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Currently nursing Mommas. Do you plan on weaning? Powering through? Thoughts? Plans?

3K views 68 replies 38 participants last post by  mariacm 
#1 ·
This pregnancy was a complete surprise for us, so while I have had plans to start night weaning for some time, there was no "time limit" so to say
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But now with my BFP, and one of my only symptoms being very sore nipples, especially when DS is nursing at night; I am counting the days until we can begin night weaning. DS is teething right now, but as soon as I see a let up in the coming teeth (he's almost got all his baby teeth already) I will start the process.

When we began our breast-feeding journey I never put a time limit on how long we would nurse, I just knew that we would nurse until we were through. Now with a pregnancy underway, and considerable less help from DH due to his new longer work days away from home, I know I need to do this.

After we get night-weaning completed, I am thinking that I will fully wean just to have my body back to myself before starting breastfeeding all over again.

Mommas that are currently nursing; or Mommas that have been through this before, what are thoughts? Plans? Ideas? Suggestions? Are you planning on weaning your nursling before your new LO comes? Or powering through? Stopping and then tandem nursing?
 
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#3 ·
I am planning to power through for as long as I can, but my nursing kiddo is 4.5yo and only nurses twice a day -- max -- when I am home. Plus I get one week off each month when I travel for work, and I can talk to him about it if I am sore. He knows that I make the call, and so he adjusts his latch, sticks to one side, etc. if I say so.

I suspect he may wean himself as I progress through the pregnancy, and I am happy to let him make that call now that we have gone this long.

I have no idea what I would do if I were still in the nursing all day long phase, sorry. I can only imagine how painful that is.
 
#4 ·
My son is still nursing sporadically at 22 months. I am a big fan of child led weaning but I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to be able to do this. He is getting really lazy with his latch and it's starting to hurt! We're on a don't offer/don't refuse system right now and he really only asks once a day or so. I'm hoping it won't be long before he just forgets all together.

I was still nursing my dd when I got pregnant with my son but she stopped soon after because my milk really cut down to nothing.
 
#5 ·
DS is 22 months old and right now I am planning on pushing through, but so far the pain is not too bad. In addition I may try the "Don't offer, don't refuse" technique at some point. I am hoping he will wean during the pregnancy but I am remaining open to tandem nursing. Right now I am ready to be done with night nursing!! I let him nurse a little but then I ask if we can be done, he usually switches sides at that point and then I ask again in a minute or two and he goes back to sleep. What I need to figure out is why it is getting so hot in the room at night, because I think that is what is making him wake up!
 
#6 ·
We have been on "don't offer, don't refuse" for a long time now and that has been great for us. DD is 16 (almost 17 months now) and is also teething which means she nurses way more and constantly during the night, ok not really but my nipples feel that way. My plan was to let her nurse as long as she wanted, she can wean herself. I also didn't plan on getting pregnant right now either though. I am flip flopping on what to do, one part of me wants a nursing break in between these two kiddos and does not want to nurse a toddler and newborn. another part of me does not want to cut short one of my favorite times with my daughter. I'm almost interested to see if she will stop all on her own, as i hear a lot of children do when mama is pregnant. I hope that she is young enough to not remember this and feel resentment toward her sibling for taking the boobies :)
 
#7 ·
I actually was in the weaning process when I conceived. We were supposed to be adding femara (I was already on clomid) at the end of February & were taking a 2 month break, partly to wean. I nightweaned him a year ago but he was still nursing to sleep, in the morning & during the day. Anyway, I had already eliminated the morning session & before bed so it's just during the day upon request that we nurse now - which means some days frequently & some days not at all.

I think we will continue like this. I'm actually kind of relieved 'cause I didn't really want to force the weaning. Part of me would not be disappointed if my milk changed with the pregnancy & he weaned on his own as a result - many of my friends have had this happen with their toddlers.

Has anyone noticed an increase in nursing requests since conceiving? I don't know if my milk is different (ds doesn't say) but he's suddently asking a lot more & wanting to nurse for much longer sessions.
 
