Things Never to Say to a Pregnant Woman - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 69 Old 03-03-2011, 10:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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"Are you feeling crappy?  Oh good!  That means the hormones are working!"

 

...your turn


Loving wife to a wonderful and Godly man, hug.gif  and SAHM to two beautiful boys, DS1, natural hospital birth (2/2010) and DS2, beautiful homebirth (10/2011) cd.gifnursex2.gif

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#2 of 69 Old 03-03-2011, 10:59 AM
 
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"Wow- are you sure there's only 1 in there?"

 

"No, I'm lying. There's 8. We just wanted 7 of them to be a surprise to everyone at birth!"

 

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#3 of 69 Old 03-03-2011, 11:01 AM
 
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This one is for when the pregnant women is further along, "Your not even showing!" gee thanks you just called me fat! 

 

This one really drives me nuts! "Are you being hormonal?" Cause Lord knows a pregnant women can't get upset without hormones having something to do with it! grrr

 

next....


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#4 of 69 Old 03-03-2011, 11:32 AM
 
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My mom is responsible for my favorite so far, in response to me complaining about something:

"That's another symptom - bitchiness."
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#5 of 69 Old 03-03-2011, 12:42 PM
 
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"hope you don't lose this one too" Yeah, I have heard that more than once.  Well, No Shi* I hope so too but come on filter yourself a little bit!


nicole wild.gif,  mom to 3 boys here on earth jumpers.gif 9, 7 and 4.5 and 2 girl's fly-by-nursing2.gif2.5 and 10/16/11. Always remembering my babies in heaven:  Sam (9/7/05) at 12.5 wks  angel1.gif, Morgan (2/13/06) at 6 wks angel1.gif , Emeric angel2.gif (8/9/10 at 17 wks) and Pepper angel1.gif (11/26/10) at 8wks. 

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#6 of 69 Old 03-03-2011, 01:16 PM
 
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theboysmama - that is AWFUL! Some people have no tact at all!

 

My Mom said to me "I never got THAT big with you!" It's weird 'cause she's not usually the type to say such things.


Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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#7 of 69 Old 03-03-2011, 01:24 PM
 
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"You're pregnant again?! Wow. Was that planned?"

 

Rude much? hopmad.gif


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#8 of 69 Old 03-03-2011, 01:29 PM
 
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Oh you're pregnant?  When are you due?  Are you going to find out the gender? Are you going to breastfeed?  Are you going to get an epidural/induction/c-section/enema (blah blah blah)? Are you going to do genetic testing? How much weight have you gained so far?  Do you feel like crap yet? Are you having more after this? Are you going to circ? Were you trying to get pregnant?


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#9 of 69 Old 03-03-2011, 01:35 PM
 
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We have a close friend of ours that sometimes we just don't understand.  They're planning on getting engaged, and the other day he excitedly announced, "I finally picked out the ring."  We cautiously asked him "which ring," and he replied that he'd selected his own wedding band (never mind that he's not yet proposed to her yet, and they don't plan on getting married until summer 2012).  I was telling this to my sister, laughing about how we just let him be him, and appreciate his quirks, because some things about our friend we'll just never understand.

 

My very dear sister then said to me, "Yeah, like I can't understand why you didn't wait longer to have kids after getting married, because I did." 

 

Ouch.  Sister is 2 years older and will be married 7 years this summer (no kids yet, obviously).  We just got married in June 2010 and very much are excited and feel ready to be parents.  Part of me feels like she may jealous, but that still kind of hurt my feelings.


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#10 of 69 Old 03-03-2011, 01:50 PM
 
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one friend of the family kept patting and commenting on my "baby" belly... but I was only 2 months PG! it was just a regular old fat belly...

 

my sister said "oh cute, your bum is bigger"

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#11 of 69 Old 03-03-2011, 02:14 PM
 
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Yeah, my husband likes to rub my tummy when he's being sentimental.  Thanks hon, but the baby is like eight inches lower.  That's just fat up there. 


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#12 of 69 Old 03-03-2011, 02:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jksmith View Post

one friend of the family kept patting and commenting on my "baby" belly... but I was only 2 months PG! it was just a regular old fat belly...


