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#1 of 22 Old 09-28-2011, 11:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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is anyone else feeling blue?

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#2 of 22 Old 09-28-2011, 01:43 PM
 
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Hey mama...definately. Every other day it seems I get so sad. Monday I cried so hard I popped a blood vessel in my eye greensad.gif

just know you are doing a wonderful job, and don't be too hard on yourself. I noticed you are also having some challenges with bf, me too (cracked bleeding nipples anyone?) And I feel like that has probably contributed to feeling down on myself and my ability to take care of this baby...not to mention the sleep deprivation.

Eat enough, drink enough water, keep taking your vitamins, and hand someone else the baby at least once a day and take a nap!!

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#3 of 22 Old 09-28-2011, 03:30 PM
 
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I was totally fine until my mom left. I called her sobbing last night and asked her to come back! I go back to work at 4 weeks postpartum, so I really just want to lay around and recover. I also want the companionship.
It's totally normal to feel blue! The emotional roller coaster sucks, but it usually gets better pretty fast. In general, I find that cal/mag supplements help my mood a lot. They also help you poop, which is nice postpartum!

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#4 of 22 Old 09-28-2011, 03:40 PM
 
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I wanted to add that with DD, breastfeeding issues caused me so much grief. There's a really good book called "how my breasts saved the world" that you ladies should check out. It's about a new mom and her struggles with bfing. It's worth a read.
The only thing a new mom should be doing is breastfeeding her baby. No cooking, cleaning , laundry, nothing. I tried to be supermom with DD1 and it came back to bite me in the butt. This time I'm just laying around the house. DD1 is watching way too much tv and eating way too much junk food, but she'll survive! Seriously don't do anything! Be a lazy butt. You'll feel better faster.

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#5 of 22 Old 09-28-2011, 04:33 PM
 
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Originally Posted by scottishmommy View Post

The only thing a new mom should be doing is breastfeeding her baby. No cooking, cleaning , laundry, nothing. I tried to be supermom with DD1 and it came back to bite me in the butt. This time I'm just laying around the house. DD1 is watching way too much tv and eating way too much junk food, but she'll survive! Seriously don't do anything! Be a lazy butt. You'll feel better faster.


Ha! I wish. My husband came to me today and asked, "Could you run out and pick up ......?" Really? I've been out with you running errands (some he can't do) and I've got dr's orders to sit on my duff and rest for 2 weeks straight and then ... then ... maybe go to the grocery store to get a few things. Without me scheduling, arranging, shopping, calling, etc. this house would fall apart because nothing would get done and DH wouldn't know what to do.  I really am a "homemaker" and it's my job to make sure this house runs smoothly. If I don't pick up it won't get done.  DH can cook, but he doesn't clean up after himself. He whines if the dishes aren't done. Hello?!? I'm supposed to be resting and nursing. No, I am not going out to run errands today. Yes, I am going to stay home. So deal with it.

 

<end rant>

 


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#6 of 22 Old 09-28-2011, 04:46 PM
 
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Ha! I wish. My husband came to me today and asked, "Could you run out and pick up ......?" Really? I've been out with you running errands (some he can't do) and I've got dr's orders to sit on my duff and rest for 2 weeks straight and then ... then ... maybe go to the grocery store to get a few things. Without me scheduling, arranging, shopping, calling, etc. this house would fall apart because nothing would get done and DH wouldn't know what to do.  I really am a "homemaker" and it's my job to make sure this house runs smoothly. If I don't pick up it won't get done.  DH can cook, but he doesn't clean up after himself. He whines if the dishes aren't done. Hello?!? I'm supposed to be resting and nursing. No, I am not going out to run errands today. Yes, I am going to stay home. So deal with it.

 

<end rant>

 


Just remind him that the sooner you stop bleeding, the sooner can have sex (theoretically). If I were you, I'd just let him whine....and can you ask him to pick up some paper plates?

