We are planning a homebirth, long term breastfeeding, and cloth diapering.

 

Bree


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Old 01-08-2011, 04:04 PM
 
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Yay thanks for starting this! I am 10 weeks right now, and this is my first pregnancy/first child, same for DH. I teach yoga so I am really lucky to be in an industry that is very supportive of pregnant women and mothers, I am planning on continuing to teach until I pop, and hope to resume teaching when the baby is 3 months or so. Since I can teach in the evenings DH can have baby duty while I go to class :) DH is doing really well and isn't stressed at all, to the point where I get a little worried sometimes, lol. He's wanted to try to have a baby for a while, but I definitely didn't feel ready until this year. Both our families are excited, this will be the first grand kid for my mom, so she is really happy. Our friends are also excited, but I am worried that once the baby comes we won't see them so much anymore because nobody else has kids yet. I do have one friend got got pregnant about a week before me, so we have been enjoying sharing info and commiserating together, lol. It's really nice because she has a lot of the same beliefs about birthing as I do, so we can talk about natural birthing strategies and such together. She is also planning a home birth while I am going for the birthing center, so it will be cool to compare our experiences.

 

As for symptoms, I feel like I pretty much have everything in the book! It's actually been horrible for me so far, but I am really excited to be a mom (I already can't wait until the baby is out!) The nausea has been especially bad, and lasts all day long, even though I am on zofran which helps me keep the food and liquids down. I have had a really crampy pelvis, not just the uterus but my pelvic floor is also twingy at night. I basically sit in the bath (not too hot, just warm) all night long just to get relief from the nausea and sore muscles.

 

So far the best part of this pregnancy has been the u/s I had at 6 weeks. They checked for twins because I was so sick, and luckily there was only one! I got to see the little heartbeat on the screen and it completely amazed me and was so wonderful to see! We also got to hear the heart beat at the midwife appointment this week which was also really cool.

 

Other than feeling so sick, DH and I are doing pretty well and not stressing out too much. We generally have faith that things are going to work out for the best, and roll with the punches when things get tough. I am a little nervous about parenting in general because my family life was rather unhappy growing up, and I just want to make sure that we have a happy family. DH has an amazing family though, so we really want to model a lot of what his parents did, so it's nice to have a good example like that.

 

Good luck to all the other first time mama's, I'm so glad we have this website and community to come to!

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Old 01-08-2011, 06:14 PM
 
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Beckily- I would love the link to the massage technique  that you do.  I'm willing to give anything a shot!  I often rub my abdomen because it feels good, but I don't really know what I'm doing.  I did that before I was preg as well.

 

Mommel- I'm impressed that you might be able to have a waterbirth in the hospital.  The most natural birth friendly hospital in our area has tubs, but you can only labor in them before your water breaks.  I hope you find something that works for you!  Do you think you can find an affordable doula to be with you at the hospital?  Everything I have read about doulas sounds so wonderful, especially for a hospital setting.  A friend of mine who is due in May said she is thinking about taking her own table lamp with her to the hospital so she will have better control over the lighting in the room.  I figure anything to make it more calm and home-like it good!

 

bonadl2- I know how you feel with a cold.  Just after I got my BFP I got a cold.  At first I thought I had pregnancy rhinitis because I googled "sneezing while pregnant" and that is what I found.  But I later realized it was just a plain old cold.  I didn't take anything, but I slept kind of propped up and went out and bought a humidifier for our room.  The lights on the humidifier ended up really bugging me so I did some surgery on it and disabled the lights.  I was pretty proud of myself, lol!  I really couldn't tell if it helped or not, but I think it helped my mouth and lips not to be so dry since I was breathing through my mouth while my nose was stopped up.

 

SoonToBe- I have the same issue with eggs.  Used to eat them every morning and now I want nothing to do with them!  I don't have my own chickens, though.  I want nothing to do with things I usually love and I can't seem to figure out what sounds appealing.

 

Jbouck5- I also have a friend who is pregnant now, and you're right, its nice to have someone to compare notes with.  Although my friend isn't as close in pregnancy as yours is to you-- my friend is due in mid-May.  She also has similar ideas on birthing and parenting, which is really nice.  Most people we know are really mainstream and I don't really look forward to discussing our birth plans with most people!