If you don't like having your belly groped, I highly recommend the following technique, which I used to great effectiveness in my first pregnancy with a woman (someone I did not know) in the grocery store. She asked when I was due, and before I could answer, the following scene played out:

 

Woman: Reached out and rubbed my belly.
Me: Grabbed her breast.
Woman: Looked shocked.
Me (innocently): “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought we were playing the inappropriate and unwanted touching game.”

 

She hightailed it out of there very quickly.


professor & maman de DS1 (6) & DS2 (1)

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#13 of 69 Old 03-03-2011, 03:23 PM
 
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My aunt, who I dearly love, would always hold the bottom of my belly meanwhile the back of her hand would be touching my pubic bone. Very weird. Couldn't she tell? So odd.

One parent at my previous school said to me two days before I was induced, "Oh, are your pregnant?" Wha????

Hannah, Wife to R , Mama to Alexander, born 2-15-08,
and Gabriel, born 10-17-11. Ask me about cleft lip and palate!
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#14 of 69 Old 03-03-2011, 03:23 PM
 
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~pi, I have a friend that did that, except she grabbed BOTH of the ladies breasts and said "Oh, I thought we were getting to know each other!?" I love it! I am so, so, so not looking forward to people touching me. I am NOT a huggy/touchy-feely person. I HATE people in my space with the exception of my husband only. Not even family and friends. There are going to be some people that are going to regret laying a hand on me, that's for sure.

Also, I've already decided that anyone who asks me if I know what I'm having is getting told, "A baby is usually what comes out, so that's what we're expecting."

Alaskan Wife and Mama to my special little guy ribbluyel.gif (9/13/11) and expecting #2 (2/21/13)!

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#15 of 69 Old 03-03-2011, 03:31 PM
 
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You have to wonder about people!  What is it about pregnancy that make people forget their manners?

 

We're pregnant with number 8.  When I was pregnant with number 7 someone told me: "When God said be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth, He didn't mean you have to do it by yourself!" 

 

I was seriously gobsmacked!  What do you even say to that?

 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~pi View Post

 


If you don't like having your belly groped, I highly recommend the following technique, which I used to great effectiveness in my first pregnancy with a woman (someone I did not know) in the grocery store. She asked when I was due, and before I could answer, the following scene played out:

 

Woman: Reached out and rubbed my belly.
Me: Grabbed her breast.
Woman: Looked shocked.
Me (innocently): “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought we were playing the inappropriate and unwanted touching game.”

 

She hightailed it out of there very quickly.



 biglaugh.gif


mom to ds '07 first day of a new year, dd '09 in the caul, and  ds '11 at home Oct 24th

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#17 of 69 Old 03-03-2011, 04:45 PM
 
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I wish I had the nerve to grab the breast of a stranger, I really do, because if more women did that then the inappropriate and unwanted touching game would end.

 

I do not like being asked if we were trying to get pregnant. I don't ask that to anybody and I figure that if they wanted me to know that information they'd share. Right? Right? You witty women in this thread, please share a snappy comeback for that one!


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#18 of 69 Old 03-03-2011, 05:56 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~pi View Post

 


If you don't like having your belly groped, I highly recommend the following technique, which I used to great effectiveness in my first pregnancy with a woman (someone I did not know) in the grocery store. She asked when I was due, and before I could answer, the following scene played out:

 

Woman: Reached out and rubbed my belly.
Me: Grabbed her breast.
Woman: Looked shocked.
Me (innocently): “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought we were playing the inappropriate and unwanted touching game.”

 

She hightailed it out of there very quickly.


Wow, that's a good one!  I'm hoping that small-town Canadian Prairie folk are too reserved to do the touching thing anyway, but if they're not I'll be sure to grab them right back . . . is there anyone who WANTS their pregnant belly groped by strangers, really?

 


On a farm with our kiddo (nearly 2), two dogs, two cats, ten goats, two donkeys, nine sheep, a bunch of chickens, and a husband (in the winters). We have another on the way!
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#19 of 69 Old 03-03-2011, 06:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AKChix0r View Post

~pi, I have a friend that did that, except she grabbed BOTH of the ladies breasts and said "Oh, I thought we were getting to know each other!?"


biglaugh.gif

 


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by AKChix0r View Post

Also, I've already decided that anyone who asks me if I know what I'm having is getting told, "A baby is usually what comes out, so that's what we're expecting."


lol.gif My DH told someone last time that we were hoping for a puppy.