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#7 of 22 Old 09-28-2011, 05:05 PM
 
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Oy I was clueless! I just figured I'd pop out baby, and go about my usual routine! If it weren't for my sister who has done EVERYTHING, and hubby and aunt who have done EVERYTHING ELSE, I would be a basket case right now. I was in no way prepared for this. I am thinking of you mommies who aren't getting turret kind of support you need...hang in there, I hear it gets better smile.gif

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#8 of 22 Old 09-28-2011, 05:07 PM
 
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We've been using paper plates since the craziness of vacation (camping) and my being out of the house for CLC training (and gosh darn it I still don't have my scores back!) in August. I recouped pretty quickly from DS1's birth and with this one I've only been spotting since day 3 pp. I've got the ok for sex after 2-3 weeks pp, if I feel up to it, but honestly I really felt raw after DS1 was born so it's a bit anxiety provoking for me.... I also have to have the condom or no sex talk too (I plan on getting an IUD after my 6 week visit), I had my first period (yeah - first) 6 weeks pp which meant I ovulated at 4 weeks PP .... and that was EBF.  My body was made to make babies. That's a little soon for me. I'm thinking I'd like three years give or take a few months between #2 and #3.


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#9 of 22 Old 09-28-2011, 06:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all of your replies. My milk just came in today and at the same time I started to feel weepy. I know it's just the hormones as I'm having the same type of thoughts I did last time. Mostly centering around my two older kids and the impact the new baby has had on them and our family dynamics. These first days are so hard! I feel like there's so little I can do for them from the bed. Fortunately we have good support though - we had a part time babysitter when I was working and she has continued to come and care for our 3.5 year old this week which has been a godsend. My husband has 2 weeks leave from work; unfortunately he's been sick with a bad cold but he is managing pretty well and allowing me to stay in bed as much as I like.

 

The sleep deprivation is pretty killer. I really dread the night times. As we get better at side nursing (and going back to sleep after each feeding) then it will get so much better. Baby's also getting a little better at staying asleep when I put him down, I certainly can't get any quality sleep with him on me and want him to get used to sleeping independently for everyone's sanity. :)

 

Anyway it helps to talk with my DH and observe that the kids really are doing remarkably well. Next week hopefully I'll be able to wear the baby in a moby wrap and interact with my daughter more.

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#10 of 22 Old 09-28-2011, 10:42 PM
 
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mecry.gif  This has been me for the past 2 weeks.  The birth was great it was a little intense as it was an hour and forty five minutes from active to baby out and my hips felt like they were being ripped from the inside out.  It took me a few days to process how quick things went.  Anyways...about a week after the birth, I had a horrible yeast infection in my armpits (the boy was born during a heat wave here) so I started treating that.  A week later, G had spots all over his tongue, so I had to start treating him as well as cleaning my nips after every feed and make sure hubby washed my clothes properly.  I had also started a low carb/almost no sugar diet to help stop feeding the yeast under my arms.  As a post-partum, breastfeeding mom....that is really hard.  I was hungry!  Bonus though-I dropped 20 lbs.  Then, this past Monday, I woke up to nurse G in the night feeling like I had the flu...chills, aches, fever.  At the time, I didn't have any lumps in the breast, but as the day went on sure enough a lump with a nice red aura showed up on my right breast.  I decided with the midwife to hold off the antibiotics and see if this would clear on its own since going on antibiotics would probably bring on a huge yeast problem again.  So, after 3 days in bed, the fever doesn't need meds to keep it in check anymore and the duct might have unplugged.  The inside of my breast feels more bruised than angry now and I'm taking Traumeel to help with the inflammation.   I put alot of blame on myself for things since I nursed the other 3 kids I have and have never experienced any problems before.  The hardest part was everytime I looked at my new baby boy, I cried.  I felt horrible for putting him through the thrush and meds while at the same time blaming him for the plugged duct.  I felt that when he looked at me it was like he was saying, "All I want is you to love me.  Just love me."

