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#1 of 57 Old 07-25-2011, 09:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I figured I get the ball rolling for the week...


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#2 of 57 Old 07-25-2011, 09:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I was just reading in last weeks chat about intrusive family members after birth. I feel really luck that my family is very respectful of our time. My mom will be here (we asked her to come) and that is it. With DD we just stayed home and bonded with the babe. My mom helped around the house and worked on some projects she brought with her. It was really nice. I would love my family to be closer so that we could share our baby with them sooner but they live far away. DH's family didn't see DD for a long time. His mom came when she was 6 months old and the rest of his family saw her when she was 18 months old. They live even further! I think his folks will plan a trip here to see us but likely not until the babe is several months old. That is what we want from them so it works out.

 

Rosemary: Does your SIL knit? Maybe you could pick out a nice pattern for a sweater from Ravelry and have her make it. If you plan to cloth diaper you could do longies to for a cute set. That would be great for an October baby!

 

DD and I are leaving tomorrow for a 2+ week trip to visit family. I can't wait to see them! My folks and sister live next door to each other on a small farm. Lots of critters, lots of cousins, lots of space! It's going to be amazing. We'll miss DH but if I don't get my family fix twice a year I go crazy. DD will love having all of her cousins to play with too! :) Yeah!

 


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#3 of 57 Old 07-25-2011, 10:27 AM
 
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I'm feeling pretty lucky, too, but I'm hoping I'm not being naive. My mom is 2-3 hours away and will drive here as soon as I tell her I'm in labor. She doesn't want to be there while I'm in labor (thank goodness) so I'm going to designate her as the official "keep everyone posted and answer our cell phones" person. I made it VERY clear to DH last night that I do not even want to SEE a phone let alone HEAR one while in labor. My mom will be happy that she has something to do while I'm laboring, and she can still be there for the birth.

She'll stay in town for a week to see the baby (and take care of me - my childbirth instructor just told me I'm supposed to lay low for at least 3-5 days. Wish someone would have told me that sooner), and then I have a week to myself until the inlaws arrive.

All I'm really worried about is crappy parenting advice or people trying to control the parenting situation. I don't want people trying to feed the baby (that's my job!) or telling me to let it CIO, etc. But I'll be really thankful for my mom if she keeps us fed during that first week! She's an amazing cook and DH plans to go straight back to work following the birth, so I will love having her around. I'm just hoping my MIL is understanding that I might not be jumping out of bed and putting on my old jeans the day after the birth, as she claims to have done with her five kids...

Alaskan Wife and Mama to my special little guy ribbluyel.gif (9/13/11) and expecting #2 (2/21/13)!

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#4 of 57 Old 07-25-2011, 06:20 PM
 
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Karli- imo its nice to have one supportive family member visiting. any more than that, not so nice. Its more work FOR you (b/c no matter what they say, you are the hostess) and honestly its no more help TO you. I had my mom there for about 2 weeks the first time, and for a week the second (but she'd already been there for almost 3 weeks!) I don't think anyone will be telling you to let a newborn CIO (I hope not!) and as for feeding, it might be hard for your mom to not be involved, is this her first grandkid? My mom BF her own kids and was totally in support of my bfing, but she admitted that it was weird not to be able to "do" anything to help them when they were newborns.

 

We live downstairs from my whole family now, I have no idea what its going to be like! I hope its great- since I have two olders- and I'll still have my own space in which to retreat. I assume the ILs will want to come visit soon after but they absolutely detest and fear NYC, so we aren't likely to get them staying too long. My DH has never been able to take off more than 2 days (one for the birth, day after) so I am certainly glad to have family close by.

 

I am out of town for 2 months in this very rural place. I went to the local hospital clinic (which doesn't provide maternity care) to get some blood draws (anemia) and have my rhogam shot (I brought my own rhogam with me!). Anyway I had to see a doctor to authorize it, and the doctor was an old guy (according to my parents he was actually retired, and then got bored, and came back to work). He felt my belly and talked to me a little and then told me that back in the old days, when he was the country doctor and treated everyone in the area, he delivered over 400 babies, but he hasn't done that in a long time. He even delivered a few at home. He was really relaxed and it was nice to meet a doctor with that kind of low-key attitude. However, if I *were* to go into preterm labor here (I did actually want to ask what they would do) he said they would arrange a helicopter transport to one of the closest hospitals with full NICU capacity, which are both 3 hours drive away (Syracuse NY or Burlington VT). Yikes! I am used to living in a big city where you are just minutes from that kind of facility. It sounds dense of me, perhaps, but I just hadn't really thought about being in a place where that is not the case.

 

 


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#5 of 57 Old 07-25-2011, 09:19 PM
 
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Popping in real quick to ask if anyone has experience with swelling and low blood pressure? I've been swelling a lot more during the past 5ish days. It gets worse as the day goes on but is better by morning. I've watched my bp during the whole time, and it was picture perfect for me (around 110/70). Tonight my feet were swelling again. So I relaxed in a recliner and drank even more water (I've been drinking tons). Then I went upstairs, got ready for bed and took my bp. It was 110/44. Thinking that bottom number must be wrong, I took it again. 110/46. Pulse is fine (88). What's up with the low bottom number? That is really low for me. I don't feel dizzy or anything.