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Old 01-08-2011, 08:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome, Jbouck5 and SoonToBe (Bree, I was hoping I'd see you over here!). I want to respond to you all, but I think I need a hiatus tonight. I had a complete mental breakdown this afternoon... weird angry tears for no reason (I dropped my food, that was it) and I've been crying off and on all day for no apparent reason. I think I'm just overwhelmed and feeling crazy. Anyone else had this? Anyway, I'm going to go to bed and try again in the morning. sleepytime.gif


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Old 01-08-2011, 10:03 PM
 
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Oh mommel, no worries! I have definitely had a few moments where I feel like my brain is about to melt and I am totally emotionally overwhelmed. It really can take just one little thing going wrong and you feel like it's all just too much to deal with, just for a minute :) My solution has been to loose myself in my favorite books and take a bath , have a good night :)

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Old 01-09-2011, 12:18 AM
 
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http://arvigotherapy.com

It's not as descriptive about how it helps pregnant women, but I get to do the massage with pregnant women and they love it! I had a lady the other day in whose only negative symptom was hemorrhoids (she's 37 wks). She felt relief after just the hour of massage. It's great stuff :)


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Old 01-09-2011, 10:37 AM
 
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Ohh, there is a practitioner in my area!  I am totally going to check this out ASAP.  Thanks!
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckily View Post

http://arvigotherapy.com

It's not as descriptive about how it helps pregnant women, but I get to do the massage with pregnant women and they love it! I had a lady the other day in whose only negative symptom was hemorrhoids (she's 37 wks). She felt relief after just the hour of massage. It's great stuff :)




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Old 01-09-2011, 10:44 AM
 
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You're welcome! I hope you love it as much as I do! They do limited things first trimester, but more after that. I get to cheat and do what I want now ;)

Everyone is always cautious with first trimester - not because they think they will harm you, but because things so often go wrong that they don't want you to THINK they did.


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Old 01-10-2011, 10:06 AM
 
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Blarg!  I posted and then lost it. 

 

cat13 - Your plans sound like ours used to be.  DH just graduated from grad school, but since we've been trying for 1.5 years, our plan at first was to have him stay home with the babe.  But now, I want him to get a job and me to stay home!  We'll see!

 

bonadl2 - I think I had a cold, and know I think it's pregnancy rhinitis.  I am 11 weeks, and have been sneezing for a week, and got congested yesterday and today--but it disappears by the afternoon. 

 

mommel - Hooray for a water birth!  That would be great.  I want one too, and there is one (only one!) hospital nearby that does them.

 

AFM - Anyone else as scared as I am that the pregnancy won't work out?  Every day I have worries that the baby has died or stopped growing.  We have an ultrasound tomorrow, so I hope we see that everything is ok!  We bought a baby doppler on Amazon.  We couldn't find the heartbeat over the weekend.  :(  I know it's early (even if the MW found it in the office at 9 weeks)...but it would have been so reassuring!!


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Old 01-10-2011, 10:43 AM
 
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Hi everyone--

Happy to see this thread.  I am about to be a first timer, although I have had 2 previous pregnancies when I was younger, which I voluntarily terminated.  I'm sick of having to explain this to various dr's I meet.  It's stuff that I haven't had to deal with in a while and all of a sudden it's at the forefront. 

Anyway...my husband and I have only been married for 4 months, only been together for about 2 years, but have been best friends for 10 years =)  We are both 26 and this was a planned pregnancy, but I'm having a struggle with the financial aspect of this.  I JUST graduated from college and am doing counseling part-time in community mental health.  My husband is an assistant manager of a warehouse and is starting back to school for engineering.  We are eligible for no financial assistance anywhere because we make too much, but we can't pre-qualify for a mortgage because we don't make enough and the rent prices in our area are so incredibly high.  We live in a  dumpy apartment and I want out before the baby comes.  But moving means saving 3/4 less than we are right now.  And to top it off, I have to start paying student loans back  in August, with the baby due at the end of July.  AH!  I plan on staying part-time and moving my hours around so we don't need to pay childcare.  I just don't know how to get ahead.  We are a frugal, no frills, coupon clipping couple but it's starting to feel so impossible!  I should mention we live in the Philadelphia suburbs which is EXTREMELY expensive, but our families and jobs are here.  I don't know, is this all the compromise of starting a family young? 

