Please pardon the skipping of tons of details. I will try to get to the point. I picked my OB according to who the people at ICAN suggested. But if you suggest that maybe there is an issue where this OB won't work out, they practically lynch you. You just cannot say anything but happy happy with regards to this OB. So, just before I hit 20 weeks, as in, a couple days before, I had a fever and contractions. Called the OB and he was out of town and could not see me! I asked to see whomever was on call, but was informed that because I was under 20 weeks, it was not an OB issue. They would not see me. I crawled back to my old OB (I will call OB2) and she saw me and concluded it was just a virus and I was a little dehydrated. I had my 20 week appointment with OB1 when he got back in to town at the end of the week. He was all comforting and seemed like things would be ok. Since I had been at OB2 earlier that week, I had an appointment scheduled with OB2 for 24 weeks.
At OB1, the same office staff member who told me I could not see anyone, had been spacing my appointments by 6-8 weeks. I found that frustrating and was in tears over this. The OB said I was supposed to be seen every 4 weeks, but she would not schedule me for every 4 weeks! She was spacing my appointments by 6-8 weeks and when I complained, she said it was "good enough." She was rude and nasty to me. So, I had an appointment with OB1 at 14 weeks and then 20 weeks and then 27 weeks. This really bothered me.
So I went to OB2 at 24 weeks. I had seen both OBs at 20 weeks basically, but only OB2 was seeing me every 4 weeks. OB2 though, had big office issues. Plus, her office manager is her husband and she had family issues. At least this is what she told me. Plus, I had had 2 babies with her before and both births were huge issues. The 2nd of those births, I allowed her to manipulate me in to a csect. Then I almost died from the complications. OB2 also had a nasty office staff member. This staff member would even refuse to call me back when I would come for appointments. So, I would have the first appointment after lunch, but then would not be seen until 5pm because I would have to wait until everyone else cleared out. She would take back every patient before me. I tried telling OB2 what her nurse was doing, and she pretended to care, but I don't think she ever did. There were also remarks about family size, about my losses (her refusing to give me the prenatal packet saying I would probably just lose the baby anyway), the home schooling, mostly family size though seemed to be her issue (I have had several miscarriages but already had 4 children, now I have 5, and she made remarks about the fact that I was trying to get pregnant and once I was pregnant). I kept telling the OB what was going on, but she basically blew me off.
At 26 weeks, I got sick. I had stabbing back pain and a head ache. I called OB1, still thinking I was going to make things work there. BUT, OB1 was out of town again! AND, his office staff member, same one as before, told me this was not an OB issue so no one there would see me! So again, I had to go crawling back to OB2, who I had not wanted to continue to see. Turned out, I had a UTI. I called and complained the next day to OB1 office and got the same office staff person who was very rude to me again. I finally went over her head and called the main office to the OB office and they got me in with an oncall doctor. At 27 weeks, I did not get seen because when I arrived, OB1 was seriously behind so I rescheduled.
At 28 weeks, I figured while I did not want to continue with OB2, I was feeling like I had little choice with OB1 never in town and not having anyone on call for me to see. I go in to OB2's office. I had drunk the glucose junk for the GD test. I signed in and waited for my appointment. I went up and asked a few times and was told by the rude nurse that the OB was running very late and was not going to be back for a long time. I was left waiting in the waiting room and was even missed for the blood draw on the glucose test. I finally, upon being told by the rude nurse that the OB was not expected back for a long time, and it was past my appointment time, that I guess I better reschedule. Despite how nasty she was always to me, I was always polite. I turned to walk out, only to have the doctor walking in. I told her I was just rescheduling and she told me she could see me now. She went on back. But then I did not get called back! I brought that to someones attention and oddly, I was brought back. But then I could see 3 other patients had been brought back while I waited! Thing is, I was in the office first and I had the first appointment. But the nurse was pushing me behind everyone again, AND she had me skip the blood draw for the GD test. I left. I called back to try to talk to the office manager, for the nurse instead. She informed me I had never shown up for my appointment, even though she knew full well I was there! I left messages for the OB2 and the office manager for the next two weeks. Never heard from either one. At the end of the 2 weeks, the nurse told me that the OB2 had dropped me.
At that point, I did go back to OB1, who I technically never left. His chronic being out of town and inability to get seen when he is gone was something I figured I had to deal with. He also assured me he had no travel plans until after I was due so all would be fine.