I plan on going to sleep and seeing what it is in the morning. If it's still funky, i'll call my dr.

Steph, DH Jason (1-1-11), DS Owen (10-3-03) and DS Kai (10-13-11)

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#6 of 57 Old 07-26-2011, 06:55 AM
 
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I'm wondering what you all do about cervical checks. My Dr did one yesterday at my 28 week appt, I think because I had a pre-term labor scare that turned out to be NOTHING but she said she would like to do one as sort of a base line. My cervix was closed. She said I don't have to do any more, although 36 weeks is the strep B test and might be a good time to anyways. Apart from that she said I can skip them all together or request one whenever. She said many times they mean nothing (a woman could be dilated for the whole last month, or go from zero to 5 in a day.) Do you have think you will have them on a regular basis or choose none?

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#7 of 57 Old 07-26-2011, 08:14 AM
 
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Quote:

Originally Posted by MN BabyDust View Post

I'm wondering what you all do about cervical checks. My Dr did one yesterday at my 28 week appt, I think because I had a pre-term labor scare that turned out to be NOTHING but she said she would like to do one as sort of a base line. My cervix was closed. She said I don't have to do any more, although 36 weeks is the strep B test and might be a good time to anyways. Apart from that she said I can skip them all together or request one whenever. She said many times they mean nothing (a woman could be dilated for the whole last month, or go from zero to 5 in a day.) Do you have think you will have them on a regular basis or choose none?


 

With DS I had cervical checks starting around 36 weeks and they told me nothing. In fact they were rather discouraging. I was "high, closed, and thick"  on every check, including the one done at 40 weeks 1 day after I had been in "warm-up labor" that morning. That night I went into full blown labor and had my DS the next morning. I am electing not to have any done this time.

 


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#8 of 57 Old 07-26-2011, 08:49 AM
 
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emmaegbert, yes, this us my mom's first grandbaby, and both her and DH have already stated that they want/expect me to pump so I can leave the baby with them. My MIL formula fed all if her kids (I think) and I'm not sure how it will be when I have to excuse myself to feed the baby. I don't expect them to encourage me to let a newborn CIO, but that was the best example i could think of. All I know is there is a huge gap in parenting ideologies, and I'm nervous about how it will play out. We're expecting to have to fight with DH's parents about money while they are here though. They won't stop buying stuff for the baby, are trying to give us a large amount if cash for our house, and gave declared that they will be buying us a "housewarming gift" when they get here. We don't need any of this, and would much rather see them take a lovely vacation somewhere,so this could get interesting.

Steph, my blood pressure is the lowest it has been in my life (pregnancy makes me healthier I guess?) and I just started swelling over the past few days. My rings actually fit now (they were spinning before) and I'm starting to notice slight cankles and whatever the wrist equivalent if cankles is. smile.gif I'm guessing this is just par for the course...

DH and I got home from work last night, went straight to bed, and slept about twelve hours. I wish I could say I felt guilty, but in reality I could easily go back to bed right now. I'm so tired I've been skipping meals to sleep, which I'm sure is not helping the vicious cycle...

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#9 of 57 Old 07-26-2011, 09:28 AM
 
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Re: cervical checks- I don't remember having any at the end last time, and I don't intend to this time (unless there's a really good reason). I just don't see much point, when a person can walk around 4 cm dilated for weeks before going into labor (or, they can be at a 0 and go into labor that night).

 

Re: guests during labor/delivery- I have made it very clear that only dh and I will be at the hospital. NOBODY else will even be at the hospital during labor/delivery (I don't want to feel like people are waiting around and then have pressure put on me if I'm not "fast enough"). In my ideal world, I would start having contractions early morning (4 or 5am) on a school day, take ds to school (or let dh take ds to school) and then head to the hospital when I feel like delivery is right around the corner (ideally around 10am). Deliver baby around 11am or noon, have a couple hours together and then have dh pick up ds from school (right around the corner from the hospital) and bring him to the hospital to see the new baby. In this ideal situation, we wouldn't even have to call MIL/FIL until after the baby is born (so there's no chance of them showing up at the hospital before we want them there). Unfortunately, the situation isn't likely to play out that way lol.gif  In reality, we will have to call MIL/FIL to come watch ds while I go to the hospital (they are one of the very few people who we trust to watch ds because of his autism so I don't have much choice). Even though I've been very clear that nobody is to come to the hospital (or call our cell phones asking for updates), I'm willing to bet money that FIL stays at our house with ds and MIL goes to the hospital, uninvited. I will make it clear to the nurses that nobody is to be there (except dh) and let them deal with it. And then after the baby is born, I will likely be a huge b*tch and refuse to let MIL in the room if she can't respect my wishes to stay away until we give the okay to come. We have promised ds that he will be the first person to see the baby, so if MIL even attempts to ruin that I will just tell the nurses she isn't allowed in the room at all, for any reason, and let the nurses and hospital security deal with her.

