Co-sleeping convincing - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 27 Old 06-19-2011, 08:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
HawaiianBlesing's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Sierras
Posts: 686
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

So DH is a paramedic and came home from work yesterday to tell me that there will be no way in h-e- double hockey sticks that we will be co-sleeping.  One of the guys on his shift went on a call where the dad rolled over and suffocated one of the babies.  It was a set of twins.

I tried to explain to him that there were probably extenuating circumstances that caused this to happen and that there are "rules" to safe co-sleeping.

 

I'm frustrated!  Sorry just needed to vent!

 


Becky, homebirth.jpg momma to Rafe 8/2/2011,  wife to Sky & mom to our  dog2.gif   dog2.gifcorgis. 

HawaiianBlesing is offline  
#2 of 27 Old 06-19-2011, 08:51 PM
 
greencarnation's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: VA
Posts: 628
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Would he consider a co-sleeper or a little bed next to yours?  That is how my Hubby and I are compromising.


Wifey (23) and Hubby (23) since 07/08.  Enjoying DS baby.gif born 8/6/11!
 
  bfinfant.giffamilybed1.gif nocirc.gif femalesling.GIF fuzmalesling.gif cd.gif !!!
 

greencarnation is offline  
#3 of 27 Old 06-19-2011, 09:45 PM
 
Italiamom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 2,439
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Awww, I'm sorry Hawaiian Blessing greensad.gif  It's hard to compromise on stuff like this.  I think the idea of a cosleeper is a really great "at first" compromise.  Studies do still show a lot of the same great benefits with cosleeping as with bedsharing -- the cosleeper right next to you still helps baby to regulate breathing, still helps baby to feel more secure and less alone, still helps to reduce the incidence of SIDS...  I know it's probably not what you want to hear.  I'd feel pretty crushed too if DH were saying no to something important to me.

 

Although, I would make the compromise for now, and hold on the possibility that it will probably change (in your favor).  The realities of parenting are that it can actually be really, really difficult to keep baby OUT of your bed.  You're tired, daddy is tired, you fall asleep nursing, daddy falls asleep with baby on his chest, or baby flat out won't sleep in the co-sleeper.  Your DH is probably standing firm now, but at 3:30 in the morning when you've both been trying to get baby to sleep in that co-sleeper (gently, of course) for several hours, THEN is the time to gently, lovingly point out, hey, there are safe ways to share a bed.

 

Parents make lots of plans.  I was the opposite of you!  I NEVER wanted my DS to sleep IN my bed.  I only wanted him next to the bed, in his co-sleeper.  But as a parent, I was pretty quickly faced with a choice.  I could follow my kiddo's cues and compromise on what I wanted (and everyone got more sleep), or I could have stuck to my guns and gotten WAY less sleep.  In the middle of the night, I'm guessing your DH will crack and do what he needs to do so that everyone gets more sleep.

 

In the meantime, I'd try to start compiling some articles on safe co-sleeping for him.  I wouldn't push the issue too much.  Give him time to cool off about it, and try not to worry too much.  I know a whole, whole lot of parents who said, "my baby will never be in my bed."  And even though none of those parents are crunchy in any way, shape, or form -- ALL of them ended up having their LOs sleep in their beds sometimes.


Wife to DH geek.gif, mom to DS (4/09), and DD (8/11)fly-by-nursing2.gif, and crafty and hardworking in my own right!  In my parenting journey I've  delayedvax.gif, signcirc1.gif, familybed2.gif, h20homebirth.gif, andcd.gif.  To each family their own!!

 

 

"There are words for people like me, but I don't think there are very many."

Italiamom is offline  
#4 of 27 Old 06-19-2011, 09:50 PM
 
karalynnskies's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Indiana
Posts: 442
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'm sorry. Everyone has a horror story they have heard when it comes to co-sleeping. My dh is also nervous about it. He found this http://www.amazon.com/First-Years-Secure-Sleeper-Colors/dp/B00012CHFI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1308545177&sr=8-1 and said if we used it he would feel more comfortable. Maybe you can get him on board that way. Have you let him read any articles or information on how co-sleeping can be safe and beneficial? I hope you guys can come to a compromise.


