S/O: What do you want to complain about today? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 1477 Old 05-15-2011, 11:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
Italiamom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 2,439
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I really LOVE the good thread along these lines.  It's great to focus on the positive.  But at the end of the day, sometimes I want to throw out a complaint or two.  I realize that a lot of mamas here have some really BIG, stressful stuff going on.  Which makes my piddly complaints feel small sometimes.  But I want a place for the piddly complaints too...

 

Please don't judge me for being a Mrs. Complainey pants.  But I've just gotta!

 

Specifically, I am slowly powering through my evening vitamin regimen before bed, and I HATE it.  I take so many pills, and tinctures, and...  BAH.  I've actually been skipping my before bed snack lately, because by the time I take all those vitamins, and all the liquid to choke them all down, my stomach is full!  So vitamins are my piddly complaint for the evening.  I guess that vitamin time does give me MDC time, but still...  I'm really looking forward to the time when I don't have an evening snack of vitamins/tinctures every day.

CrazyCatLady likes this.

Wife to DH geek.gif, mom to DS (4/09), and DD (8/11)fly-by-nursing2.gif, and crafty and hardworking in my own right!  In my parenting journey I've  delayedvax.gif, signcirc1.gif, familybed2.gif, h20homebirth.gif, andcd.gif.  To each family their own!!

 

 

"There are words for people like me, but I don't think there are very many."

Italiamom is offline  
#2 of 1477 Old 05-15-2011, 11:37 PM
 
kristandthekids's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 652
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
.
Shellia likes this.

“What is evil? Killing is evil, lying is evil, slandering is evil, abuse is evil, gossip is evil: envy is evil, hatred is evil, to cling to false doctrine is evil; all these things are evil. And what is the root of evil? Desire is the root of evil, illusion is the root of evil.”
- Buddha
kristandthekids is offline  
#3 of 1477 Old 05-16-2011, 05:16 AM
 
Baby_Cakes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: NJ
Posts: 9,884
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Italiamom View Post

Specifically, I am slowly powering through my evening vitamin regimen before bed, and I HATE it.  I take so many pills, and tinctures, and...  BAH.  I've actually been skipping my before bed snack lately, because by the time I take all those vitamins, and all the liquid to choke them all down, my stomach is full!  So vitamins are my piddly complaint for the evening.  I guess that vitamin time does give me MDC time, but still...  I'm really looking forward to the time when I don't have an evening snack of vitamins/tinctures every day.


OMG.  I am counting the WEEKS until I can stop with the 13 million supplements a day!!  I know postpartum there are a whole slew of new things to worry about and take and do, but I'm so done with the tinctures, pills, and powders!!  

 

I'm so woe is me about no frozen (or otherwise) margaritas this summer.  We've been grilling and every time I look at my sad glass of ice water, I wish it was a margarita.

 

I too wish I could poop and it wasn't such a big deal when it happens.  I miss the normalcy of pooping!! LOL!

 

I also just want to throw out a random whine that my DH is trying to lose weight and get hot for summer.  It burns me up.  He did this when I was pg with Nora too, and I know he has every single human right to want to look fantastic (and really, who am I to complain??) but man, it is tough that as I grow bigger and more unweildy, and eat yummy food and have 2nds on dinner, he turns it all down and has a protein shake.  Or fasts.  It makes me feel even more gigantic!!!  Yesterday I actually cried b/c I made whole wheat banana pancakes thinking he'd eat at least one, even plain with nothing on it, but no.  He refused and went running.  bawling.gif

 

 

 

 

 

blanquiitaa likes this.

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
Baby_Cakes is offline  
#4 of 1477 Old 05-16-2011, 05:31 AM
 
RubyLu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 179
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

My house is driving me CRAZY it's so unorganized and my husband doesn't like my type of reorganizing (which involves getting rid of old jars of nothing, broken candles, pieces of aluminum ["worth money!"], and crappy plastic toys from McDonald's). Ack! I HATE my house!!!!!!

 

 

RubyLu is offline  
#5 of 1477 Old 05-16-2011, 06:33 AM
 
LemonDrop's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 25
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by kristandthekids View Post

Really wish I could poop. redface.gif


Me too!

 

I also wish I had more energy to keep up with the toddler running around the house and making a huge mess.

 


Kirstin belly.gif, wife to wonderful husbanddh_malesling.GIF (married 08/18/07), and mom to DDdust.gif(04/18/09), angel.gif CMP (12/16/09) and expecting stork-suprise.gif Mid August 2011.
LemonDrop is offline  
#6 of 1477 Old 05-16-2011, 07:45 AM
 
kristenyostdc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Northern VA
Posts: 657
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I have lots of compaints at this point!  I'm almost 29 weeks and starting to feel VERY uncomfortable.  So my complaints are, I wish I felt like I was getting enough oxygen, I wish that my back wouldn't hurt after doing the smallest of tasks and I wish I could get one good nights sleep!!!!  I am so tired!  I just can't sleep anymore.  I go to bed around 10pm and then wake up at about 1am or 2am and then can't go back to sleep for hours!!  Ahhh, that was nice.  Thanks for creating this post!


Kristen treehugger.gif mama to Chris(15)eat.gif, Kaitlyn(10)blahblah.gif, TJ(8)sleepytime.gif and Natalie(5)thumbsuck.gif & Emily(2)diaper.gif
  
 

kristenyostdc is offline  
#7 of 1477 Old 05-16-2011, 08:15 AM
 
Emerging butterfly's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Big Sky country-golden sunsets
Posts: 1,000
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My complaint this morning is that I am really not in the mood to be a grandmother, but apparently, that is what I'm going to be. I know it sounds petty, but I really wanted to just get to enjoy my little buttercup princess without any other focus in the baby dept. Now, I feel guilty whenever I get anything for MY baby when I know that my 21 year old son and his girlfriend are in a very dire financial situation and will need help. If I had all the cash-ola in the world, it would be fine, but honestly, I DON'T. We can swing OUR baby...but his too? I don't think so. If they'd only waited a few months longer, I could pass things down to them...but, it wasn't about "waiting" ...it was unplanned. Buttercup won't even be out of her clothes before they will probably need them! (And that's only if they have a girl!)....

In addition, my son, as you all may already KNOW, is completely not ready in any way, shape, or form, to be a father. Not a good one anyway.... We met his girlfriend last night, and she was very sweet....I can totally embrace her, and want to be there for her. And...If I'm really honest, I can see that I'll need to be, because I'm not so sure my son CAN.

But boy...it burns me up. I'm wanting to be SELFISH right now. I want to think about MY baby. Not his. I want to care for MY baby. Not his. I want to raise MY baby. Not his.

And yet....life is what it is.

For some reason, my heart keeps crying because it will almost be like my daughter and their child are TWINS...and that just....ouch. Just ouch.