 

Re: guests after delivery- If MIL/FIL have followed our rules about not coming to the hospital during labor/delivery, then I have no problem letting them see the baby later that day, after ds has had a chance to see the baby and we've had a chance to spend some time together. Once we get home I will insist on very short visits (since they live 5 minutes away then this is not a problem). And I am not above taking the baby and locking us in the bedroom if they don't get the hint to leave. orngtongue.gif After dh goes back to work is when I know the problems with MIL will start. She will constantly be calling to "see if everything is okay" or showing up at our house unannounced/uninvited. I plan on making a sign for the door. One side will say "Welcome- come on in!" and the other side will say "Shhhh.... mama and baby are resting. Please come back later". DH has already made it clear to her that she is NOT to come in when the sign is flipped to the "go away" side and she is NOT to call me for any reason. When ds is at school, that will be my rest time with the baby. I will not have it disturbed. I can't turn off my phone (ds's school calls me often because of his behavior issues so I need to be able to answer when they call) so if MIL calls me after we told her not to then there will be h*ll to pay. I don't anticipate many other visitors since all my family is far away. A couple friends might stop by, but that's about it.

 

I have to drive to Michigan for a court hearing on November 8th (less than 4 weeks after the due date, so baby could only be 2 weeks old, depending on when he decides to come out). I will see my parents and some of my siblings at that time. I have a feeling the Judge is going to order me to drive back to Michigan for Thanksgiving weekend, so we'll see my family then too.


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#10 of 57 Old 07-26-2011, 09:39 AM
 
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Quote:
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emmaegbert, yes, this us my mom's first grandbaby, and both her and DH have already stated that they want/expect me to pump so I can leave the baby with them.

I strongly (and gently) encourage you to stand up for yourself on this one. I imagine the last thing you want to do is mess with the nursing relationship and possibly make it even harder. Maybe around 6 weeks try pumping and introduce a bottle, but be very cautious.

 

With my ds, I pumped a lot (I had oversupply) but I froze it all, ds wanted nothing to do with a bottle (and since his bio-dad wasn't involved and I had no reason to leave ds with anyone else, I didn't really try the bottle too much). I used some of it when making baby food for him, the rest I gave to my sister to use with her ds (they were born 7 weeks apart and she had undersupply). When ds was around 9 months old he did start going with his bio-dad for an hour here and there, and I did provide a couple ounces of breastmilk (though he almost never drank any of it) but by then he was using a sippy cup instead of a bottle.

 

This time, dh really wants to be able to feed a bottle sometimes BUT he understands that the nursing relationship comes first. He's willing to wait until breastfeeding is established before we try pumping and bottles. Unfortunately, I have a court hearing just 4 weeks after the due date that will likely take me several hours. My mom will be watching the baby during that time, so I will need to have pumped milk and have introduced the bottle by that day (even if baby is just 2 weeks old). I'm kinda pissed about it, but there's not much I can do. I'm secretly hoping the baby is born around 38 weeks so that he's around 6 weeks old by my court date. Other than for the court date, and maybe a bottle a day for dh to feed to ds (dh stays up later than I do some nights so he has offered to feed a pumped bottle when baby wakes up before dh goes to sleep so that I can get a few more solid hours of sleep), I won't be pumping to let others feed ds.


Steph, DH Jason (1-1-11), DS Owen (10-3-03) and DS Kai (10-13-11)

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#11 of 57 Old 07-26-2011, 10:43 AM
 
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Karli, I'd say let the grandparents give some gifts if they want, especially if they are willing to let you chose the gifts! I mean, if that is what they want to do, just let them have the pleasure of it? My ILs always want to give the kids loads of clothes... many impractical or ill-fitting ones at that... or things we just don't really like... I have finally learned to just say "thanks!" and then do what I want with them. I have learned that when they ask if we need them to get this stuff, it doesn't matter if I say "no" or try to remind them that we are 4 people (soon to be 5) living in 2 rooms and the entire family literally shares one small closet and one dresser. I try to remember: this is how some people show love, and I am not going to change them much at this point. I might be able to redirect them towards something a little more suitable to our needs...

 

And, as for pumping to leave baby behind... for now I'd recommend you just say, "we'll see" b/c who knows. You might have a really mellow baby and you might WANT to go out to dinner or something. I guess b/c I'm on #3 here and I've really never had the $$ to pay for childcare, it sounds kind of nice to spend an hour or two w/ your partner, as long as baby is being well cared-for by loving family members. (and I am not trying to be controversial. I am an exclusive and extended BFer, co-sleeper, babywearer, etc... but seriously... the 24/7 needs of babies can be very overwhelming. I am all in favor of moms feeling like its PERFECTLY FINE to do things for themselves also). And as for bottles... both my previous kids totally refused bottles. it was such a PITA!! I watched a couple of other friends (who BF successfully) intentionally introduce a bottle at a few weeks, once or twice a week... fed with expressed breastmilk... well, I've been thinking that is a good idea since I know that my ability to make milk is just fine. I actually am now of the opinion that an occasional bottle isn't going to wreck the nursing relationship, unless there are some other issues going on. I wouldn't do it in the first 2 weeks or so (unless you have to... and StephandOwen you can ask your mom to syringe feed if the baby is really still a newborn...) or until you feel like nursing is well established, but I am not sure its the worst thing in the world either... having had the experience of babies with a bottle aversion, ugh, puts you on SUCH a short leash.

