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#1 of 51 Old 03-14-2011, 10:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm so so so nervous.  We have our 20 week u/s tomorrow with the Perinatologist.  I'm a nervous wreck.  I am taking the measurements from the 3d u/s and also writing down every single thing he didn't mention or measure at the 16 week u/s so that we cover all of our concerns.  If I have to leave there feeling let down with so many questions lingering I will have no choice but to go elsewhere, which will most likely be difficult.  I hope and pray that all of this is just my anxiety and that this baby has beat the odds and that he will be healthy and ok.  It will be a miracle if he is, because I do not know how such a tiny little thing could survive the meds and horrible panic I have endured.  Any calming, positive thoughts (or prayers) you can send my way are greatly appreciated!!

 

Here's a profile pic at 17 weeks (hopefully it works)

 

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#2 of 51 Old 03-14-2011, 11:35 AM
 
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Good luck! (((HUGS)))


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#3 of 51 Old 03-14-2011, 11:45 AM
 
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I'm going in tomorrow for my 20 week ultrasound, too!! I'll be thinking of you while I get mine :)

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#4 of 51 Old 03-14-2011, 12:54 PM
 
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Sending good thoughts your way! 


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#5 of 51 Old 03-14-2011, 02:26 PM
 
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I'll be praying you find out all you need to - and that you find, even if there are some concerns, that compared to your fears, they're minimal.  (Not in *any way* to minimize your fears; just hoping and praying for you to get good, solid, reassuring news!)

 

 


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#6 of 51 Old 03-14-2011, 05:32 PM
 
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Lots of good thoughts for you!


Mama to a 6 year old diva, and new little man July 2011.

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#7 of 51 Old 03-14-2011, 05:34 PM
 
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Good luck tomorrow!  Can't wait to hear a bunch of good news :)


Copper- wife to B, mama to DS1 Jeb 12.4.07, and DS2 William 8.11.11.  So thrilled to be expecting a surprise baby 10.26.14!!!
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#8 of 51 Old 03-15-2011, 06:41 AM
 
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Good thoughts headed your way!  I love the ultrasound pic in your post.  What a cutie!


Jessica, wife of Marc and Momma to Nikolai (10) and Nathaniel (9) and Olivia (3).
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#9 of 51 Old 03-15-2011, 06:43 AM
 
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Thinking of you mama!  Hoping you come back with a huge smile and great news and MORE PICS!!


Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
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#10 of 51 Old 03-15-2011, 09:13 AM
 
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Hope that things are going well for you today!  Keep us posted...  I thought of you this AM as soon as I logged in!


Wife to DH geek.gif, mom to DS (4/09), and DD (8/11)fly-by-nursing2.gif, and crafty and hardworking in my own right!  In my parenting journey I've  delayedvax.gif, signcirc1.gif, familybed2.gif, h20homebirth.gif, andcd.gif.  To each family their own!!

 

 

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#11 of 51 Old 03-15-2011, 01:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well....baby has a moderately dilated kidney which the Peri said is a soft marker so I had an amnio.  I knew that I would if he saw anything.  He dismissed my concerns over the BPD/FL ratio so whatever. I feel like the u/s wasn't very in depth.  I had to ask various questions and he went back to measure things I mentioned (like he wasn't even going to do it).  I'm feeling a whole host of emotions right now.  I'm worried about the kidney situation and if it's going to get worse, if it's going to affect my amniotic fluid, if lungs won't develop and we'll have to deliver early.  I'm just worried.  So I'm worried about the amnio results, but I'm also worried about the kidney situation as well. 

 

I just don't know what any of it means and I'm tempted to call a Nephrologist (which both of my kids see already) to see his thoughts.  I wonder if it has anything to do with heredity.  My son has a duplex kidney, but it was never seen on our level 2 u/s.  We didn't catch it until he was close to 4, I believe.  I'm just a nervous wreck over it all.  And again just so many emotions about it all. 

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#12 of 51 Old 03-15-2011, 01:44 PM
 
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Oh, no, mama.  Hugs! hug.gif  I would have done the same in your shoes.  When will you get the amnio results?  I'm a little naive about this, so forgive me, but what will the results tell you?  I'm so sorry you're going through this.  Lean on us, we are all here for you.  

 


Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
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#13 of 51 Old 03-15-2011, 01:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh, no, mama.  Hugs! hug.gif  I would have done the same in your shoes.  When will you get the amnio results?  I'm a little naive about this, so forgive me, but what will the results tell you?  I'm so sorry you're going through this.  Lean on us, we are all here for you.  

