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#1 of 18 Old 08-03-2011, 12:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have a slight dilema. I don't know WHERE I want to have this baby. I know I want to have her at home...but I can't visualize where in the house that I actually want it to be.

Our bedroom is really small, and there isn't a lot of room to move around, let alone to have my midwife, her assistant, my husband and my mother in the same room! (My mom was present at the birth of my first two, so it would feel weird to eliminate her. She's kind of like my doula:)

And to make matters worse, we have a king sized bed in our bitty room, that has just about zero space on the sides of the bed. The only real space is at the end of the bed...and that's only about 4 feet from our dressers!

 

The thought of giving birth in my bedroom makes me panicky. It feels closed in, and I might feel claustrophobic. (sp?)

And all of our bedrooms are on the smaller side, so I can't really use one of the kids rooms either.

 

I'm thinking my living room/dining room (it's kind of one long room with only a slight wall on the sides as partition)-and here's why.

 

A: There's a TON of space for people to move around

 

B: there are actually pocket doors built in, for privacy. I can literally close the living room and dining room door and create a private environment.

 

C: It's on the main floor, right next to the kitchen, and main floor bathroom.

 

D: there are a lot of other living spaces in the house for my other two children to be if they're home. (hopefully not.) We have a rec room in the basement, and a breakfast nook that they hang out in and play games.

 

E: there's room for a birthing pool, If I decide to go that route. Based on previous births, there won't be time to fill it. But a girl can dream, right?

 

F: I'll want to be downstairs after the baby is born anyway, not alone, by myself in my bedroom. I like to be around family right after.

 

G: I won't have to worry about my baskets of folded laundry in our bedroom getting in the way. (we don't have enough dresser/closet space, so we've always got folded laundry in baskets :(

 

The only CON I can think of in all of this, is that there is no BED in the living room!! I have a couch, a nice long one, but it's not a bed (and it's not terribly deep.). I don't know what position i'll be giving birth in until the time comes. Whatever is most comfortable at the time, I'm sure. I thought about putting an air mattress on the floor, but I don't like the idea of having to get up off of the floor either during, or after labour. That sounds like a lot of work... 

 

Any ideas on how to make this work? Where would you do it? Has anyone had their baby in their living room?

 


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#2 of 18 Old 08-03-2011, 01:45 PM
 
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I planned on having my last baby in my living room in the pool and wound up having him in bed in my (fairly small) bedroom.

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#3 of 18 Old 08-03-2011, 02:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ha, see that's what i'm afraid of. I feel slightly as though I need to be somewhat prepared to have the baby anywhere in the house. How did that come about, exactly? Just more comfortable at the time?

 

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Originally Posted by Shonahsmom View Post

I planned on having my last baby in my living room in the pool and wound up having him in bed in my (fairly small) bedroom.



 


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#4 of 18 Old 08-03-2011, 03:03 PM
 
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How nice to have your mom there.  It was just the doula, my husband and I.  Then the midwife came for pushing.  We lived in a small apartment.  My husband set up the pool in the living room but my labor went so quickly that I got in the shower for some relief and hopped in the pool when it was filled enough to give me some buoyancy.  DD was born in the pool in the living room.  But that was where I imagined it happening.  If you can picture it happening in the living room or dining room, then go for it.   :)

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#5 of 18 Old 08-03-2011, 03:13 PM
 
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I haven't had a home birth yet, but I'm training to be a HB midwife and planning our own home birth... 

 

First, are you open to giving birth squatting or sitting on a birth stool?  No reason you actually NEED a bed to birth anyway!

 

Also, in my training we constantly heard stories from our midwife instructors about where in the home women give birth.  Ironically, they found that many women somehow unconciously gravitate towards spaces that are cozy and they feel comfortable in, but are really small, awkward, and not particularly comfortable.  For instance, one woman gave birth in the corner between her grand piano and the wall, partially underneath the piano.  Also common was on the floor of the bathroom, wedged between sinks, toilets, and tubs.  I know this isn't all that helpful, but I would prepare your house as if you were planning to give birth in any of the rooms.  My understanding is that your instinct will kick in and guide you to where you want to be when you start feeling pushy. 