 

It'll be great to come out the other side of this come October.  I'm hoping Oct 1 will be the dawning of a new day for G and me.  I would love to enjoy the fall with the kids.  The hardest part of the last few weeks is missing out on my older kids.  They're great and have been understanding of everything.  I'm looking forward to seeing friends again and having conversations without crying every single time.


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#11 of 22 Old 10-01-2011, 01:13 PM
 
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Quote:

Originally Posted by mae14 View Post

 

I felt horrible for putting him through the thrush and meds while at the same time blaming him for the plugged duct.  I felt that when he looked at me it was like he was saying, "All I want is you to love me.  Just love me."



This is exactly how I feel when I get frustrated that breastfeeding is not going well and hurts... I just think to myself that I don't want to do it and I should just give him a bottle and then I feel horrible about it. I had no idea it would be so hard. I don't want to fail him. 


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#12 of 22 Old 10-01-2011, 01:27 PM
 
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This is exactly how I feel when I get frustrated that breastfeeding is not going well and hurts... I just think to myself that I don't want to do it and I should just give him a bottle and then I feel horrible about it. I had no idea it would be so hard. I don't want to fail him. 


 

So well put. My LO runs like a furnace, but his temp is fine. I don't want to put him in a carrier because I don't want him to overheat, so he's spent a lot of time in a bouncer and I feel like I'm neglecting him. My toddler has been begging for my attention too. I look at both of them and see that same look .... just love me ... I don't want to fail either of them. This juggling more than one child is hard. I want to be able to spend time with my newborn like I was able to with DS1 but then I feel like I'm completely ignoring DS1 to give attention to DS2. Ulgh!!


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#13 of 22 Old 10-01-2011, 01:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I hear you on the breastfeeding challenges. We have had really rough nights so far where baby doesn't want to settle and sleep after nursing, he just wants to cluster nurse. He gets sleepy, I take him off soooo gently and his hands start going and he starts crying immediately. Sigh. Even if I just let him stay endlessly on the nipple he will come off at some point and wake himself up, again crying immediately.  Last night it was for five HOURS, I kid you not. Obviously I am more than a little sore today. I didn't know what else to do as I was so freaking exhausted I could not bear to get up with him and try anything else. I'm not physically capable of carrying him around much yet, anyway. We were side nursing so at least I got to lay and rest if not sleep. It gets to the point where he is spitting up, presumably because he is over-full. I have been burping him after each time.

 

I do get frustrated that it seems like if this kid is not on the boob/sleeping, he wants to just cry. Makes me want to cry.

 

Anyway I get to the end of my rope each night before I finally ask DH to help me by taking the baby for an hour or so so I can get some sleep. He has to do so much during the day that I want him to be really well rested.

 

We were talking about it yesterday (one of the main things he has to do is help me think positive and get past this baby blues period where the most negative thoughts are constantly coming into my head) and one thought we had that gave me a lot of patience last night was to think of things from baby's perspective. He has been in the womb for 9 mos and out of the womb for 5 days. Think of everything he is doing to adjust and how the nipple is his main source of comfort, it's something that is given to him to instinctually help him through these early days..

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#14 of 22 Old 10-01-2011, 01:35 PM
 
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Oh yeah, I have bouncer guilt too! He's not in there all the time, but when I have him in it for more than five minutes so I can go to the bathroom or make some food, I feel bad! 


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#15 of 22 Old 10-01-2011, 05:32 PM
 
