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#151 of 178 Old 10-01-2011, 06:54 AM
 
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Ack!  So many babies and such great (and generally very short!) stories.   My due date was October 1 and I feel like I''m going to be incredibly late to this party!

 

Big sympathy and empathy to all those with DP issues of all sorts-- me too.  It's even infecting my dreams, and I'm really worried about postpartum.  I've had the talk with DH 6 different ways about how much support I will need and how I will not be able to do it without him and how rejected I'll feel if he's not emotionally present and helping (unfortunately one of the chinks my emotional armor, have to just accept it).  He SAYS he gets it....we'll see.  Evidence to the contrary so far.  BUT when I woke up sobbing at 2 AM because in my dreams he asked me to re screen print an entire set of sheets for his girlfriend and I said, "I should be your only girlfriend." and he (the dream DH) replied, "Oh?",  he (the real life DH) did not laugh and did decide not to drive two hours this morning to play basketball with his friends.  Progress?  Maybe?

 

All in all: It's been an emotional 24 hours.  Physically I'm just totally uncomfortable and my midwife thinks baby isn't anywhere close, emotionally I'm a whackadoo, I have 18 million thank you cards to write, and while I want to have couple happy fun time today, I can't remember what we do for fun.  (After the DtD conversation earlier this week, and my subsequent attempts at same, that's off the table.)  What DO people do for fun when they're this pregnant? 

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#152 of 178 Old 10-01-2011, 06:56 AM
 
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Originally Posted by puente View Post What DO people do for fun when they're this pregnant? 


Go to a matinee!


dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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#153 of 178 Old 10-01-2011, 07:26 AM
 
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Puente, thanks for reminding me about the thank yous. Ugh. That's a crazy dream you had. I'm glad your dh stayed home. My dh really didn't get it when ds was born and didn't really make an effort to bond with ds for a long time (now they are t-i-t-e). It was soooo hard on me, made me never want another baby to go through that again. He'd complain that we were too loud at night, too, and go into work and get all kinds of sympathy for being "up all night with DS" when in truth, he never once even changed a diaper in the night, let alone get up with him ever. I'd hear these stories from his colleagues and boil over. I'm pretty sure things will be different this time, but I do anticipate some hard times as well. He has paternity leave this time for a week and then another week of half days and that certainly was not the case before. Good luck to you.


Rosemary, married  mama to Pascal 3/08 and expecting #2 on Halloween.
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#154 of 178 Old 10-01-2011, 08:10 AM
 
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Puente, thanks for reminding me about the thank yous. Ugh. That's a crazy dream you had. I'm glad your dh stayed home. My dh really didn't get it when ds was born and didn't really make an effort to bond with ds for a long time (now they are t-i-t-e). It was soooo hard on me, made me never want another baby to go through that again. He'd complain that we were too loud at night, too, and go into work and get all kinds of sympathy for being "up all night with DS" when in truth, he never once even changed a diaper in the night, let alone get up with him ever. I'd hear these stories from his colleagues and boil over. I'm pretty sure things will be different this time, but I do anticipate some hard times as well. He has paternity leave this time for a week and then another week of half days and that certainly was not the case before. Good luck to you.


Ohhhhh, it made me SO MAD when he got sympathy for having a newborn/small baby....poor sleep deprived Daddy  blahblah.gif  

 

The worst?  After a long night of crying (screaming) baby and NO SLEEP, he would wake up, stretch and smile and say something like "aaahhhh, she was so quiet last night!  You must have gotten lots of sleep!"  No honey, actually you just slept through every scream, every diaper, every hour upon hour of your wife desperately trying to get her back to sleep....

 

Where's the smiley face wielding a knife and looking all stabby?  That's the one I need for that little story.  


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#155 of 178 Old 10-01-2011, 08:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Good morning ladies! I am amazed at how many babies we have here now. Wow!