#8 ·
I'm nursing DD who will turn 3 while I'm pregnant. I have no idea what my plan is yet. I don't mind the thought of tandem nursing. I feel sick and tired a lot lately, but boobs don't hurt yet. Any way to keep milk supply up while pregnant? We should definitely keep this thread going in the coming months, because I barely know anyone in real life who breastfeeds, certainly not a toddler while pregnant, so I won't have anyone else to talk to about this!
 
#9 ·
My daughter is 2yrs & 4mths now so it is only a matter of time... I've been trying to cut back slowly, but not so much as to WEAN her, just to give me a bit of a break. I don't think she'll end up nursing through the entire pregnancy and I kind of hope she doesn't. I would like to be able to focus on helping this new one learn to nurse when it gets here and not have to worry about sharing. She's not a good sharer anyway so that might in itself be a WHOLE other issue, lol. I'm not pushing it, but I'm ever so slightly nudging it. My nipples are starting to get slightly tender when she latches and things rubbing against them make me jump, so I may not be able to do it much longer if it gets worse... I just hope that I don't have to make her stop bc of sensitivity issues and that we can end our bfing relationship on a good note. We've had a great run though :)
 
#10 ·
This is the second time I'll be pregnant while nursing. The first time the pain wasn't too bad, my first two are 22 months apart, so I was glad to let him keep going. He stopped on his own about 4 months in. It made me very sad, I had hoped he'd nurse longer (for a lot of reasons) but he'd never been very attached to it, so once my milk presumably dried up, he was no longer interested.

I feel like this time will be different. DS2 is 2.5 now, but a quite attached nurser. I never offer, but don't usually refuse if he asks. But his day starts out with climbing in our bed and nursing and cuddling for about 30 minutes. I know he gets a lot of milk, I still am leaking a bit, but I'm thinking even if it dries up he'll keep it up for the comfort factor. He's just got a different personality. My plan is to let him do what he wants/needs about it. If he stops, I'll be ok, if he keeps going and we tandem, that's fine too.

But, again I've been lucky without too much pain. We've had a couple instances when things hurt and I asked him to switch sides or re-latch and he was really good about it. He even apologized once for hurting me and said he'd be nice. :)
 
#11 ·
DS is 14 1/2 months and while I really would like him to wean during this pregnancy, I am not forcing the issue either. He is asking a lot more often, and frankly I do try to put him off sometimes, or offer a solid food first, because it is painful, my supply isn't what it was, and my "morning" sickness is far worse while and right after nursing.

He is nursing once during the day, before bed, and once (or more) at night. I cut out the morning session as it was the easiest to offer him a solid meal. I'm reading Adventures in Tandem Nursing at the moment. to try and build up some courage to power through if I need to, and get ideas on what to do exactly.

I have to wonder though, DS's poops yesterday were the thick creamy peanut butter consitency they used to be when EBF which is really odd. I didn't expect any changes in that area until later in pregnancy when the colostrum starts coming in.
 
#12 ·
I plan on weaning, I just am not sure how I am going to go about it. I nursed Elle half way through my pregnancy with Meadow and I nursed Meadow until I was about 18 weeks with Azaliah. Elle was already older and easy to wean with a little encouragement. Meadow was already night weaned (on her own) for months before I got pg so all it took was one day and night away from home on a womans conference for church and she was weaned. Azaliah is by far the hardest. She loves to nurse more than her sisters ever did. She is not at all night weaned and loves to snuggle and nurse whenever I will let her during the day. I have been cutting back on the daytime nursing and honestly if she would night wean I would be very content with that for now. I am just not sure how we are going to do it. She screams her head off when I refuse her at night. I end up giving in because I can't stand to hear her cry like that.

That all being said I am definatly planning on weaning. I have no desire to tandem nurse.....

Amy
 
#13 ·
DS is almost 18 months and has been night weaned since around 12 months (thank goodness...so nice to get sleep at night again!!) I am kind of hoping that he will want to wean during this pregnancy, though that's pretty optimistic considering he's a pretty attached nurser. I know my supply isn't what it used to be--I don't think he's really getting that much at all, but nurses mostly for comfort/intimacy. He'll turn 2 two months before this little one arrives, so I'm thinking that if he doesn't wean during the pregnancy, I may cut him off around his birthday. That wasn't exactly my plan, but I'm not sure I want to tandem nurse and he's not a great sharer either. Maybe that's too soon though, and he'll see the baby nurse and want to revert? I don't know. We'll probably make it up as we go along, like most things post baby. Everything sounds better "in theory"!
 