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I'm there with all of you.  With DS I had the blues during the first couple weeks, this time I was fine and it hit during the third week and is still going off and on.  For me it's been eczema issues, and the creams and pills I have to use for that I'm worried about passing those chemicals to her.  Then there seems to be a never-ending round of colds running through our house, we're all onto our second cold since she was born.  The whole neglecting my toddler, having no patience with my toddler, and suddenly he's started preschool and gymnastics unparented, which before were parented so I'm worried he might see all these unparented classes starting just as she's born and suddenly he feels passed off for her.  The lack of sleep, I can't get naps in with a 3 year-old who doesn't nap.  With my son during night feedings I would feed him on one side then pass him off to DH to be changed and burped while I went to the bathroom and did whatever else I needed to, then I would finish feeding him and put him back to sleep.  This time though DH seems to think I don't need that bit of help and he needs more sleep than I do, because somehow his work day became more busy with the second child and mine became less busy?!  Plus my first was a c-section so recovery was slower, this time, a VBAC, I find that everyone expects my recovery to have been finished after the first week, but I still find I'm sore if I overdo it and no one gets that, nor do they expect the baby blues at this point, everyone thinks I should be my old self and life is back to a normal routine.  Which brings my next issue, the weekend after she was born my parents were up to help out and my dad was bored, so he and DH decided to start our basement development.  Now everytime either of our parents come to "help with the baby" they come to work on the basement, which means I'm left with the baby while grandma watches DS and they're downstairs working, meanwhile my son is wondering why mommy can't play with him during the week and daddy's too busy to play with him on weekends.  I finally had to put an end to it, they had all made plans to come back next weekend and do more work and I sternly but oh so politely told them that the basement was done until further notice, and I didn't say it but later told DH that "help with the baby" visits were also done because they had become "entertain and feed us" visits.  I had this same issue after my son was born, he was 4 days old, they came to see him and showed up for dinner, not with dinner, not offering to help make dinner or pick something up, but sat there asking about dinner until I turned around and said "Well I sure as hell am not cooking", so DH went and bought them pizza. 

 

My midwife advised me to increase my vitamins and that would help with the overwhelming feelings I've been getting, plus the sadness everytime I look at her and worry that she's growing too fast and I'm not enjoying every moment enough.  DH is adamant that this will be the last baby and that makes me sad too, when I was pregnant, and certainly during labor, I was convinced it was too, but now I'm so sad everytime I think that I won't get to experience everything at least one more time.  I got him today to agree to keep an open mind and revisit the subject in a year or two, which helped.  I had two siblings and I just think the house would've been so empty, I'm not sure I feel like our family is finished yet. 

 

Anyways enough of my rant!

 

Gracecody have you tried swaddling him?  That will help with the muscle twitches of him waking himself up.  The Happiest Baby on the Block is a great book that shows how to swaddle properly and tightly so they do not get out, I've mastered the art thanks to that book.  Also before I was ready to use a pacifier and the baby just wanted to soothe with my nipple all night, I'd wash my hands well and let her suck on my pinkie finger instead, it's about the same shape and can get further into their mouth than a pacifier so less likely to cause nipple confusion.  It can cause your finger to get quite dry but better than your nipples.  Just make sure your nail is short and keep your finger with the nail towards their tongue so you don't scrape the roof of their mouth. 

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#17 of 22 Old 10-01-2011, 07:54 PM
 
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I was feeling fantastic until the past day or so...she is two weeks old today and the emotional tailspin is starting.  I'm also just starting to really process her birth--up until now I've just been so grateful that all turned out okay, but now in addition to that I'm dealing with the guilt of choosing to try VBA2C and feeling like if anything had happened, I never could have forgiven myself.  I'm trying to tell myself I made the best choice I could given the situation, but it's so hard when I think of the fact that she could have not made it, and it would have been my fault.  Also, my BF is pissing me off because he spends most of his time closed up in our room watching TV (at least he's not sleeping on the couch anymore.)  He loves the baby to bits, and will come out and love on her for awhile, and sometimes take her in there with him for awhile, but he's spending virtually no time with me.  So now that my mom has gone home, I'm dealing with the big kids all by myself, and the dogs, and cooking, and everything else, while he is in the other room ignoring me.  The garbage is close to overflowing because I am not allowed to lift anything, and he hasn't clued in to do it, much less any of the other housework.  I really need the emotional support right now more than anything, and the company.  He was great in the hospital, and great the first couple days home, but since then he's kind of gotten antisocial, and although I know that's how he is, and I know he's also quitting smoking right now, it's just really hard not having any help.

