Plus size moms to be? Need help dealing with body hate. - Page 7 - Mothering Forums
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#181 of 193 Old 09-18-2011, 09:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I *think* I have been having some BH's the past week or so...I have a funny relashionship with pain/discomfort...my mind pretty much blocks it out automatically but the other day I noticed I was having a weird tightening/constricting feeling up at the top of my uterus...it was not painful but it was...odd...

 

Lasted a few minutes and then faded downwards, I have been trying to pay more attention to how Im feeling and I have had a few more, always starting high up and then fading downwards.

 

Baby has also been moving downwards the past week or so, I can no longer poop without feeling like he is trying to escape and visually he looks a lot lower in my belly too.

 

So excited that its getting closer but also scared/worried...Bah, I cannot wait to meet him!!

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#182 of 193 Old 09-18-2011, 09:54 AM
 
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Alright, so, there's this one midwife at the practice I go to who apparently used to be rather fat and then lost a lot of weight and now is completely fixated on weight and gave me a big lecture when I first saw her about not drinking soda or fruit juice (neither of which I did anyway, thanks for asking), and how I should be walking all the time (reasonable advice anyway) and just lots of weight related stuff.  At my latest appointment, my weight had shot up 8 lbs in one week, which as far as I know isn't really even possible except probably just for the water I'm drinking combined with constipation level or something, but she got on my case about it anyway.  Then, later, I joked that I feel like an 800 lb tuna trying to walk on land, and she said, "Well, not quite 800 lbs, but you're getting up there."  ...and I tried to keep joking, and said, "Maybe next week, then."  ...and she said, "That's what we're trying to avoid."

 

Jeez lady, I was making a joke about how awkward it feels to be heavily pregnant.  I think even skinny pregnant women feel pretty toddling and awkward at 36 weeks.  I wasn't trying to express some self loathing about my weight in particular, but I guess this lady has such a poor relationship with body size she just assumed I was.  

 

Supposedly she's really good at deliveries, though.  

 

I'll be 37 weeks on Monday, and my baby hasn't moved down much, and my BH are barely noticeable.  shrug.gif


heartbeat.gif  Baby girl arrived 10/11/11 heartbeat.gif

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#183 of 193 Old 09-18-2011, 10:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Alright, so, there's this one midwife at the practice I go to who apparently used to be rather fat and then lost a lot of weight and now is completely fixated on weight and gave me a big lecture when I first saw her about not drinking soda or fruit juice (neither of which I did anyway, thanks for asking), and how I should be walking all the time (reasonable advice anyway) and just lots of weight related stuff.  At my latest appointment, my weight had shot up 8 lbs in one week, which as far as I know isn't really even possible except probably just for the water I'm drinking combined with constipation level or something, but she got on my case about it anyway.  Then, later, I joked that I feel like an 800 lb tuna trying to walk on land, and she said, "Well, not quite 800 lbs, but you're getting up there."  ...and I tried to keep joking, and said, "Maybe next week, then."  ...and she said, "That's what we're trying to avoid."

 

Jeez lady, I was making a joke about how awkward it feels to be heavily pregnant.  I think even skinny pregnant women feel pretty toddling and awkward at 36 weeks.  I wasn't trying to express some self loathing about my weight in particular, but I guess this lady has such a poor relationship with body size she just assumed I was.  

 

Supposedly she's really good at deliveries, though.  

 

I'll be 37 weeks on Monday, and my baby hasn't moved down much, and my BH are barely noticeable.  shrug.gif



Im so sorry you had to put up with that!! 

 

*Hugs*

 

I have been really lucky so far, my nurse and OB are great and my OB is actually a bigger lady.

 

Whenever I get weighed going in I tend to look away or shut my eyes and my nurse is always like "Dont worry hun" or "Your doing great"

 

Despite the fact that my target weight gain was 15 pds and I have put on 30 nothing negative has been said...Im kind of waiting for the ball to drop lol.

 

 

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#184 of 193 Old 09-18-2011, 11:48 AM
 
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Originally Posted by yellowdart View Post

 

Then, later, I joked that I feel like an 800 lb tuna trying to walk on land, and she said, "Well, not quite 800 lbs, but you're getting up there."  ...and I tried to keep joking, and said, "Maybe next week, then."  ...and she said, "That's what we're trying to avoid."

 



Yeah, thaaaaaat's really obnoxious :(  hug2.gif That would really stress me out - I would always be waiting for the next inappropriate thing to come out of her mouth :(

 

The dr. I had for the first 4 months of my pregnancy with DD was a hateful witch (haha, imho, anyway) who kept trying to terrify me out of a homebirth (complicated -at the time, here, you had to have a dr AND a midwife) and kept telling me my baby would DIE.  Anyway, she also was fixated on my weight- she kept telling me not to eat extra, maybe have an extra glass of milk every day but not to feel like I had to eat for the baby, etc.  And she kept telling me all the complications I was likely to have during pregnancy.  I had a slightly elevated BP reading ONCE at 3 months preg. and she wanted me immediately on BP meds because I would probably stroke out and die because of my weight. Gee, do you think I might have had a higher bp that day because you are a hateful, terrible woman?????  

 

Anyhow, I switched doctors and went on to have a perfectly healthy pregnancy.  I only gained about 12 lb for a 7 lb baby and had absolutely no complications. So take that, lady!!  