 

And I'm pretty sure I'm the only one begging mine to stay in a couple more days lol.gif DS's birthday is in 2 days. I kinda held off on planning anything for him, not knowing when Sunburst would make his entrance (and not wanting to commit to something I can't do). However.... I committed now. I'm going to make this cake for ds for his birthday on Monday (with some Looney Tunes figures on it, because he's obsessed with Looney Tunes). Then ds decided he wanted these cupcakes for his class on Monday. Normally I would totally do everything from scratch..... but this time he's totally getting boxed cake mixes (which won't matter to him, because he doesn't even EAT cake.... he just thinks they look cool... lol). After reading one of the reviews on that cake and seeing it took someone 12 hours to make and put together.... I decided to start on it today dizzy.gif So I'm off to run to the store to get all the stuff I need!


Steph, DH Jason (1-1-11), DS Owen (10-3-03) and DS Kai (10-13-11)

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#156 of 178 Old 10-01-2011, 09:09 AM
 
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katico - dh & I went through a few rough years with his inability to clean or to even notice when things needed to be clean. It used to make me so angry. Now that mil lives with us she so often makes comments about his sloppiness & I so just want to smack her - ummmm, who raised him lady?! I hope it does go smoother for you this time.

livacreature - I think it would labouring sick that would be the hard part. You can totally bf while sick - you just need to make sure you are getting enough fluids.

shonahsmom - glad you got a good sleep. Hopefully that is a good omen.

starling - seriously, I've kind of excepted that I'm just going to feel like I"m in labour for the rest of my life. Oh the strange looks I've been getting from people when I randomly stop & hold my belly 'cause I've gotten a particularly hard contraction. It's a weird place to be. Are you finding your ab muscles are feeling fatigues & sore from it? I feel like I've done one heck of an ab workout.

puente - going to a movie is about all the fun I can handle at this stage!

rosemary - it is kind of crazy how much "credit" men get sometimes for doing the bare minimum.

steph - hope the cake turns out - so ambitious of you!

afm - well it is noon now so I figure if I go into labour any time after right now there is a good chance she won't come until tomorrow so I am feeling a little more relaxed now. We are bringing ds to a birthday party at an indoor play place this aft so that should kill a few hours. I feel like everything is just on hold right now. If my body refuses to go into real labour on it's own then Thursday can't come fast enough.

the house - oy. I swear every time I get it so it's almost acceptable for me I turn around & there is a new big mess somewhere. This is one of those times I slightly regret having so many pets (& a dh!)

Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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#157 of 178 Old 10-01-2011, 09:48 AM
 
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Spouses - Those of you having a rough time, you have my sympathies. hug2.gif  And I guess I'm feeling really lucky to have DH.  He stayed home the first 3 weeks after DS was born and is doing the same this time.  He's all into bonding with the newborn as much as he can.  He's done almost every single overnight diaper change for DS since DS was born...certainly every single one during the first 2 years.  And he generally cleans up after himself about as well as I do...which is to say, not 100%...but enough.  And he's not into video games.  But he is big into soccer, so I guess I'm lucky we don't have any kind of 24-7 soccer channel.  During the World Cup he actually takes off from work so he can watch daytime games in real time.

 

Prodromal Labor - Oh, ladies...I don't know how you're doing it.  This is one of my "fears" - weeks of "is-this-it-or-isn't-it" contractions.  I have three weeks till my EDD...braxton hicks just started this past week, but totally no big deal...not regular, not uncomfortable.

 

Puente - Movies are good...except, I guess, the sitting for 2+ hours.  That's actually what DH and I did the day before DS was born.  Movie ("Hancock"), followed by steaks on the grill, followed by s'mores.  I remain convinced that s'mores are labor-inducing.

 

Babies, Babies, Babies - Hoo boy!  Loving the stories....and also feeling like "Wait!  I'm not ready!"  I really want this baby to hold off until the EDD and not come early, mostly in terms of making sure we're all "ready."  Body-wise, I'm feeling pretty ready to get this baby out.

 

AFM - Went to yoga today because the regular instructor was supposed to be back...walked in and saw the sub was still there!  But I talked about my SPD concerns and no squatting, etc. and made sure to do a bunch of modifications...so hopefully my body won't be screaming at me tomorrow.