 

cervical checks: I am totally with StephandOwen. if there is no actual, pressing reason for them, I refuse. (there has never been a pressing reason in my case.) I didn't do that my first pregnancy and in retrospect- what was the point? 12hrs before my son was born, I was at 0. Other people walk around for days or even weeks at 4. What can this really matter in that case?


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#12 of 57 Old 07-26-2011, 10:56 AM
 
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I'm also trying to figure out family visits after the birth.  My guess date (meaning 40 weeks) is on October 18, so most likely I'll have this baby some time in the 2nd half of October.  We're in Boston. DH's parents are in NYC and have much more flexibility about scheduling a trip after baby is born.  My mom is in CO, and we planned on her coming out at the end of October to help for a couple of weeks (like 10 days).  We're fine if both sets of parents are here too.

 

For our homebirth, we were just planning on DH and our midwives.  (Two midwives and an apprentice).  My mom booked her flight over the weekend from Oct 27 - Nov 7th.  DH is a little worried that the baby may not even be born by then.  She expressed interest in coming even earlier (she can change her flight for no charge, go Soutwest Airlines!).  I'm not even sure how I feel about this, but the idea of *maybe* having my mom there for the birth is something to get used to... I don't even know how I feel about it.  Plus, I feel like if we were planning on her being there for the birth, I'd want her to come early enough and stay long enough so that we're reasonably sure that she'll be there for the birth.  I don't like the idea as much of her arriving during the peak birth window, and maybe being there, but maybe not.  That is, if I want her there.  And I guess part of me feels a little guilty, like how can I not want my mom there?  It is not that I actively don't want here there, it is just that DH and I are looking forward to sharing the birth experience together, as a couple.  Also, I think that DH feels stronger that he would prefer it to just be the two of us, and I am not sure how I feel (refer back to potentially guilty feelings about thinking that I should want her to be there...).  So, I'm not sure what to suggest to her- keep those dates, move them and come later, come earlier etc.  Obviously, this is my decision to figure out, but feel free to chime in here with advice, suggestions, considerations, or personal experiences!

 

Otherwise, this weekend DH and I started building our co-sleeper.  The top part is complete.  We just need to attach the legs, and slats that will attach it to our bed.  It is pretty big- the sides are tall enough so that we have the flexibility to keep baby in there for a loooooong time without worring about baby tumbling out.  We're also going to make a mattress out of felted wool, which is both water and fire resistant (and fits our custom-sized co-sleeper, and will be relatively free of toxic chemicals).

 

This weekend DH and I are going to Canada (somewhere just outside of Montreal).  DH's parents gave us a timeshare for a wedding gift, which we never used.  This is basically our babymoon, and will be the first trip we're taking ONLY for pleasure (rather than visiting people, weddings, mission trip etc).  Our only agenda is to spend time together doing whatever we feel like.  I can't wait!

 

Finally, re low blood pressure:  The bottom # of your bp can fluctuate a huge amount in a short amount of time, and depends a lot on activity level, stress, activity etc.  Steph- how are you taking your bp?  As for the swelling, keep on drinking water, and salt food to taste (even if it sounds counter-intuitive due to swelling).  Your blood pressure SHOULD be at its lowest point right about now because of our expanded blood volume.  We now have 50% more blood than we normally have, which is why it is expected to go down.  Blood volume peaks right around 28 weeks.  That means that a) we all need tons of fluid, and b) our organs are working twice as hard to process and filter our blood, and salt is essential to their proper function, which is why food should be salted to taste (and better to avoid processed foods high in sodium and instead add salt to food you cook).   


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#13 of 57 Old 07-26-2011, 12:07 PM
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Steph, I hope you are feeling fine today.

 

Re: cervical checks, I am not planning to get any before labour unless there is a clinical indication that I need one. They don't provide information that I find useful.

 

Re: pumping and bottles, I plan to pump and introduce a bottle as early as possible this time. After a rough start to breastfeeding with DS (thanks, NICU) we waited a long time to introduce a bottle, and by the time we did, it was too late. He never took a bottle, and it was a pain. I really want this baby to be able to take a bottle of pumped milk occasionally, perhaps even daily once we get in a rhythm.

 

Re: people at the birth, we didn't invite anyone for DS' birth, and aren't planning to this time, either. I know it hurt some feelings last time (especially my mom's) and that's too bad, but I am a private person and that's just how it is.

 

Quote:
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We're expecting to have to fight with DH's parents about money while they are here though. They won't stop buying stuff for the baby, are trying to give us a large amount if cash for our house, and gave declared that they will be buying us a "housewarming gift" when they get here. We don't need any of this, and would much rather see them take a lovely vacation somewhere,so this could get interesting.

 

For the same reason that they really don't have any say in how you parent your child, you don't really have any say in how they spend their money. Why would you want to go through the (likely frustrating) exercise of trying to control what they do with their money? If you don't want the baby stuff, donate it. If you don't want their house money, donate it, too. You can't force them to take a vacation. Just my 2 cents, but for what it's worth, this is coming from a history of having gone through this with my mom. And she was in financial trouble and asking us to borrow money at the same time, which made it that much more emotionally frustrating. I learned the hard way that rather than a fight, it was much more effective to just calmly detach from the issue and be clear about consequences. (As a bonus, this was great practice later for parenting a three year old.)