 

My doctor now is wonderful - she sent me for an extra, earlier glucose test and did tell me she wanted me to gain as little as possible...but she is so positive and tells me all the time how everything is great and what a healthy pregnancy it has been....and funny thing - my bp is never high at HER office ;)

 

Trinket - you've inspired me to try and self-check my cervix!  Today has been one long, constant, painful BH.  I think baby has really shifted downwards since yesterday and I could barely make it through my grocery shopping today, it was so uncomfortable.


Beth knit.gif.  wife to DH and Mama to DD1 heartbeat.gif (May 1-09) and DD2 heartbeat.gif (Nov 2-11)   

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#185 of 193 Old 09-18-2011, 12:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Man...Im ashamed to say that I dont think I could check my own cervix even if I knew what to feel for...I doubt I can reach anymore!!

 

Poor husband has been put on "hedge trimming" duty lately.

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#186 of 193 Old 09-18-2011, 12:12 PM
 
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Thanks for the support, ladies.  smile.gif  I know I'm just running into this woman's own personal hangups and it's not really my problem, but it's always a little stressful going in there not knowing if she's going to be all body-negative at me that day or not.  The other midwives in the practice aren't like that at all and haven't given me any stress around it.  I'm also pretty sure it will be fine to have this one attending my birth, because from what I hear she performs really well in L&D, and anyway I can't choose who I'll be with so I just won't worry about it.  Seems like she could use a little therapy or something though.


heartbeat.gif  Baby girl arrived 10/11/11 heartbeat.gif

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#187 of 193 Old 09-18-2011, 12:25 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DragonflyMom View Post

Man...Im ashamed to say that I dont think I could check my own cervix even if I knew what to feel for...I doubt I can reach anymore!!

 

Poor husband has been put on "hedge trimming" duty lately.



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Beth knit.gif.  wife to DH and Mama to DD1 heartbeat.gif (May 1-09) and DD2 heartbeat.gif (Nov 2-11)   

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#188 of 193 Old 09-18-2011, 12:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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biglaugh.gif


Well, I guess Im glad someones getting a laugh out of it...Im being serious.

 

I told him the other night "You realize I expect you to do a quick "cleanup" when I start going into labor/before we head to the hospital"..He has gotten really good at it too lol.

 

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#189 of 193 Old 09-18-2011, 01:30 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DragonflyMom View Post

Man...Im ashamed to say that I dont think I could check my own cervix even if I knew what to feel for...I doubt I can reach anymore!!

 

Poor husband has been put on "hedge trimming" duty lately.


Yeah, I had to have my husband do it yesterday. Last time I tried, I removed some flesh. With an electric razor! With a blade guard! I was NOT going to risk that again - it took almost 3 weeks to heal. He was all worried about how it was going to look. I was like, uh, who cares?

Homebirth Midwife biggrinbounce.gif

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#190 of 193 Old 09-18-2011, 01:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, I had to have my husband do it yesterday. Last time I tried, I removed some flesh. With an electric razor! With a blade guard! I was NOT going to risk that again - it took almost 3 weeks to heal. He was all worried about how it was going to look. I was like, uh, who cares?


Mine had gotten damn good at shaving my legs..he is still nervous about doing my...."under-carriage"....lol.

 

 

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#191 of 193 Old 09-18-2011, 02:01 PM
 
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Oh, I hadn't considered asking for leg shaving help. I've just been doing the flamingo. The big, unwieldy, pregnant, uncoordinated Flamingo.

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#192 of 193 Old 09-18-2011, 02:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh, I hadn't considered asking for leg shaving help. I've just been doing the flamingo. The big, unwieldy, pregnant, uncoordinated Flamingo.


LOL!! Thanks for the amusing visual!!
 

I did that for awhile but I have a pinched nerve in my back that started making bending over impossible at about 35 weeks, now I need help putting on my undies and pants, not to mention keeping my lady parts presentable lol.

 

I dropped a piece of bread on the floor yesterday morning while making a sandwich and went "Well...thats gone forever"...lol!

 

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#193 of 193 Old 09-19-2011, 05:49 AM
 
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Thankfully my providers (the new ones, I switched due to issues with the first and vBAC) aren't concerned about my weight - they shouldn't be - I've only gained 8 lbs - I'm grateful! My blood pressure has even gone up, but since it's stable - been the same for the last 3 visits - the OB isn't concerned. no swelling or weight gain, or protein in urine either, so  I guess it's just my new "normal". 

 

I don't do hedgetrimming, and can't imagine asking DH to do it! LOL I still shave my legs once in a while though.

 

Cervix checking - once in a while - I can tell something is changing down there, but can't exactly describe it. lower and softer, I'd guess. DD has also moved alot lower. It feels sometimes like my pelvis is going to break in two. Not fun, that. I'm so ready to be done! (I'm 38+5 and hoping I don't go past 40 weeks like I did with DS)

 

Oh - boppy pillow - I have one, but use it not for breastfeeding, but more as an infant positioner.  I use a 1/2 size throw pillow. so it's narrow and rectangular. For me, I found this to work the best. (FWIW with my first I mostly cradled or cross cradle nursed. the Football hold was something I never really mastered and just doesn't feel natural to me)

 


Katrina - Mama to Gabriel  sleepytime.gif 11/20/2009 and Norah vbac.gif 10/11/2011- married to Wayne - geek.gif novaxnocirc.gifbfinfant.giffamilybed1.gifcd.gif&nbspand now new baby Theodore born 3/11/13 vbac.gif

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