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by RosemaryS-F View Post

I wish I had the nerve to grab the breast of a stranger, I really do, because if more women did that then the inappropriate and unwanted touching game would end.

 

I do not like being asked if we were trying to get pregnant. I don't ask that to anybody and I figure that if they wanted me to know that information they'd share. Right? Right? You witty women in this thread, please share a snappy comeback for that one!


You know, I am not quick at all when I am not pregnant, but something about pregnancy really brings out the smart-you-know-what in me.

 

If someone asked if we were trying, depending on the person, I might either tell them it's none of their business or try to embarrass them right back. Fake-innocence is always a great one for that, for example, "Gosh, no, we were just trying to hang wallpaper, and then I fell on DH's [insert name of body part]!"

 

Hykue, I grew up in Saskatchewan, which I suspect is one of the reasons I don't deal well with strangers touching me!

 

Some women seem perfectly OK with others touching their bellies, and more power to them. In one sense, I feel sort of badly for not wanting others to physically share in the joy, but I just have a lot of trouble with it. I am used to having personal space and I don't like having my body touched without my permission.


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#20 of 69 Old 03-03-2011, 06:48 PM
 
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OMG! I love it! I will HAVE to remember that one for later! 
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~pi View Post

 


If you don't like having your belly groped, I highly recommend the following technique, which I used to great effectiveness in my first pregnancy with a woman (someone I did not know) in the grocery store. She asked when I was due, and before I could answer, the following scene played out:

 

Woman: Reached out and rubbed my belly.
Me: Grabbed her breast.
Woman: Looked shocked.
Me (innocently): “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought we were playing the inappropriate and unwanted touching game.”

 

She hightailed it out of there very quickly.



 


treehugger.gifKayleigh is a Marine wife to Ben & SAHM to Colton 2.5yrs and Liam 1.5yrs 

 

After 2 beautiful boys we're having a GIRL!

 

Little Miss Addie

20****25**stork-girl.gif*30****35****40**

 

 

 

 

 

 

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#21 of 69 Old 03-03-2011, 07:10 PM
 
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I've gotten a lot of "oh, I didn't know you were trying". A) we didn't try B) I don't ask you the reasons why you have sex so don't ask me C) did you ever consider that if we were trying that we just might not tell you.

 

I'm also *told* by random people as well as family members "you're done having kids now". Thanks for telling me, it was going to be something between God, my husband, and I but thanks for clearing it up.

 

I can't stand people touching my belly when I'm pregnant but at least it's better than them touching the baby, which happened yet again today. Why do people think it's ok to reach into a sling and graze the front of my breast in order to touch my infant child?? At least understand that if you're working where I happen to be and you touch my baby I will tell your manager and you may be fired, as was the lady at a walmart who was stocking pesticide and decided to stick her finger in my two month old's mouth to feel her gums. 

 

I wish I had the audacity to inappropriately touch someone who touches me or my baby. Maybe the next time someone touches on of my kids I'll caress their arm then when they look surprised pull out the "I thought we were playing the inappropriate and unwanted touching game" line.

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#22 of 69 Old 03-04-2011, 04:58 AM
 
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If someone asked if we were trying, depending on the person, I might either tell them it's none of their business or try to embarrass them right back. Fake-innocence is always a great one for that, for example, "Gosh, no, we were just trying to hang wallpaper, and then I fell on DH's [insert name of body part]!"

AHHHHHHHH!!!!! YES! That's what I'm going to tell my sister. I had this mishap last week where I was trying to reply to a question about maternity style on ThredUp so I could win $100 gift card to piperlime, and my comment showed up unexplained on my facebook page with no reference that it was replying to a question. It said, "I was given a cute sweater from friends in Italy by Bennetton Maternity and it made me realize that you can probably find edgier European maternity clothes with a quick search on Ebay." As soon as I saw that this had gone on my facebook page I deleted it (no wonder no other people were seeming to respond and it looked like I had a great chance of winning the drawing!) Within seconds my sister was on the phone. "Are you pregnant?" I had to sidestep it big time. Now I'm afraid she'll be mad at me or something when I eventually have to tell her. Arg. So I want to face that with a bit of humor.
 

Quote:
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At least understand that if you're working where I happen to be and you touch my baby I will tell your manager and you may be fired, as was the lady at a walmart who was stocking pesticide and decided to stick her finger in my two month old's mouth to feel her gums. 