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#14 of 57 Old 07-26-2011, 01:22 PM
 
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It's not me I'm worried about. DH is the one that freaks out every time regarding their gifting. His parents constantly throw money at their kids and grandkids and never do anything for themselves. He's already told them to hold onto the cash in case we actually have a legit need this winter (he gets less hours at work, etc), but they aren't really listening. Also, I've only met my inlaws once, and this is the first time they will ever be staying in their son's house. I just am anxious about how things will go.

As far as pumping, I've made it clear that I would prefer to avoid it, if at all possible. If it becomes necessary, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Regardless, our less than six month old baby will NOT be going on hikes/hunts with his dad (DH went on his first week-long, remote hunt with his dad at 9 months), and he will definitely not be having any overnights with Gramma. When he's on solids and weened, we'll talk.

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#15 of 57 Old 07-26-2011, 02:42 PM
 
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cervical checks:  No, thanks.  We didn't do any until our induction last time.  I'm in the camp of there's-just-no-point (unless you're ruling out something ...) and that baby comes when baby comes.  I was surprised to find last time that I was already 7cm and 80% effaced when it came time for the induction at 37+ weeks (due to pre-e), which meant that I'd probably been one of those woman walking around at several cm dilated without knowing it.  That's likely why the natural induction worked so well (labour tea and labour cocktail with castor oil and oil of verbena as the key ingredients).

 

people at the birth:  I'll be the odd one out ... I'm totally okay with folks coming.  It's such an incredible experience to be able to witness a natural birth.  We had my partner, my sister, my mom, my best friend and her partner (who was photographing), our two midwives, and a student midwife at dd's birth.  The experience is something that we all cherished having shared.  This time, pretty much the same crowd.  My sister is my doula, my partner will be there of course, my mom will be there looking after dd, my best friend and her partner are going to do the photos again, and I have a friend who's in her first year of midwifery training who I said could come if it worked out.  To be honest, if a good friend asked to be there, I'd let them, circumstances permitting.  As a paramedic, I've caught seven babies, and each one was a learning and growing experience that I will hold close to my heart forever.  I like to be agreeable to offering 'teachable moments' whenever I can, and this one is a doozy that often changes people's ideas about natural childbirth. 

 

people visiting after the birth:  Again, maybe I'm the odd one out.  The more the merrier!  It takes a village to raise a child ... right from the start!  Having said that, I'm pretty lucky to have people around me who respect boundaries and listen to our requests when it comes to infants.  We kick people out when we want to be alone, we politely reschedule if we're too tired or overwhelmed, we ask for help with food and dog-walking of the folks that come, I have no trouble asking people not to put their fingers in baby's mouth or to wash their hands before handling the baby, I have no trouble taking the baby back whenever I want, we exclusively nurse (even with a supplementer), so no one else gets to feed the baby, and we don't use pacis either, so if the baby wants to suck, it'll be on my boob.  Everyone is so excited and full of love for new babies ... I like to bring that energy right to the infant so that they can bathe in it for themselves.   And people know that we would rather not have gifts, so we don't have to deal with a small home filled with stuff. 

 

pumping:  Pumping was my second worst experience of being a new mama, the first being a lack of enough milk to nourish my baby.  I pumped for about half an hour on each side after marathon nursing sessions, with no results from the pump (I've since learned that many women don't produce milk for the pump, even though the stimulation is valuable.).  I will not be pumping this time.  I hated being strapped to that gawd awful noisy contraption when I just wanted to be holding my baby close, without the tubes and flanges and machine in the way.  I detest pumping.  I'm thrilled that it works for many women ... but it will take up none of my time or thoughts this time.  This time, my dd can be my 'pump.' She still nurses, and knows that she has to wait until the baby has nursed before she nurses, so I can get her to nurse after and take care of the extra stimulation that way.  

 

QOTD: Anyone making a music playlist for the days and hours and minutes and seconds leading up to meeting your baby?  Any one have any fabulous songs to recommend?  I've just started putting together some music.  I've got the mellow end: Pony Boy (Elizabeth Mitchell ... LOVE her!), Lucky One (Allison Kraus), I and Love and You (Avitt Brothers), Teach Your Children (Crosby, Still, Nash, Young), several Micheal Franti songs (LOVE him), Anchorage (Michelle Shocked ... that one is a bit of an anthem for me, historically) ... and then some heavier stuff if I want it while labouring: Ganga Giri, Chemical Brothers, Kanye West, Zero 7, Portishead, Thievery Corporation, etc.  Looking for more!  Any ideas of lovely light songs, or deep, pulsing songs? 


dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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#16 of 57 Old 07-26-2011, 02:53 PM
 
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Amy May, please describe how you will make your felted wool mattress? That sounds...amazing.


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#17 of 57 Old 07-26-2011, 04:28 PM
 
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Been MIA for awhile, super busy this summer...happy to finally be able to read and catch up on everyone's doings!

 

Cervical checks:  honestly hadn't even thought about it...but I'll go along with the majority of you ladies, and just say no thanks I guess...it sounds like it would just make me worry more than actually being useful.