 


Well, the amnio will basically only tell me if the kidney situation is due to down syndrome or another chromosomal issue, which I hope and pray isn't the case.  So it's kind of related, but kind of not.  It's a soft marker for Down Syndrome and I am a NEED TO KNOW person - if this baby does have DS, I need to prepare and grieve before birth not on BIRTH DAY.  I also need to prepare my children. Regardless, the kidney issue will be monitored separately.  So I have to worry about the amnio results, but also the kidney situation which is basically monitor and wait and see.  I've read it's VERY common, but I just wished that something would go wonderfully.  That we could have walked out with such reassurance.  I was daydreaming about it and thinking that everything would be better after this u/s and we could tell people, but now I just want to isolate .... even more.   FISH results (preliminary) will be in by Friday.  So we should know about DS and the other major trisomies. But other results won't be in for a couple weeks. I'm so sad and anxious.  And just feeling like I'm letting people down.  Everything going on with my daughter is making it much worse.  She's made it clear that she hopes this child doesn't survive - that is devastating.

 

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#14 of 51 Old 03-15-2011, 02:12 PM
 
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Veggie, I don't have much to add except hug2.gif.  Also, just trust that you are doing your best... if people decide to let themselves "feel let down" by your circumstances,  then that's their decision to feel that way, you are not in control of their feelings.


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#15 of 51 Old 03-15-2011, 02:12 PM
 
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Good luck tomorrow.  I hope it all goes well.  Keep us posted.  You will be in our thoughts.


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#16 of 51 Old 03-15-2011, 02:38 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by veggiemomto2 View Post
Everything going on with my daughter is making it much worse.  She's made it clear that she hopes this child doesn't survive - that is devastating.

 



Well, that's certainly not going to be helpful.  I'm sorry she's being like that.



Quote:
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Veggie, I don't have much to add except hug2.gif.  Also, just trust that you are doing your best... if people decide to let themselves "feel let down" by your circumstances,  then that's their decision to feel that way, you are not in control of their feelings.


I agree with this.  Don't worry about what other ppl are going to think or feel.  Do what feels best for you, the baby, and your family.

 

Man, I just hope everything comes out normal or within range so you can just BREATHE for a change.  Huge hugs, mama.

 


Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
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#17 of 51 Old 03-15-2011, 02:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Honestly, I just feel like I'm letting down my children, especially my daughter, but that's so in depth and there's just so much going on with her.  I'm going to get her help.  I know she's just hurting and it's turned to anger, but it's so hard.  Also, I for some reason feel like I've let this baby down.  I am just feeling so odd.  I can't even explain the range of emotions.  Just laying there doing something I didn't think I'd be doing and feeling that pain and realizing that it's not risk free - it just felt weird.  I'll keep you guys updated.  Thank you for all the support!

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#18 of 51 Old 03-15-2011, 02:57 PM
 
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I think it is so important for you to remember that this is not your fault, and you are not letting anyone down! You're right, your DD is grieving and dealing with the worry in her own way, and hopefully she will come around and be more supportive. It's my belief that every person is a miracle even with abnormalities or health issues, remember your baby will love you no matter if there is DS, kidney issues etc. you are still doing everything you can to give him a healthy and happy life. Hang in there mama, we are all here for you.

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#19 of 51 Old 03-15-2011, 03:04 PM
 
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P.S. I'm not sure if this would make you feel better or not, but there is a great blog I read called "Enjoying the Small Things" www.kellehampton.com by a mom who had a baby girl with DS last year. She was devastated and distraught at first (which is completely normal and healthy) and has since discovered how perfect her new daughter is just the way she is, even though she sometimes faces challenges, Kelle writes that she has totally brought their family together even more. This blog helped me deal with my fears of having a child with some kind of health issues, or birth defects. I hope you might find some comfort in her writing.

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#20 of 51 Old 03-15-2011, 03:04 PM
 
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Lots of hugs!


Mama to a 6 year old diva, and new little man July 2011.

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#21 of 51 Old 03-15-2011, 03:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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P.S. I'm not sure if this would make you feel better or not, but there is a great blog I read called "Enjoying the Small Things" www.kellehampton.com by a mom who had a baby girl with DS last year. She was devastated and distraught at first (which is completely normal and healthy) and has since discovered how perfect her new daughter is just the way she is, even though she sometimes faces challenges, Kelle writes that she has totally brought their family together even more. This blog helped me deal with my fears of having a child with some kind of health issues, or birth defects. I hope you might find some comfort in her writing.