 

Sorry this isn't very helpful, but I'm really curious reading what the other HB'ers reply!


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#6 of 18 Old 08-03-2011, 03:44 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by corrabelle View Post



Ha, see that's what i'm afraid of. I feel slightly as though I need to be somewhat prepared to have the baby anywhere in the house. How did that come about, exactly? Just more comfortable at the time?

 



 



Yeah, I wound up really gravitating toward my bedroom for most of the labor. I think I went out to my living room twice and never wound up using the tub.

 

It was not a problem having everyone in the bedroom, space wise. I was on hands and knees at the head of the bed, DH was sitting next to me and the midwife and her assistant were sitting on the bed at the foot of the bed.

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#7 of 18 Old 08-03-2011, 04:02 PM
 
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My homebirth ended up in my bedroom - but it was a nice, large bedroom with lots of space, the most comfortable place in my house for me, and also had an attached bathroom.  For the birth I knelt against the end of my bed.  Sort of the smallest area of my bedroom, but still room on either side for attendants. 

I'm conflicted about where to go this time, myself.  My bedroom is MUCH smaller this time around, and the room would definitely feel crowded with 4 people (me, hubby, mw, assistant) crammed in there.  There's no good space to kneel down and still be accessible, like my last bedroom.  But the only other realistic option is my living room, which doesn't feel private enough to me (and also, like you said, doesn't have a bed!!!).  Especially if I end up having my kids there (and someone to watch them).  If I have to go to the bathroom, I have to walk down the carpeted hall past every other room in the house.  I'm private enough that I don't enjoy that thought.  I'm sure I'd be fine in a kneeling/squatting/upright position in my living room, but all the time before that makes me squirmy to think about.

 

Then again, I'd definitely have room to pace in my living room, and definitely wouldn't have that in my bedroom. 


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#8 of 18 Old 08-03-2011, 04:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Amy, that's actually quite helpful! First of all, i'm VERY open to squatting etc. My first two were delivered while I was on my knees, leaning over an ab-ball. I don't really feel I need a bed to birth in, more just for after the baby is born, somewhere to lie down comfortably with the baby. I think the couch will be ok, really. For a while anyway!

 

Presently, my bedroom isn't one of those secure, comfortable places, to me. I go in there to sleep, that's about it. We've only been in this house for a little while though, and have spent little time in there. We've spent so much time working/fixing up the rest of the house, the kids' room, the baby's room... it kind of got the back burner.

 I could sooner see giving birth in our mainfloor BATHROOM than my bedroom.lol

I would like to do some things though to make the bedroom more organized, and make it feel a little safer, and comfortable. The thought of co sleeping in that room makes me shiver. (I'm in the process of moving all of my clothes to another closet in the house just to make more room for my husbands clothes, which are in piles on the floor. ) I think our bedroom is my least favorite room in the house!

There are a lot of things that we'll be doing in the future to make it more livable...i'm just not sure that it will happen before the baby is born. (crossing fingers!) 


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#9 of 18 Old 08-03-2011, 06:48 PM
 
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I had planned on having my last baby in the living room/dining room area.  At least that is where we had plans to set up the birth pool.  My labor was so fast that most of the time I was in labor was spent in the living room on a birth ball and the computer. I then moved into my bathroom, which is pretty small.  Things moved so fast that the pool wasn't full and I ended up having him on the bathroom floor.  We then moved into the bedroom and bed after about 20 minutes of resting in the bathroom.

 

The plan for this birth is about the same with the pool to be in the living/dining area again and hopefully I'll make it there this time.  LOL Our bedroom is quite small and there would be no room for a pool.  I really don't want to be in the bathroom again.  

 

I don't see why you couldn't give birth in the area you are most comfy with and then moving to the bed.  I actually didn't stay in the bed for very long, I wanted to be out in the living room with everyone else eating pizza.  We just moved all the chux pads and made a little nest on the sofa.   

