Things they didn't tell you about - post partum stuff. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 10-01-2011, 07:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So, I'm four days post partum now and as a first time mama, I am learning what all of that means.

 

I thought we could have a thread to share all those little things that comprise the post-partum period...

 

Here's my list of stuff that surprised me and continues to surprise me.

 

  • Passing clots the size of Timbuktu
  • When babe is nursing on one side, the other boob leaks all over my shirt and pants
  • Those donut cushions aren't really that soft
  • Nursing sessions are timed from start of feeding to start of feeding (like contractions), not spaced from end to start, which makes them run into each other
  • I only get REM sleep now, which makes for interesting dreams
  • Dreams of forgetting to take the baby with me when I leave the house (I have never woken up so terrified in all my life!!)
  • I no longer care how I look when people come to visit (fortunately they don't either - they just want to see the baby)

 

  • I have never been so madly in love with another being in my life...

 

What's on your list?


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#2 of 13 Old 10-01-2011, 09:58 AM
 
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No one ever told me about pelvic organ prolapse ( which is weird because it happens to almost all new moms). I encourage all new moms to get the hab-it DVD and start working their pelvic floors!

I never knew about postpartum OCD. I got I bad with my first DD. I had horrible thoughts about my baby getting hurt. It was awful. Then I learned about obsessive thoughts and they went away!

I couldn't have guessed that breastfeeding would hurt so much, even with a good latch. That was so hard with DD1

I was actually surprised by how long it took to fall in love with DD1. With this babe it was immediate, but with my first it took a while.

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#3 of 13 Old 10-01-2011, 10:07 AM
 
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The hemorrhoids are worse than the second degree tear! Sneezing is really not any fun on those stitches, though.

The leaking milk really drives me nuts. Hate it. Did not expect it. Glad to see that someone else was shocked...

Oh, and I thought the swollen feet would go away after I gave birth, but they're even worse.

Babies can get horrible looking whiteheads. They're not dangerous at all.

Also, I had a really scary birth. I did not expect to be upset by it afterwards but I really am. greensad.gif If I would have realized that it was a possibility I would have lined up more resources in advance. Scrambling to find people to talk to while dealing with a newborn is not ideal.
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#4 of 13 Old 10-01-2011, 10:55 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kathrineg View Post

The hemorrhoids are worse than the second degree tear! Sneezing is really not any fun on those stitches, though.

The leaking milk really drives me nuts. Hate it. Did not expect it. Glad to see that someone else was shocked...

Oh, and I thought the swollen feet would go away after I gave birth, but they're even worse.

Babies can get horrible looking whiteheads. They're not dangerous at all.

Also, I had a really scary birth. I did not expect to be upset by it afterwards but I really am. greensad.gif If I would have realized that it was a possibility I would have lined up more resources in advance. Scrambling to find people to talk to while dealing with a newborn is not ideal.

There is a forum here called healing birth trauma. And of course you can talk to us! Also, there is a thread in this DDC with helpful resources for new moms. I'm sorry you are having a hard time processing your birth. It's life changing, isn't it? I remember thinking that birth was just a medical procedure! Ha! I was WRONG! It's probably the most emotional right of passage a woman can go through.

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#5 of 13 Old 10-01-2011, 12:13 PM
 
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-The first time, I was very surprised by the horrible night sweats.  No one had ever told me about that. 

-Another thing that surprised me the first time was just how long you still look pregnant for.  I've gone down faster this time, but still look 3 or 4 months pregnant.

-Even with a c-section, you can get hemorrhoids. 

-Same as scottishmommy, I am still surprised by how much breastfeeding can hurt at first.  Syd has a good latch, but her mouth is so tiny.  It's finally getting better though.

-The WEIRD dreams!  Especially the first few nights. 

-That babies have the uncanny sixth sense to know when Mommy is eating.  She could sleep for hours and not move a muscle, but the moment I have a plate of food in front of me, then she gets fussy, never fails. 

-That even after three babies, I am still amazed at everything she does, everything she is, and how much I love her.  I could have a hundred babies.


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#6 of 13 Old 10-01-2011, 12:44 PM
 
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This is a great thread! For me, it's a lot of the same - yes, the hemorroids are worse than my tear - so painful! Wearing maxi pads is almost as bad - why do they make them so wide!? I do not have have four inches between my legs! Even the 'slender' pads are so wide that they bunch up all funny and pinch my skin and are terribly uncomfortable.

 

The night sweats are weird - I go to bed freezing and wake up a few hours later to nurse the baby and I feel like a thousand degrees - I sleep in a near-constant pool of sweat and breast milk. 

 

Nursing hurts. I hate when people say things like "if it hurts, you're not doing right". Alexander has a pretty decent latch now, but I don't care how you slice it - after a day where I'm nursing nearly constantly, I'm in a lot of pain. 

