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#1 of 15 Old 04-23-2011, 11:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We still haven't announced Squiggle's gestation to our families and friends. I've only told two close friends that we're expecting and still seriously contemplating not telling our families until Squiggle is born. But I need some ideas for telling if we do decide to do it. I was thinking about a cryptic poem, something hard to figure out and something where the meaning won't be clear at first glance. Does anyone have suggestions on where to find something like that?
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#2 of 15 Old 04-23-2011, 11:10 PM
 
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Why all the secrecy?  


Loving wife to a wonderful and Godly man, hug.gif  and SAHM to two beautiful boys, DS1, natural hospital birth (2/2010) and DS2, beautiful homebirth (10/2011) cd.gifnursex2.gif

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#3 of 15 Old 04-24-2011, 04:12 AM
 
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Originally Posted by PseudoDiva View Post

Why all the secrecy?  



yeahthat.gif Do you live somewhere isolated from all your family and friends? Isn't the pregnancy going to be obvious at some point? 

I feel like pregnancy and babies and birth should be celebrated and families and friends should be included as soon as you feel comfortable with them knowing. There is so much joy and excitement in this rite of passage and it feels nice to be supported and taken care of by those who care about you. 


Happily parenting our snuggly wild child since 2007 and her little brother since 2011!

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#4 of 15 Old 04-24-2011, 06:26 AM
 
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We bought a picture frame thing that had a quote about grandparents. On either side of the quote was a spot for a picture. We put a picture of ds on one side and a piece of paper that said "coming in October 2011" in the other side. It wasn't supposed to be cryptic at all, but it took ds's parents a little while to figure it out. duh.gif With my parents and siblings I just called them all and told them (I don't live near any of them).

 

I assume you don't live near this family, but what about mailing grandparents a grandparent mug or shirt or something and see if they figure it out?


Steph, DH Jason (1-1-11), DS Owen (10-3-03) and DS Kai (10-13-11)

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#5 of 15 Old 04-24-2011, 11:43 AM
 
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We took a picture of youngest DD in a "big sister" shirt and sent it out to everyone - it was not meant to be cryptic, but a few people didn't get it and just thought it was a cute picture!


SAHM to DD1 - 6 blahblah.gif, DD2- 3energy.gif,DS Oct 2011 babyboy.gif Wife to dh.   homeschool.giftoddler.gif  sleepytime.giffamilybed1.gif

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#6 of 15 Old 04-24-2011, 06:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I will not allow anyone to steel my joy about this pregnancy. It might be hard for those who are now expecting a first or second to understand, but people don't always react with excitement about subsequent babies. With my last baby, my father got up and walked away when we announced and never mentioned the pregnancy until our girl was born. In fact, he got angry any time anything about our coming baby came up. My mother chalked my pregnancy up to a birth control failure and when I told her our baby was planned and very much wanted, she also ignored the pregnancy like it wasn't happening until our daughter was born. This is mine. I get to be happy and excited about this. I will not allow unsupportive, narrow minded people to ruin this pregnancy. We live on a different continent from our families, so they will not know about this baby until we're ready to tell them. It's not about secrecy. It's about protecting our privacy at long last.
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#7 of 15 Old 04-25-2011, 05:33 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Veronika01 View Post

I will not allow anyone to steel my joy about this pregnancy. It might be hard for those who are now expecting a first or second to understand, but people don't always react with excitement about subsequent babies. With my last baby, my father got up and walked away when we announced and never mentioned the pregnancy until our girl was born. In fact, he got angry any time anything about our coming baby came up. My mother chalked my pregnancy up to a birth control failure and when I told her our baby was planned and very much wanted, she also ignored the pregnancy like it wasn't happening until our daughter was born. This is mine. I get to be happy and excited about this. I will not allow unsupportive, narrow minded people to ruin this pregnancy. We live on a different continent from our families, so they will not know about this baby until we're ready to tell them. It's not about secrecy. It's about protecting our privacy at long last.

In this case I would have no problem with keeping it a secret and, when baby is born, send a picture with a note "welcome baby xxxxxx to our family".