If my son was more emotionally competent. More mentally "there". More....anything. I think I could breathe. But......he's not.

Maybe this will help him look at himself? Maybe this will help him to take responsibility for his mental health? For his brain injury? For ANYthing?

Maybe.

Which leads me to my next gripe. It's raining. blah.

And...I'm emotional.

And.....and....and.....I wish I had a mommy that loved me.

or a daddy.

or a grandma.

At least I've got a sweet husband and some great kiddos at home....I'm luckier than many in that. So, perk up "grandma!" The sun is shining...somewhere else! I'm sure it will make it's way here....sometime around the end of august....

Because...most babies ARE born alive. Most babies are. I need that truth.


Blog in profile*Sea turtle mother to 5 boysfencing.gifguitar.gifnotes.gifblueman.gif, and a beautiful rainbow girl dust.gif!!!! married to my best friendsuperhero.gif& enjoying my pup dog2.gif.Lost our little twins *Simon&Alexander* in 2009brokenheart.gif

Emerging butterfly is offline  
#8 of 1477 Old 05-16-2011, 08:36 AM
 
lisastrickland's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Atlanta, Ga
Posts: 246
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I have the oppisite problem from most of yall... i wish i could stop pooping. i take naturally calm every night for restless legs, and it makes you poop.... a lot....

 

i too wish i could sleep and walk without being in pain...


Lisa ~ Wife to Stephen caffix.gif (5/23/04) ~ Mama to Lincoln Barneswave.gif (10/10/07), Gabriel Normanbabyf.gif(12/8/09)  and Ella Louisette baby.gif(8/14/2011)~ CMP angel.gif (12/8/08 at 8.6 weeks).

lisastrickland is offline  
#9 of 1477 Old 05-16-2011, 08:41 AM
 
jillybeans's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: in a little hole by the mountain
Posts: 3,556
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
EB, I saw that on FB. Just a huge huge HUGE hug to you mama! I have a very good friend on here (catballou) that went through the same thing a while back. She was only ttc though, when her son got pg. It was rreally hard for her, but she was able to keep her cool. She's one rad lady, you should look her up!

My complaint? We're out of half and half. It was bad enough that dh left STALE coffee in the pot, and I had to make fresh (even open a new bag) but then I went to enjoy my daily piece of bliss, and there wasn't any half n half! I was already nervous today, and that didn't help.

And I'm nervous. lol. My next cervical measurement is this afternoon, and I'm PRAYING the hypnobabies I listened to yesterday will help....not sure what will happen if it's shorter or funneled more.

Jill, mama to three fiery girlies and a sweet baby boy: Grace, 11.30.2005,  Ayla, 3.22.2008, Norah 9.5.09, Reed 8.19.11 & dfs Gage 2.29.12   angel1.gif x4
 

jillybeans is offline  
#10 of 1477 Old 05-16-2011, 09:38 AM
 
veggiemomto2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 663
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My complaint. My daughter got physical with me YET AGAIN and I ended up in L&D yesterday with cramping - most likely due to all the emotional turmoil, not the actually elbow in the stomach. I had spent the day crying and it just got worse and worse. I am more than a little sad that my eleven year old is out of control and chances are she'll have to be away from us if we want her to get better. I've never even spent a night away from her. I love her so much, but she's a hazard to all of us.

And I keep gaining weight. I'm up to 30lbs at 29 weeks.

And I have a kidney infection they found while in L&D.

Oh, and no I don't want to be on "One Born Every Minute" and looking at those cameras in my face and seeing the signs everywhere makes me feel uneasy!

Pooping daily would be awesome too!
veggiemomto2 is offline  
#11 of 1477 Old 05-16-2011, 09:41 AM
 
synepona's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Near Niagara Falls (Canada)
Posts: 1,026
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I hate to complain about having a job, but it's sort of a mess. I do home childcare, and it's only profitable when i have 3 kiddos at least 4 days a week. But I'm down to one child for the next 10 weeks. It's as much (almost more!) work to just have one child here, but only 1/3 of the income! And I can't take on anyone new, b/c who'd want to have such short term care?!

 

At least daycareboy & my son are playing nicely today ... since it's rainy & cold & they are stuck inside.


~SynEpona~
synepona is offline  
#12 of 1477 Old 05-16-2011, 09:45 AM
 
Chaika's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 482
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

I wish I could walk without limping and pain.  That would be really nice, especially since I'm trying to watch my weight gain.

 

Other than that, I'm good.


Working mom and grad student with a weird husband, a few cats, and a nifty kid!   Anton, born 8/9/11 jog.gif

Chaika is offline  
#13 of 1477 Old 05-16-2011, 10:52 AM
 
bobbinbopbop's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Southern USA
Posts: 217
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I wish I could breathe without having to think about it. I wish I didn't get out of breath from moving laundry from washer to dryer or stripping the bed. *sigh* I want to get so much done in my house before this baby comes and I don't feel like it's getting there. I am so tired of doing it by myself. 

 

I have a friend who I used to be closed to that would have helped but she is mad at me and refusing to even speak with me and that is hurting me and stressing me out when I Least need it. In her defense I hurt her very badly but I have apologized and apologized and I'm not sure what else I can do if she won't even speak to me. 

. My other good friend just got her license and a job so she can't help me like I really need. And my poor hubby works all day and lately late so he can afford me not working (which is awesome) but I need support and help more than anything. 

 

I'm seriously happy to be pregnant I really am! I'm so thrilled about this baby and the changes that will happen in my life after it's here. I just feel like I don't have enough time. 

 

:) I feel a little better now. 


 Enjoying 7+ Years of marriage with my bff/hubby. 2twins.gif SAHM to babygirl.gif Norrie.  Wehomebirth.jpgcd.gifbftoddler.gif,delayedvax.gifselectivevax.gif

We have cat.gif),dog2.gifdog2.gif. and a tree frog. 

I am a "Multicrafty"knit.gifsewmachine.gif mamma to be who blogs at: http://www.myslightlycrunchylife.blogspot.com

bobbinbopbop is offline  
#14 of 1477 Old 05-16-2011, 11:03 AM
 
Beckily's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Olympia, WA
Posts: 2,598
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by kristenyostdc View Post

I have lots of compaints at this point!  I'm almost 29 weeks and starting to feel VERY uncomfortable.  So my complaints are, I wish I felt like I was getting enough oxygen, I wish that my back wouldn't hurt after doing the smallest of tasks and I wish I could get one good nights sleep!!!!  I am so tired!  I just can't sleep anymore.  I go to bed around 10pm and then wake up at about 1am or 2am and then can't go back to sleep for hours!!  Ahhh, that was nice.  Thanks for creating this post!


I have finally figured out how to sleep. I'll share in case it might help you because OMG it was awful!

