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#31 of 52 Old 03-04-2011, 08:44 PM
 
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oh yeah, I love my babymoon times... I stay in bed as long as I can. such love.


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#32 of 52 Old 03-04-2011, 08:46 PM
 
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OH another thing that new moms might not know, or if someone isn't planning one for you, it helps if you ask your close friends and family to stock your freezer with easy meals you can just pop in the oven on nights when the family needs to be fed, and you just need sleep and food and babytime... frozen soups and casseroles work well.

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#33 of 52 Old 03-04-2011, 09:11 PM
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I wish someone had told me that if you have ever been sexually assaulted, even if it was ages ago, you had dealt with it, recovered, and feel totally over it, body memory can be intensely powerful during birth. It would be smart to tell your care provider. (It never occurred to me that it might be an issue. In retrospect, duh.)


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#34 of 52 Old 03-05-2011, 01:46 PM
 
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I wish someone had told me that things can be going great and you can be near your due date with zero complications, and then -- WHAM! -- get smoked by pre-eclampsia.  I was so surprised.

 

I'm nervous about these afterpains everyone is talking about ... do you mean right after?  Like after delivering the placenta?  Or days later?  I didn't have anything like that last time.  Yikes!

 

I also wish someone had told me how wonderful pushing is.  It was such a relief!

 

I wish someone had told me that it is possible to not have enough milk to provide for your baby.  I wish someone had told me about the Lact-Aid supplemental nursing system before I struggled with the stupid Medela SNS and ended up throwing it across the room and then making DP collect it and put it in the woodstove. 

 

I wish someone had told me how important it is to have a support network nearby.  I missed my mommy!

 


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#35 of 52 Old 03-05-2011, 01:47 PM
 
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I don't know if this was the case for everyone.. but my clitoris hurt, bad, after delivering. It hurt longer than it took the rest of me to heal and still hurts once in a while. It's a sharp pain.


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#36 of 52 Old 03-05-2011, 02:24 PM
 
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yes yes yes first time mamas, have a support network ready. however badass and self-sufficient you are, the first couple of PP weeks are NOT the time to prove it. Dinners in the freezer, people to drop off food, let the laundry pile up or let someone else do it! get a maid or PP doula if you can afford it. have relatives or close friends on call to help you. have the numbers of some lactation consultants hanging on your fridge before you give birth.

 

you DO NOT FEEL NORMAL AT 6 WEEKS. Its more like you don't feel like you've just been run over by a truck. I didn't really feel "normal" until about 6 months (maybe halfway there by 3m). I say this though I was back to my normal life pretty quickly... its more about my own expectations for myself. My mom clued me into that one- she was like, "don't think b/c you have your PP checkup at 6 weeks that means your body is healed from the pregnancy and birth", and it was very true for me.

 

And... people tried to tell me but I couldn't really understand until it happened... the shock (almost trauma) to my sense of myself- that massive change in my own identity- that was very hard. I loved my baby to pieces, and I did not at PPD, but it was hard. I felt sometimes isolated, angry, overwhelmed. Like on a daily basis. When I finally made another mom friend (IRL) it made a big difference for me- I no longer felt so crazy! 

 


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#37 of 52 Old 03-05-2011, 03:48 PM
 
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Afterpains only hit me when the baby nursed. This lasted 2-3 days for me, worse with each baby. By baby 3 it was like having contractions everytime the baby nursed. But it doesn't last long! I barely noticed it after my first baby. I had painmed-free births but I wanted(and took) some ibuprofin during the afterpains with #3.

 

Nicolian-!! Ow! Maybe your clitoris had a tiny tear unnoticed by the OB? I've never heard of that issue! Did this happen with each birth?! I don't know how well I could handle that one! Did a doctor or anyone try to help any with that?


drowning in hormones with 4 daughters and an understanding, loving hubby. also some dogs. my life is crazy and we are always learning.