 

I'm not sure you need to have everything lined up and figured out. Part of the advantage to giving birth at home is that you can do whatever you want and change your mind if it doesn't feel right.    

 

 

 

 

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#10 of 18 Old 08-03-2011, 07:26 PM
 
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We set up our borthing pool in the dining room and pushed the tablet and chairs against the wall.  Worked really well for us.


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#11 of 18 Old 08-03-2011, 07:39 PM
 
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Last time, I gave birth on the floor between our bed & dresser! The baby before that was born in our old house between the bed and dresser...but that time I was standing/half-squatting. 


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#12 of 18 Old 08-03-2011, 08:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Gals! I feel a lot better about not having a definite plan with this. I know that my midwife will want to come for a home visit before too long, so that they can see what sort of space we have. I'd like to at least be able to tell her that i've thought about it.lol

 

I'm still not entirely sure that i'll get a home birth, our midwives won't do breech births at home...and right now my baby is sitting straight up! I'm crossing my fingers that she flips though. I *really* hate hospitals, and i have *really* quick births. If I do have to go to a hospital, (If I make it there in time!)I want out of there within the hour! Seriously (0_0)


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#13 of 18 Old 08-03-2011, 09:59 PM
 
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We had our birth pool set up in our kitchen because it had the most space but I ended up having him in our itty bitty once porch bedroom! It was my husband, mom and midwife and we made it work! But If you are not comfortable there I am sure you can do it wherever! I loved the pool but was not effective pushing there. I was prepared for the option of birthing on the bed and in the end that is what worked best. This time we are in a new big house so I am putting the birth pool right in our bedroom and we will see! I am just hoping I don't end up downstairs when the going gets tough because it is a long haul to a comfy place.


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#14 of 18 Old 08-04-2011, 07:36 AM
 
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We have set up the tub several places:

ds1 I labored in the tub in the living room... had to transfer so ended up at the hospital with him.(almost had him on the toilet though, would have if he hadn't been stuck)

ds 2 we had just added a sunroom onto the home for an office and before we put furniture in there we put the tub in there and I had him there. It was a very very fast labor and I barely made it into the tub (just kept my butt down bcs there wasn't much water but it worked). Went strait from the toilet to tub so almost had him on the toilet too.

ds3 we set up the tub in the kitchen (the only place left with space) and I had him there and there was plenty of space. the kids just went to the back bedrooms when I need a break.

dd1 had her in the kitchen in the tub as well but barely made it from the toilet into the tub:)

ds4 I was induced with him at 17 weeks as he had passed. I had run a bath but didn't make it. Had him on the toilet.

dd2 plan on having her in the tub in the kitchen.... seems to work great BUT i will also keep my bathroom very clean :).

 

We obviously do not have a sleeping/lyeing place in the  kitchen. After the birth I hang in the tub a bit and then head back to my bedroom where I stay for about 3 days. Sounds like you don't want to be in your bedroom. I would set up a futon mattress or something where you can camp out. the couch will probably work but I like lots of space for my drinks and snacks, the baby, all of hte baby supplies, etc. I really don't move for several days except to pee:) (started that with ds 3 and absolutely love taking the time with the baby, getting to know them, and letting my body heal.


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#15 of 18 Old 08-04-2011, 07:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Nicole, It sounds like the toilet is a good place to labour! I've never been given that opportunity, but heck, it makes sense!

I guess you're right...i don't want to be in my room. I'm trying to make it a place that I DO want to be, but right now, it feels secluded and depressing. Who knows, maybe after the baby is born i'll want to be alone in my room with the baby.

I kind of like to be around the rest of my family though. (I'm one of those people who doesn't even like to nap, I feel like i'm missing out on life. I can hear my kids and hubby downstairs and I miss them.) I DO want to be comfortable though.