I'm at 11w5d and I'm getting over the first trimester hump around now, but it was bad.  So what I'm left with, that is still bothering me, is the weight gain.  I've had weight/body issues my entire life.  I have the tendency to become really obsessive with my weight and work-out routines/eating habits and since I've gotten pregnant, I feel like my weight and body are spiraling out of the control.  It's been really difficult. 

 

WOW it feels good to dump all of that out.  There has been definite good parts of this pregnancy, but today I've got the bad stuff on my mind.  Anyway, glad to get this out there.


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Old 01-10-2011, 10:52 AM
 
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Hello Yell!

That sounds extremely frustrating!

Welcome! This seems to be a great and supportive place to vent. How long will he be in school? Engineering is a good career so after this next bit, things should get better!

And I think that's just how it is, yeah. Before you're established in a career, it's hard.

You can usually get the loans to wait awhile, if you tell them what's going on in your life.


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Old 01-10-2011, 11:06 AM
 
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My DF has a thing about never getting excited. It's from his upbringing and he doesn't like to anticipate things, just be happy when they happen. I'm having a hard time with it. He does try lately (mostly probably to keep me from crying, gah - so emotional!) so it's getting a bit nicer.

I tried again last night to sleep with him, but as he insists on breathing, I slept terribly. Woke up every two or three hours. Back to the couch for him!

I'm having trouble deciding what to do about work. I have another year and a half or so on my lease for my office at the birth house. I love it there, but it is more expensive than most offices and I can't seem to find someone to share it with me so it's a burden if I don't get enough work. I'm having trouble with the massaging lately because it tends to hurt my back - I suffer for my less-than-stellar body mechanics far more right now. I had trouble standing last night and that's becoming more common. Have to work on my postural muscles more.

But I don't know how long I'm going to be able to work. You have to be very careful with your hands when relaxin is around, you can permanently damage them doing the work I do. I was taking insurance, but the main one was bought out by another company and I can no longer accept it, so that's really hurt my income. DF is fine with paying all my bills except the rent on my office - though we've talked about the part where he'll probably have to for a month or three when I'm around birth.

I also work at a chiropractor and they're wonderful and most of my income some weeks, but I think I'm working too much. Massage takes so much energy - not just physically but emotionally. I completely love it but right now it's very hard.

The good bit about it is that I am my own boss for most of my week and that will make it easier once we have a baby. DF also has his own company and works from home - he's a programmer - so childcare won't be an issue.

I'm not worried about money which feels amazing, but I am worried about my body. I am not as strong as I would like and already have chronic pain issues from two car wrecks.

And I keep being terrified that he's going to want to leave me after one of my Charming Mood Swings.

Anyone else having trouble with sex? I haven't seen it mentioned. It feels weird now, with a larger uterus and my breasts have gone from tenderness to "Wow! I think it's full of needles and if you so much as look at it wrong I might have to scream!"

 

I might go boot him out of the bed now so I can get some solid sleep. :)


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Old 01-10-2011, 11:07 AM
 
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First-timer here as well. De-lurking as I have been following MDC for a couple of years (mostly the TTC/Infertility boards). My husband and I have been married for 8.5 years, been together for 11.5. We had been trying for 2 very long years and had done IUIs with Clomid, then moved on to the injectables. All 3 IUIs were unsuccessful, and the month that we were "taking off" from medical intervention is the month that we get pg on our own!! We were shocked, but very excited.

 

I am grateful that I have a wonderfully successful husband and a great career of my own. We have no financial worries, and have been ready for this baby for a long time. Though we don't currently worry about money, we never know what might happen in the future, I will definitely be going back to work after maternity leave (even though I would rather stay home). The compromise is that I get to take the full 12 weeks of maternity leave.

 

Looking forward to getting to know everyone here!!