I sleep on the couch with a pillow under my head and then one under my ribs/belly. And then with either my body pillow or a big cushion for my knees and a pillow to hug. On the couch I can prop my hip up on the back and veeery nearly sleep on my back. Plus, I can use the back of the couch to help roll myself over. It's working great.

 


Becky

Married to Dusty
Mama to Charlie - born August 15th.

Waiting on number two, due March 17!

Beckily is offline  
#15 of 1477 Old 05-16-2011, 11:10 AM
 
Beckily's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Olympia, WA
Posts: 2,598
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

EB: My first thought (because I'm on your side, I don't know him) was "wow, don't you know how to use birth control?" Because that was what he charmingly said to you ;) Not very nice but gah!

 

Jilly: I really hope things have helped! We're all rooting for you!

 

 

ASM... My only complaint is my knees. They hurt. Not all the time, but when I have to get up from things - like doing laundry or feeding the cat or if I squat to pick things up.

Well. And the constant numbness in my hands and arms, but I'm getting used to that and it will go away when my blood volume returns to normal.


Becky

Married to Dusty
Mama to Charlie - born August 15th.

Waiting on number two, due March 17!

Beckily is offline  
#16 of 1477 Old 05-16-2011, 11:20 AM
 
tradmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 55
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Thanks for this thread!  I am not normally a complainer, but I have a feeling this will feel really good!

 

I'm tired of contractions all the time.

I don't like going to the hospital and getting shot up with all kinds of meds. that make me feel awful to stop the contractions.

I don't like that I have to leave my family when I spend a night in L&D.

I don't like being on bedrest and not able to do the things a mom is supposed to be doing for her children.

I'm discouraged that I'm only 27 weeks and it seems like the contractions are picking up to what they usually do when I'm 32 - 33 weeks.

I have so much to do before this baby comes and for some reason I've been in denial that it is going so fast, so I have done NOTHING.

It's hard to sleep.

My bum hurts and itches from these weekly progesterone shots and I catch myself scratching it in front of people which really makes me feel so not classy.

 

Whew!  That does feel good!!!

 

Now I can look a little at the positive.  I have a wonderful husband and children who do everything they can to help me out.  I have friends who call or email and ask what they can do to help out.

 

  But, most importantly, this little guy/girl will be worth every moment of every pain and every frustration and I wouldn't change it for the world!


Leslie
Wife to Al, Momma to DS18, DD16, DD14, DS12, DS10, DD9, DS7, DD6, DD5, DD3, DS23mos, Baby due 8/15/11and 4 angel.gifs.
novaxnocirc.gif, goorganic.jpg.
tradmom is offline  
#17 of 1477 Old 05-16-2011, 01:43 PM
 
RileyAnn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 382
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Gahh! I feel so bad for everyone. Lifes hard to handle when you're pregnant. lol

 

As for me... I'm pretty sure I have bronchitis. :(  I never get sick but when I do it lasts forever. I'm debating going to the doctor, because I'm not positive that's what it is but a friend of mine has it. I reallly don't wanna be sick. I had such a good weekend and then I woke up feeling like death AND my shower is this weekend.  I was just starting to get excited about it! 

 

I can't sleep... I flip from side to side all night which is getting harder to do. PLUS I always get really bad heartburn right when I'm trying to sleep. UGH. >:(

 

Also me and my LO are going to be sharing a room until I can afford to move out again. My mom decided to store some of her stuff in there until she gets the garage cleaned out  and my room is starting to get overwhelming. I don't mean little things either... like our old dining room table, a couple chairs, and allll her craft stuff.  So I'm trying not to be impatient because it's her house but it'd be reallly nice if it was all out of there so I could start getting the babies stuff set up and organized.

 


Riley, 21 Photographer Mom to Lilah Mae (8/13/11)
RileyAnn is offline  
#18 of 1477 Old 05-16-2011, 02:02 PM
 
egmaranian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Central California
Posts: 1,023
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I hate my job.

 

Aside from that, DH is being a butt about helping me get the nursery ready.  The room we are turning into the nursery was my office when I worked from home and it also served as a general storage room for our stuff (aka...crap) that we didn't have a place for anywhere else.  Now, we are having to find a place for all that stuff and it seems like DH isn't interested in helping at all.  When I finally snapped at him last night about it he said "well, I don't know what you want me to do about it.  I'll just go in there and throw it all away if you want"...

 

Really???  That's his answer?  I spent weeks trying to get him to decide what we are going to do with his $%&^#@% Star Wars lego constructions that he HAS to keep together and out of reach of the kiddos, but won't make room for in his side of the closet.  They have been on the top shelf in the closet of the nursery, which we had to remove so we could install the closet organizer that we bought for that room.  Finally I just moved them myself and I really don't care if he is happy with where they are. 

 

He was basically just being an ass while I was working my butt off to try and make even a little progress in the right direction.  Finally, this morning, he apologized for acting like such a jerk all weekend, but I don't believe for one second that he will be acting any differently about helping me with that room.  He's generally a great guy. Very supportive, helps with housework, is great with DS, etc.  For some reason, he is just not interested in helping me make this baby's arrival into the world as special as we made DS's.  irked.gif


~Erica~ Married to the love of my life ~ Mama to Nickolas jog.gif6/14/09 and Alexander 8/4/11 and Aiden brokenheart.gifgone too soon at 14 weeks~    
 
  fly-by-nursing1.gifselectivevax.gifnocirc.giffamilybed1.gif
egmaranian is offline  
#19 of 1477 Old 05-16-2011, 03:32 PM
 
cat13's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,766
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Sorry to hear about all your stresses... both big and small!

 

My petty-yet-annoying complaint is that my hips hurt so bad at night that it's hard to sleep. Thankfully it's only when I'm sleeping, and goes away about an hour after I wake up. I'm going to start going to prenatal yoga tonight and I'm looking into going to a chiro too. I hope it helps!


Mama Bear toddler.gif, Papa Bear treehugger.gif and Baby Bear (8/11) coolshine.gif

cat13 is offline  
#20 of 1477 Old 05-16-2011, 04:34 PM
 
katiemaeeee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Maine
Posts: 157
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Ahh, it feels good to get some of this out - totally therapeutic I think. :D

 

Allergies are officially kicking my a**. I have taken claritin or zyrtec for years and I haven't had any luck with any home remedies so far. The stuffy sinuses gives me a headache and then moves into my throat and chest and I end up coughing and gagging like I have a cold constantly! I guess I'll talk to the midwife tomorrow when I go in for the lovely glucose test.

 

Also, my home is so messy! I haven't done the dishes in a week and I desperately need to start cleaning up! I am desperately seeking some motivation.

