I havent been posting on here lately ladies except for photos:)
But I wanted to share with you my experience so far in this pregnancy and where this journey has led us so far. In the beginning I started out with a midwife from our old area ( about 2 hrs east) she "gave us the boot" because she felt uneasy with my wanting to deliver my own baby, or maybe hubby wanting to catch. I didnt want her hovering, waiting on me, or telling me what to do. she was uncool with that and we confronted her and she split. So for a few months Ive been looking into Free birthing, Unassisted childbirth or whatever youd like to call it. this is our third child and our last was born at home. the first was a traditional, invervention infused short of c section delivery.
Since our first midwife dumped us we didnt seek any prenatal care for months. till today, today was my first appt. she is a community created midwife, no college education or advanced anything here. just a modern day "granny midwife" up here in the amish country. We met with her about a month ago to see what she was all about. she has been interviewed, written articles and much more for leading midwifery magazines and such, and believes in nature and god and women giving birth. Her first "birth bag" was and still is no bigger then a diaper bag. she carries oxygen and all that too. Just simple, plain.
My wishes for this delivery are to be alone, labor in the lamp light, by myself and hubby. Being and expressing love and just going with it. I asked her about how she felt about that. being hands off. not hovering, until we need her. if a emergency arises, or if we have a question.
So today was my first appt, at 6 months or so. She has walk in hours, from 10 am on. So with babes in tow we walk into her birthing house... IT WAS FILLED! every seat had a pregnant amish lady, one with her grandmother. I felt out of place to say the least, but expected to see some plain people, just not that many. you can imagine the looks on their faces as I walk in, my hippie self, tight t shirt, fluttery capris, multiple stainless earings and birkenstocks:)
the ones that were around the corner in the other waiting room went in for their appointment and came out of the doors staring me down with a slight smile on their face... I could tell they were thinking "what in the world are YOU doing here"...
I was a little embarrassed , nervous, and yet a little part didnt really care that I was the oddball... It was reassuring to see "the midwife" I had met a month earlier, she is like the head honcho. she runs it all. a wonderful warm big woman. She asked that I move into the other waiting room so they do not skip over me by accident as we were out on her sunroom porch. So we relocate. And I feel the eyeballs of every bonnet wearing woman and baby in the place on my back. thankfully we were next. A mennonite woman and 6 week old baby sat near me and struck up a conversation. that was nice. then the other women started exchanging smiles and giggles with my little ones...
we were up next. I walk into her birthing room aka exam room for the day. sit on her freshly washed white linen bed and she asks me how I feel, takes blood pressure and so on. then they listen to the babes heartbeat. simple. warm. She says that I look good and if I have any troubles to no hesitate to call. She smiles and talks with the kids a little and says she would like to see us in 6 weeks. And that if we dont have the $25 visit fee that its okay, to not worry, we can pay next time or as we get it... with a smile and a wave we thank one another and walk out. As I write out my check the amish grandmother in her royal green and black apron, white head covering asks Piper if she can hold her and picks her up as to keep her content while I write the check. She talks to her in Dutch and they both are giggling:)
It was a nice, odd, warm, funny, ironic, out of place yet safe visit... I will see her again in 6 weeks.
It is such a change from my first go round with birth and pregnancy with my daughter Fallon, the typical cattle chute routine. As we drive home Fallon asks about the midwife and all the amish in the room, since moving up here Fallon has the biggest fascination with the plain people:) I love her! I am so happy to have this oppertunity to birth with such a experienced midwife that respects that I might not call her till after baby is born, and she is okay with that. Who knows I might want her guidance, support, strength and being with us... we will see.
what a beautiful experience, even if it was strange to walk in and feel out of place at first. i don't live in amish country, but took a train from pensylvania at midnight once.....it was me, my two year old in a sling, my rolling suitcase, my pitbull, all outside in a foggy, dimly-lit path alongside the train/train tracks and every other person getting on this train was amish, in bonnets and aprons and long dresses and long beards and i felt like i had stepped into another time, another world. it was really magical feeling. i can only imagine how simply your midwife exudes her warmth and knowledge. sounds beautiful. soak up the surrealness of it. :)
single, scholar, childbirth advocate mama + two lively, rambunctious, beautiful, insightful and whoa-spirited dds, 4.5 and 8. + a sweet chunky boy born august 7, 2011! + .....our sweet old lady dog, 10 years young. = one full cup
I love your descriptions mama, it all sounds beautiful! And I am glad that you've been able to find someone who can just let you be! If I remember in one of your previous posts, you had some issues with your previous midwife that were stressing you out... This sounds like a really beautiful fit!
The thing that I really love about your post -- how being a mother, and having that love for children, crosses cultural boundaries. It was a surprising thing to me when I became a mom, but I think it's wonderful
Wife to DH , mom to DS (4/09), and DD (8/11), and crafty and hardworking in my own right! In my parenting journey I've , , , , and. To each family their own!!
"There are words for people like me, but I don't think there are very many."
it was really awesome that the granny amish that stared me down was so eager to pick up my little one and invite play a bit. that was a little shocking but great! I think it all boiled down to . they were as surprised to see my as I was to see all of them... when it comes down to it, no matter what culture we are from we all have birthing as a common thread, giving birth to someone, pain, joy. and so on. In 6 weeks I am to go back and see her for another appt. I am excited actually to see if there are as many women there again...I also think its such a great experience for my daughter to live so close with the plain people. how cool!
Im an sure my midwife will be over the edge if she comes to the birth and sees we too live with out electric. we do it to be better stewards to the land and self sufficient , more so then religion tho... we are more alike then she may think!
I think it is awesome that your midwife is so relaxed, and understands your need to be left alone.
It is true that motherhood and the experience of becoming a mother (first time, third time or twentieth time) transcends all boundaries. As this forum has shown me, no matter where we are coming from in our lives the thing that unites us all is motherhood.
I had a really long talk with my midwife at my last appointment about my need to be left alone during labor, which I hadn't realised ahead of time the first time. She was more than OK with being hands off. She even takes her cross-stitch to births and is happy to just sit and work on that while we get o with birthing our baby. She is also happy to wait until later on in labor to come to the house too. It is such a comforting feeling when you find a midwife that understands what you need during birth, and doesn't let her own style/assumptions dominate the birth.
Lyn, wife to Rob & Mamma to "Moredcai" 12wks July 09, Aiden(6/1/10) and Seth(9/7/11) New blessing Megan(5/9/13)
That is a wonderful story. We don't live around any Amish or Mennonite communities but both of my grandparents were raised in those communities. My grandmother were so excited when I told her that I had a midwife because it reminded her of what it was like when she was growing up. She told me that she didn't know that there were midwives that practiced outside of those community. The midwife that I have is really wonderful, I had her for my first birth and now for my second. She is very hands off which I like.
I hope you get the birth that you want, your granny midwife sounds wonderful!
Lynann, I am so happy you too found a understanding midwife! It truly is a great feeling to have someone understand your needs without judgment or assumptions.YAY! I am happy for you!