 

And the fear of something happening to him is awful - my particular area of OCD concern is the car seat - that little pillow-type thing that fits around his head and is supposed to keep it positioned well is useless. I have to ride in the back seat with him so I can adjust his head from time to time... I just hate how how his head lolls to one side or the other, even though he's perfectly fine. 

 

I want him to close to me all the time, even when I'm tired or frustrated. The love was immediate, which I found to be really interesting - it's not like falling in love with an adult, that happens gradually and over time as you get to know them. He came into this world and hit me like a brick wall; it was that powerful. He could do anything and become anyone and nothing will ever diminish that love. I wasn't prepared for the intensity of it. 

 

I felt my life was perfect and complete with my husband and I - but now there's this extra layer of love and happiness that I couldn't possibly do without. That took me by surprise too. And how my husband and I have further bonded - we've always had a happy household and good relationship, but there is even more laughter here now. Pretty amazing. 


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#7 of 13 Old 10-01-2011, 01:25 PM
 
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This is my third time around so I don't have that same perspective (shock! ha) as I did the first time but I never can get over how unglamorous the postpartum period is. I realize just what it means to be truly comfortable in my skin, and another layer of modesty has been forever removed! :)

 

I echo someone else who said that bonding isn't always instantaneous, or it isn't always love at first sight. I was giddy with happiness when I got to feel the baby's head emerging and hold him for the first time but I fell deeply in love with him yesterday, which was day five. :)

 

 

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#8 of 13 Old 10-01-2011, 05:46 PM
 
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so glad to hear I'm not the only one with fears about something happening to baby! It was making me nuts last week but this being my second week ppd I'm doing better. I was having all of hear awful scenarios playing out in my head and I was starting to think something was wrong with me! Then I remembered doing the same thing with my other 2 (oh how we forget the negative things so easily!) and I was able to redirect my thoughts. It must be some kind of natural instinct to protect or babies.

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#9 of 13 Old 10-01-2011, 06:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rareimer View Post

-The first time, I was very surprised by the horrible night sweats.  No one had ever told me about that. 


 

THAT's what that is!! I thought the weather was just being weirder than usual because I'm not really getting outside much these days! LOL

 

Thank you, Robyn! 

 

And the food thing!! YES! Hilarious... I can put him down and do the dishes, or laundry, but the second I want to eat, so does he. Jeez! What is that??!


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#10 of 13 Old 10-01-2011, 06:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kitchensqueen View Post

Wearing maxi pads is almost as bad - why do they make them so wide!? I do not have have four inches between my legs! Even the 'slender' pads are so wide that they bunch up all funny and pinch my skin and are terribly uncomfortable.

 

yeahthat.gif

 

My midwife gave me these fancy mesh underpants eyesroll.gif and they were huge! It was so hard to get comfortable after a while, so I finally switched back to my normal underwear and it feels SO much better!!


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#11 of 13 Old 10-01-2011, 08:25 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kitchensqueen View Post

 

And the fear of something happening to him is awful - my particular area of OCD concern is the car seat - that little pillow-type thing that fits around his head and is supposed to keep it positioned well is useless. I have to ride in the back seat with him so I can adjust his head from time to time... I just hate how how his head lolls to one side or the other, even though he's perfectly fine. 

 

 


This. I am struggling with PP OCD, and the car seat is the worst thing for me. I took out the head rest because it was pushing my daughter's head forward instead of holding it in place. She seems to always lean to one side, so I put a rolled up receiving blanket on that side, but then I freak out about it unrolling somehow over her face. I'm afraid to go anywhere because I hate the car seat situation. The OCD and depression was so bad with my son, I'm still not sure how I survived it. I recently got in touch with my local coordinator for Postpartum Support International. I'm not going to do it alone this time. It's already easier because I can recognize the thoughts as irrational, which makes me feel better. I dehydrated my placenta, but it's still in a bag in the refrigerator. I need to grind and encapsulate it, but I haven't had a free non-nursing moment. I'm hoping that will help once I start taking the pills.

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by Mommel View Post

 

yeahthat.gif

 

My midwife gave me these fancy mesh underpants eyesroll.gif and they were huge! It was so hard to get comfortable after a while, so I finally switched back to my normal underwear and it feels SO much better!!

 


Ah, the mesh panties. I loved them after my c-section. I was so scared of my regular underwear rubbing the incision. I wore those things for way too long. redface.gif This time, however, I used depends for the first 2 days and then switched to my regular underwear. Much better. smile.gif

 

 


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#12 of 13 Old 10-02-2011, 02:11 PM
 
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For those using disposable pads, the always inifnity overnight pads with wings are very narrow and flexible while still being super absorbant (the pad is actually a lot of smaller pads connected together, so it's got lots of absorbant edges and extra flexibility).  I personally prefer cloth, but use disposable pads for the first couple of weeks and of all the brands I've tried, the always infinities (not the regular always brand) have been the best.