 

And, I just realized that I am going to be needing to get a decent breast pump because I am going to have to go back to work full-time, and those suckers are SO expensive! I did find out today that as long as I get a Medela one, then I can get one used and they'll (the hospital prenatal nurse that does the home visit after the birth, I am not sure her position exactly) give me free new, clean parts for it! So, it is only an unexpected $150 instead of $250 from what I have been seeing on craigslist.

 

It is nice to know I am not alone in the complaining department. It is raining here too and it is freezing cold! After three weeks with the heat off, I gave in and called the landlord today and asked him to turn the heat back on. (I toughed it out for a while though in the cold.)

 

Lastly, I really dislike being so emotional. I catch myself taking everything personally, and it is like I can not get perspective anymore. It makes normal life so much more challenging to react to every little thing.

 

But, I am starting to really get excited about the pregnancy and mostly about the baby!! I can't wait to meet her. Its pretty fun now that I can feel her. At the same time, I am 27 weeks and 6 days, so, this pregnancy is going by so fast which is sad, scarey and, mostly, exciting! :P

 

Peace and love, Katie

 

 


Katie Mae belly.gifMama to DD1 08/11 and expecting stork-suprise.gif03/14
Momma to three cat.gif

katiemaeeee is offline  
#21 of 1477 Old 05-16-2011, 05:36 PM
 
Imprint's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 408
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

So, complaints:

 

I'm very lonely.  

 

My husband's not only working longer hours than he had been, he's very busy working on a role playing game he's been creating, as a hobby, and was supposed to finish months ago, in his off time.  He said all the time he put into it then was to get it out of the way, before the babies were born or we were close enough to have to prepare for them.  Well, now we're close and he shows no signs of being done.  He gets very angry/annoyed if interrupted, or if I ever suggest I'd like his attention, or need his help.  When I mention even my own to-do lists for the condo (as having reduced some of my stress about it, surprisingly), much less rarely suggest I'll need his help with two major projects he's known about for months, he starts to look very upset.  I have not been pressing him to help me, while I've not felt well enough to do much - thinking once I am making clear progress and obviously working hard, he'll probably feel he should join me - but I often wonder if that's true.  We've got a former office/storage room which will one day be the twins', but for now, I am assuming I'll just clean it up decently, deep-clean the whole condo, and prepare just the nook in our room where they'll sleep/have their things for the first year or two.  That, I can do by myself.

 

Did I mention I really don't feel well (breathless, achy, fatigued, with lots of back and low abdominal discomfort), and don't hold up to effort?  Or that I seem to need to sleep 10-12 hours, instead of 7-9, now?  Or that my husband really doesn't want me to spend any money, but there's a lot we NEED for our babies?  He'll say to do what I have to, but if you could see his face, you'd know why I so hope some of our friends and family will feel a warm excitement and WANT to send us things, for these fairly miraculous little babies.  I am longing to be able to buy them clothes - just an outfit or two each, that I got to choose - but am trying to tell myself I can do that, if I just wait and see what we're given, that I really will get to buy my babies a few things, myself....

 

He's solicitous enough, but my husband's excitement over the babies seems to have dried up.  Maybe I'm wrong, but I just don't see it.  And those who get back rubs? Or any other kind?  I would love one!  Any. My feet, my back, my hips, they all hurt, and I do what I can.  I do my yoga, I stretch, I take warm baths, I try to rub them.... but I could use help, or a feeling anyone wanted to give me comfort.  In fact, I did say - gently - I'd love even a brief massage any time he wasn't busy and thought of it.  (Trying not to press.)  But the only time I've had anything of the kind was in our one-time class on comfort measures for labor, when all the husbands and partners were roped in.  (Yes, I'm grateful he went with me.  Yes, I am lucky to have a husband, a good, decent husband.  But why can he not, just once in a while, respond with more than asking if I'm okay?  It would help so much.  And he's strong, he has no problems to interfere - no back issues, no joint issues, no discomfort with touch, no job that keeps him far away.....)  

 

I stupidly spent almost all the money a dear family friend sent for my birthday on beautiful yarn and supplies, to knit each baby a cardigan, hat, and booties for their first autumn.  I could have bought a sewing machine and shoes that actually fit me for that amount, but even though I have only the most elementary knitting skills, I wanted so much to make something for them, that I spent all that money and let the shop wind the yarn into balls, only to find out I may have gotten the wrong thing, aside from maybe making a stupid decision - now that I can't return it.  (Yes, I'll find different patterns if I have to, ask for help, just do my best...... and I know it's not important.)

 

I am very sad not to be able to go to the baby blessing/prayer shower that's going to be held for us in my hometown.  Now, I know it's not reasonable to want to go.  I do know that.  I have not complained about it.  But it still makes me cry - again, not when my husband is home, to see or hear and feel badly about it.  I swear, I haven't said ANYTHING to make him think I regret not being able to go, once he said I really couldn't.  I have not acted sad or resentful - truly.  But I am sobbing now, abjectly sobbing.  I can't quite explain why I am so sad about it.  It's wonderful there'll be any sort of parties for my babies, even if I can't go, even though for so many years I was very logically afraid I'd never have any.  It's wonderful of my friends here to want to have one, even though it will be very small.  It's not even true that I won't see my family, since my mother will try to come in the summer, near our EDD, and my sister before.

 

My sister is going to come visit me to 'help get ready', which is wonderful and incredibly kind.  But she can't come till my mother can watch her three older kids, during the day, which means not till my mom's done teaching for the year, and THAT means - not till I am likely to be even more tired and unwieldy and closer to impending babies than I am, now.  I am sure it will be wonderful, I am very grateful, but it feels like it will be too late.

 

Plus, I need to clean and prepare for visitors.

 

I want to walk, I want to clean, I want to get ready for my babies, but all of that is getting very hard, yet the time is flying by me; and I feel very much alone.  My happiness in general, and my good attitude about my weight gain (which hasn't gone up any at all) are going.  Seeing pictures of my wedding, and a passport photo from my honeymoon (only August of '09) make me feel huge and ugly.  (Many people carry weight much better than I do.  This is a specific comment about myself, only!)  

 

-------------

 

EmergingButterfly, it has to be hard to be torn between your sweet new baby, and your grand-baby.  For many reasons, I can see why that would be hard.  I'm glad at least the girlfriend seems like someone you can, indeed, befriend.  As for the parent(s), or grandparents to love you, I can only say, I'm terribly sorry; but the failure to do so is clearly not because you are unlovable.  

 

Sympathies to everyone on vitamins/supplements (which I am not enjoying, either) irregularity; pain, especially disrupting sleep; and messy homes (as mine is), among other things!

 

Riley, best wishes on your mom deciding she wants to move everything to give you room for baby girl!  