 

People at the birth: it'll just be me, DH, the midwife and her assistant, and my oldest sister who is also my doula (yay for sister-doulas, Starling!). My ILs all live a few hours away, and my mom actually doesn't even want to be there because she gets way too freaked out and scared about her daughters giving birth (you'd think that after having given birth TEN times herself, roughly half of us at home and even a successful UC - with a ten-pounder, at that - that she of all people would be comfortable and calm about birth, but nope...she just gets more stressed with the birth of every grandchild). It's fine with me though...much as I love her, I think it would stress me out for her to be there...as a middle child of ten, I've always been kind of the independent-loner and kind of get uncomfortable when I'm the focus of family attention (by loner I just mean I've always done my own thing...we are a very tight-knit family and I love them all dearly, I'm just differentshy.gif).

 

Visiting after the birth: we'll see how we feel after the birth, but right now I think we are planning on no visits from anyone for at least 24 hours (other than my sister who will be at the birth and will stay for a day or two to help out). We have a tiny house, and as can be inferred from above, a HUGE family, so I think it would just be totally overwhelming to have everyone coming to see the baby right away. Luckily, since I am sort of the "independent-loner" of the family, everyone miraculously seems to actually listen to and respect my wishes without getting offended, so it should all go pretty smoothly.

 

Pumping:  alas, although I would love to be able to NOT pump, I will have to. I have to go back to work 8 weeks after Squirrel is born, so I will have to have a frozen supply ready and already be sure that baby will take a bottle. I don't want to start pumping and introducing a bottle too early, but I also don't want to leave it too late and start panicking if baby refuses the bottle. Luckily I am able to do a gradual return-to-work schedule with totally flexible hours, and DH will be able to bring baby to me at work at least once a day for a feeding, so I'm hopeful that we'll be able to ease into it without too much stress or issues with supply/latch/bottles/etc....but any advice from you mamas who have BTDT would be greatly appreciated!  

 

QOTD: I've started thinking about it, but have not actually gotten as far as building a playlist. I know I'll want to include some Krishna Das (Breath of Heart album) for labor (I always listen to it when I do yoga, plus the rhythm and voice are deep and low, so I'm hoping it'll help me relax). "Let Me Be" by Xavier Rudd is a nice light happy song...hmm. I might just have to actually a list started now...thanks for the impetus, Starling!


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#18 of 57 Old 07-26-2011, 04:59 PM
 
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LaBruja, that is SO interesting about your mom! I'm scratching my head over that one...


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#19 of 57 Old 07-26-2011, 06:35 PM
 
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LaBruja, my mom is the same way. I read once that labor is the hardest on the mother of the woman in labor - it's just too hard to see "her baby" in pain.

Alaskan Wife and Mama to my special little guy ribbluyel.gif (9/13/11) and expecting #2 (2/21/13)!

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#20 of 57 Old 07-26-2011, 07:43 PM
 
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Cervical checks:  I had a surprise cervical check last week to make sure I wasn't leaking.  That's all I need, thanks!  Actually, I will let them check me on admission to L&D since it's standard, and I guess they like to check before I start pushing, but that should be it.  

 

Another question:  I'm eyeballing these realllly cute Hanna Andersson baby jackets that are cheap on Ebay, thinking about getting one... but how often do babies really wear sweaters/jackets?  Those of you with baby experience:  how do you dress them for cool/cold weather from 0 to 6 months?  Are waist-length fleece jackets nice, or is it more convenient to just go with a full length bunting/bodysuit or blanket?  We're in Iowa, so we'll have cool fall weather then cool to very cold winter weather.  


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#21 of 57 Old 07-26-2011, 08:58 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowdart View Post

Another question:  I'm eyeballing these realllly cute Hanna Andersson baby jackets that are cheap on Ebay, thinking about getting one... but how often do babies really wear sweaters/jackets?  Those of you with baby experience:  how do you dress them for cool/cold weather from 0 to 6 months?  Are waist-length fleece jackets nice, or is it more convenient to just go with a full length bunting/bodysuit or blanket?  We're in Iowa, so we'll have cool fall weather then cool to very cold winter weather.  



Well, it depends. If you are thinking about for carseat- skip the bunting/bodysuit stuff. They are way too puffy and interfere with the harness so shouldn't be warn in a carseat. How I do it (my ds was born in October too so I'll do it the exact same way this time) is to put baby in a onesie and diaper, outfit and then a sweater (not puffy) with a hat. Then put in carseat and cover with blanket (or if you aren't using a bucket then cover baby with a blanket then bring outside to the carseat). My ds had one of those fleece Hanna Anderson jackets (it was orange with a zoo theme and a pointy hat! So cute!) and it was perfect. Not too thick to interfere with the harness straps, but good enough to keep the chill off (I still covered the carseat with a blanket).

 

If you are thinking of situations not using a carseat (taking baby outside, going for a walk in the stroller, etc) then a bunting might be the way to go. My ds had one when he was young but we really only used it for playing in the snow (first sledding ride was at like 2 1/2 months old lol.gif).


Steph, DH Jason (1-1-11), DS Owen (10-3-03) and DS Kai (10-13-11)

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#22 of 57 Old 07-26-2011, 09:30 PM
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It's not me I'm worried about. DH is the one that freaks out every time regarding their gifting. His parents constantly throw money at their kids and grandkids and never do anything for themselves. He's already told them to hold onto the cash in case we actually have a legit need this winter (he gets less hours at work, etc), but they aren't really listening. Also, I've only met my inlaws once, and this is the first time they will ever be staying in their son's house. I just am anxious about how things will go.