 

Just vacuumed our third floor, which is where my parents will be sleeping if they have to be here overnight with DS.  I know it's 3 weeks before my dure date and things will get messy again - especially cuz we're now keeping the cat up here every night - but I just had to do it.  Next on the agenda, clean the bathroom up here and totally clean out/wash the litter box.  When DS is napping I'm going to make two loaves of pumpkin bread to freeze. Finished putting up curtains in our room,  DH (with a little help from DS) started painting the baby's closet, and also the woodwork in the baby's room.  DS's new mattress should arrive by the middle of next week, so we'll be able to move his bed/crib into the baby's room within the week.

 

Oh, and yesterday kinda sucked...woke up to total ant invasion in the kitchen.  Ants on both kitchen counters.  Ants going into teh pantry.  Ants in the cereal cabinet.  Ants in the spice/baking cabinet.  Hello, ants...don't you know it's fall??  Go the f%$k away!  Ant invasions are one of those things that really make me go crazy.  I cleaned and killed for hours!  Very stressful and tiring.  On the plus side for yesterday, my sister and her hubby just got back from their month in India and she came over for a few hours.  Good to see her and fun to see part 1 of the many many wedding photos...although kinda hard to sit through sooooo many of them.


Teacher until birth of DS (7-27-08)blowkiss.gifand now DD (10-17-11)femalesling.GIF:, now SAHM, wife to my wonderful hard-working DH.   cd.gifnocirc.gifselectivevax.gif

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#158 of 178 Old 10-01-2011, 11:17 AM
 
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Steph: You are supermom with those cakes.  They are lovely.  Right now, I'd be doing good to stand in the kitchen for an hour, let alone take that long to assemble a cake!

 

Lots of baby vibes to Starling and Shonahs!

 

Movies: Is there anything good in the theaters?  I've been looking, but nothing has caught my eye.  

 

Not-telling: You have ambition.  Maybe I can get some of my laundry done...l

 

DH has been really nice the past few days.  He stayed home with me yesterday, went to my appointment, did some dog grooming, took me out for some coffee at my favorite little place in the neighborhood, and was very tolerant of me interrupting our Daria marathon because I NEEDED to take another bath (anyone else hate being dry?  I can't stand it.  I think I took five baths yesterday, I'm on two today).  Today he is making a low sugar strawberry pie and cleaning the kitchen.  He's really getting excited about baby.  At my appointment, we all decided that Tuesday we will settle on a date that I won't be going past due to diabetes/fairly mild bp issues/anemia.  He's stoked about that.  We've been playing with the contraction timer on his phone.  About 12 minutes apart for the past 24 hours.  It is at least fun that he is excited and wants to be involved.  I did melt down on him because his parents have learned how to use the facetime app on their Ipod and decided to use it last night.  It just makes me feel like they are barging into my house with cameras.  I absolutely hate it.  It didn't help that he answered it (yep, camera rolling) when I'm laying a foot away from him in my underwear after my fifth bath of the day, with crazy hair, and a fever.  I managed to wiggle out of the room unnoticed, but didn't like the feeling of being ousted from my bedroom!  He's taking at least two weeks off when the baby is born, I'm glad.  My mom bought us a bassinet to put in the bedroom, he's excited because we were going to use the pack and play which will only fit on my side.  Now we can switch.  He would like to cosleep, but agrees I'm way to much of an active, deep sleeper.  It isn't unusual for me to wake up on the floor.  Doesn't seem like the safest thing for us!


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#159 of 178 Old 10-01-2011, 04:42 PM
 
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not_telling - we used to live in a house that always seemed to have ants. I could keep the kitchen spotless clean for weeks & if one crumb was left on the counter when you came back it was swarmed with ants. Totally yuck. BUT we did find that the little plastic ant traps from Raid worked quite well. If I thought we no longer had ants & threw them out the ants would show up again. Totally yucky.

livacreature - I am thankful daily that we are on a well & don't have to pay for water - I take SOOOOO many baths right now it's bordering on ridiculous. It's soothing when I'm having the prodromal labour contractions. Plus ds LOVES baths so when I'm too tired to do anything special with him we take a bath. We really liked our bassinet with ds & it's all set up in our room now for baby girl.

afm - took ds to a birthday party at an indoor play place today. Absolute, freakin' chaos. SOOOO not my thing. Plus ds is not brave enough yet to go into the climbers by himself so I had to haul my giant pregnant body through the climbers & down slides - yeah that was a sight! The drive home was hell as ds was SO wound up but at the same time out of sorts he just kept yelling & whining & fussing & of course contractions had started again. It was over an hour drive so kind of miserable for all of us.