 

Everyone else:  Apologies.  I complained so long, I wasted all the time in which I could have replied to you!  greensad.gif  


Julie, wife to my dearest friend reading.gif reading.gif since August 2009.  Mama to babyboy.gif Oliver & Lydia babygirl.gif, born August 2011.  Enjoying: slingtwin.gif and femalesling.GIFdh_malesling.GIFnursex2.gif 2twins.gifcd.gif, and looking forward to making baby food carrot.gif, and continuing to watch my wee ones grow  babyf.gifbabyf.gif.  

Imprint is offline  
#22 of 1477 Old 05-16-2011, 09:35 PM
 
Beckily's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Olympia, WA
Posts: 2,598
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Imprint View Post

So, complaints:

 

I'm very lonely.  

 

My husband's not only working longer hours than he had been, he's very busy working on a role playing game he's been creating, as a hobby, and was supposed to finish months ago, in his off time.  He said all the time he put into it then was to get it out of the way, before the babies were born or we were close enough to have to prepare for them.  Well, now we're close and he shows no signs of being done.  He gets very angry/annoyed if interrupted, or if I ever suggest I'd like his attention, or need his help.  When I mention even my own to-do lists for the condo (as having reduced some of my stress about it, surprisingly), much less rarely suggest I'll need his help with two major projects he's known about for months, he starts to look very upset.  I have not been pressing him to help me, while I've not felt well enough to do much - thinking once I am making clear progress and obviously working hard, he'll probably feel he should join me - but I often wonder if that's true.  We've got a former office/storage room which will one day be the twins', but for now, I am assuming I'll just clean it up decently, deep-clean the whole condo, and prepare just the nook in our room where they'll sleep/have their things for the first year or two.  That, I can do by myself.

 

Did I mention I really don't feel well (breathless, achy, fatigued, with lots of back and low abdominal discomfort), and don't hold up to effort?  Or that I seem to need to sleep 10-12 hours, instead of 7-9, now?  Or that my husband really doesn't want me to spend any money, but there's a lot we NEED for our babies?  He'll say to do what I have to, but if you could see his face, you'd know why I so hope some of our friends and family will feel a warm excitement and WANT to send us things, for these fairly miraculous little babies.  I am longing to be able to buy them clothes - just an outfit or two each, that I got to choose - but am trying to tell myself I can do that, if I just wait and see what we're given, that I really will get to buy my babies a few things, myself....

 

He's solicitous enough, but my husband's excitement over the babies seems to have dried up.  Maybe I'm wrong, but I just don't see it.  And those who get back rubs? Or any other kind?  I would love one!  Any. My feet, my back, my hips, they all hurt, and I do what I can.  I do my yoga, I stretch, I take warm baths, I try to rub them.... but I could use help, or a feeling anyone wanted to give me comfort.  In fact, I did say - gently - I'd love even a brief massage any time he wasn't busy and thought of it.  (Trying not to press.)  But the only time I've had anything of the kind was in our one-time class on comfort measures for labor, when all the husbands and partners were roped in.  (Yes, I'm grateful he went with me.  Yes, I am lucky to have a husband, a good, decent husband.  But why can he not, just once in a while, respond with more than asking if I'm okay?  It would help so much.  And he's strong, he has no problems to interfere - no back issues, no joint issues, no discomfort with touch, no job that keeps him far away.....)  

 

I stupidly spent almost all the money a dear family friend sent for my birthday on beautiful yarn and supplies, to knit each baby a cardigan, hat, and booties for their first autumn.  I could have bought a sewing machine and shoes that actually fit me for that amount, but even though I have only the most elementary knitting skills, I wanted so much to make something for them, that I spent all that money and let the shop wind the yarn into balls, only to find out I may have gotten the wrong thing, aside from maybe making a stupid decision - now that I can't return it.  (Yes, I'll find different patterns if I have to, ask for help, just do my best...... and I know it's not important.)

 

I am very sad not to be able to go to the baby blessing/prayer shower that's going to be held for us in my hometown.  Now, I know it's not reasonable to want to go.  I do know that.  I have not complained about it.  But it still makes me cry - again, not when my husband is home, to see or hear and feel badly about it.  I swear, I haven't said ANYTHING to make him think I regret not being able to go, once he said I really couldn't.  I have not acted sad or resentful - truly.  But I am sobbing now, abjectly sobbing.  I can't quite explain why I am so sad about it.  It's wonderful there'll be any sort of parties for my babies, even if I can't go, even though for so many years I was very logically afraid I'd never have any.  It's wonderful of my friends here to want to have one, even though it will be very small.  It's not even true that I won't see my family, since my mother will try to come in the summer, near our EDD, and my sister before.

 

My sister is going to come visit me to 'help get ready', which is wonderful and incredibly kind.  But she can't come till my mother can watch her three older kids, during the day, which means not till my mom's done teaching for the year, and THAT means - not till I am likely to be even more tired and unwieldy and closer to impending babies than I am, now.  I am sure it will be wonderful, I am very grateful, but it feels like it will be too late.

 

Plus, I need to clean and prepare for visitors.

 

I want to walk, I want to clean, I want to get ready for my babies, but all of that is getting very hard, yet the time is flying by me; and I feel very much alone.  My happiness in general, and my good attitude about my weight gain (which hasn't gone up any at all) are going.  Seeing pictures of my wedding, and a passport photo from my honeymoon (only August of '09) make me feel huge and ugly.  (Many people carry weight much better than I do.  This is a specific comment about myself, only!)  

 

-------------

 

EmergingButterfly, it has to be hard to be torn between your sweet new baby, and your grand-baby.  For many reasons, I can see why that would be hard.  I'm glad at least the girlfriend seems like someone you can, indeed, befriend.  As for the parent(s), or grandparents to love you, I can only say, I'm terribly sorry; but the failure to do so is clearly not because you are unlovable.  

 

Sympathies to everyone on vitamins/supplements (which I am not enjoying, either) irregularity; pain, especially disrupting sleep; and messy homes (as mine is), among other things!

 

Riley, best wishes on your mom deciding she wants to move everything to give you room for baby girl!  

 

Everyone else:  Apologies.  I complained so long, I wasted all the time in which I could have replied to you!  greensad.gif  



You wasted no time and there is no need to apologize. Sounds like you are going through a lot! Vent, that's what we're hear for!

 

My fiance is going through a similar thing, I think, where he is throwing himself into work so that it is DONE and he can have time off when the baby gets here. I'd still like him around more and I'd like to have him more involved in the practice for the birth and such.

You sound reasonable and like you are asking for reasonable accommodation. Hopefully he'll soon pull his head out and help you.

 

 


Becky

Married to Dusty
Mama to Charlie - born August 15th.

Waiting on number two, due March 17!

Beckily is offline  
#23 of 1477 Old 05-16-2011, 10:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
Italiamom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 2,439
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Imprint View Post

Everyone else:  Apologies.  I complained so long, I wasted all the time in which I could have replied to you!  greensad.gif  


Sometimes, you've just gotta get it out.  I'm LOVING the "good" thread, because even on crappy days I've been trying to think of positive things to write.  But I also wanted a general complaint thread.  Writing things out can be tremendously theraputic, be they piddly things (like the vitamins I'm choking down between keystrokes), or really big things like family drama, loneliness, or partner issues.  It can also be nice to know you're not alone in big and small issues.

