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Currently nursing Mommas. Do you plan on weaning? Powering through? Thoughts? Plans?

3K views 68 replies 38 participants last post by  mariacm 
#1 ·
This pregnancy was a complete surprise for us, so while I have had plans to start night weaning for some time, there was no "time limit" so to say
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But now with my BFP, and one of my only symptoms being very sore nipples, especially when DS is nursing at night; I am counting the days until we can begin night weaning. DS is teething right now, but as soon as I see a let up in the coming teeth (he's almost got all his baby teeth already) I will start the process.

When we began our breast-feeding journey I never put a time limit on how long we would nurse, I just knew that we would nurse until we were through. Now with a pregnancy underway, and considerable less help from DH due to his new longer work days away from home, I know I need to do this.

After we get night-weaning completed, I am thinking that I will fully wean just to have my body back to myself before starting breastfeeding all over again.

Mommas that are currently nursing; or Mommas that have been through this before, what are thoughts? Plans? Ideas? Suggestions? Are you planning on weaning your nursling before your new LO comes? Or powering through? Stopping and then tandem nursing?
 
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#52 ·
DS drinks OJ and water during the day, with the occasional bit of cow's milk too. As far as juice goes, I don't mind him having orange juice because of the vitamin C and it just seems to be a bit more than sugar water, which I think apple juice mostly is. We did have a few trial and error with sippy cups, now his favorites are the take and toss sort and these nuk ones with handles and a flip up straw.

Last night went pretty well, he did nurse before bed, but broke off hysterical, whether due to lack of milk, or change in taste, I couldn't say. He nursed again when he woke up at 4 a.m. without complaint, and when I brought him to bed with us, woke a few times upset but I didn't offer the breast and he was happy with just cuddles. It makes me sad, as I wanted weaning to be a happier time for him, but at least it is for a good reason!
 
#53 ·
i hate saying this, but im praying my DS self-weans. He will be 3 next month, and i don't want to actively wean him, nor do i really know how, he sure loves his boobie! But, strangely, i've had more milk than before, which I find very odd. anyways, im just hoping he does it on his own!
 
#54 ·
DD has done well with drinking water from a straw cup and now an open cup, thank goodness. We had to introduce water early (about 10months) when I went back to work and she wouldn't take BM or formula or milk of any kind in any kind of cup or bottle. We were worried about her getting dehydrated on my long days at work so DH worked hard at getting her used to water the straw cup. He mainly turned it into a game. Making funny sounds at the end of a drink, taking turns drinking from the cup, giving some water to teddy and 'hop hop' (her bunny) to drink. that kind of thing. It worked.

I have a question about supplemental milks. We've never really pushed DD to drink any other milk recently, as I figure BM has been enough. She will take some coconut milk now in an open cup with dinner (about 1/3 cup). As my milk starts to dry up, should I be encouraging her to drink more of this? I just want her to be getting enough fat and calcium. Any thoughts? DD is 19 months now.
 
#55 ·
I'm glad to see this thread as well! My daughter is 2 years 4 months and still nursing. She has ALWAYS been a comfort nurser and used to be on my boobs fairly constantly through the day and night. It got to a point about a year ago where I had to forcefully cut it back for my own health/sanity. (And luckily, night weaning happened very naturally a few months later when she asked to sleep in her own bed in her room.) Nursing has been great since, for both of us. Now she nurses about four times a day, which have become fairly ritualized. I'd prefer not to tandem nurse, but I have no idea how this will end. I'm hoping it will happen on its own, very gently and naturally, well before the baby comes. There's no Plan B yet...
 
#56 ·
I'm also glad to see this thread!

I had supply issues with my son - delayed lactogenesis with a month of feed/pump/supplement/feed/pump/supplement - also 90mg domperidone a day once I was far enough postpartum - until my milk was sufficient, and even then it was never robust. DS took to solids like gangbusters and while he loves the boob like crazy, we've nightweaned and I quit pumping at work at 13 months - so he's really only getting a tiny quantity over 3 nursings a day now at 14.5 months.

I'm afraid of trying to tandem nurse when I barely had an adequate supply for one. I know, I know, more stimulation - but DUDE, I spent 2 out of every 3 hours around the clock hooked up to either the baby or a pump in those early weeks so I'm not sure more stimulation is really going to increase my supply that much. I don't think that this kid is going to wean himself even if my supply cuts down to literally nothing... but I hate to wean him so young when he loves it so much.

Anyone else have supply issues or been through this before with another kiddo?
 