My interesting fact of the day: it's cold out today so I needed to wear a jacket so I grabbed a trench coat from the closet. A trench coat that could BARELY button when I was at my heaviest figuring at least it would sort of fit now. Well, I was easily able to button it! Wow - I really didn't realize just how big I was!

Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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#160 of 178 Old 10-01-2011, 08:52 PM
 
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afm - took ds to a birthday party at an indoor play place today. Absolute, freakin' chaos. SOOOO not my thing. Plus ds is not brave enough yet to go into the climbers by himself so I had to haul my giant pregnant body through the climbers & down slides - yeah that was a sight! The drive home was hell as ds was SO wound up but at the same time out of sorts he just kept yelling & whining & fussing & of course contractions had started again. It was over an hour drive so kind of miserable for all of us.

 

You... are my hero. With all the hell you've been going through with the contractions and the issues along with that, I'm impressed enough that you went to the party. And then... you did the climbers?!?!?! I don't know if you're crazy or incredibly tough or both. Wow. Just wow.

 

AFM: DH got a full time job! He works at Best Buy as security, and he just got offered a position with full time hours in the appliances department. We've been looking for this for a while now, especially since that will get him benefits pretty quickly. Such a blessing.


Mom to Eli babyboy.gif 10/18/11 and loving wife to Derrin. heartbeat.gif 

Proud to be "that" girl--the crazy bedsharing, sling-wearing, breastfeeding mama everyone

thinks is crazy!

 

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#161 of 178 Old 10-01-2011, 08:56 PM
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lifeguard, those play places are very popular for birthdays starting in kindergarten here. They are total chaos. I cannot imagine doing the same kind of party a) with kids two years younger and b) while this pregnant. You are amazing for having gotten through it.

 

prodromal labour: Huge hugs to all those dealing with it.


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#162 of 178 Old 10-01-2011, 09:25 PM
 
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Seriously lifeguard, you're amazing.

 

Trinket, Awesome News!

 

 

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#163 of 178 Old 10-01-2011, 10:49 PM
 
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Thanks! I was thinking it was a good way to get out of the house for several hours, but yeah, totally regretted it.

Trinket - that's fabulous!!!

Please, please, please, let these contractions be the real thing! PLEASE!

Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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#164 of 178 Old 10-02-2011, 05:19 AM
 
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lifeguard: DD would have been totally out of luck - no WAY I would have climbed/done slides....  bow.gif

 

Nicolian:  I had dreams all night about hanging out with you, sewing, and you had your baby already!

 

I think I'm about to come down with a cold.  Ugh.


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#165 of 178 Old 10-02-2011, 06:18 AM
 
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lifeguard you are a rockstar

katico I just gotover a cold andnowI fearI'mcomingdownwith ANOTHER one! Hopefully it's allergies?

Trinket yay for a new job!

Steph your DS and my DSS share a birthday smile.gif

AFM I'm officially too big for my clothes. It's kind of a problem redface.gif
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#166 of 178 Old 10-02-2011, 06:23 AM
 
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Lifeguard: you went down a slide? I wish I could have seen it.

Pi: How are you and the baby doing? I'm so glad to see you will keep on checking this board.

 

AFM: We're part of a "Backyard Growers Association"--a fancy name for people in our neighborhood and surrounding neighborhoods who grow organic veggies in our backyards. Today is our annual potluck, and I'm excited because there are such cool people that participate in the program. It's a blue collar (for lack of a better term) area and people did not used to eat much in the way of any vegetables at all, so growing them is a real eye opener. The organizer is so cool, a really community minded person who's made a "farm" out of her entire city plot. My garden this year was mediocre, because I did not have ANY energy to be out in the sun doing anything at all, but I'm excited to hear about everyone else's success.