 

DS is just driving me crazy.  All day long, all he does is try to get into things he can't have.  And I know the baby can hear me snapping, and probably feel my tension as I lift my heavy toddler to the next room for time out.  My life involves so much heavy lifting, and I'm so stressed about it.  I don't know how I'm going to manage at 1 week postpartum when DH has to go back to work.  Just trying to change DS's diaper is an ordeal every single time.  I have to carry him kicking and screaming across the house, lift him up onto the changing table, put one leg over him usually (which is getting REALLY hard to do) to keep him from rolling while I scramble to change him as he tries to kick me, flailing, grabbing anything he can to avoid being laid down.  And if he didn't fight?  It would be so quick and gentle to just pop on a new clean diaper.  Easy peasy.  But everything is a fight with him.  "No" means absolutely nothing.  He'll look at me and then immediately do what I just said don't do.  Over and over.  I try to be so gentle with my voice, because I know baby can hear me, and if I'm gentle at all, he won't listen at all.

 

Sigh.

 

I remember when DS was about 4 months old, someone telling me, "oh, it just gets harder."  And I wanted to shoot myself, because with DS's sleep issues I was exhausted.  I didn't understand how it could possibly be harder.  But here we are.  And I shudder to think how miserable I'm going to be come September when I have another baby who probably won't sleep anywhere but my bed, and a toddler who is hell bent on destroying my house/injuring himself.  Bleh.


Wife to DH geek.gif, mom to DS (4/09), and DD (8/11)fly-by-nursing2.gif, and crafty and hardworking in my own right!  In my parenting journey I've  delayedvax.gif, signcirc1.gif, familybed2.gif, h20homebirth.gif, andcd.gif.  To each family their own!!

 

 

"There are words for people like me, but I don't think there are very many."

Italiamom is offline  
#24 of 1477 Old 05-16-2011, 11:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
Italiamom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 2,439
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I am also deeply pissed that the Earth Mama Bottom Balm doesn't come in a larger size.  After getting hemmeroids for the first time in my life (5 months of not being able to take a normal poop will do that to you, who knew?), I am going through my little 2oz jar at an alarming rate.  And while I had the foresight to order this one through Vitacost, I know that once I give birth and I'm basically bathing in it, that I will inevitably have to pay full price for that TINY 2 oz. jar.  Why can they not make a 4 oz. size?  Or a 10 oz. size?  Why do they not just make a mason jar size?  WHY???


Wife to DH geek.gif, mom to DS (4/09), and DD (8/11)fly-by-nursing2.gif, and crafty and hardworking in my own right!  In my parenting journey I've  delayedvax.gif, signcirc1.gif, familybed2.gif, h20homebirth.gif, andcd.gif.  To each family their own!!

 

 

"There are words for people like me, but I don't think there are very many."

Italiamom is offline  
#25 of 1477 Old 05-17-2011, 02:56 AM
 
ursusarctos's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,498
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'm just grumpy. I feel this underlying current of crankiness and I don't know where it's coming from. I'm eating well, getting enough sleep, DH is very kind. I have it made. But everything is getting on my nerves. irked.gif It's like PMS.

 

My sympathies are with everyone who actually has something to complain about... to the extent that my irritability lets me be sympathetic. Sigh.


Me treehugger.gif and DH caffix.gif and sweet baby DD heartbeat.gif born 08/2011.

ursusarctos is offline  
#26 of 1477 Old 05-17-2011, 03:06 AM
 
ursusarctos's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,498
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

EB, your son sounds a lot like my younger brother (who is 22, and thankfully never did get his abusive girlfriend pregnant when he was 18 as we all feared). Hugs to you. You will get through this. And your daughter will have an automatic playmate her age - I never had that, all my cousins (not to speak of aunts and uncles!) lived across the country and we were not in touch with them. I think it's so wonderful that you will have a close extended family. YOU are going to be the wonderful mother and MIL that you missed out on. Your children and their partners are so lucky! hug2.gif


Me treehugger.gif and DH caffix.gif and sweet baby DD heartbeat.gif born 08/2011.

ursusarctos is offline  
#27 of 1477 Old 05-17-2011, 08:18 AM
 
Lynann's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Sunny South Florida
Posts: 1,357
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

What a great idea to give everyone a place to vent.

 

I feel like I have it pretty easy compared to everyone else here. My one big frustration right now is getting my wonderful DH to show more interest in learning how to better prepare for this birth. We went into DS's birth totally unprepared, although we didn't realise that until after it was over. We spent the money on an at home study kit, which is so full of wonderful stuff I am totally in awe of it, and wish we had it before DS was born. DH knows how important this is. He will acknowledge it verbally. Yet I have to keep asking him when he is going to be available and not overtired so we can work through it. We had even agreed to doing it during DS's afternoon nap on Sundays, but it is so not happening.

 

I know that as the sole provider of income DH has a lot on his plate. He has a stressful job in which he has to keep his mind focused on tiny details, and lots of them. If he makes a mistake it could mean a fighter jet falling out of the sky some day. I understand his job, and the pressure, and the stress, and the crazy short deadlines, and the long commute on one of the most dangerous stretches of I-95 in the country. I do understand his life, and married him understanding that life. I knew what I was getting into. But is one hour, once a week to prepare for our home birth really too much to ask for?

 

I thought being able to go through the material at home, at our own pace, when it suits us, without having to arrange a baby sitter, would be easier for us to fit in. Seems like I'm wrong. If we had to GO to a class once a week there would be no question of finding the time. Instead every week I have to do the same song and dance to get DH to make some time to go through this material. And most of the sessions are only 20-30 minutes. Then when he does agree and we sit down together to go through it he starts to fall asleep on me. He can't even stay focused on this stuff for 5 minutes before he starts to nod off.

 

In so many ways he is a wonderful man, an excellent father, and an incredible husband. I really can't sing his praises enough, except for this one thing. And it is a big thing. Being unprepared last time led to 37 hours of labor that only ended because I had a c/s. I never want to go through that ever again. Studying this material is to prevent a repeat of our last birth. I am confident I can have a straight forward birth this time. But I need DH to be just as prepared as I am. I can't do this material alone, and still have it be as effective. He has to know how to provide the support I know I'm going to need to get through this next birth. I just don't always understand why he doesn't understand just how important this is, to me, and for us. I know he wants to be supportive, he just has x, y & z he needs to complete first before he can free up some space in his head to deal with this. Meanwhile the clock is ticking and we get another week closer to this birth without being prepared for it.