 

I have soooo little patience with my kids right now.  They are awesome kids, and I know that, but any little provocation and I find myself yelling at them or crying, or both.  Then my neighbours' grandkids decided to come over today (rather than play outside, like they were supposed to,)  and I really kind of lost it.  I don't have the patience to babysit other peoples' kids right now!

 

I'm getting really good sleep at night, my baby sleeps like a dream, especially now that we've mastered side-lying while nursing, so I can't blame it on sleep deprivation.  I'm grateful I don't have that to deal with at the same time.  But I am still tired, mostly because I'm still healing, and everyone seems to have forgotten that.  I feel great considering, and I'm healing fast, but I am not ready to dive back into everything full throttle just yet, and no one seems to remember that I had major abdominal surgery and a baby just two weeks ago.  Thinking I shouldn't have told everyone how good I"ve been feeling, because now they expect me to be 100% recuperated.

 

I am grateful that she is such an easy baby, that is making it so much easier.  I remember my emotional state after my first, who was the most colicky, screamy, refluxy baby ever, and I don't think I could handle that again.  But the baby blues are definitely kicking in now.  I just keep telling myself it will get better. 


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#18 of 22 Old 10-03-2011, 06:30 AM
 
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(((hugs)))

 

I had a visit from a PPD therapist while still in the hospital (their standard discharge policy if mom has had PPD in the past, which I have).  She had some handouts and brochures, but the big "intervention" they're pushing for right now is to have moms eat a high protien breakfast within an hour of waking up.  Apparently some studies suggest that this can cut PPD rates by a significant amount.  Sort of like when I was dealing with killer morning sickness I've been keeping cheese sticks, yogurt cups/tubes, beef jerky, and luna protien bars by the bed... I have a more complete "breakfast" later, but try to snack on something (and drink a glass of water from my thermos) each time I wake to nurse.  Or at least before I get out of bed for the morning.  I'm not sure if it's helping (I cried so hard the other day my eyes swelled shut and they were still puffy/hard to open 24 hours later), but it's not hurting.

 

I wish there were  more support options out there... there are no pp-doulas or mothers helpers here, and it's such a rural community there aren't really neighbors or local teens who could be hired to help.  With dh going back to work today (half days thank god but still) I'm feeling a lot of panic.  And pressure.  Like, my "official babymoon" is done now... so I should be back to normal.  The house, homeschool, obligations and activities, the shopping, my mood and attitude... they should all be normal.  And they aren't.  Not even close.  :(  My brain keeps saying "relax" but my gut isn't buying it.  I KNOW that we'll find a new normal, and that by 6 months pp I wont have these worries/feelings but right now... right now I feel overwhelmed.

 

I was diagnosed with PPD at dd1's 6mo well baby visit... I'd suggest that if anyone feels blue a month after the birth, tell your care provider (or find a local support group, call the Solace warmline or contact Postpartum Support International or Depression After Delivery).  Even if it's just "a bit" blue.  Habits can form in your thoughts and feelings as well as your actions and the sooner you have someone helping you, the weaker those "negative" habits will be.  Waiting till 6mo to admit that things aren't getting better makes the journey harder.  (((HUGS)))


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#19 of 22 Old 10-03-2011, 12:12 PM
 
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hi mamas~ 

 

My lo is 4 weeks on wednesday, I can't believe how fast the time has flown by.  Everything was going great, and I was feeling great until this past week.  Cassidy started getting fussier and fussier, and sleeping less (smaller chunks of sleep).  We are trying to figure out what it is.  She does have green poops sometimes, and sometimes mucousy too, and she strains and grunts to go to the bathroom.  So, Im wondering? Dairy... anyway... Im cutting it out along with soy and caffeine.  I know this thread is about the blues, and I say all this to say that I am getting blue now because she all of a sudden seems SO unhappy and SO inconsolable.  We've had 3 cranial sacral appts. and it was after the last one I noticed this trend beginning, so out of desperation I made another appt. for tomorrow... maybe she needs one more little adjustment?  her smaller sleep chunks have made me 10x more exhausted it feels like.  And all of a sudden she's crying so hard when she's not eating or sleeping.  there will only be a minute or two of quiet alert time and then she's unhappy again.  Makes me unhappy! :( 