#57 ·
Mamacolleen: are you avoiding cows milk? Since my DS (6yo) drinks cows milk, I offer it to DD and she does like it more lately. Its no BM but my understanding is nutritionally not all that dissimilar. He also drinks occasional soymilk and so she does from time to time. He and DH HATE coconut milk or store-bought hemp or almond milk, so I find I don't bother buying it. I do sometimes make nutmilk (mostly almond) and will do more pregnant as its a low-sugar but satisfying thing I can drink (assuming I develop GD again and can't drink any juice or cowmilk or sweetened milk substitutes) and I imagine the kids will want some.

We are just starting to make kefir, I am thinking of offering that to the kids to see if they like it. Maybe mixed with juice? DS also loves goat milk and maybe we'll get some and see if DD likes it as well. I have a small fridge, a small budget, and do all my shopping on foot so I am not excited about lugging home multiple types of "milk" for everyone in the family! Anyway... long winded way of saying, maybe try a few different things and then look at what she likes and supplement the nutrition in other ways?

DS hated all milk substitutes during his second year, but loved full-fat unhomogenized plain cows milk yogurt. So I used to give him that every day, with some flaxseed oil mixed in, since we were nursing less and less as that year went along. Trying to do the same with DD who now often asks for yogurt or cottage cheese.
 
#58 ·
I am just curious.... Many of your are saying that you have no desire to tandem nurse or don't plan on tandem nursing. What is it that turns you off about it? Is it the unkown? I am just wondering bcs I know it isn't for everyone but I absolutely love it and am really looking forward to it again (hoping I get the chance). There are things about it that were a little annoying (ds1 not eating anything solid and getting breast milk poop and constantly nursing BUT out of all of my kids that have tandemed he is the only one that has done that). The bennefits for me so outweighed any of the challenges. The bonding between the 2 nurslings and then between me was so strong and awesome even while the baby was in utero. No problems with engorgement in the beginning bcs the toddler takes care of that. The health bennefits to the toddler so they are less likely to get sick and get the baby sick.... The list goes on. I highly recommend Adventures in tandem nursing, it is a great book.

I am not trying to judge but just wondering why many of you are choosing not to do it. It almost sounds to me like the mom that has never nursed that would say oh I will never nurse my baby when they are THAT old. Sometimes that mom ends up nursing a toddler and sometimes not but they pass judgement before they try it. So I am just curious what it is about tandem nursing that seems so unmanageable?
 
#59 ·
theboysmama - good question. I think I am going to borrow that book from my La Leche group - I've seen it crop up a few times now so it must be a good read! I am not totally against the idea of tandem nursing but at the same time ds will be 3 when this lo comes along & in a lot of ways I think he will be old enough to wean. I've never liked the idea of forcing the weaning & was relieved when I got my bfp as I was actually in the process of weaning so that we could take the next step with fertility treatments & the new drug we were introducing was not compatible with bfing. I guess for me I'm not completely decided either way. If ds weans naturally while I'm pregnant I won't be overly sad about it & if he's still bfing when the baby comes along then I guess we'll tandem. Nursing a child this old is uncharted territory in my group of people irl so I have nothing to compare it to.
 
#60 ·
I am planning to take it one day at a time. I have read most of Mothering Your Nursing Toddler. I agree with her philosophy, but I try very hard not to let myself get hung up on a particular way of doing things. I find that if I expect myself and DS to conform to a mold (whatever that mold is) I am just asking for trouble!

That being said, though, I think tandem nursing would really benefit us. DS seems so young still (He'll be 1 on Sunday) and I just can't bear the idea of weaning him. We recently night-weaned him--I just started sending DH to him. Most nights he drifts off to sleep easily when his binky is replaced. It was the right decision for us, as DS began taking a renewed interest in nursing during the day. More than ever I just don't feel like he's ready.

Again..it's a day by day thing for us. I'm not opposed either way.
 
#61 ·
I tandem nursed my two oldest, now 7 and 5. They were 22 months apart and I nursed DS all through that pg'cy. I did night wean but mostly due to exhaustion and the fact that I knew he was ready. I LOVED tandem nursing!!! I think it went a long way in really cementing the relationship between DS1 and DD. They are best friends to this day. I loved being able to still nurse him since he was all about the boob. He lost a lot of my undivided attention after the baby and I felt like nursing was something I could give him that would keep us close and make him feel like part of the process with the baby... not an outsider looking in. To this day he REMEMBERS weaning (he was 2 1/2) and isn't thrilled about it and I'm really glad he doesn't associate that memory with his sister.

Im nursing my 13 month old DS now and I intend to keep going all through this pg'cy too. These guys will also be 22 months apart. My mw is fully supportive and I'm just extra careful to make sure I'm eating well and taking plenty of vitamins. I'm so glad that they'll be able to share that special bond too and that I won't lose our nursing cuddle time when the new baby comes. We have been night weaning but I actually started that before I knew I was pg just because it was getting out of control (every 30 minutes all night long and then non-stop from 4am on) and neither of us were sleeping.