Lynslingboy.gif, wife to Robtrekkie.gif & Mamma to angel.gif "Moredcai" 12wks July 09, Aiden(6/1/10)banana.gif and Seth(9/7/11)babyf.gif hbac.gif  New blessing Megan(5/9/13)hearts.gifuc.jpg

Lynann is offline  
#28 of 1477 Old 05-17-2011, 09:31 AM
 
Beckily's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Olympia, WA
Posts: 2,598
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Lynn, yes!

We have the classes Monday and Dusty is always there, but he's starting to pull away about it. We're suppose to practice every night and he's always very busy.

His main resistance is that he's asked to touch me and whisper a trigger to help me go deeper into hypnosis, or use affirmations or read scrips and he doesn't like to do that in front of people. He does it fine at home and he says he'll do fine at the birth because that's different than class.. but they don't work if they're not practiced, that's the point.

This is the easy part. I'm not in labor, it's all relaxed, we can play around with things to make them more comfortable. But I want to have it so normal and well-used that when I AM in labor, we've done it so many times that it all comes naturally and it's not something we have to think about it at all.

 

Good luck with yours :) Do you think maybe you could tell him that you will now HAVE a weekly class, and set aside the time at the same time every week. Maybe even go somewhere to do it? It really does help to have to go somewhere.


Becky

Married to Dusty
Mama to Charlie - born August 15th.

Waiting on number two, due March 17!

Beckily is offline  
#29 of 1477 Old 05-17-2011, 10:33 AM
 
greencarnation's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: VA
Posts: 628
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

*deep breath*

 

So, my right boobs hurts!  I am getting more colostrum that usual, so I assume that is why.  I can't lay on my right side, because his feet are still there.  I have been doing all the spinning babies tricks to try and get him to move.  I don't care if it is head down or breech right now, just not sideways!  Hubby wants me to call my midwife, but from everything I have read, it's normal at 26 weeks.

 

My FIL gave us the rest of rent, but we just owe again in two weeks.  The job my husband supposedly got keep putting him off for two weeks now.  I doubt they are going to need him.  I think the odds of getting work myself are about 0 by now.  No one will want a girl in her third trimester!  I wish I knew of some legit WAH things, but I don't.  I tried to get in with some more adult work from home, but nothing yet.  You'd think it would be easier to find that kind of work, but apparently the economy is bad everywhere!  I have a few shoots I am trying to pin down, but it's taking forever!

 

Hubby has insomnia so bad that he is pretty much up all night and asleep all day.  He refuses to take melatonin, but I seriously want to just slip him some! :P

 

 


Wifey (23) and Hubby (23) since 07/08.  Enjoying DS baby.gif born 8/6/11!
 
  bfinfant.giffamilybed1.gif nocirc.gif femalesling.GIF fuzmalesling.gif cd.gif !!!
 

greencarnation is offline  
#30 of 1477 Old 05-17-2011, 12:25 PM
 
Emerging butterfly's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Big Sky country-golden sunsets
Posts: 1,000
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillybeans View Post

EB, I saw that on FB. Just a huge huge HUGE hug to you mama! I have a very good friend on here (catballou) that went through the same thing a while back. She was only ttc though, when her son got pg. It was rreally hard for her, but she was able to keep her cool. She's one rad lady, you should look her up!


My complaint? We're out of half and half. It was bad enough that dh left STALE coffee in the pot, and I had to make fresh (even open a new bag) but then I went to enjoy my daily piece of bliss, and there wasn't any half n half! I was already nervous today, and that didn't help.

And I'm nervous. lol. My next cervical measurement is this afternoon, and I'm PRAYING the hypnobabies I listened to yesterday will help....not sure what will happen if it's shorter or funneled more.
Thank you...it really IS a sucky situation. Last night, I was trying to explain to DH how I felt about it and he said "hey...you don't HAVE to do anything for them, you CAN be totally "selfish" if that's what you want to call taking care of your own emotional needs...that's what DS wants ANYWAY! I felt this big weight lift...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckily View Post

EB: My first thought (because I'm on your side, I don't know him) was "wow, don't you know how to use birth control?" Because that was what he charmingly said to you wink1.gif Not very nice but gah!

 

Jilly: I really hope things have helped! We're all rooting for you!

 

 

ASM... My only complaint is my knees. They hurt. Not all the time, but when I have to get up from things - like doing laundry or feeding the cat or if I squat to pick things up.

Well. And the constant numbness in my hands and arms, but I'm getting used to that and it will go away when my blood volume returns to normal.

YES! I totally thought this when he told me! I was pretty upset because I've been VERY open and honest with my boys about birth control...and it turned out that, no. He isn't "sure" if he did because he was "a little drunk". Great. nice. wonderful. In other words. "No mom...I completely ignored your advice once again." He has a head injury because he ignored my plea to wear a helmet. Now...he's a father because he didn't helmet the OTHER end. idiot.

Sorry...don't mean to be vicious....but, I didn't say it to HIM...I'm just venting. eyesroll.gif
Quote:
Originally Posted by Imprint View Post

So, complaints:

 

I'm very lonely.  

 

My husband's not only working longer hours than he had been, he's very busy working on a role playing game he's been creating, as a hobby, and was supposed to finish months ago, in his off time.  He said all the time he put into it then was to get it out of the way, before the babies were born or we were close enough to have to prepare for them.  Well, now we're close and he shows no signs of being done.  He gets very angry/annoyed if interrupted, or if I ever suggest I'd like his attention, or need his help.  When I mention even my own to-do lists for the condo (as having reduced some of my stress about it, surprisingly), much less rarely suggest I'll need his help with two major projects he's known about for months, he starts to look very upset.  I have not been pressing him to help me, while I've not felt well enough to do much - thinking once I am making clear progress and obviously working hard, he'll probably feel he should join me - but I often wonder if that's true.  We've got a former office/storage room which will one day be the twins', but for now, I am assuming I'll just clean it up decently, deep-clean the whole condo, and prepare just the nook in our room where they'll sleep/have their things for the first year or two.  That, I can do by myself.

 

Did I mention I really don't feel well (breathless, achy, fatigued, with lots of back and low abdominal discomfort), and don't hold up to effort?  Or that I seem to need to sleep 10-12 hours, instead of 7-9, now?  Or that my husband really doesn't want me to spend any money, but there's a lot we NEED for our babies?  He'll say to do what I have to, but if you could see his face, you'd know why I so hope some of our friends and family will feel a warm excitement and WANT to send us things, for these fairly miraculous little babies.  I am longing to be able to buy them clothes - just an outfit or two each, that I got to choose - but am trying to tell myself I can do that, if I just wait and see what we're given, that I really will get to buy my babies a few things, myself....