#14 ·
Mama_Wolf- Our DS and new LO's are exactly the same ages :)

Since I was the one who posed this question, I guess I'll give it my best shot with what "we" (I) plan on doing. DS is cutting 3 of his last teeth now, all at once. That said considering, he's not actually being as clingy and wanting to nurse as much as previous times due to teething. This will complete his little mouth, except for the 2 year old molars. As long as they don't start coming in, I plan on beginning to night wean. I am planning on using a modified version of Dr. Jay Gordon's night weaning plan. But for now I am nursing a little then telling DS "Mommas milk is asleep" when we need to stop. Last night I cut out the middle nursing session (around 3am) all together. There were tears, and grumpiness, but we got through it.

DS, Sam, nurses 4-5 times a day and anywhere between 1-3 times a night.
 
#15 ·
I am nursing DD who is 17 months a few times a day and will continue as long as we can/she wants to.

My son was 14 months when I got pregnant with my daughter, and I had to wean him at about 16 months because I was just too morning (noon and night) sick and sore to nurse...my body let me know that it could not support 3 of us! So we'll see how this one progresses! Good luck to you all!

Helen
 
#16 ·
With my last pregnancy, I nursed my son until I was about 4 months pregnant and he was 28 months old. I must admit that I was glad when he weaned.

My current "baby" is 19 months old, and I'm still nursing. We will see how far we get. Nothing is set in stone at this stage.
 
#17 ·
I night weaned my son (now 25mos) three times in the last year. Once in the spring (I forget exactly when), once in August (new roof + skylight installation meant a different bedroom for 3 nights and that set him back), and once in December after two back-to-back GI bugs (I nursed him in the middle of the night then because nothing else stayed down). He comes to our bed in the morning and goes right back to sleep with "hands on skin" (his hands, my belly) if it's before 6 am. If it's after 6 he can nurse and sometimes goes back to sleep.

I would be fine if he weaned right now (although I'd miss some aspects of it). My breasts are sore. He is not at all interested in giving up the three remaining "milkies" (bedtime, morning, naptime). We've been talking about weaning for months, he knows that a new baby gets first dibs, and that I'd like him to start cutting back. But I haven't got the heart to push it. He has always been a high-need-to-suck kid and the hands-on-skin is really important to him as a subsitute -- it's the only thing that calms him in a situation where a younger child would need to nurse (big injury, illness, interrupted sleep cycle).

When we came home from a party the other night and successfully transferred him sleeping from the car to the bed, he woke up a few hours later and basically called me on the fact that he hadn't nursed yet. "You said we'd do milkies when we got home."

I don't know what to do about it -- my local LLL is basically useless in this respect as it's only a couple other moms and they are pregnant and planning to tandem nurse.

I think I would be okay tandem nursing if I knew I would have support from DH and other family members. My mom is the only one who would support that decision, and she's kind of crazy in other regards, so it's not much help. DH thinks I can wean him by "just stopping". He doesn't understand how cruel that would be if DS isn't ready. And he isn't willing to read anything on it.
 
#18 ·
So glad to see other nursing moms of toddlers..don't know many IRL. My son is 2.5 and still nurses often during the day and night. I babysit a 7mo old and every time I sit down to give her a bottle he has to nurse..usually I will hold her on one side while he nurses from the other..but lately he has been getting aggressive and trying to push her away so he can have the other side..so I am really worried about how tandem nursing would go. So far my nipples are not at all sore (that's never been a symptom for me) and I think I will have a very hard time weaning him. I will definatly wait until I am further along and sure this pregnancy will "stick" before I make any moves. I LOVE the idea of tandem nursing but due to my sons personality I am hoping he self weans during the pregnancy ;)
 
#19 ·
So glad to see this thread! I was going to start it myself. DD is two years old and still nursing. She's down to 3-5 times during the day, more if she's sick or scared. We nightweaned at 18 months. The nightweaning helped a lot, and I'm so glad to have that done. I'm a paramedic, and I couldn't be losing so much sleep due to her nursing, and then go to work for a 12 hour shift and function. Since getting pregnant, it hurts immensely when she latches on. I also think that my supply (which was low to begin with, we used the Lact-Aid system at the breast for her first year with donor milk and formula) is tanking. I think she'd nurse forever, just for comfort even! We'll need to see what happens. No plans to enforce weaning. My guess is that things will happen in their own time ... meaning in DD's own time. Glad to have the support here!

