You know it's almost time to give birth when..... (some fun while we wait for labor????) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 31 Old 09-06-2011, 10:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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You can no longer wrap your beach towel all the way around you after you shower.

 

Your maternity clothes don't fit anymore.

 

You have to shuffle your feet in the morning so you don't step on the kitten who is begging for food.

 

 

 

Anyone else care to play along???

 


Amy :)

 

 

 

 


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#2 of 31 Old 09-06-2011, 11:20 AM
 
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Definately!

It's almost time when...

You couldn't tie a shoe to save your life
You are growing a forest of leg hair
Your plans for leaving the house are at the mercy of your bladder
Dh is too freaked out at feeling individual body parts to be exited about baby moving around!


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#3 of 31 Old 09-06-2011, 11:44 AM
 
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when you don't bother to get dressed, just sit around in a towel or blanket and threaten children NOT to bring any neighborhood friends in the house.

 

when you've served toast for dinner....3 nights in a row

 

 

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#4 of 31 Old 09-06-2011, 12:26 PM
 
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When on your kids first day back to school the bus driver exclaims, "HOLY COW! YOU HAVEN'T POPPED YET?! BLESS YOUR SOUL!"

 

I guess I looked ready 2 months ago??? shrug.gif


And Baby makes five!!! grouphug.gif +dog2.gif x2!
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#5 of 31 Old 09-06-2011, 12:48 PM
 
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When the bartender at your fave restaurant/bar takes one look at you when you go in for a (now rare) lunch out and starts laughing hysterically, then says, "God love you."

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#6 of 31 Old 09-06-2011, 01:51 PM
 
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When you aren't sure when the last time was that you had a shower, because it seems like too much effort to get your big self into the shower...

 

When you nearly cry upon finding your midwife appointment is three days later than you thought

 

When you stop to wipe down a dirty baseboard on the way to doing something else

 

When you start looking wistfully at your non-pregnancy clothes and start fantasizing about wearing them again

 

When you're seriously afraid of what will happen when you sneeze - and see this funny little blog post on the same topic! Gave me a good laugh

http://crappypictures.typepad.com/crappy-pictures/2011/09/laughing-before-after-kids.html

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#7 of 31 Old 09-06-2011, 01:53 PM
 
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When a stranger at the grocery store gives you the look that says: I can't believe someone let you leave the house [because you look like you should have given birth weeks ago]! I'm 39 weeks now and it's driving me crazy when I constantly hear: have you had that baby yet?


Two wonderful boys born Aug 2009 and Sept 2011, and #3 due April 2015! I'm also a CLC and postpartum doula.
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#8 of 31 Old 09-06-2011, 02:03 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gracecody View Post

When you start looking wistfully at your non-pregnancy clothes and start fantasizing about wearing them again


Or even when you look at Maternity clothes and start fantasizing about wearing them again...

 

 

 

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#9 of 31 Old 09-06-2011, 02:10 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NC05 View Post
Or even when you look at Maternity clothes and start fantasizing about wearing them again...

 

 

 


Ha, I hear you! This weekend I went through all my maternity clothes and put a bunch of them into a postpartum pile. Mostly yoga pants and first-second trimester tops. Nothing glamorous but so fun to be able to wear something different. Our temps just dropped about 20 degrees and I have exactly one pair of pants and two hideous long sleeved tops. :)

 

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#10 of 31 Old 09-06-2011, 02:12 PM
 
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When I'm actually afraid to leave the house because I might go into labor at any moment.  I really don't want to be driving again when labor starts!

 

When I feel like a bug stuck on my back while trying to roll over in bed....or on the chiropractor table.  LOL

 

 

 

 


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#11 of 31 Old 09-06-2011, 02:51 PM
 
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When your coworkers are scared to work with you/have an labor plan in place just in case. :)

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#12 of 31 Old 09-06-2011, 04:27 PM
 
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Dlynn -- I got this today too, my kids' first day of school--every one I saw was surprised that I "haven't had that baby yet?!"

 

When your belly hangs out the bottom of every maternity top you own.

 

When instead of being all excited and joyous when you feel the baby move, you start to find yourself saying, "OW!!!!  I don't know what the !@#$%$ you are doing in there, but stop it!"

 

When you have to strategically plan getting off the couch or going up or down the stairs, coz it's an ordeal.  Usually accompanied by various grunting noises.