 

He's solicitous enough, but my husband's excitement over the babies seems to have dried up.  Maybe I'm wrong, but I just don't see it.  And those who get back rubs? Or any other kind?  I would love one!  Any. My feet, my back, my hips, they all hurt, and I do what I can.  I do my yoga, I stretch, I take warm baths, I try to rub them.... but I could use help, or a feeling anyone wanted to give me comfort.  In fact, I did say - gently - I'd love even a brief massage any time he wasn't busy and thought of it.  (Trying not to press.)  But the only time I've had anything of the kind was in our one-time class on comfort measures for labor, when all the husbands and partners were roped in.  (Yes, I'm grateful he went with me.  Yes, I am lucky to have a husband, a good, decent husband.  But why can he not, just once in a while, respond with more than asking if I'm okay?  It would help so much.  And he's strong, he has no problems to interfere - no back issues, no joint issues, no discomfort with touch, no job that keeps him far away.....)  

 

I stupidly spent almost all the money a dear family friend sent for my birthday on beautiful yarn and supplies, to knit each baby a cardigan, hat, and booties for their first autumn.  I could have bought a sewing machine and shoes that actually fit me for that amount, but even though I have only the most elementary knitting skills, I wanted so much to make something for them, that I spent all that money and let the shop wind the yarn into balls, only to find out I may have gotten the wrong thing, aside from maybe making a stupid decision - now that I can't return it.  (Yes, I'll find different patterns if I have to, ask for help, just do my best...... and I know it's not important.)

 

I am very sad not to be able to go to the baby blessing/prayer shower that's going to be held for us in my hometown.  Now, I know it's not reasonable to want to go.  I do know that.  I have not complained about it.  But it still makes me cry - again, not when my husband is home, to see or hear and feel badly about it.  I swear, I haven't said ANYTHING to make him think I regret not being able to go, once he said I really couldn't.  I have not acted sad or resentful - truly.  But I am sobbing now, abjectly sobbing.  I can't quite explain why I am so sad about it.  It's wonderful there'll be any sort of parties for my babies, even if I can't go, even though for so many years I was very logically afraid I'd never have any.  It's wonderful of my friends here to want to have one, even though it will be very small.  It's not even true that I won't see my family, since my mother will try to come in the summer, near our EDD, and my sister before.

 

My sister is going to come visit me to 'help get ready', which is wonderful and incredibly kind.  But she can't come till my mother can watch her three older kids, during the day, which means not till my mom's done teaching for the year, and THAT means - not till I am likely to be even more tired and unwieldy and closer to impending babies than I am, now.  I am sure it will be wonderful, I am very grateful, but it feels like it will be too late.

 

Plus, I need to clean and prepare for visitors.

 

I want to walk, I want to clean, I want to get ready for my babies, but all of that is getting very hard, yet the time is flying by me; and I feel very much alone.  My happiness in general, and my good attitude about my weight gain (which hasn't gone up any at all) are going.  Seeing pictures of my wedding, and a passport photo from my honeymoon (only August of '09) make me feel huge and ugly.  (Many people carry weight much better than I do.  This is a specific comment about myself, only!)  

 


 

EmergingButterfly, it has to be hard to be torn between your sweet new baby, and your grand-baby.  For many reasons, I can see why that would be hard.  I'm glad at least the girlfriend seems like someone you can, indeed, befriend.  As for the parent(s), or grandparents to love you, I can only say, I'm terribly sorry; but the failure to do so is clearly not because you are unlovable.  

 

Sympathies to everyone on vitamins/supplements (which I am not enjoying, either) irregularity; pain, especially disrupting sleep; and messy homes (as mine is), among other things!

 

Riley, best wishes on your mom deciding she wants to move everything to give you room for baby girl!  

 

Everyone else:  Apologies.  I complained so long, I wasted all the time in which I could have replied to you!  greensad.gif  


Thanks... I just wanted to tell you that when my husband was writing his book "Being Ourself", which took TEN years to complete...I often felt sad that it was taking so much time, mixed with pride that he was really doing it! But...wow...all the TIME. Since I became pregnant, we started having more issues about his band...I hate his band. Don't get me wrong...I LOVE his drumming, he's truly an amazing musician. I just hate his band. I wish he could drum with other people...his band mates are complete idiots. Seriously. total losers. total. losers. It makes me mad that my great guy treats these stupid selfish bastards as "brothers" when they just crap all over him and his family. I asked him to quit the band...told him I couldn't stand it. I feel horrible, but honestly, I just can't stand it anymore. It's such a time drain, money drain, energy drain and emotion drain. For our whole family, INCLUDING DH. He agreed...but I know he's sad about it. He loves to play...drumming is in his very core...it's his release...but man, I don't get a release either. And certainly not for 12 hours every few days. This weekend, they were gone from 3 to 3! It sucked. He hated it too....his band mates are such drunkards. ANYWAY...just to say I understand feeling neglected when other projects take priority. It's hard to be supportive of your guy AND yourself sometimes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ursusarctos View Post

EB, your son sounds a lot like my younger brother (who is 22, and thankfully never did get his abusive girlfriend pregnant when he was 18 as we all feared). Hugs to you. You will get through this. And your daughter will have an automatic playmate her age - I never had that, all my cousins (not to speak of aunts and uncles!) lived across the country and we were not in touch with them. I think it's so wonderful that you will have a close extended family. YOU are going to be the wonderful mother and MIL that you missed out on. Your children and their partners are so lucky! hug2.gif


I'm only worried that her "automatic playmate" won't be raised like a child that I'd want my daughter to play with! (isn't that SUCH a snobby statement?!) I'm really wary of assuming kids are o.k. playmates, just because they are related. (My cousin was pretty...uh....well...let's just say she had it worse than I did...and that's pretty bad.) I'm going to focus some really positive education toward the mama...because in the end, i think it's going to be HER that defines her baby's reality. My son? Well...maybe he'll shape up for his child. Maybe.

My gripe today is this. I have a horrid painful boil on my inner thigh that gets rubbed every time I walk. OUCH! It is so gross and ugly and painful and I have NO idea why I have such a nasty thing on my leg....other than stress????? Anyway...I've been putting tea tree oil on it, which is soothing...but still...it's all inflamed and nasty and reaaaaaalllllly ugly. And...it's hot. And...it's all raised and awful. And....it's gross.

demon.gif


Blog in profile*Sea turtle mother to 5 boysfencing.gifguitar.gifnotes.gifblueman.gif, and a beautiful rainbow girl dust.gif!!!! married to my best friendsuperhero.gif& enjoying my pup dog2.gif.Lost our little twins *Simon&Alexander* in 2009brokenheart.gif

Emerging butterfly is offline  
Reply

Tags
Problems Problems Confessions Of An Agony Aunt , Problem Solver Guide For Students With Adhd Ready To Use Interventions For Elementary And Secondary , How To Deal With Problems Benefits Of Single Parenting

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off