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Old 01-10-2011, 11:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi ladies! I'm so glad that everyone has found a little nest here and I'm hoping that we can all commiserate and also share the joys that this first-time mom thing will surely bring... grouphug.gif

 

AFM, I'm still feeling very a bit overwhelmed, anxious and exhausted, in addition to increasingly nauseated, so I'm just popping in to say hello and welcome all our new additions to this thread. I might check back later today after I've eaten a bit more and I don't feel like such a big whiner about all of it. sick.gif


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Old 01-10-2011, 12:38 PM
 
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Beckily- I sent an e-mail to the local practitioners inquiring as to whether I could come in at this point of pregnancy and I'm waiting to hear back from them.  They have a lot of really positive reviews, so I'm looking forward to it.  And LOL-- how inconsiderate of DH to insist on breathing!  Surely he knows how important it is for you to get your rest!  You seriously made me laugh.  lol.gif

As for sex- we've not had any issues.  The very first time we had sex after finding out I was pregnant he asked me how I felt about it, and I said I had no problems with having sex.  After that first time I felt really crampy for a while, which kinda worried me, but subsequent times have been fine.  I have actually been finding orgasm to be easier.  Also, and this may be TMI, but I've long had issues with, I guess engorgement and blood flow in my clitoral area.  Had no such issues as a teenager, but it had been different the last 5 or so years.  That seems to have changed now as well.  I haven't yet experienced the wild pregnant sex drive hormones that I've heard of, but it doesn't sound like too much of a bad thing if that happens!

 

yell- welcome!  I can only imagine what its like having to discuss things long past with the doc's now.  I guess you just have to remember that maybe it will be important for them to know for current baby!  Also, I don't think the financial issues are necessarily age related.  We are 27, so one year older than you, but completely different scenario.  I think financial issues know no age... nor anything else!  As for the body image-- just think about how cute you are going to be with your baby bump!

 

grassisgreener- welcome!  Its funny how things just decide to work on their own sometimes.  DH and I weren't planning to "try" to get pregnant until December, and then were totally surprised when it happened in November.  Kind of an oops, but a good oops!

 

 

AFM- Sent my medical history form to my mw today and will be scheduling an appointment with her soon.  I have a CNM appt next Monday.  I did pretty well with nausea over the weekend (knock on wood!).  Yesterday I decided I wanted Kashi pizza and mac & cheese, so I went to the store and got both.  And I've been tolerating both really, really well.  Between DH & I, we ate a whole box of mac & cheese yesterday (ok, so it was mostly me).  At least its the "all natural" kind!  I made another box last night so I'd have more for lunch today!  Also, boss told me that we have a lunch meeting tomorrow with someone, so I'm not looking forward to that.  He lets me pick the place when we have lunch meetings, so at least I have that in my favor.

 

Suddenly feeling a little yucky at the moment, so trying to decide if I should make a trip to the restroom or not.  We have multiple restrooms in the building, but I feel like people could hear me heaving if I went to the one I normally use on my floor.  There is a secluded restroom on another floor away from offices, though, so at least I can feel like I have some privacy.  Only bad thing about that one is that it is a 3 stall bathroom and has no lock on the door, so I guess someone could come in but its highly unlikely.  Maybe I just need to distract myself and focus on not losing my lunch!  I've got some trail mix to nibble on, so maybe that will help.

 

Also fun over the weekend-- I was browsing Craigslist and found a listing of brand new baby bedding in a pattern that I wanted.  Online it would have been $325, but this lady was selling it new for $50!!  She used to work in the child products industry and got it free at a trade show.  I went and got it, so that was fun.  I know its likely that my baby won't even sleep in a crib (probably will be with me all the time) but I still feel obligated to have a "traditional" looking baby room.


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Old 01-10-2011, 02:23 PM
 
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MKAT: I looked at the ones in your area and they do look good! I'm very much looking forward to second trimester when I can go see the lady near me! I get to cheat and do the belly work on myself when it's too early for them to do so which is very helpful!

He's agreed that he should go back to the couch - if he wakes me up he gets kicked and poked at until he's quiet again, so he doesn't get very good sleep either! ;)

I'm glad things are working well for you, sex-wise. It's been amusing, mostly. We try but I either feel sick, sore or exhausted so it ends up being a cuddle. I do like my cuddles.

Congrats on the great buy! The Internet is a fabulous place for finding things affordably!

I've started making too much mac and cheese lately, it's so good! I like it that you're agreeing ;)


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Old 01-10-2011, 03:00 PM
 
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Ah the sex issue, I have completely lost my libido, probably because of the hormones as well as feeling sick all the time :( And when we do have sex it hurts (not terrible, just uncomfortable). I read that being pregnant increases the blood volume in the vaginal canal, and can cause it to be more sensitive and a little swollen. This can make it better for some women and worse for others. For now I am just trying to enjoy the whole bonding/intamacy aspect so poor DH doesn't go crazy living with a sick and emotional wife and no sex :)

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