 


That both blows my mind and doesn't. On the one hand, WHAT?!? And on the other hand, people are absolutely like that. It's horrible, but it's the kind of thing that gets stuck into sitcoms for a reason. I'm so sorry! I hope that you were able to get a few million for it, at least.

 


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#23 of 69 Old 03-04-2011, 05:36 AM
 
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These are all very amusing, although tactless...

Well, the other day this happened to me.  Now, I do love this friend, she was an old college roomie, we kinda keep in touch. I was telling her we're pregnant- she is not married, has no kids, and never wants any BUT...

not only was there no congrats during the whole conversation, but her response to me was, "That's why I have the Mirena, so I don't have to deal with that baby drama." And proceeded to go on and on about how I'd love the Mirena and how little side effects it has....blah blah.


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"yes, we were having crazy monkey sex every half hour. D you want to see the pictures?"

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#25 of 69 Old 03-04-2011, 06:36 AM
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Quote:
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"yes, we were having crazy monkey sex every half hour. D you want to see the pictures?"
 


biglaugh.gif

 


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#26 of 69 Old 03-04-2011, 07:07 AM
 
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The one I've heard a lot lately is people asking if the baby was conceived here or in the Virgin Islands (where our wedding/honeymoon was). Seriously people? A little personal, don't you think? I've just been answering "yup, it was in one of those places!" but I seriously want to say something like mntnmom.... "well, it was a crazy night with all sorts of drunk sloppy crazy monkey s*x.... here, I've got some pictures!" and then pull out my phone and see how long it takes them to run away. LOL!

 

I had one (well meaning, otherwise very nice) friend say "well, after seeing the pictures of your honeymoon I kinda figured it wouldn't take y'all long.... you both were totally drunk in most of the pictures". Thanks dear. Sheepish.gif

 

I've also been questioned about whether we planned this baby or not (we did, but that doesn't matter). I've really wanted to respond with "well, we're still not sure what happened. How *are* babies made, anyway?" but I just haven't been in the mood yet.

 

And the "what do you want?" (meaning the gender). I'm tempted to say "Since we were trying for a baby, I'm hopeful that that's what we get. If it's a monkey I guess I can adjust to that change though".


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#27 of 69 Old 03-04-2011, 07:19 AM
 
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I'm still laughing thinking about falling when trying to hang wall-paper. 

 

Before we conceived, I told *close* friends that we weren't trying, we were practicing. 

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#28 of 69 Old 03-05-2011, 12:47 PM
 
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These are cracking me up!

 

I told my mom the news over the phone last week and she said (after telling me she wanted a granddaughter...um, we will see what I can do), "I thought you were looking a little pudgy when I saw you last time." I was 6 WEEKS PG! I was still running around 30 miles per week. I was NOT PUDGY! Seriously...who says that?!?

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#29 of 69 Old 03-05-2011, 01:30 PM
 
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I don't even mind people touching my belly and I may have to grab some boob. That is HILARIOUS.


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#30 of 69 Old 03-06-2011, 05:51 AM
 
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I absolutely do not care if strangers feel my belly or if people ask if the baby was planned. I know it's taboo to ask that so it suprises me to get the question from some people but it does not bother me whatsoever. My daughter's softball coach had called to see if I was still going to help coach this year, and at some point he asked if it was planned or not and I heard his wife fussing at him in the background for asking LOL

 

People feel my belly bc they love pregnancy or babies, they have memories of themselves or wives pregnant, there's no harm meant and I believe in the good energy being spread to my baby.

 

I also do not care if people try to look at the baby while she is nursing...I love the idea of breastfeeding being so normal in society that people are ok to look and not freak out because there's some boob showing. I've had old men rub the baby's cheek and say that's how they should be fed, as they remember their wives nursing their babies decades and decades ago.

 

If someone did something meaning to harm or ridicule me or something, it would be different, but all these things that seem to offend other moms only make me feel better about humanity...that we can be connected in such a way as to feel a preggo belly, or coo at the perfectly natural feeding baby or have discussions about planning or not planning a pregnancy which is totally normal in life!


drowning in hormones with 4 daughters and an understanding, loving hubby. also some dogs. my life is crazy and we are always learning.

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Refbacks are Off