Explaining pregnancy to a 2 year old - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 11 Old 05-03-2011, 06:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have mentioned my pregnancy to my son several times, he even went to my prenantal visit with me and talks about it daily but apparently it didn't register until yesterday. He is a very physical kid and was jumping all over me as usual..but him landing on my stomach is starting to hurt. So I told him no more jumping on my stomach because he will hurt the baby (because I know hurting me won't phase him but he is protective of babies). The look on his face was priceless! He was so confused. He was trying to lift up my shirt and pull down my pants to find the baby. He kept asking me all night where the baby was and the first words out of his mouth this morning were "where is the baby?" I keep trying to explain that it is inside my tummy and his answer is "well take it out". I can't figure out how to explain it so he will get it. I'm trying to find a good book but of course they all have the "loving daddy" in them which I am afraid will cause more confusion. All my kids are the 3 years apart give or take a few months but I don't remember any of them having such a hard time grasping it...although my youngest is far more verbal and articulate then the others were at this age so maybe they just couldn't express it as well? Does anyone have any books or ideas to help him understand?


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#2 of 11 Old 05-03-2011, 07:40 AM
 
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I don't know of any books, but maybe if you sit down and tell him (or even illustrate) your pregnancy with him?  Tell him about when he was that little in your tummy, how he needed time to grow bigger before he was born, how he kept growing after he was born, etc.  Maybe add in that his older siblings were littler then too and he will keep growing, always be the big brother, etc. 


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#3 of 11 Old 05-03-2011, 08:34 AM
 
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It is hard for sure! With DS I ask him where the baby is and he says "In tummy!" and has even lifted my shirt in public to show me my tummy, but I think that he thinks that is where the baby is going to live forever. I think he will be suprised when the baby comes out so I am trying to explain that part to him (and that he once lived in "mommy's tummy" and have been showing him birth videos (mostly home birth, since I want him around if it is cool with him when I push the baby out) and talking about birth in simple two year old terms.


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#4 of 11 Old 05-03-2011, 12:31 PM
 
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what about showing him ultrasound pics online, or watching "in the womb".  birth videos (animals might be a nice way to start - as they are very calm) might help, too.

 

my 2 y/o knows that the baby is in the belly, and he sees U/S photos and says "baby" but I dont' think he gets it yet.  I hesitate to start showing him birth videos yet, only b/c 5 mo is an eternity to someone so young, and I don't want him thinking that birth is imminent.  I'm thinking of showing the birth videos and reading "hello baby" when i'm 36w or so.


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#5 of 11 Old 05-03-2011, 01:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the thoughts. I keep talking and I showed him the magazine we got from the midwife which has awesome in utero pictures. I watch birth videos all the time an have never stopped him from watching too when he feels like it. I think he must have remembered those because he asked if the baby is in my butt. He still keeps looking for the baby so I will just keep explaining and looking for pictures as suggested.


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#6 of 11 Old 05-03-2011, 01:18 PM
 
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I'm interested in this thread! DD just turned 2 late last week so she's a young 2. I have talked a little but not worrying about it too much right now. I am assuming that as my body changes, and she gets older and more verbal, we'll have more to talk about. I am also going to look at some more books for her- more about birth and new babies though. I am thinking that playng some games might be nice, also looking at videos closer to the time of the birth (we are planning a homebirth and she will be welcome to be here if she wants to. my parents live upstairs though so she will also have them to go to if its not interesting or stressful.) DS was 4 1/2 when DD was born, it was so different to deal with discussing this with an older kid. 

 

 

 


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#7 of 11 Old 05-03-2011, 01:59 PM
 
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Well, it's not devoid of daddy references, but I like the book "When You Were Inside Mommy" by Joanna Cole.  http://www.amazon.com/When-You-Were-Inside-Mommy/dp/0688170439/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1304456158&sr=8-1

 

Sorry I don't have any better suggestions.  It's frustrating that so many of these important books only depict one kind of family structure.


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#8 of 11 Old 05-03-2011, 02:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the book suggestion. Yes it is very frustrating that the majority of the books I am finding are not only depicting a two parent family with only one older child but that so far what I have seen the families are all white...nothing at all like my family :( Hmm maybe I should write a children's book about pregnancy and birth.....of course since I can't even explain it to my son well I'm not sure how effective it would be lol.


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#9 of 11 Old 05-03-2011, 04:42 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hjdmom24 View Post

Thanks for the book suggestion. Yes it is very frustrating that the majority of the books I am finding are not only depicting a two parent family with only one older child but that so far what I have seen the families are all white...nothing at all like my family :( Hmm maybe I should write a children's book about pregnancy and birth.....of course since I can't even explain it to my son well I'm not sure how effective it would be lol.


Well, the Inside Mommy book does feature a white family (of course), but another Joanna Cole book we've been enjoying is "The New Baby at Your House."  It does have quite a bit of text, which you can edit as you see fit, but I like that it features families of various ethnicities (color photographs)....though still 2-parent heterosexual families.  Not really for explaining pregnancy, more for what to expect once the baby is born (what babies are like, feelings that older siblings may have, etc.). 

 

I say Go write your own book!  (Once you have everything figured out.)  I've toyed with the idea of writing picture books for young kids that feature non-white characters and/or non-heterosexual characters but that aren't actually about, say, "Black History" or "Having Two Moms."  When I was teaching, I diversified my classroom library as much as I could, but found it so hard to find books with diverse characters that weren't about a related Issue.  Drove me crazy.
 

 


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#10 of 11 Old 05-03-2011, 05:23 PM
 
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Thanks for starting this thread.  My DS is 27 months, and I've been talking to him a lot about the changes happening in our family.  He does know that there's a baby in my belly (he thinks it's in my belly button, though- lol), and that one day it will come out and live with us in our home.  He knows that the baby will drink mama milk, and wear diapers, and that he can help mama change the diapers, and we have to be gentle with the baby.   I don't know how much of it he really understands, though.  He repeats the things I tell him all the time, but I don't think it will be real for him until there's actually a baby he can see.  I think some books would probably help.  I'm going to check the library for some of the ones mentioned here.   SoS SII ti


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#11 of 11 Old 05-04-2011, 01:17 PM
 
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My daughter is 2 years and 10 months old and from the get go, she's attended my ultrasound and doctor's appointments. She loves to hear the baby's heartbeat. I don't think she realized the baby was in my belly until the sonogram. She still jumps and rough houses but if I tell her to be gentle with the baby, she will. She sometimes kisses my belly at night to kiss the baby good night. I think it takes some time and it ebbs and flows. One day she can't stop talking about my belly and the baby. The next she completely forgets. We have two books in the house that have been helpful. One is a book my husband bought me when I was pregnant with number 1. I think it's called, "There's nothing to do in here." It's written as a humorous account from the baby inside to the mommy. There are colorful images of the caricature baby in utero. This was what first helped everything click for my daughter. After we read that book, she kept trying to stuff stuffed animals in my belly button for her baby. (I'm not at the point where I want to explain how the baby comes out yet.) The second book is the Dr. Sears book. Actually I think it's two books: Baby on the Way and What Baby Needs. They help me explain how sometimes I don't have the energy to play or crawl into her play house, etc... Essentially, I think DH and I try to talk to TG about what may be going on with the baby or what she can do with the baby once a day. She's slowly getting it. The latest question from her is when will the baby come out? Since she doesn't have the concept of months yet, I told her that it's spring time and the leaves are growing on the trees. When the leaves turn red and brown and begin to fall, the baby will be ready to come out and say hello. She now tells everyone proudly when the leaves fall down, the baby will come out to play. Hope our experience helps.

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