Wife to N for 6 years, mama to jog.gif Jude 08/11, angel.gif 03/13, angel1.gif 09/13
karalynnskies is offline  
#5 of 27 Old 06-19-2011, 10:21 PM
 
earth-mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Fort Collins, CO
Posts: 556
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

My DP was pretty nervous about co-sleeping with DD when she was born.  He was worried that he would roll over on her.  We talked about it and also got a co-sleeper.  DD did use the co-sleeper some, but ultimately she slept in the bed with us.  For a long time I kept her between the co-sleeper and myself, so the DP would not have to worry about rolling over on her (I was not worried about this actually happening).  As she got bigger he was no longer worried about it.  He is not at all worried about co-sleeping with #2.  

 

Also, it was one of those things that I was somewhat non-negotiable about--being that I was the one nursing DD numerous times a night and sometimes all night almost continuously.  The more sleep I got the better winky.gif


Partner  partners.gif(10 years) Mother to Lily hearts.gif (4 years), Jonas babyboy.gif (1.5 years),  1 dog , and 1 cat 

 
 
 
     

earth-mama is offline  
#6 of 27 Old 06-19-2011, 11:10 PM
 
kristandthekids's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 652
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
.

“What is evil? Killing is evil, lying is evil, slandering is evil, abuse is evil, gossip is evil: envy is evil, hatred is evil, to cling to false doctrine is evil; all these things are evil. And what is the root of evil? Desire is the root of evil, illusion is the root of evil.”
- Buddha
kristandthekids is offline  
#7 of 27 Old 06-20-2011, 05:49 AM
 
Baby_Cakes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: NJ
Posts: 9,884
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I agree with everyone!!

 

I think it's a great compromise to co-sleep but not bedshare if your hubs is having doubts.  

 

It's possible you'll get a good sleeper, and by 2-3 months old, be getting good chunks of sleep.  My best friend's baby is just shy of 3 months and does 8-9 hour stretches at night.  I'm in disbelief b/c I thought those babies were myths.  But hey, if that happens, it wouldn't matter if you were co-sleeping or not.  (besides the obvious benefits of co-sleeping itself, of course.)

 

On the other hand, you may get a crappy sleeper who wakes every 30-45 min to nurse, and unless your partner can help with that, he's going to be SOL and the baby is going to be in your room at least.  That's insane to have to get up that many times a night to nurse!

 

My heart goes out to the little baby who suffocated and his family.  That's an awful tragedy.  


Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
Baby_Cakes is offline  
#8 of 27 Old 06-20-2011, 07:37 AM
 
Maurine's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,308
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I have a co-sleeper and plan to attach it to the bed.  I worry a bit about having the baby in the bed with me on DH's side, so plan to keep him between myself and the co-sleeper.  DH is a heavy sleeper.  Anyone have a good link to safe co-sleeping rules?


#1 stork-boy.gif born after IVF.

Maurine is offline  
#9 of 27 Old 06-20-2011, 07:53 AM
 
synepona's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Near Niagara Falls (Canada)
Posts: 1,026
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Maurine View Post

I have a co-sleeper and plan to attach it to the bed.  I worry a bit about having the baby in the bed with me on DH's side, so plan to keep him between myself and the co-sleeper.  DH is a heavy sleeper.  Anyone have a good link to safe co-sleeping rules?



A good list of 'rules' is in this article

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/faqs-about-sleep-problems/safe-co-sleeping-research

 

In our home, co-sleeping works for me & DS, but not for DH, he's such a light sleeper, that he wakes more often than I do, the dog breathes funny, DS moves around too much (in another room), with a baby in bed, DH gets no sleep at all, so we'll see how this plays out ... We always had the guest room bed before, so DH could get a solid night's sleep when needed. Now, that bed is DS's bed, I'm thinking of putting a twin in the baby's room when it's finished so that we do still have a spare sleeping surface, and she'll need her own bed eventually, so getting it now isn't a big deal.

 


~SynEpona~
synepona is offline  
#10 of 27 Old 06-20-2011, 08:34 AM
 
Birdie B.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,122
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Eeek! That's a terrible story! That poor family :(

My husband was deadset against co-sleeping too, so we agreed on a crib next to the bed. However, after he fell asleep holding her on his chest a few times, he realized that we all sleep much better together.  She hasn't left the bed yet (she's 2.5) and I'm the one who wants her to move out!  I think your husband will come around once he realizes how easy and safe it can be.  If not, a cosleeper or sleep positioner is a good idea.


