I've been a little stressed out lately every time I visit the doctor. The practice I go to has two midwives and 6 OB/GYNs. I've been seeing one of the midwives for years just for regular visits and when I got pregnant she let us know that she no longer delivers. She didn't really give us a reason why, but I was very disappointed since I've known her for a long time and I had a great rapport.
She explained that the way the practice works, it would be either 1 of the 6 OB/GYNs or the other MW depending on when I go into labor. I continued to see her up until about 20 weeks when she recommended I meet the other MW (since I wanted completely natural birth) but when we met her, I really didn't like her. The new MW was very flighty and we found out in that visit she was the one who had called us at 12 weeks with some frightening test results saying our baby could have a genetic disorder. She was recommending we get a CVS and amnio and really scared us. I opted out of any invasive testing and just said I would do ultrasounds to make sure the growth was ok and after the next blood work was done 4 wks later, everything turned out to be perfectly fine. Needless to say after that ordeal and meeting her in person at 20 wks to find her incompetent I chose not to continue seeing her and meet the other OB/GYNs.
I was really disappointed after that visit since I really wanted a MW but I didn't know if I should leave the practice all together and try and find someone else or what. After talking about it with my DH, we decided we'd stay with the practice and meet the other OB/GYNs.
Since then at every visit, I meet a different OB/GYN. Overall they've been just ok, one of them was awesome, really listened to me and took her time. The others always seem like they're just reading a standard script for an "average" woman and not really paying attention to me specifically. One thing that really started to annoy me with the bad MW and two of the OB/GYNs I've seen is that they're so fixated on my weight gain. Basically telling me I'm gaining too much (I'm 5'7" started at 164lbs I've gained 31 pounds total).
The original MW I saw told me at my 8 wk visit I should gain between 25-35 pounds. So since I'm on track to gain that plus maybe a bit more it's always confusing to hear this at the visits.
At my visit last week, we had an US and the tech told us our baby was estimated to be about 4 lbs 11oz right now, on track to be about 8.5 lbs. This wasn't surprising to my DH or me since I was 8 lbs 13 ozs and he was 9 lbs 11 ozs when born. We always expected we'd have a larger baby. When we went in to see the OB/GYN she made a comment that the baby was actually measuring in at 33-34 wks and was probably due to my "excessive" weight gain. I didn't say anything and she then went into this whole lecture about making sure I cut back on carbs and be careful about fruit, etc. But then she says, "I don't want you to worry about it too much, like don't become anorexic or anything. I mean you look great and it's partly due to genetics" This seems to be the trend - tell me how I've gained too much weight based on the numbers and then tell me not to worry about it since I look great.
Keep in mind that I have been very healthy throughout the entire pregnancy. I walk a lot, played softball up until about 24 wks, have a lot of energy and feel great. I eat healthy and drink tons of water. I haven't had back pain, swelling, or any other symptoms that would make me feel that my weight gain has adversely affected me or the baby. I also feel really good about my body and I love my belly. I don't feel overweight or depressed about my weight gain. But since that last visit, I've been thinking about how I really don't want to hear anything else about my weight unless it's actually going to be a real problem.
So I don't really know what to do. I have three more OB/GYNs to meet before I've met them all and then I go back to my original MW for the last three visits. Should I start every appt out with "I don't want to hear about my weight unless there's a specific problem with me personally" or should I try to seek out another MW that might not put so much emphasis on the weight gain or is it too late?
Apologies for the novel, but I thought it best you have a good view of what I'm looking at. Any suggestions?
FWIW, I switched practices at 32 weeks with my DS. I was just increasingly uncomfortable in the previous practice, and made the switch. You can do it. The weight comments would bother me, as well.
Making a March 9th sandwich with a Halloween filling.
I switched at about that point - maybe it was 30 weeks? - my reason was due to the fact that the supposedly VBAC friendly practice was far more intervention and scare-tactic happy than I was comfortable with.
The weight comments would bother me as well - not to mention US measurements can be off by quite a bit - at the end by as much as 4 lbs! - so I wouldn't put too much stock in them. If baby and you are otherwise fine, your weight gain or lack of it, shouldn't be a concern. FWIW I started my 1st pregnancy significantly more than you and gained 25 lbs. - lost it all with in 6 months PP too - this time I've only gained 5-8 lbs. Yet I think both babies will weigh similiarly. How much or little you gain just varies a lot from woman to woman, and the "recommendations" change over time too.
If you are really uncomfortable with the providers and know of a practice (can the MW you like recommend one?) that you think will be a better fit, I would totally switch.
Katrina - Mama to Gabriel 11/20/2009 and Norah 10/11/2011 and Theo03/11/2013- married to Wayne -
It's so important to be with a care provider you trust. Even then, as we all know, there are so many unknowns. So, at least to start with trust and peace is really a must in my book.
For what it's worth, in my first pregnancy I switched at 37 weeks.
Sounds like you'd feel better with a smaller or perhaps even solo practice, so you'll know who you're getting? Good luck, it can definitely be done.