 

When people ask you how you are, your reply is, "Ugh...."

 

Everything.  And everyone.  Annoys.  The crap out of you.

 

You look at the expiry date on a jug of milk and wonder if it will expire before or after you have your baby.  I did this today.  And I bought the one with the soonest expiry date, and we're in a race to beat the clock.

 

 

 

 

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#13 of 31 Old 09-06-2011, 04:43 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama2ChicknLil View Post

Dh is too freaked out at feeling individual body parts to be exited about baby moving around!


Hahaha, this one is so true! 


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#14 of 31 Old 09-06-2011, 04:46 PM
 
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When you tell even casual acquaintances "I hope I find out I'm dilated at my OB appointment this week!". And you're not even bothered by the stunned silence that follows. :-)

 

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#15 of 31 Old 09-06-2011, 06:00 PM
 
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When you are wearing a shirt that says "Best Grandpa" pilfered from your FIL's dresser by MIL so you have at least something to wear without exposing yourself too much and embarrassing MIL.

 

When you have a feeling that this will be the last Sunday you have something that kind of fits and know next Sunday you won't have anything that fits decent enough to go to church in.

 

Doing anything takes A LOT of effort except sitting and knitting or napping.

 

Your only shorts that fit keep falling down because the baby dropped so much you can't wear the ones you have been wearing every day for the last two months.


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#16 of 31 Old 09-06-2011, 07:21 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FarmerCathy View Post

 

Your only shorts that fit keep falling down because the baby dropped so much you can't wear the ones you have been wearing every day for the last two months.



This keeps happening with my underwear lol.  None of them will stay up anymore because baby is so low.


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#17 of 31 Old 09-07-2011, 06:04 PM
 
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You have to put your belly to the side while you wash your hands in the sink and you can almost not reach to wash both hands at once.

 

You just realized you haven't washed your hair since Saturday and tonight it sounded like too much work as well.  I've been taking showers every day, but realized I neglected to wash my hair.lol.gif


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#18 of 31 Old 09-07-2011, 06:47 PM
 
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Originally Posted by FarmerCathy View Post

You have to put your belly to the side while you wash your hands in the sink and you can almost not reach to wash both hands at once.

 


 

Every time I wash dishes I wish for a pregnant lady sink, which would have a belly-shaped indentation so I don't have to squish up against the counter every time:) 

 

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#19 of 31 Old 09-08-2011, 06:16 PM
 
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People don't get it when you can't wash your hands or reach over a counter to get something. This has been my life for at least the last three months. The kitchen sink where we were living when I was pregnant with DS1 was worse. It was a corner sink and was set back like 3 or 4 inches from the edge of the counter rather than 1 or 2 (inches).
 

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Every time I wash dishes I wish for a pregnant lady sink, which would have a belly-shaped indentation so I don't have to squish up against the counter every time:) 

 



 


Two wonderful boys born Aug 2009 and Sept 2011, and #3 due April 2015! I'm also a CLC and postpartum doula.
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#20 of 31 Old 09-09-2011, 11:51 AM
 
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I'm to the point where I WANT to see mucous or blood or fluid or SOMETHING in my undies or when I wipe when I go potty.  Seriously, I'd take about anything at this point.  twins.gif  Cause I got nothin'. 


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#21 of 31 Old 09-09-2011, 12:00 PM
 
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You know you are ready to have a baby when you drop something/see something on the floor and debate whether the BH is worth picking that item up. 

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#22 of 31 Old 09-09-2011, 07:38 PM
 
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When the pizza delivery guy asks with very wide eyes if you are going to have a baby at any minute... I told him I was over due and he got out of there as soon as possible after making sure I have "someone to look after me". Some random guy at the post office the other day also got really flustered at my belly... stammering a bit with "I don't know how... how do you... I mean, how do women... I could never... " and then finally blurting out, "Holy crap! Are there TWO in there?!!" If laughing could have started my labor just then it would have... 

 

When you feel like an upside down beetle on your back trying to switch from one side to the other at night.

 

I'm also annoyed by EVERYTHING and EVERYONE right now.

 

When you can no longer sit with your legs together because there's a head between them.

 

When you stop answering the phone and change your voicemail to say, "Yes, I'm STILL pregnant. Thanks for checking in on me." and send all your calls to voicemail.