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#38 of 52 Old 03-05-2011, 04:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by baby.fatty View Post

I wish I had known more details about how "breastfeeding will be hard in those first few weeks".  So many people had told me it would be hard, but I assumed that meant exhaustion and sore nipples.  I was totally unprepared for having supply issues, which are far more common than I knew (1 in 20 women have sufficient enough supply issues that they *cannot*  I had read _The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding_ before birth and was left with the impression that "supply problems are vanishingly rare" and that nursing on demand is always enough to have an abundant supply.  This is just not true.  Other moms I know had latch problems, oversupply, thrush, tongue-tie / weak suck problems, vasospasms, excess lipase... there is a wide variety of potential problems - and nearly all of them are solvable, but you can feel like the only woman in the world who can't breastfeed and that you're failing your child when something goes wrong.  I felt like I had been bombarded with overly simplistic messages about what breastfeeding entails without details about what various challenges look like, when they typically become apparent, and how to get help.  Kellymom.com is an amazing resource and was a lifesaver for me.

 

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I wish someone had told me that it is possible to not have enough milk to provide for your baby.  I wish someone had told me about the Lact-Aid supplemental nursing system before I struggled with the stupid Medela SNS and ended up throwing it across the room and then making DP collect it and put it in the woodstove.

 

I was completely and totally caught off-guard by having very low supply.  Everything I had read made it seem as if it was totally impossible to not have enough supply if you just tried hard enough, but I learned the hard way that it does happen.  As if I wasn't an emotional wreck already from being post-partum!  I wish that I would have gone to see the LC after the 1st week's weigh in instead of waiting til her weight went up after supping, stopping supping & seeing it drop again.  That LC took one look at me & told me I'd never EBF.  Anyway, I'm totally trying the Lact-Aid this time around, cause yeah, the SNS kinda sucks.

 

Also surprising to me, the amount of BLOOD, and that you can tear forward (fun times)

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#39 of 52 Old 03-05-2011, 05:22 PM
 
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Great list ladies!

 

I also wish someone would have told me I might go through 'mourning' after I have delivered a beautiful healthy baby, because it's no longer inside me. I was so terribly sad when I was no longer pregnant, even though I had a great delivery and very easy baby. In the first postpartum month I would find myself instinctively putting my hand on my belly and would realize it's flat(well, not flat) and that I wouldn't feel by baby kicking my ribs/bladder/organs anymore. Of course then I would pick her up and hold her and snuggle and nurse her and I would feel better.

 

I remember telling this to my former boss, and she said "I know exactly what you mean!! It's hard to adjust to, it's not just you!"



Oh, yes. I wish I had known about that, too.  I almost cried when it was time to put the maternity clothes away.  I loved being pregnant (once I got past the first trimester, anyway), and even though I loved having my baby outside, I missed him being inside.  And it wasn't about the difficulties of having a newborn.  He was actually easier as a newborn than he has ever been since.  It was more about that wonderful time in my life (pregnancy) being over, I think.  And a touch of weird baby blues hormones, too, I guess.

 

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#40 of 52 Old 03-05-2011, 06:18 PM
 
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I wish someone had told me that many women end up having vaginal pain with sex after giving birth. I lived in pain trying to have a "normal" sex life with my DH for six or more months! It hurt so badi would cry afterwards and DH would feel awful. Finally, I made an appointment with my OBGyN and fessed up. She thought it might be that my vagina wasn't getting enough estrogen? She prescribed an estrogen cream but that didn't work so a month later I went back. She checked again for any tearing that might not have healed correctly. Nothing. She said her last idea was to go to physical therapy! What? Physical therapy for my damaged vagina? Well, I went, in shame really. The PT was AMAZING! She let me know that this happens to lots and lots of women but we just don't talk about it with each other. I had to insert these tampons-like things inside me each night and do kegel exercises. Each week for about two months, I went back to PT and she would help me insert the next size up. She said that when you give birth, the pressure on our vagina is similar to that of a football player getting tackled on the field. Ouch! No wonder I had issues!

I lvoe reading all these! Brings back a lot of memories!