Gotcha. Well, good luck to your DH, then. IME this is the kind of thing that you just cannot win, so it's less stressful to just find other ways to deal with it. (E.g., you hold onto the money until the winter in case you need it.) I hope the visit goes well, whatever happens on the money fight front!

 

LaBruja, that's so great about your flexible return schedule and your DH being able to bring you the babe once a day. FWIW, assuming no major breastfeeding issues this time, I am planning to introduce a bottle around 4 weeks, which is the advice I have been given by everyone I know who successfully breastfed and while WOH. I would think 8 weeks would be plenty of time to get the system going.


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#23 of 57 Old 07-26-2011, 09:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowdart View Post

Another question:  I'm eyeballing these realllly cute Hanna Andersson baby jackets that are cheap on Ebay, thinking about getting one... but how often do babies really wear sweaters/jackets?  Those of you with baby experience:  how do you dress them for cool/cold weather from 0 to 6 months?  Are waist-length fleece jackets nice, or is it more convenient to just go with a full length bunting/bodysuit or blanket?  We're in Iowa, so we'll have cool fall weather then cool to very cold winter weather.  


DS (born in summer, living in Canada) wore sweaters/jackets all the time through October/November and then again in the spring. In between, fleece buntings like this on mild days and, when it got really cold and/or we were doing things outside, a proper snow bunting like this. And we did put him in the car seat in a bunting; we just kept the straps as tight as they were without the bunting. It meant struggling to strap him in, but that way he didn't freeze in our cheap, poorly heated car.


professor & maman de DS1 (6) & DS2 (1)

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#24 of 57 Old 07-26-2011, 10:46 PM
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My QOTD: Is anyone else just cranky as all get out? It is taking all my self control to keep from snapping at my family, friends, coworkers, etc. these days.


professor & maman de DS1 (6) & DS2 (1)

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#25 of 57 Old 07-26-2011, 11:47 PM
 
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- we live in Canada and ds was a Jan baby...used fleece suit (from MEC...lol) and wind cover for carseat all winter.added a blanket under the carseat cover when needed

-as for pumping and bottles...I wish I had done it earlier with ds....did not do it until after 6 wks and he never took one...would not drink from anything but my boob until around 14mos!!!

 

with dd I started a bottle at 3 weeks when I went back to work part time...dh and ds got to feed her...it was really nice for them...and SIL (who was not able to have kids) got to feed her when she came to visit from Newfoundland.

 

dd is still on the boob (will be 2 in 3wks) and ds (4 1/2) tried to latch on after I had a shower this afternoon...where di that come from....dizzy.gif


mom to ds '07 first day of a new year, dd '09 in the caul, and  ds '11 at home Oct 24th

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#26 of 57 Old 07-27-2011, 05:28 AM
 
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Yellowdart, I'm not sure I'm "average" but I always put Pascal in sweaters and jackets when he was tiny. And Hanna Anderson stuff is usually good quality (as you know.)


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#27 of 57 Old 07-27-2011, 06:04 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AKChix0r View Post

LaBruja, my mom is the same way. I read once that labor is the hardest on the mother of the woman in labor - it's just too hard to see "her baby" in pain.

This is what my mom said after being there during the birth of my first. But she was also very glad she was there. And she was great, 100% unobtrusive. Actually she was the first to hodl DS b/c he had to be "stimulated" (massaged) to start breathing and the darn nurses did that away from me, meanwhile I was still delivering the placenta. So DH was with me and mom was with baby and I think I was less panicked than  would have otherwise been.


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowdart View Post

 

Another question:  I'm eyeballing these realllly cute Hanna Andersson baby jackets that are cheap on Ebay, thinking about getting one... but how often do babies really wear sweaters/jackets?  Those of you with baby experience:  how do you dress them for cool/cold weather from 0 to 6 months?  Are waist-length fleece jackets nice, or is it more convenient to just go with a full length bunting/bodysuit or blanket?  We're in Iowa, so we'll have cool fall weather then cool to very cold winter weather.  

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by RosemaryS-F View Post

Yellowdart, I'm not sure I'm "average" but I always put Pascal in sweaters and jackets when he was tiny. And Hanna Anderson stuff is usually good quality (as you know.)


I like jackets/sweaters for babies, and they can be hard to come by. Makes it easier to layer, taking a whole garment on and off a floppy newborn baby is a PITA. I also do not like onsies or on-piece stuff. I like separate pants and long gown or longer shirts. SO much easier for diaper changes IMO. Also when you have the inevitable poop blowouts or spitup explosions, sometimes part of the outfit is still wearable.