 

When you have done everything possible on this list (except #101): 101 Things to Do When you're Over Due

 

When you have watched every single episode of Mad Men, Bones, Lie to Me, Glee and Numbers on Netflix that is available.

 

When you are afraid to go out of the house.

 

When you have nothing left to do except wash your hair twice a day, and it wears you out doing it once.

 

When everyone you know asks what they can do to help and all you can say is "thanks, but unless you can start labor for me, I got nothing".

 

OMG... I do not want to be pregnant anymore.


Moo.

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#23 of 31 Old 09-10-2011, 02:47 PM
 
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That would be great. My kitchen sink is huge and now that I'm pregnant the faucet is too far away for me to wash the dishes properly.
 

Quote:
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Every time I wash dishes I wish for a pregnant lady sink, which would have a belly-shaped indentation so I don't have to squish up against the counter every time:) 

 



 


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#24 of 31 Old 09-10-2011, 03:04 PM
 
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When you feel like an upside down beetle on your back trying to switch from one side to the other at night.



So true! I feel like I have to actually work up momentum by flailing my arms and legs in the air just to turn over. 


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#25 of 31 Old 09-11-2011, 07:24 PM
 
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This is probably only for SMCs (single mamas by choice) and is likely WAY TMI, but here's the one that made me laugh today and got me out of the house to get my mind off of this overdue nonsense:

 

When you actually consider that standing offer of NSA sex from the dorky player friend you've been avoiding advances from for years, just to get your cervix covered in prostaglandins... not that I ever would mind you, because as my sister pointed out "castor oil has less of a chance of giving you hepatitis"... and I'm really not that kind of girl, but it DID cross my mind, which is an indicator of just how much I do not want to be pregnant anymore. LMAO!


Moo.

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#26 of 31 Old 09-11-2011, 07:39 PM
 
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This is probably only for SMCs (single mamas by choice) and is likely WAY TMI, but here's the one that made me laugh today and got me out of the house to get my mind off of this overdue nonsense:

 

When you actually consider that standing offer of NSA sex from the dorky player friend you've been avoiding advances from for years, just to get your cervix covered in prostaglandins... not that I ever would mind you, because as my sister pointed out "castor oil has less of a chance of giving you hepatitis"... and I'm really not that kind of girl, but it DID cross my mind, which is an indicator of just how much I do not want to be pregnant anymore. LMAO!


LMAO, Mommel!  I am so there.
 

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#27 of 31 Old 09-23-2011, 06:40 AM
 
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I am ressurecting this, because I am more ready now then before... :)

 

- Your new pick up line to your husband is "wanna go put some prostaglandins on my cervix?"

 

- Your 20 month old starts rubbing your belly saying "baby come out"

 

- A well meaning friend asks how you managed to put your shoes on that morning

 

- A 9 lb baby is starting to sound small

 

- reading a birth story has you in tears...of jealousy :)

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#28 of 31 Old 09-23-2011, 08:38 AM
 
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Oh my gosh, we are so in the same place right now, all of those are true here too! The prostaglandin deal almost killed me the other night (lots of cramps and soreness afterward but zero baby action!) so I am not sure I will try that again. ;)
 

Quote:
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I am ressurecting this, because I am more ready now then before... :)

 

- Your new pick up line to your husband is "wanna go put some prostaglandins on my cervix?"

 

- Your 20 month old starts rubbing your belly saying "baby come out"

 

- A well meaning friend asks how you managed to put your shoes on that morning

 

- A 9 lb baby is starting to sound small

 

- reading a birth story has you in tears...of jealousy :)



 

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#29 of 31 Old 09-23-2011, 09:26 AM
 
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Yeah, those prostaglandins didn't do anything for me. No cramps. No contractions, not even Braxton Hicks. Not sure it was fun enough to try again... :) I know it will be soon, but...

Quote:
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Oh my gosh, we are so in the same place right now, all of those are true here too! The prostaglandin deal almost killed me the other night (lots of cramps and soreness afterward but zero baby action!) so I am not sure I will try that again. ;)
 



 



 

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#30 of 31 Old 09-24-2011, 04:34 AM
 
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You know (or hope!) it's almost time to give birth when several well intentioned people ask you if you're having twins and you smile and say "no I'm just overdue" when what you wanted to do is shoot them a dirty look and sock them one! nut.gif

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