Hannah, Wife to R , Mama to Alexander, born 2-15-08,
and Gabriel, born 10-17-11. Ask me about cleft lip and palate!
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#41 of 52 Old 03-05-2011, 07:09 PM
 
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For those who anticipate this being an issue, here's what I plan on doing. I will make a sign. On one side will say "Welcome! Please come in!". The other side will say "Mama and baby are resting. Please come back later". We shouldn't get too many visitors at our front door, but MIL and FIL know our garage code so they just enter through the garage. This sign will go on the door in the garage that enters into the kitchen. Yes, it is specifically for MIL who I anticipate will be beating on my door 10 times a day.


This is such a great idea. Fortunately, my MIL knows I do not have an open door policy. Haha at least with her. Yikes.

 


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#42 of 52 Old 03-05-2011, 08:21 PM
 
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I agree with the doula! I wanted a natural birth with my first and thought DH and I would be fine, but once we got to the hospital and the pain really kicked in we didn't know what to do. A doula would have helped!! 

 

To get breastfeeding help as early as possible!

 

That you should really try to get the baby to breast in the first hour after birth. 

 

That maternity leave was not a time to accomplish things just because I was "off of work". 

 

 


Mama to DS (03/09) and DD (10/11) and married to the love of my life

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#43 of 52 Old 03-05-2011, 08:44 PM
 
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I don't know if this was the case for everyone.. but my clitoris hurt, bad, after delivering. It hurt longer than it took the rest of me to heal and still hurts once in a while. It's a sharp pain.

you most likely had a small tear and it possibly didn't heal right. I had that happen w ds3 and it eventually went away.

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Uh, I wish someone would tell me how cabbage leaves are used and for what. headscratch.gif
Cabbage leaves are awesome! They can be used to dry up milk by placing then inside your bra as they reduce swelling. If u r highly engorged and have way more milk than you need then using cabbage for short periods of time can reduce the swelling making your breasts way more comfortable.
Also sine cabbage is so great at reducing swelling a chilled piece or 2 in your undies feels awesome on your pp croch.

I wish I had been told all of the awesome benefits of consuming the placenta before my awful pp depression. There are tons of benefits like less pp depression, quickly contacts the uterus so I bleed less than a week, replaces iron, more energy, etc. I didn't figure it out till ds3 and it was amazing, have done it 3 times now. Putting small pieces in a smoothy is quick and easy and I can't taste it.

Wish I had known diapers aren't truly necessary. We eced w my 4th and was out of diapers by 7 months. She is the only one that doesn't have or hasnt ever had severe constipation issues.

Wish I had known that loss happens and is very common. There r a lot of things I would have done differently with my losses had I had more info.


nicole wild.gif,  mom to 3 boys here on earth jumpers.gif 9, 7 and 4.5 and 2 girl's fly-by-nursing2.gif2.5 and 10/16/11. Always remembering my babies in heaven:  Sam (9/7/05) at 12.5 wks  angel1.gif, Morgan (2/13/06) at 6 wks angel1.gif , Emeric angel2.gif (8/9/10 at 17 wks) and Pepper angel1.gif (11/26/10) at 8wks. 

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#44 of 52 Old 03-05-2011, 09:49 PM
 
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Afterpains only hit me when the baby nursed. This lasted 2-3 days for me, worse with each baby. By baby 3 it was like having contractions everytime the baby nursed. But it doesn't last long! I barely noticed it after my first baby. I had painmed-free births but I wanted(and took) some ibuprofin during the afterpains with #3.

 

Nicolian-!! Ow! Maybe your clitoris had a tiny tear unnoticed by the OB? I've never heard of that issue! Did this happen with each birth?! I don't know how well I could handle that one! Did a doctor or anyone try to help any with that?

 

It's weird.. it didn't/doesn't feel like a tear pain. It hurts when, sorry if tmi, I'm just randomly walking or something and blood rushes to it.. and it's a sharp ache. I feel like the pushing broke something inside. lol Not really, but that's the sort of impression I get - that it's interior.


