When to tell the family? April fools? (ha!) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 02-09-2011, 07:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm not sure that I can wait this long to tell family-but how awesome would it be to wait until april fools to announce a baby on the way? I'd be a little over 13 weeks. (i think..haven't been to the dr's yet to actually confirm, but that's my guess.)

 

Seriously though, I don't know how long I can keep it a secret. Yet, i don't want everyone knowing too soon-because that makes for such a long pregnancy..lots of well meaning questions, every conversation has to do with baby planning. (speaking from previous experience.) I also, more than anything, want to make sure that i'm "out of the woods", since I had a miscarriage last year, if that makes any sense.

 

I'm really sick though, and people might start wondering what the heck is up when i'm constantly running to the bathroom. My two boys (8 and 7) are already wondering what's wrong with me. They're here all day because they're homeschooled, which makes it even trickier!

One of them picked up my vitamin bottle and asked "how come there's a pregnant girl on your medicine?" I just replied "because they're good for pregnant people too", which seems to have sufficed, for now.

 

When do you guys plan on telling the family? Your parents, and his? Any fun up your sleeves? This will be my parent's 5th grandchild, but my husband's parents' first. So I do want it to be special for them.


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#2 of 18 Old 02-10-2011, 06:14 AM
 
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I just had the same thought! I was flipping through a calendar and brainstorming with my sister (she and her hubby are the only ones we told so far!) and she asked, "are there any holidays after you're 12 w?" I said APRIL FOOL'S!! We might use it, actually. I am very stubborn and pretty private so this pregnancy will be a surprise to everyone in the family/friends! It could be a fun way to tell people. Reverse April Fool's. I'll be around 14w at that point though, not sure if we can wait that long.

 

I get worried about being found out as well... I spend a LOT of time with my nieces (4.5, almost 2) and they know when I'm not feeling so good. You never know how much they catch on. They're smart!! Too smart!

 

We plan on telling all parents together. With divorces and remarriages on both sides, somebody will always feel miffed they weren't told "first". So the plan is to get everybody together and somehow tell them at the same time. The only problem there is that I'm about 7w now and none of my pants fit. I feel like it might be harder and harder to hide!

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#3 of 18 Old 02-10-2011, 08:16 AM
 
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April Fool's would have been great! We never could have waited that long though. DH is totally impatient (he couldn't even wait until the end of February when we were originally going to tell! It would have been easy because he was supposed to be in China for most of February but then the trip got delayed a month). That and, ya know, looking like I've grown a big tumor in my belly. LOL! There was no way I could wait until April the way I'm going. We live just 5 minutes from my in-laws and see them often so it wouldn't take them long to figure it out.

 

For dh's parents it's his mom's first biological grandchild- his dad has 1 biological grandchild but they are not really involved in anyone from that families life right now. So this will be the first grandchild that they will have an opportunity to participate from pregnancy, through birth (from a distance... lol), babyhood, toddlerhood, etc. We bought a picture frame that has a saying about Grandparents and Grandkids and the special place they fill in your heart. On the left is an opening for a picture so we put one of ds in it. On the right is another opening for a picture. Our original plan was to wait until after our appointment and put an ultrasound picture in it. Since we couldn't wait that long I just printed off a little paper that said "Coming in October 2011" with a little clip art of a baby. DS gave it to them. FIL figured it out first but MIL was still trying to figure out what all the "congratulations" were for lol.gif

 

With my parents they live far away (all my family does). So I called my dad and told him (he told my brother and sister who live with him while I was on the phone). Then I called my mom but she didn't answer. So I called both of my older sisters and told them. Then I tried my mom again who finally answered. Everyone was happy. My dad told me to tell dh that he was upset that he "violated my little girl". LOL! I told him "at least we were married this time!". Dad says "That doesn't matter...". LOL!

 

It was a HUGE difference than when I told everyone I was pregnant with my ds. My moms first response is "you don't have to keep it". My dad was just really disappointed but ended up being my biggest support (less than 2 months after ds was born I left his loser "dad" and was a single parent for awhile). Ex's parents weren't happy either and spent the first part of the pregnancy trying to get me to have an abortion (ex was right there with them trying to convince me). Once I was past that stage they then switched to trying to get me to let THEM adopt my ds. So.... yeah, not much support that time!