Love love Kelle Hampton as a fellow photographer and for her blog.  Her story is amazing.  I actually visit her blog often!  She is such an inspiration and so touching.  I never ever read Nella's birth story without crying (which I've read several times!!)  I think she's touched so many people!

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#22 of 51 Old 03-15-2011, 03:25 PM
 
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Lots of love, hugs and good vibes your way! I'm so sorry you are going through all of this.


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#23 of 51 Old 03-15-2011, 04:23 PM
 
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oh mama, huge hugs.  Isn't it frustrating when life hands us something like this in the most inappropriate moments?  You WILL get through this no matter what.  I pray Friday gives you a big sigh of relief. 


Jill, mama to three fiery girlies and a sweet baby boy: Grace, 11.30.2005,  Ayla, 3.22.2008, Norah 9.5.09, Reed 8.19.11 & dfs Gage 2.29.12   angel1.gif x4
 

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#24 of 51 Old 03-15-2011, 07:02 PM
 
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I'm so sorry you didn't get the news you were hoping for, and that you are still in "limbo".  Hugs to you during this tough time.


Copper- wife to B, mama to DS1 Jeb 12.4.07, and DS2 William 8.11.11.  So thrilled to be expecting a surprise baby 10.26.14!!!
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#25 of 51 Old 03-15-2011, 08:53 PM
 
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Hi Veggie,

It may be a positive thing that your daughter is expressing her anxiety instead of bottling it all up - not that it makes it easier to hear it - but at least she is trying to deal with it.

 

sending you warm and positive thoughts.

 

 

 

 

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#26 of 51 Old 03-16-2011, 05:28 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by veggiemomto2 View Post

Well....baby has a moderately dilated kidney which the Peri said is a soft marker so I had an amnio.  I knew that I would if he saw anything.  He dismissed my concerns over the BPD/FL ratio so whatever. I feel like the u/s wasn't very in depth.  I had to ask various questions and he went back to measure things I mentioned (like he wasn't even going to do it).  I'm feeling a whole host of emotions right now.  I'm worried about the kidney situation and if it's going to get worse, if it's going to affect my amniotic fluid, if lungs won't develop and we'll have to deliver early.  I'm just worried.  So I'm worried about the amnio results, but I'm also worried about the kidney situation as well. 

 

I just don't know what any of it means and I'm tempted to call a Nephrologist (which both of my kids see already) to see his thoughts.  I wonder if it has anything to do with heredity.  My son has a duplex kidney, but it was never seen on our level 2 u/s.  We didn't catch it until he was close to 4, I believe.  I'm just a nervous wreck over it all.  And again just so many emotions about it all. 


 

*hugs*  I have a nephew and a friend who discovered kidney issues with their unborn sons.  My friend's son is 7 and they just found out that the appointment that he just had was to be his last, his issues have all cleared!  My 7-year-old nephew is expecting to get the same news at his next appointment.  Both were born full term with no complications, and both had at least one severely affected kidney.  Considering that both of your kids are already seeing a nephrologist for kidney issues, I would be inclined to think kidney issues are hereditary, and not that this is a marker for DS.

 

One more kidney story for you.  My mom was born with a deformed kidney that only functions at about 10%.  The other kidney is also deformed, but has always functioned properly.  She has had a perfectly healthy and normal life until now at age 58.  Her kidney function has started to deteriorate in the last year and they have discovered that the other kidney is now functioning at 40%.  That's 57 years of perfect health.

 

Hopefully all three stories will give you some hope that a moderately dilated kidney does not means Downs Syndrome or anything else too worrisome.  I think calling the nephrologist is a great idea if it gives you peace of mind.  Chances are your OB is already planning to send you to one for a consult, at least my SIL and friend were both sent to one with their sons.  It might as well be the one you already have a relationship with.

 

As for your daughter, I don't know exactly what's going on with her but I do agree that, as hurtful as it is, her expressing her feelings is much better than bottling them up.  Having her talk things over with a therapist could be of great help, though.  And you are not letting anyone down!  *hugs*
 

 


Jessica, wife of Marc and Momma to Nikolai (10) and Nathaniel (9) and Olivia (3).
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#27 of 51 Old 03-16-2011, 06:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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*hugs*  I have a nephew and a friend who discovered kidney issues with their unborn sons.  My friend's son is 7 and they just found out that the appointment that he just had was to be his last, his issues have all cleared!  My 7-year-old nephew is expecting to get the same news at his next appointment.  Both were born full term with no complications, and both had at least one severely affected kidney.  Considering that both of your kids are already seeing a nephrologist for kidney issues, I would be inclined to think kidney issues are hereditary, and not that this is a marker for DS.