Nicole treehugger.gif  Busy with my two boys.jog.gifdiaper.gif  The 'big boy' too. peace.gifOh, and a sweet baby girl, born at home in October. love.gif

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#45 of 52 Old 03-06-2011, 06:19 PM
 
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I'm sorry if I scared anyone with my afterpains story. I just really couldn't believe that no one had told me that before. It felt like more contractions.. but a bit different, since they were no longer pushing out anything.. it's just contracting to get back to it's normal shape. I will most likely take something for it if I need to but it totally surprised me last time, and yeah, it did happen more during nursing, and made that kinda uncomfortable. But, yeah, a few days or so, it gets less painful and eventually the pains stop. I'm sure it's different for everyone though, so you may not have any.


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#46 of 52 Old 03-06-2011, 06:32 PM
 
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I'm sorry if I scared anyone with my afterpains story. I just really couldn't believe that no one had told me that before. It felt like more contractions.. but a bit different, since they were no longer pushing out anything.. it's just contracting to get back to it's normal shape. I will most likely take something for it if I need to but it totally surprised me last time, and yeah, it did happen more during nursing, and made that kinda uncomfortable. But, yeah, a few days or so, it gets less painful and eventually the pains stop. I'm sure it's different for everyone though, so you may not have any.


I have been thinking about this thread for days, ever since the first person mentioned the afterpains. All I could think was "I wish somebody told me about these "afterpains" before I decided to have a second child". lol.gif  I'm not afraid of the delivery, but I sure am afraid of these afterpains now!

 


Steph, DH Jason (1-1-11), DS Owen (10-3-03) and DS Kai (10-13-11)

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#47 of 52 Old 03-06-2011, 06:37 PM
 
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arnica helped me a lot with the afterpains. I also took some ibuprophen. But the arnica was great- the 200c kind (not the regular 30c). MW stuffed some in my mouth right after delivery, and I took it about every 15 minutes the first hour or two, then took it as needed after that. I had them with #1 but yeah, a lot more with #2. Have heard from others they keep getting worse! For me it was usually when baby latched on to nurse. Excrutiating. Like horrible menstrual cramps. 

 


dissertating mom to three

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#48 of 52 Old 03-06-2011, 09:32 PM
 
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I have absolutely no qualms taking prescription strength ibuprofen for afterpains.  They made the whole experience perfectly tolerable, and I only needed one or two a day for a few days.


SAHM to Melinda (Oct '03), Jacob (Aug '05),  Alex (Apr '08), and baby.gif Malcolm (Sept 29, '11)

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#49 of 52 Old 03-07-2011, 09:03 AM
 
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I would agree with the after pains. They hurt, almost worse than the contractions for me. I took ibuprofen for them, and it seems to help alot. I am wondering how they will feel after I deliver the twins? Maybe the after pains fairy will be nice to me, as I will have to figure out how to nurse 2 at the same time. :)


K 30 married to J 40 Love being a SAHM to our IVF miracles: Jackson 08/09, Emily and Miles 09/11 Missing our lost babies 04/08, 08/10. Currently planted on a soft surface bfinfant.gifall day long.

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#50 of 52 Old 03-07-2011, 09:24 AM
 
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Oh m god. I am glad I found that out now. That is so freakin hilariousROTFLMAO.gif

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#51 of 52 Old 03-07-2011, 10:23 AM
 
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I wish I had known....

 

Your milk might take a few days to come in, it might even take 5

 

Your baby might cry....A LOT...nothing is wrong, she just likes to cry

 

Babies have personalities, they do not always enjoy being passed around, if this is the case take them back and do not feel bad doing so. Also it is not because you breastfeed, don't leave them enough, or because they have gas, they just prefer being with their mama.

 

 


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#52 of 52 Old 03-07-2011, 11:16 AM
 
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I would agree with the after pains. They hurt, almost worse than the contractions for me. I took ibuprofen for them, and it seems to help alot. I am wondering how they will feel after I deliver the twins? Maybe the after pains fairy will be nice to me, as I will have to figure out how to nurse 2 at the same time. :)



Ibuprofen helps a lot, or, there are stronger options like codeine that are safe for nursing moms.  If it's really bad, don't hesitate to ask for something more.  It's usually only about 12 hours that they are unbearable if at all.  They are almost 100% always gone by day 4, and so much lighter on day 2-3. 


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