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#4 of 18 Old 02-10-2011, 05:37 PM
 
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Originally Posted by StephandOwen View Post

 

It was a HUGE difference than when I told everyone I was pregnant with my ds. My moms first response is "you don't have to keep it". 



Aw, that is so sad... with my first pregnancy, BOTH of my parents' reactions were "But I'm too young to be a grandma/pa." eyesroll.gif Not nearly as heartbreaking as your family's reaction, but anything less than thrilled is just not the way to react to a pregnancy! My husband and I got pregnant within a week of getting married and I was 20 years old, so of course everyone thought it was way too soon. My son is now 18 months and this little one due in October is sort of a surprise. Well, kind of. We didn't try, but we didn't try not too, either. And my husband really wanted another. So here we are. 

 

The first time we sent an email to our parents with the picture of the positive test and had them open it when we were on the phone with them. We haven't decided to when to tell this time. We literally just found out this morning! I am going up to PA to visit my mom & stepdad and I'm afraid my mom won't have a positive reaction. We are struggling financially so I am sure that is the first thing that will come up. I really wanted to tell them in person but my husband doesn't want to have to wait to tell his family after I get back. So I may just tell them over the phone. I definitely couldn't wait until April Fool's!! It's too exciting to wait that long! :)


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#5 of 18 Old 02-10-2011, 05:42 PM
 
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I am planning to tell on April Fools. That is a long time for us as I am due in Sept so I will be 15 weeks along. But I think it is great!

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#6 of 18 Old 02-10-2011, 06:19 PM
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I am definitely thinking about announcing it on April 1. That's about how long we would wait, anyway, and I played an April Fool's joke two years ago in which we posted photos of my DS holding signs. First sign/photo said, "Guess who's going to be a big brother?" and the second was, "One of my friends at daycare! Check your calendars, people. Happy April Fool's!" That got so many people, and I would love to flip it around this year.


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#7 of 18 Old 02-10-2011, 06:27 PM
 
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I think I'll tell when I'm around 3 months or so, or maybe even 4.  My friends know, but my family live on another continent, so I don't have to tell them immediately.   Last time (with number 7) I sent them an email because I wanted them to only speak to me once they have digested the fact and could be happy (or at least feign it)  LOL.  My inlaws didn't get the poem I sent, but my dh explained it to them, so all was well.  

 

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#8 of 18 Old 02-11-2011, 08:27 PM
 
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We were just looking at the calendar tonight and realized that we get home from Cozumel, Mx on the 31st so April 1st will be a perfect day to tell our exciting news.  We leave for holidays on the 14th so it will make it easier to wait till the 1st.  We've had a previous miscarriage so waiting for us is kinda important...we will tell a few famliy member's as well as a couple friends before the 1st though...


Living on the edge of a lake in the middle of British Columbia with my DH and DD (April 29, 2008) and expecting a new little one to join us around Oct 7th! 
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#9 of 18 Old 02-12-2011, 06:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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OH man, mexico. I'm Jealous! We're going...but not until July. (for a friend's wedding. Why on earth would they do that in July, in MEXICO?) I'll be 26-ish weeks. That oughta be fun...


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#10 of 18 Old 02-12-2011, 07:02 PM
 
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July is going to be HOT!  We lived in Cozumel for a year and half and found the summers super hot!  My mom and step-dad still live down there so it is a great place to visit with a toddler!  Having all the amenities plus a baby sitter :)  4 more weeks till we go -- I said to my husband that it sucks as I am not going to look pregnant just a little fat! he he


Living on the edge of a lake in the middle of British Columbia with my DH and DD (April 29, 2008) and expecting a new little one to join us around Oct 7th! 
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#11 of 18 Old 02-14-2011, 02:24 AM
 
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I'd love to jump on the bandwagon and do it for April fools.  Only problem is we are going to visit family in Texas on the 28th of March and at that point I will be 12 weeks and probably already showing since this is my 2nd and I have super short torso so I show very early.  We might just have to do it the week prior when we arrive in Texas.  The wait is killer though!