Maybe i'll have the baby downstairs, migrate upstairs to the bedroom a while later, and make them all come up there with me.haha


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#16 of 18 Old 08-04-2011, 08:26 AM
 
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The toilet is the best position when you get to the point that you are in hard labor.  My last 2 would have been born there had I not gotten off right before I started pushing.  

 

Sounds like you want to be with your family.  There is no reason why you can't have 2 places set up for you to go to.  My bedroom is really boring and I don't know what I would even do in there if I made that my permanent resting spot.  The sofa it will be for me.  

 

good luck!  

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If your family is anything like mine I will assure you that u won't spend much time alone PLUS you will have the baby with u.
There are 2 issues here: where will u birth and where will u baby moon/ recover? They absolutely don't have to b the same place. I like my room bcs then I can't see how messy the rat of the house is and that works for me. I hav my cell phone, a lap top or I pad, a book, water and snacks all right by me. Then I hav everything baby will need also. I wish I had taken that time with the first 2 but just didn't realize how special it was until I had to be in bed for several days due to hemorrhaging after a 12 wk m/c having to lay around wout my baby made me see how special that time was. I gave it a shot w my next kiddo and loved it.
Decide where u want the tub. Everything else can b decided as things progress.

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#18 of 18 Old 08-04-2011, 02:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Nicole. I feel calmer about it now. (I don't know why I get so panicky about thinking about these things.) I hate the helpless feeling, the feeling of loss of control in the most sensitive, most important situation i'll ever encounter. Birth should be so sacred.
 

With my first son, I did get a bit of a babymoon-but it was in the hospital and I had a lot of visitors show up, which made things a little tricky. And I don't know if the nurses were BORED, or if they just loved their job, but they wouldn't leave us alone. They'd come in every half hour (even in the middle of the night) to either take my temperature (I was fine...), or check my "bum"  or any excuse they could find. I eventually had to tell them "NO-please leave me alone".

 

With my second son, about an hour after the birth (the midwife had to leave because she had to go to another birth), a nurse wanted to take him for a "quick observation" because he had some fluid on his lungs. (he was born really fast, apparently fluid is really common with quickly delivered babies.) I couldn't argue because some other nurse was giving me a shot of something or other (rhogam probably).
 

She had a student nurse hook him up to a C-PAP machine, and she accidently turned it on to the wrong setting and blew a hole in my sweet baby's lung. So I got to spend a month and a half with my son in NICU for an injury that he wasn't even born with. No babymoon there. By the time we got home, I was a total zombie, because I had to stay in the waiting room the entire time. They checked me out two days after he was born, and (because I technically live in the same city), they wouldn't give me a room to stay with him. After what had already happend though, there was no way in heck I was going to leave his side.

 

I just remember the total lonliness, and the feeling of helplessness I had because no one would tell me what was actually wrong with my child (they waited 2 weeks to tell me what had actually happened.). My mom couldn't be there much with me, because she was taking care of my other child. The hospital staff were cold, it made them mad that I wouldn't just go home.

 

With my third (last summer) I didn't know I was pregnant, but was bleeding so badly that I knew it couldn't be a period and went to the hospital, and got to have the pleasure of miscarrying on a chair in the waiting room for 36 hours before a doctor even saw me-(and loudly proclaimed "haha, how could you have not known that you were pregnant??" in front of the rest of the waiting room) and then spent the next 3 weeks alone on bed rest, feeling so sad and so guilting for not knowing, and mourning a child that I didn't even know I had-kicking myself for not appreciating the baby while I had it. (The kids were gone for the first week and a half with my parents camping, Thank goodness.)
 

I don't know if it's because of these experiences, that I get panicky. I just feel so "messed with" already. I don't want to feel alone, but I don't want people touching me either, or whisking my baby off for any tests than really CAN wait.

I told my mom and sister recently that i'd rather give birth in a cardboard box under the stairs like a cat than have to go to a hospital again. No wonder animals do that.

All I know is that I just need calm, low key, low intervention, and my family around afterwards.

 

Sorry for the long winded story. Apparently I'm more bothered by all this than I thought I was.

 

 

 

 

 


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