 

In NYC most people don't drive, and certainly not regularly. They mostly use these sort of sleeping-bag looking things that stay attached to the stroller, and baby is dressed warmly but not outrageously so, and popped in there. Makes a lot of sense. I am sure they make them for carseats too. The straps are inside the blanket/pouch. This past winter I didn't have one (they are pricey and I was too lazy/disorganized/busy to manage making one). we had a bitterly cold winter and I mostly stuffed my then-1yo in her ergo inside my parka. This winter I am going to actually make a panel that can zip in the front of a winter coat and I think it will be much more comfy for us all, and I expect baby will be in the wrap or mei tai in a front carry all winter, and 2yo will be in the stroller (maybe I'll finally make her a cozy cover for that... I even have some very thick fleece at the ready for the project. As for the following winter... ack, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Definitely not looking forward to wrangling a 1yo and a 3yo in bad weather on foot.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~pi View Post

 

LaBruja, that's so great about your flexible return schedule and your DH being able to bring you the babe once a day. FWIW, assuming no major breastfeeding issues this time, I am planning to introduce a bottle around 4 weeks, which is the advice I have been given by everyone I know who successfully breastfed and while WOH. I would think 8 weeks would be plenty of time to get the system going.


baby may get most of the feeding in with one good feed during the middle of the day- especially by 3 or 4m when they start to consolidate their feeding. Two of my IRL friends who went back to work around when baby was 4m did only two pumping sessions a day- one at work at lunchtime, one in the early AM (most women make more milk in the early AM). During weekends they kept up the early AM one and that went to freezer supply, but the weekday lunchtime pumping was just used fresh the next day.
 

AFM: DH may be applying for a second job. Its working for a theater (which is what he was doing before we moved) and I suspect not full time and mostly nights/weekends, and its just for a couple of months, so he may be able to do it together with his current job (which is M-F 7am-4pm). Its going to be a really hard winter for us both if he does do it... but we really are so tight for money that its awful... maybe it would work...


dissertating mom to three

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#28 of 57 Old 07-27-2011, 07:16 AM
 
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The wool mattress...  Well, I'll give you specifics when I figure that out for sure!

Here is our inspiration for the co-sleeper.

 

http://www.yes-have-some.com/2010/02/co-sleeper.html and http://www.yes-have-some.com/2010/02/co-sleeper-construction.html

 

They made alpaca felt for the sides, and then sewed it into a mattress.  I made a pair of worseted wool slippers before that I felted, but I don't know if I'll felt the wool myself (and we have no alpacs in our backyard either).

 

Our plan so far is to get a wool blanket from an army surplus store, as stiff as we can find, and layer it, and then sew a cover to make it one solid piece.  We'll make another wool cover, and then our own fitted sheets (probably just rectangles with elastic sides to slide over mattress.  Mattress will probably be 1-2" thick, and we might consider some sort of support inside the mattress if we need it to be thicker.  Our objective is to avoid chemicals.  Also, since the base of the co-sleeper is 20 x 36, we have to make one somehow in order to get the size right.  The unit is 30" tall (which is like 4" taller than a regulation crib), but after the mattress, it'll have a max interior height of 27-28" or so.  Again, it'll attatch to our bed for stability, but will have its own legs for support.

 

Here is a picture so far. 

co-sleeper.JPG

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by RosemaryS-F View Post

Amy May, please describe how you will make your felted wool mattress? That sounds...amazing.



 


Amy, feathering our nest with sweet husband O and baby girl, P (October 2011). 
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#29 of 57 Old 07-27-2011, 07:51 AM
 
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QOTD: I will most likely be listening to Hypnobabies tracks, but I have thought of a few songs as well - Let It Be - The Beatles, With My Own Two Hands Jack Johnson, You and Me Dave Matthews Band, and the two songs (one for a boy and one for a girl) that inspired our name choices. (DS #1 name also was inspired by a song.) On the way to work today I heard Lady Gaga's Born this Way and thought that could be a fun choice or annoying depending on the mood.

 

QOTD #2: I go back and forth between being paitent and wanting to lose it. The other day I snapped at the dog and felt bad. DS was throwing a fit, would not get dressed, I was alone with him, I was hot and the dog would not stop following right behind me so I kept tripping over her and I finally just said through clenched teeth "STOP FOLLOWING ME!!!!" Poor doggie.


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#30 of 57 Old 07-27-2011, 09:30 AM
 
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QOTD#2: Oh my goodness, yes...it's just bizarre how quickly my mood changes these days. I went to a yoga class last night and was feeling just dandy, then got home and totally ripped into DH...I did have a reason, but my response was totally disproportionate to the offense and was just inappropriate. I feel terrible, especially since he just dislocated his shoulder AGAIN (although honestly, I think that's part of the reason I was annoyed...his shoulder pops out at the drop of a hat, and yet he insists in engaging in activities that are almost guaranteed to cause another dislocation).

 

Cold weather: with DSS we mostly just used warm sweaters and sweats (with babylegs and warm booties), and tucked blankets around him when in the carseat. If we were out walking I'd usually just put him in the moby and zip my coat up over both us, which kept him nice and snuggly warm. My sister makes these awesome hooded fleece baby sack things (sort of carrot shaped with arms)  that she customizes to work with carseats so you don't have to juggle blankets and baby every time you're strapping them in or taking them out...I'm planning on asking her very nicely if she'll make one for this baby orngbiggrin.gif

 

Pi, thanks for the reassurance about going back to work and pumping...I've been nervous about it but it does seem like two months should be plenty of time to get everything working smoothly. Now I just have to decide on a pump...eek! 


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