Lovestruck luxlove.gif mama to Girlie #1 energy.gifand Girlie #2 on the way!
Birdie B. is offline  
#11 of 27 Old 06-20-2011, 10:29 AM
 
egmaranian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Central California
Posts: 1,023
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

My DH is a very deep sleeper and rarely even wakes up when there's a screaming baby right in the bed with us.  So, I made sure to ALWAYS keep baby between me and the co-sleeper.  Never, ever in the middle of me and DH.  I worked out just fine.  Now, DS (2yo) is so wiggly in bed that most of the time he takes up the entire middle of our Cal King bed and DH and I are hugging the edges all night. lol.gif

 

When this babe comes, DS will still be in the middle of DH and I and the baby will be either in the co-sleeper or between me and the co-sleeper.  My fear is that DS will decide he wants to climb over me to the side where baby is.  We're going to really have to work on boundaries.  Luckily, I have become a very light sleeper since becoming a mama. 


~Erica~ Married to the love of my life ~ Mama to Nickolas jog.gif6/14/09 and Alexander 8/4/11 and Aiden brokenheart.gifgone too soon at 14 weeks~    
 
  fly-by-nursing1.gifselectivevax.gifnocirc.giffamilybed1.gif
egmaranian is offline  
#12 of 27 Old 06-20-2011, 10:42 AM
 
cat13's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,766
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Thanks for the link! My DH is fully on board with co-sleeping, but I'm getting sick of hearing family snarkiness about it, so it's good to have an easy-to-read article to pass along.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by SynEpona View Post


A good list of 'rules' is in this article

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/faqs-about-sleep-problems/safe-co-sleeping-research

 


Mama Bear toddler.gif, Papa Bear treehugger.gif and Baby Bear (8/11) coolshine.gif

cat13 is offline  
#13 of 27 Old 06-20-2011, 11:21 AM
 
Italiamom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 2,439
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by egmaranian View Post

Now, DS (2yo) is so wiggly in bed that most of the time he takes up the entire middle of our Cal King bed and DH and I are hugging the edges all night. lol.gif


DH and DS are in our king size bed right now (I'm on the futon, so I can get better rest).  And any time I go in there while they're both sleeping, DH is always hugging the edge, taking up maybe 1/5th of the bed, and DS will be spraaaaawled out right next to him.  Kiddos eyesroll.gif

 


Wife to DH geek.gif, mom to DS (4/09), and DD (8/11)fly-by-nursing2.gif, and crafty and hardworking in my own right!  In my parenting journey I've  delayedvax.gif, signcirc1.gif, familybed2.gif, h20homebirth.gif, andcd.gif.  To each family their own!!

 

 

"There are words for people like me, but I don't think there are very many."

Italiamom is offline  
#14 of 27 Old 06-20-2011, 11:35 AM
 
egmaranian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Central California
Posts: 1,023
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


I soooo want to be sleeping in my comfy recliner instead of the bed, like I did from about 32 weeks on when pg with DS.  But the boy is still nursing at night and will freak out if the boobs aren't within reach most nights.  He starts out in his own bed and at his first waking (usually between 1am and 3am) joins us in our bed.  Some nights he just goes back to sleep, but others he will throw a fit if he can't have his "nummies".  I'm kind of ready to be done with this night nursing business. uhoh3.gif

Quote:
Originally Posted by Italiamom View Post




DH and DS are in our king size bed right now (I'm on the futon, so I can get better rest).  And any time I go in there while they're both sleeping, DH is always hugging the edge, taking up maybe 1/5th of the bed, and DS will be spraaaaawled out right next to him.  Kiddos eyesroll.gif

 



 


~Erica~ Married to the love of my life ~ Mama to Nickolas jog.gif6/14/09 and Alexander 8/4/11 and Aiden brokenheart.gifgone too soon at 14 weeks~    
 
  fly-by-nursing1.gifselectivevax.gifnocirc.giffamilybed1.gif
egmaranian is offline  
#15 of 27 Old 06-20-2011, 06:06 PM
 
mama2soren's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: slowly making a way home
Posts: 690
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Some parents find that it's a good compromise to have the baby sleep between mom and the edge of the bed, rather than between the two parents.  You could get an extra-long guard rail to put on your side of the bed.  Nursing mothers are so in tune with their babies, especially at night.  They often move between deep and light sleep cycles simultaneously.  The risk of a nursing mother rolling onto her baby and not noticing (unless extreme obesity, drug/alcohol use, or certain medications are part of the picture) is very, very low.  

 

Many nursing mothers find that they cannot get enough sleep without some form of co-sleeping.  It can be argued that it is safer to go ahead and plan to co-sleep (if it appeals to you) so that you have your bed set up safely (ie: no thick blankets, heavy pillows, pillow-tops, etc) and are used to having baby there.  It would be less safe, IMO, to bring baby into bed with you out of exhaustion for the first time in the middle of the night when you have your regular blankets on, you're not used to needing to be aware of baby's presence, and your DH might not be aware at all that baby is there.  