 

One more kidney story for you.  My mom was born with a deformed kidney that only functions at about 10%.  The other kidney is also deformed, but has always functioned properly.  She has had a perfectly healthy and normal life until now at age 58.  Her kidney function has started to deteriorate in the last year and they have discovered that the other kidney is now functioning at 40%.  That's 57 years of perfect health.

 

Hopefully all three stories will give you some hope that a moderately dilated kidney does not means Downs Syndrome or anything else too worrisome.  I think calling the nephrologist is a great idea if it gives you peace of mind.  Chances are your OB is already planning to send you to one for a consult, at least my SIL and friend were both sent to one with their sons.  It might as well be the one you already have a relationship with.

 

As for your daughter, I don't know exactly what's going on with her but I do agree that, as hurtful as it is, her expressing her feelings is much better than bottling them up.  Having her talk things over with a therapist could be of great help, though.  And you are not letting anyone down!  *hugs*
 

 


Thank you!

 

My son was found to have a duplex kidney (basically a double kidney) and also very VERY mild pelvicaliectasis (which is like hydronephrosis, but is not due to a blockage).  He's not even being followed for this anymore.  He had one follow up u/s a year after we found it and they said it was such a common and minor finding that it was just there and always would be. This was never seen on the in depth u/s's we had before birth, though.  Both of them are followed by nephrology for hypercalciuria (excess calcium in urine) and increased risk of stones.  I don't even want to relate all of this to my father, because he never had ANY kidney issues prior to the one that took his life, but I lost him a year and a half ago to a shocking kidney cancer.  Found by accident.  They said it isn't a cancer that is typically hereditary though it makes me wonder. 

 

I tried to get answers from the OB, but they just weren't there.  And I guess I can't expect him to answer things he doesn't know, but I wish someone could.  Like is it hydronephrosis or just an enlarged kidney at this point?  Will they ever be able to tell if there is a blockage in utero?  I just feel like waiting 8 weeks will be torture.  The only things he was certain of is kidney issues can cause lung development issues and low amniotic fluid which in turn could cause them to induce me very early.  I guess after I get the amnio results my next step will be to contact either the Nephrologist or Urologist and see if they can take a look.  I will definitely breathe easier after amnio results - well, if all is ok.  But nothing seems to come back ok anymore. 

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#28 of 51 Old 03-16-2011, 07:27 AM
 
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I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. Hopefully you will get some answers soon and I am hoping they will be the answers you want to hear. I will be sending positive thoughts your way hug2.gif


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#29 of 51 Old 03-16-2011, 08:02 AM
 
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As a mama...it's normal to feel like everything that occurs in your child's life is somehow your fault...good or bad.

I remember the blame game *that I still struggle with from time to time* when my eldest son had a bike accident and damaged his brain for life. It was somehow all my fault. Even though he had a helmet (that he had attached to his back pack instead of on his HEAD where it belonged!!). Even though it was a beautiful Sunday afternoon with no reason for him not to ride his bike home from his job. Even though there was no reason for me to pick him up for work. Even though it was completely in no way whatsoever my fault. It was still...me letting him down. Because I didn't save him. Because I couldn't.

When we lost our twins...again...it was my fault. According to me. My fault. Even though that's not really true. My fault. Somehow...I had let my babies down. I had not protected them.

When our 5 year old, now 7, began to stutter after his big brothers traumatic brain injury....that was my fault too. My fault for not protecting him from the stress...for being emotional...for not being a good enough mother to calm the stutter away. Yes..I got a speech therapist who has become a part of our family...a wonderful grandmother and friend to ALL my children. And the stutter is leaving him. But...whenever it pipes up again in a stressful or excited moment...it's always "my" fault.

Anything that is going on with your baby....it's not your fault. You didn't let your baby down. Life happens. We can't control it. We WANT to. But...we can't. And somehow, that has to be o.k. Because, you can really destroy yourself with blame....trust me....I've been there. I'm still there. But..I'm working on it. ((HUG))

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#30 of 51 Old 03-16-2011, 10:51 AM
 
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Oh hon.  Just know that you have our support on here.  The emotions of pregnancy are so overwhleming.  Do you think it might help to talk to a professional therapist of some kind?  I know it can almost seem like an additional burden to seek one out, but it might help just to be able to talk about things.


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