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#12 of 18 Old 02-24-2011, 05:40 PM
 
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I love the idea of telling on April Fool's Day.  We actually just completed our homestudy to adopt domestically and all of our status updates on FB have been about adoption.  We're still working towards adoption, so to roll out with a tricky announcement would be loads of fun.  I doubt anyone will believe us! :)


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#13 of 18 Old 02-24-2011, 06:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I can't wait until april fools any longer. I'm popping out of my pants, and now my kids know-which means the rest of the world will soon know too;)


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#14 of 18 Old 02-26-2011, 08:18 AM
 
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Anyone want to share neat ways they found of telling their families (or are planning to do)?

 

The other 2 times I kind of just told them - on the phone with my mom & sisters who live a couple of hours away. But I assume this will be our last shot at this and I'm wanting something a little more interesting.

DD2's birthday is tomorrow and I thought of sending them a picture of her in an "I'm the big sister" T-shirt, or holding a sign like someone else said... but is that weird when I don't plan to tell dd herself for weeks, lol? I just want to tell my mom, MIL, sisters, SIL. (MIL & SIL live with us, so I don't think I'll manage to wait long there.)

 


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#15 of 18 Old 02-26-2011, 03:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamabutterfly View Post

Anyone want to share neat ways they found of telling their families (or are planning to do)?

 



Well, I don't know if it's "neat", but I decided to tell my in-laws in a sort of fun way this time.  We were having a fancy valentines dinner with all the nearby extended family, and so I volunteered to make a cake for dessert.  I wrote "We're having a baby!" in frosting on top, and then unveiled it after dinner.  The reactions were fun, and it gave us a conversation topic for the rest of the meal.  :)

 

In the past I've done picture frames with "This space reserved for baby, due around [date]", and I've also done a series of pictures with the big sister holding signs to share the message. 


SAHM to Melinda (Oct '03), Jacob (Aug '05),  Alex (Apr '08), and baby.gif Malcolm (Sept 29, '11)

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#16 of 18 Old 03-20-2011, 02:13 PM
 
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This will be our 5th baby and my parents stopped getting excited and started getting downright rude about babies right around #3, so I can totally hold off telling them until April Fools.  My 8 yr old has played this April Fools Day joke on my mom two other times now (once to tell her I was expecting when I wasn't, and the next to tell her I was expecting but hoping she'd remember it was April Fools and not take it seriously).  So we're doing our very best to keep it from her, I can't believe my kids have kept it a secret, amazing!  I've been in maternity clothes for over a month now, definitely showing, so I've been wearing huge button down shirts when my mom comes over or sitting on the couch with a big blanket across my lap until she leaves, lol.  Only a couple of weeks to go!

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#17 of 18 Old 03-20-2011, 09:56 PM
 
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I'm contemplating "announcing" our pregnancy when we send out the birth announcements. We live on a different continent from everyone we know, so it's completely do-able. Only problem is that we'll have to keep it a secret from the kids for a long time too. With my third, I was so nervous about telling my mom I was pg that I started crying. She immediately assumed I didn't want the baby and acted accordingly. eyesroll.gif With my fourth, we waited to announce until I was about 22w along. They chalked the pg up to a birth control failure and when I told them she was planned, they ignored the pg like it wasn't happening until my daughter was born. I really don't want or need any negativity from people who are not responsible for my children in anyway, so I feel like NOT telling and just sending out an announcement when he/she is born.
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#18 of 18 Old 03-21-2011, 12:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Veronika01 View Post

I'm contemplating "announcing" our pregnancy when we send out the birth announcements. We live on a different continent from everyone we know, so it's completely do-able. Only problem is that we'll have to keep it a secret from the kids for a long time too. With my third, I was so nervous about telling my mom I was pg that I started crying. She immediately assumed I didn't want the baby and acted accordingly. eyesroll.gif With my fourth, we waited to announce until I was about 22w along. They chalked the pg up to a birth control failure and when I told them she was planned, they ignored the pg like it wasn't happening until my daughter was born. I really don't want or need any negativity from people who are not responsible for my children in anyway, so I feel like NOT telling and just sending out an announcement when he/she is born.


I would totally do that if I lived that distance from everyone.  Pregnancy, with all its hormones, is no time to invite negativity into your life, especially from family members who should really be supporting you emotionally. 
 

 

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