 

Here's a good article:http://www.phdinparenting.com/2009/01/11/co-sleeping-safety/

 

A favorite book of mine is James McKenna's "Our Babies, Ourselves."  He refers to many studies about the safety and value of co-sleeping, among other interesting topics!


OB RN, partner tobikenew.gif and mama to jog.gif (2008, 31 weeker) and babygirl.gif (2011) vbac.gif femalesling.GIF   novaxnocirc.gif  cd.gif

 
 

mama2soren is offline  
#16 of 27 Old 06-20-2011, 09:41 PM
 
jillybeans's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: in a little hole by the mountain
Posts: 3,556
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My dh was SO against co-sleeping with our first! MY compromise was that the bassinet was on HIS side of the bed, and that he would have to wake up, lift baby out, change the diaper, and then hand her to me to feed. smile.gif We happily have co-slept off and on with our girls' since the second week of dd1's life. lol! We do usually start out with baby in the bassinet, so that we get some alone snuggle time, which we NEED! But for that first feeding, baby stays in bed with us until I get up the next morning.

We usually do this for at least six months. Our second dd actually did NOT like co-sleeping much, and had to have her space. The king sized bed came in handy with that!

Jill, mama to three fiery girlies and a sweet baby boy: Grace, 11.30.2005,  Ayla, 3.22.2008, Norah 9.5.09, Reed 8.19.11 & dfs Gage 2.29.12   angel1.gif x4
 

jillybeans is offline  
#17 of 27 Old 06-20-2011, 11:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
HawaiianBlesing's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Sierras
Posts: 686
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Well the good news is we had a nice long chat and I explained to him about how to bed share safely.  Gave him this link.

 

I'm going to borrow his book as well.  He's feeling a little better.  I think that as our birthing date approaches he's getting a little more and more nervous about everything (which is understandable).  It's our first.  He's not a terribly heavy sleeper unless he's gotten no sleep at work or a nap the following day coming off shift.  If that were the case we would probably make other arrangements for sleeping. Either but babe between me and the edge of the bed our he might have to sleep in the spare room etc.  It's a very rare occasion right now with the station that he is at.

Does anyone know if Tempurpedic/memory foam mattresses are safe?

 

Thanks for all the comments.

Our hearts are definitely breaking for this family. 


Becky, homebirth.jpg momma to Rafe 8/2/2011,  wife to Sky & mom to our  dog2.gif   dog2.gifcorgis. 

HawaiianBlesing is offline  
#18 of 27 Old 06-20-2011, 11:38 PM
 
Beckily's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Olympia, WA
Posts: 2,598
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by HawaiianBlesing View Post

Well the good news is we had a nice long chat and I explained to him about how to bed share safely.  Gave him this link.

 

I'm going to borrow his book as well.  He's feeling a little better.  I think that as our birthing date approaches he's getting a little more and more nervous about everything (which is understandable).  It's our first.  He's not a terribly heavy sleeper unless he's gotten no sleep at work or a nap the following day coming off shift.  If that were the case we would probably make other arrangements for sleeping. Either but babe between me and the edge of the bed our he might have to sleep in the spare room etc.  It's a very rare occasion right now with the station that he is at.

Does anyone know if Tempurpedic/memory foam mattresses are safe?

 

Thanks for all the comments.

Our hearts are definitely breaking for this family. 


My dad forbade co-sleeping, but then mom just kept waking up with us sleeping with them - she'd bring us there to nurse and fall asleep. So he had to get over it. That's what often happens, I hear. We can make all the plans in the world and then Reality Strikes.

 

I have a vague tickle about memory foam not being ideal - they like firm beds - but it has no details.

 


Becky

Married to Dusty
Mama to Charlie - born August 15th.

Waiting on number two, due March 17!

Beckily is offline  
#19 of 27 Old 06-21-2011, 03:48 PM
 
Jbouck5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Denver
Posts: 402
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

We're getting this: http://www.amazon.com/First-Years-Secure-Sleeper-Colors/dp/B00012CHFI/ref=reg_hu-br_item-added

The baby is going to sleep on my side, away from DH. He moves way too much for her to be near him, I am afraid he would elbow her (it's happened to me). I am a really light sleeper and I don't move around at all when I sleep.

 

Maybe you could suggest this to your DH?