(((hugs to you dear)))

Steph, DH Jason (1-1-11), DS Owen (10-3-03) and DS Kai (10-13-11)

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#8 of 15 Old 04-25-2011, 08:07 AM
 
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I agree with Steph. Sorry you're experiencing this.

Loving wife to a wonderful and Godly man, hug.gif  and SAHM to two beautiful boys, DS1, natural hospital birth (2/2010) and DS2, beautiful homebirth (10/2011) cd.gifnursex2.gif

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#9 of 15 Old 04-25-2011, 08:57 AM
 
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I don't blame you for wanting to keep this from them. Honestly, if they are so hostile, I would just not ever tell them and let them figure it out.


Making a March 9th sandwich with a Halloween filling.
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#10 of 15 Old 04-25-2011, 09:30 AM
 
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One question I'd ask if I were in your shoes is which will cause worse family "fallout:" hiding the pregnancy, or telling them and risking their displeasure?  Will they be more upset that you're pregnant, or that you hid the pregnancy from them because of their bad reaction the last time around?  Just a thought...It is a tricky situation and I totally understand your desire to be surrounded by support during this time. 


Loving wife to a wonderful and Godly man, hug.gif  and SAHM to two beautiful boys, DS1, natural hospital birth (2/2010) and DS2, beautiful homebirth (10/2011) cd.gifnursex2.gif

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#11 of 15 Old 04-25-2011, 11:16 AM
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I don't blame you for wanting to keep this from them. Honestly, if they are so hostile, I would just not ever tell them and let them figure it out.

What she said. I would have NO problem not telling in that situation.

 

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. hug.gif It sounds like they are a real piece of work.

 

Though honestly, if people feel that they have the right to comment on your family planning choices, I would assume it really isn't about number of children. Rather, it's about them not having any respect for normal boundaries. If they must be judgmental and form opinions about things that aren't any of their business, they ought to at least keep those opinions to themselves. It's basic human decency.


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#12 of 15 Old 04-25-2011, 11:33 AM
 
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I'm so sorry you had to go through that.  A pregnancy is a joyous time.  I sort of understand your thoughts though to keep is secret and with your past experience I can understand why.  For us, I'm not looking forward to telling my family not because I think they'll be negative but because it opens my life up to a million questions and my moms tend to have a million anxieties that they tack onto my own pregnancy hormonally induced anxieties.  In your situation, I'd say keep it mum and tell those you wish to tell.  A nice announcement at birth is fine too.  Do not let anyone rain on your joyous time.  Pregnancy is a special bonding time with your new baby and with your own immediate family.  The most important thing is you and your family.  Hugs.


 

 

 

 


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#13 of 15 Old 04-25-2011, 06:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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One question I'd ask if I were in your shoes is which will cause worse family "fallout:" hiding the pregnancy, or telling them and risking their displeasure?


I don't care about their displeasure or any fallout with them. There is always fallout about everything, no matter how big or small. I'm thankful to have a choice in telling or not this time. I'm also thankful to be able to breathe without someone counting how many breaths I'm allowed to take. Even from a continent away, they try to control everything we do. If they're angry enough about our coming baby to make a scene, I have the choice of not having to put up with it this time. So all in all, I'm at a point where I really don't care what they think either way.

Thanks for the support, ladies. Does anyone have ideas on how to tell our other friends in a creative, cryptic way? I'd just like to make it really fun for those close enough to me to be trusted with this news.

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#14 of 15 Old 04-25-2011, 06:16 PM
 
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Thanks for the support, ladies. Does anyone have ideas on how to tell our other friends in a creative, cryptic way? I'd just like to make it really fun for those close enough to me to be trusted with this news.
 


Someone I know (this is somewhat elaborate) had a t-shirt printed that had a bun in an oven and wore it to tell her family. We had DS tell people.


Making a March 9th sandwich with a Halloween filling.
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#15 of 15 Old 04-26-2011, 08:53 AM
 
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We made a calendar of cute family photos. On the due date for our baby (our first), we put something like "baby due" or like you would a holiday notice on that date.

 

I know what it's like to have family that don't celebrate pregnancies like we do. My MIL has been sad about each pregnancy from our first--but loves the babies once they're born. Very very strange.

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