 

Night sweats- oh ugh.  I had them the worst with my first babe, and I'm not sure if it was due to the c/s or what, but OMG it was horrible.  I kept a pile of dh's big flannel shirts next to the bed and just kept peeling them off and putting on new ones as the night went on.  It seemed like between the breastmilk and the sweats I was never warm/dry for long!

 

clothing- I hate that nothing fits.  And that as my belly gets smaller it becomes more and mroe clear how "large" other bits have gotten... my thighs and hips are significantly bigger than they were pre-baby so even though my waist is getting smaller, my early pregnancy pants don't fit!  And it's not like I can run out to the thrift store to get newish ones.  Right now I have one pair of pants, one pair of sweats, and one skirt that fit.  With the weather turning cold I need more!

 

breastfeeding- I've been pregnant, breastfeeding, or both for 7 years now and the early newborn weeks STILL hurt.  Good latch, good everything, but dang.... newborns suck like hoover vacuums and there is NO WAY your nipples wont hurt after 24/7 with a newborn nursling.  It gets better as the babes calm down a bit and the time between nursing sessions lengthens a bit, and as nipples get used to the individual babe, but dang.  The first week is just not candlelight and lacy nursing tops like the covers of breastfeeding books might suggest.

 

Pelic Organ Prolapse- I'm waiting to see how this pregnancy/birth has affected my prolapse.  Right now I'm sooooo symptomatic and it's killing me.  :(  I'd sort of forgotten how much pregnancy resolves my symtpoms, and how much worse they get right after birth.  I know I need to wait and see where I am in a month or two, but it's easy to get depressed right now... so many hormones going nuts, so many organs moving around, so little sleep... but it's still hard.

 

siblings- I'd also forgotten how protective I'd be about the baby.  My other kiddos need their mama time too, and they adore their new sister, but I am beyonjd touched out and very short tempered.  I remember this, and remember it getting better, but honestly don't remember how long it took before I had enough energy/confidence/hormonal balance to deal evenly with all the kiddos at the same time.  I feel badly that I'm not nurturing the 6, 4, and 2 year old as they deserve, but just feeling that doesn't translate to having more patience or being ok with the non-stop touching of me/the babe.  DH goes back to work tomorrow and I'm sort of dreading how the day will shape up!


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#13 of 13 Old 10-02-2011, 04:15 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wombatclay View Post

clothing- I hate that nothing fits.  And that as my belly gets smaller it becomes more and mroe clear how "large" other bits have gotten... my thighs and hips are significantly bigger than they were pre-baby so even though my waist is getting smaller, my early pregnancy pants don't fit!  And it's not like I can run out to the thrift store to get newish ones.  Right now I have one pair of pants, one pair of sweats, and one skirt that fit.  With the weather turning cold I need more!

 

This and the fact that I didn't want to spend money on maternity underwear so now my regular underwear is all stretched out.  It's not like I could send hubby out to pick out more for me.  I went yesterday and picked up undies and a couple pairs of stretchy pants.  Jeans are just not on my list of things to wear right now so the maternity jeans that have gone through 2 pregnancies will have to do....and those are faded and really worn as well.  Don't even get me talking about tops.....

 

breastfeeding- I've been pregnant, breastfeeding, or both for 7 years now and the early newborn weeks STILL hurt.  Good latch, good everything, but dang.... newborns suck like hoover vacuums and there is NO WAY your nipples wont hurt after 24/7 with a newborn nursling.  It gets better as the babes calm down a bit and the time between nursing sessions lengthens a bit, and as nipples get used to the individual babe, but dang.  The first week is just not candlelight and lacy nursing tops like the covers of breastfeeding books might suggest.

 

That's the exact same thing with me.  If babe is too eager and accidentally latches onto only part of the nipple....(because mine aren't located in the middle of my breast anymore soooo if he's sitting in my lap......hopefully you get the picture.)

 

siblings- I'd also forgotten how protective I'd be about the baby.  My other kiddos need their mama time too, and they adore their new sister, but I am beyonjd touched out and very short tempered.  I remember this, and remember it getting better, but honestly don't remember how long it took before I had enough energy/confidence/hormonal balance to deal evenly with all the kiddos at the same time.  I feel badly that I'm not nurturing the 6, 4, and 2 year old as they deserve, but just feeling that doesn't translate to having more patience or being ok with the non-stop touching of me/the babe.  DH goes back to work tomorrow and I'm sort of dreading how the day will shape up!

 

Mine are the same age as yours.  I also admire all you moms who have their babes and then your hubby or partner has to go back to work soon after birth.  I consider myself very lucky that my husband gets parental leave and still paid his salary (he's in the navy).  I really truly admire you.



 


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