So, yes, I'm powering through and I'm so excited to tandem nurse again!!! :D
 
#62 ·
I won't be tandem nursing, but not because i don't want to. I have low supply, and we had to supplement dd with donor milk at the breast using a Lact-Aid nursing system until she was one year old and eating more solids. So, not likely that I can continue to nurse her and still have enough for the baby. We'll likely have to supplement again ...
 
#63 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by theboysmama View Post

No problems with engorgement in the beginning bcs the toddler takes care of that.
Oh, and a HUGE second to that!! I never had to wait for my milk to come in with DD because it was already there. No engorgement. No sore, cracked nipples after birth. It was awesome!! I was actually dreading the early nursing days when DS2 was born since I wasn't nursing already and I hate feeling engorged and sore! It was so much easier nursing DD after remembering with first few weeks with DS1! None of the usual first week issues at all!
 
#64 ·
Quote: Originally posted by theboysmama
Many of your are saying that you have no desire to tandem nurse or don't plan on tandem nursing. What is it that turns you off about it?
Partly supply concerns (I had to supplement DD) and partly just remembering how exhausting it was to be nursing like 40 minutes on, 20 minutes off pretty much constantly for weeks (and then throw pumping in there, it was awful) and not being able to imagine where or when I would fit the other nursling in.
 
#65 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by theboysmama View Post

I am not trying to judge but just wondering why many of you are choosing not to do it. It almost sounds to me like the mom that has never nursed that would say oh I will never nurse my baby when they are THAT old. Sometimes that mom ends up nursing a toddler and sometimes not but they pass judgement before they try it. So I am just curious what it is about tandem nursing that seems so unmanageable?
I don't have any problems with tandem nursing... I tend to get "touched-out" easily and if I have a 3yo & a newborn bfing at the same time I honestly don't know how well I will take it. I LOVE breastfeeding, don't get me wrong- I'm just a really private person and I need time alone. That would be really intense for me and a bit of sensory overload. If my daughter does end up tandem bfing with the new baby we'll just have to have rules so that I don't lose it and have a mini breakdown (not trying to be dramatic, I've seriously cried before because I just need to be left alone). So I'm just taking it one day at a time and trying to mentally prepare myself just in case that is what happens.
 
#66 ·
I will tandem nurse if DS is still going when the babe arrives. I figure we've already made it well past societal norms (he is coming up on 5yo, we nurse at bedtime and first thing in the morning about 75% of the time) so I had might as well not worry about doing something different now.

Nursing an older kid is lovely in the sense that he can be reasoned with. If I say, "My breasts are hurting a little bit, we can't nurse for very long tonight," he is disappointed, but does not get upset the way he would have when he was 2 or 3. So I am willing to keep going through pregnancy if he still wants to. I've been doing "don't offer, sometimes refuse" for a couple of years now! We shall see what happens when the milk changes.
 
#67 ·
My dd and I had made a plan to wean once she turned 4. Well, that just happened and she's kept true to her word! I keep asking her if she's sure, if she feels okay about it and she says she is happy to move on. I am a little shocked. I'm glad we made it to 4 years and that I get to experience a pregnancy without nursing since I nursed ds through dd's pregnancy. :)
 
#68 ·
I'm pretty sure we'll be tandem nursing. I want to pick up Adventures in Tandem Nursing. DD might surprise me by weaning during the pregnancy but I HIGHLY DOUBT IT as she is still very much into nursing. We are in the process of night weaning and nursing less and less out and about and more "once we get home" but she nurses no less then 6 times a day at least. I'm very comfortable with the idea of nursing them both. We'll just see how it goes though.
 
#69 ·
Just typed a long post and it got deleted! Ugh.

Ok, so I didn't want to tandem bc I had supply issues with DS. I have hormonal probs and had to take fenugreek and pump to stimulate for months and DS didn't gain well from 2-4 mos and 9-12 mos. I'm worried about the same thing happening with the newborn if I tandem.

I wanted DS to nurse til age 2. He'll be just about 2 when the baby comes. He's very attached to the boob, so I don't see him weaning unless my milk dries up during preg. He still nurses 6-7 times a day. I think supply has already dropped, bc he is switching sides really often. He also always plays with the right side while nursing on the left, which I take to mean he's trying to get a better letdown.

I'm attracted to tandeming bc of the benefits for DS nursing longer, the sibling closeness, no sore nips from newborn nursing... but it also sounds really tiring! At this point, I'm feeling like we'll just see what happens. I dont' want to commit to weaning or tandeming I guess. lol.
 
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