Jbouck5 is offline  
#20 of 27 Old 06-21-2011, 03:57 PM
 
kylaskye's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Iowa/Nebraska
Posts: 543
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)



I had talked to DH a while back about cosleeping and he agreed to it. (I didn't give him much of an option. He's a pretty light sleeper, so when I said I'd be up every hr and a half to two hours or more he kinda gave in. He brought it up and asked more about it. We're going to have a crib/toddler bed next to ours. Probably not going to have the 2nd long side put on so I have access to the baby, depending on how high it is. And I said the babe will be sleeping in the bed. He said he didn't want to roll over onto it. I said the baby would be on my side and I'll be in the middle. He seemed a lot more comfortable with that. I plan on rolling up a blanket and putting it under the sheet for an impromtu bed bumper. I don't really want to buy a piece of foam when that should work.

 


-Skye    http://sunnashearth.blogspot.com
Mama to L (08/11)
      
kylaskye is offline  
#21 of 27 Old 06-22-2011, 08:06 AM
 
earth-mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Fort Collins, CO
Posts: 556
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by kylaskye View Post




 I plan on rolling up a blanket and putting it under the sheet for an impromtu bed bumper. I don't really want to buy a piece of foam when that should work.

 



This is a great idea.  I may have to try it with our new bed.


Partner  partners.gif(10 years) Mother to Lily hearts.gif (4 years), Jonas babyboy.gif (1.5 years),  1 dog , and 1 cat 

 
 
 
     

earth-mama is offline  
#22 of 27 Old 06-23-2011, 11:20 AM
 
Birdie B.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,122
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I did that with my body pillow and it worked great!


Lovestruck luxlove.gif mama to Girlie #1 energy.gifand Girlie #2 on the way!
Birdie B. is offline  
#23 of 27 Old 06-23-2011, 11:31 AM
 
kylaskye's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Iowa/Nebraska
Posts: 543
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Birdie B. View Post

I did that with my body pillow and it worked great!



Oooh thanks for the idea. Was going to have to put the one I made DH buy me a couple months ago away, but now I have a use for it. 


-Skye    http://sunnashearth.blogspot.com
Mama to L (08/11)
      
kylaskye is offline  
#24 of 27 Old 06-23-2011, 11:34 AM
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,345
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

My husband is similarly opposed to co-sleeping--the idea makes him really uncomfortable. We bought an Ikea crib which converts to a toddler bed, and took one side off and will butt it up against the side of our bed. We'll see how it goes. I did tell him about 5000 times that it is not outside the realm of possibility for me to fall asleep while nursing babe and he is going to have to think about how he feels about that.

erigeron is offline  
#25 of 27 Old 06-23-2011, 12:09 PM
 
Tamera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 452
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

My husband wasn't sold on the idea when our DD was born, but he didn't really put up a fight. After a year he definitely agreed that it had a positive effect on her.


Tamera winner.jpg - wife to Robb, mama to Aidan 1/2004, Evie 9/2009, and Augustus 8/2011

Tamera is offline  
#26 of 27 Old 06-26-2011, 08:57 AM
 
Fulhouse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 89
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Didn't rEad the whole thread but after cosleeping 3x now, the best way to do it is to make the family bed in the nursery on the floor, and leave the master bedroom Adults Only. That way a tired man ( who may have even had a beer or two) will never roll onto his child. he can join the family in the family bed when he's not so exhausted, or for cuddles in the morning. It is also good for the marriage to have a place to be alone without baby. And your husband doesn't need you sleeping beside him all night the way Baby does. DH is a grownup and has his own security. Baby's only got you. It works super well this way.

For mom and baby in the bed on the floor ( make it at least queen size), use only a firm foam pillow for yourself that cannot smother baby, like A tempurpedic, and your cover doesn't go on the bed until you get in to sleep, and then keep it away from baby. Position baby's legs away from you and his head close. 90 degrees pretty much. Whenever baby's legs get close to you, make your hand into a spatula and slide the legs away from you again. From day one this gets baby used to keeping his legs away, and you won't get kicked.

Good luck with your DH - maybe this method will convince him that it's ok.

mom to three sons and one new daughter born in August 2011
Fulhouse is offline  
#27 of 27 Old 06-26-2011, 09:01 AM
 
Fulhouse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 89
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just one last note -- I have a body pillow now and it will not be on the bed when baby is here. It is Wayyy too soft to be safe. No pillow should be near a newborn except a firm foam style such as tempurpedic, period.

mom to three sons and one new daughter born in August 2011
Fulhouse is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off