Then a week later, when I had not seen OB2 in 7 weeks...I hear from the nurse (nice nurse, not mean office person) that OB2 had called OB1 behind my back and told him that I was HER patient! SO, OB1 thought I had dropped him! I called back crying and asking about what was going on and got stuck talking to the rude office person who told me that OB1 would only keep me as a patient if I shut up and stop complaining when I come to his office and causing trouble! The ONLY "trouble" I ever caused was complaining about HER saying there was no one on call for OB1 when he was gone! That was it! I never have complained otherwise! She literally told me I have to come in and sit down and shut up..she used the words "shut up!!"
I decided to stay with OB1 because OB2 is manipulative and two-faced. Every single person I have known to have a baby with her has ended up with at least a week in the hospital, a csect, and horrible complications. Half the births I know of from her ended up with blood transfusions! ALL the births ended up in csects. My dh hates her. I almost died from my last birth with her while she ignored my symptoms. I met someone else from ICAN who had horrible complications that required a 2nd surgery to fix. She feels OB2 is manipulative and 2 faced.
To try to help things, my dh decided he would go with me to all doctors visits from now on. SO...I went to my last appointment with OB1 and things were fine. I am still upset about his staff member telling me to shut up and what she said, but I never have to deal with her really. I am not even sure why she was the one who called me back the other day to say that. I have been told by people who have used OB1 that they are so sure that was only coming from the office person and not OB1.
BUT..I also found out at the last visit that OB1 is going to be out of town Sept 10-18. I am due Sept 22!
Now what? What am I supposed to do? I have had 4 csects and 3 vbacs in the past. No OB is going to take me as a vbac client and I do not want to simply schedule a csect to get a different OB. I do not want to crawl back to OB2. Oh, and about OB2..I did go back to her and tell her she violated Hipaa by calling my OB (OB1) and never to do that again. She tried to claim doctors are exempt from Hipaa.
Please help with good suggestions! Thank you so much!
Wow, I am not sure what to say. I cannot imagine having so much drama! It is beyond my scope of imagination that a receptionist (?) would tell a patient that they needed to shup up. I am glad that you DH is being supportive and is going to your appointments with you.
Is the OB that is away so often planning a VBAC with you?
Will his back-up OB honor that birth plan?
Will the back-up be available for you to meet ahead of time?
Do you think that hiring a doula for support is a possibility?
I hope that you are able to find peace, soon.
and walking a path illuminated by our 5/08 8/11 due in 1/14
The fact that you've had so many successful VBAC's is a point in your favor, I'd think, but I know how hard it can be to fight the system. If OB1 is the most supportive of your birth choices, I'd stick with them. - Despite the chronic lateness and everything. Having a supportive provider is a very big thing.
As for HIPPA, I'd think doctors within the same practice (whom you would expect to see, or possibly see all of) could legitimately discuss your case. but outside practioners? I don't think so - but I could be wrong.
Katrina - Mama to Gabriel 11/20/2009 and Norah 10/11/2011 and Theo03/11/2013- married to Wayne -
I would copy and send this to OB2. There was no reason (immediate or otherwise) for her to call OB1. These "rules" aren't clear cut, but I don't see how whatever she said was critical for them to discuss.
She was all apologetic about it and tried telling me she has been having a lot of family problems and she is so sorry. But I am not buying it. Then she told me that besides, doctors are exempt from Hipaa. I have had enough of her to know I do not trust her.
On OB1...he has 3 partners. As far as I can tell, one of them will honor my birth plan. The other told me she won't. She said she is very uncomfortable with vbacs, but won't push the csect issue if I come in when she is on call. However, she will write in my records that she recommended a csect and I refused. Also, my understanding is she will require me to stay in bed, on monitors, the entire time. She also said if my labor stalls or there is something wrong where my labor needs to get going, she will not use any sort of induction, she will only go straight to a csect. I am having some complications already so an early birth might be needed. Do not know yet. My AFI is too high and the growth has slowed a little bit. But nothing that needs action now, just extra monitoring. But especially going in to that last couple of weeks, what if it does? Plus, if she is going to make me stay in bed on monitors the entire time, chances are good I will end up with an epidural. Which is ok I guess, but, in the past, with epidurals, my labor has stalled. And she said if my labor stalls, she will simply make me have a csect then and I will have no other options. So, if I get her, I think it is safe to assume I will likely end up in a csect.