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#20 of 22 Old 10-03-2011, 12:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi there,

 

I can totally relate to what you're going through. My first baby had digestive issues with dairy and wheat - I wouldn't call it an allergy but more of an intolerance as it was outgrown by age 2.  Anyway it was a huge source of stress and depression for me as my son slept horribly and was so fussy, and it took us until 6 mos of age (and intestinal bleeding at that point) to figure it out.  This was due to a totally clueless pediatrician and me being a first time mom and thinking I should listen to the Dr. ;) ANYWAY, just know that it can take up to 2 weeks for dairy to leave your body so give it a good amount of time before deciding whether or not it is making a difference. I know how frustrating it is to be looking for a solution and not be able to find one. Everyone just told me, you're doing great, he's just a fussy baby, he's a tough baby, etc. Not helpful! He would regularly wake 10+ times a night and would take 2 hours to settle to sleep at bedtime.  Once I figured out my diet he was a totally different baby and I regained my sanity.

 

Also just to mention, Wishgarden does make a colic remedy that seemed to help my daughter when she was having tummy troubles. You can take it internally or rub a bit on your nipple, if I remember correctly .
 

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Originally Posted by mamareba View Post

hi mamas~ 

 

My lo is 4 weeks on wednesday, I can't believe how fast the time has flown by.  Everything was going great, and I was feeling great until this past week.  Cassidy started getting fussier and fussier, and sleeping less (smaller chunks of sleep).  We are trying to figure out what it is.  She does have green poops sometimes, and sometimes mucousy too, and she strains and grunts to go to the bathroom.  So, Im wondering? Dairy... anyway... Im cutting it out along with soy and caffeine.  I know this thread is about the blues, and I say all this to say that I am getting blue now because she all of a sudden seems SO unhappy and SO inconsolable.  We've had 3 cranial sacral appts. and it was after the last one I noticed this trend beginning, so out of desperation I made another appt. for tomorrow... maybe she needs one more little adjustment?  her smaller sleep chunks have made me 10x more exhausted it feels like.  And all of a sudden she's crying so hard when she's not eating or sleeping.  there will only be a minute or two of quiet alert time and then she's unhappy again.  Makes me unhappy! :( 



 

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#21 of 22 Old 10-03-2011, 07:39 PM
 
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Thanks for your support gracecody... good to know Im not the only one.  I love dairy so even today, day one, has been hard. not to mention cutting out the coffee too! luckily I can nap as I please (this is my first babe) so that helps.  day one down and I managed to survive! YAY! hey, if anything it will help the baby weight go away faster! 


Fiancee to my sweetie Mattie heartbeat.gif, bonus mama to his little one Ayaa Rose (7!) lady.gif , and mama to rainbow1284.gif baby.gif  Cassidy Faye, born 9/5/11~

 

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#22 of 22 Old 10-04-2011, 11:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well I am right there with you, I am off the dairy now too after some fussy episodes here. I figured that if both of my other children couldn't tolerate dairy then it seems likely that this one may have trouble, too. So I'm going to just eliminate it for now and try to reintroduce it in several weeks and see how it goes. This way I won't be wondering every time he's fussy, if it's because of the dairy I've eaten.

 

You're absolutely right, it certainly may kick start your weight loss. :) I ended up 10 lbs below my original pre preg weight in about 4-5 months' time, largely due to eliminating dairy and learning a lot about food and nutrition in the process.

 

Hopefully you have a natural foods grocery store nearby as it makes it so easy to find substitutes. If you need any help coming up with subs let me know too as I've done this for a total of 4 years or so at this point. :)

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