My best friend is also pregant (two weeks ahead of me) and she's still nursing her two year old. Heck, most of the women in my neighbourhood nurse through their pregnancies and then go on to tandem nurse their older children and the infant. In my case, I won't have enough milk, so DD will have to be done by then.
 
#20 ·
Well I plan on night weaning DD (again
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) and letting her nurse through the pregnancy otherwise. She just turned 2 and still nurses a lot. I am hoping that she will slow down a bit but we'll see. I don't offer but don't refuse. She can be quite timid in some settings and often asks to nurse then and when she's tired. I may start an only at home rule though. We'll see how this goes. Latching on is really uncomfortable so I hope this doesn't get worse. The days surrounding ovulation while I was on clomid were terribly painful though and this is nowhere near that. I am almost certain that she won't wean on her own accord during the pregnancy. She's a boob girl!
 
#21 ·
I don't know anyone else IRL that is nursing a babe as old as mine (and he is only 14 months!) but I know women who have in the past. None have tandem nursed. Not that there is any real pressure (from anyone to wean, but that is because probably they don't ever really see him nurse, and at 14 months he is still sort of a baby), but it is getting more uncomfortable physically. We actually are the reverse, I limit the nursing as much during the day as I can (then he is willing to accept other food or cuddles as an alternative) and I do let him nurse at night - usually it is 1-2 times because it is easier than the alternatives. During the day, he might nurse once . . . depends on what we are doing.

I wish he were able to understand the "boobies go to sleep" thing. He does understand boobies all gone though.
 
#22 ·
DD is 20 months and still feeds quite a bit. We are slowly nightweaning and just since I got my BFP she has started sleeping better (7 hour stretches without waking). So I hope that that continues steadily and that soon she won't need milk at night. Will play the rest of the pg by ear and just see what happens. I don't think DD will be ready to wean for quite a while and I would like for us to make it to the 2yr mark anyway. Bit apprehensive about tandem feeding...would be fine with it at home I think and maybe DD would be old enough by then that she would be happy with only feeding at home?
 
#24 ·
I am still nursing my 16 month old son and my nipples hurt so bad! Also he nurses a lot at night, especially lately because he is teething, so i am also very tired. I wouldn't mind if he weaned but i think i will keep at it if i can (maybe try night weaning though after teething) because i have such awful oversupply that i think tandem nursing would help me. I had mastitis 25 times with the first and it just stopped for good about 2 months ago so i really don't want that to happen again!
 
#25 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by VTtoPSUmama View Post

I am still nursing my 16 month old son and my nipples hurt so bad! Also he nurses a lot at night, especially lately because he is teething, so i am also very tired. I wouldn't mind if he weaned but i think i will keep at it if i can (maybe try night weaning though after teething) because i have such awful oversupply that i think tandem nursing would help me. I had mastitis 25 times with the first and it just stopped for good about 2 months ago so i really don't want that to happen again!
i was nursing ds while pg with dd....at 4 or 5 mos it became unbearable! like someone put my nipples on a rock and smashed them with hammers! ds was just over 2....dd is almost 18 mos right now....waiting to see how it will go....
 
#26 ·
I am on #4 and I am still nursing my 15mo old. I am actually surprised I got pregnant but I really shouldn't be because I was nursing and got pregnant with both dd's lol:) Ds weaned himself at 8mos when I was 3mos pregnant with dd#1. I was sad but I had no milk left. I weaned dd at 17ish months because I couldn't take it anymore. It was so painful and I felt like spiders where crawling all over me. I was 4ish months preg. I am not sure what I will be dong this time around. dd is still nursing like crazy but I think I don't have much milk left because she is getting very annoyed she pulls my hair, slaps me and pulls my breast to try and get more milk out. I just found out I am pregnant on Monday(v-day) so I am not sure if I will make it nursing her through this whole pregnancy. I want to try and wait it out until at least the 3 month mark just to make sure everything is ok with the baby.
 
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