 

 


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#167 of 178 Old 10-02-2011, 06:57 AM
 
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dollyanna - I feel for you. I have stuff that fits but it's only summer ware & well, it's definitely NOT summer here any more.

rosemary - that sounds wonderful.

Up most of the night with the most painful contractions I've had up until now. Then ds woke up & wouldn't go back to sleep for several hours. Now it looks like he has a fever & I am no longer having contractions. Four sleeps (& I use the word jokingly) until the induction which feels like a million days away.

Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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#168 of 178 Old 10-02-2011, 01:58 PM
 
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I'm so sick of contracting.  I wish this child would get out of my ribs.  She has not dropped at all.

 

Lifeguard: Perhaps a slide is somehow going to trigger a smooth trip down the birth canal!  I hope you feel better with the contractions.  ANd that your DS sleeps.  For real.

 

Rosemary: That sounds so nifty.  I'm looking forward to planting veg next year.  We moved midseason this year so I didn't get much of a yield.

 

Trinket: YAY!  Congratulations to you and your husband!

 

I'm already feeling encroached on by family.  DH's parents are wanting to come up after she is born.  The initial agreement was the weekend after we're out of the hospital.  Now his mom is taking off the week of the 10th (the 10th was my initial due date, dating ultrasound then put it the 17th, I think it is likely somehwere in between) and asking how long I'll be at the hospital.  I don't know.  Kind of depends how things go.  Or if I deliver by then.  I know they want to see the baby, but I don't know.  I was fine with them coming the weekend after so I could have a few days at home before hand to get my barrings, but now I feel like they are going to be here RIGHT AWAY.  My mom is coming the 19th for a week, which is a bit sooner than I thought, but at least there is sometime.  And she is my mother.  I just don't want to field visitors right away.  I'm a (at times ridiculously) private person, I am also a person who isolates to get used to big changes.  Once I'm used to something, I'm fine, but I hate being around people while I am just fielding something.  I am not someone who likes advice, I like to just dive in and do it.  I don't want people trying to help me in the first few days.  I need to know I can do this.  I just don't get why people ask what would work best for me if they are just going to change it up at the last minute.  And now I feel like I'm having to deliver on a schedule.  And like I hold DH, what if I'm in the hospital a bit longer recovering or need to stay longer to get re-regulated on the blood sugar front?  What if baby needs to stay longer for blood sugar issues?  Under no circumstances will I be fielding ANY visitor in the hospital.  I kind of feel like the baby is being seen as like a source of entertainment or something, and I am being pressured to bring it.  I'm sure a lot of it is normal pre-baby anxiety, coupled with in-laws visiting ALWAYS being a stressful experiences, and me needing to feel in control.  I accept that I don't have a ton of control when it comes to the delivery, but can't I at least control who comes into my house?  Plus, MIL has serious boundary issues.  And she is completely camera happy.  One of her biggest joys is taking unflattering pictures of people and fussing over how cute they are.  I will break it, dammit.  Both inlaws are very much into telling people how they feel, and I can't stand that.  They are completely hallmark card sentimentalists, I'm very guarded emotionally and don't like hearing them try to "get at me" (as they sometimes put it).  They are also horribly untactful (when visiting the hospital when my father was clearly dying, my FIL asked several times about his life insurance.  At my father's funeral, he pulled me aside to tell me that even though I was managing okay, it would only get worst as time passed.)  It is a very offensive/defensive relationship.  They also are not big into being helpful.  They don't cook, they act like they are elderly (both are in their early fifties, NOT ELDERLY) and relish in their "old age".  They also are very heavy packers.  Last time they visited for two days, one could not walk through my living room for all of their shit.  Seriously, when I have flown home, I have never taken more than a carry-on which includes back up medical supplies.  We aren't in the middle of nowhere, be reasonable, and please, don't pack your own cleaning supplies.  It is rude.  So, DH is already trying to figure out ways to entertain them, trying to figure out what to feed them, etc.  They aren't dog people, and my dog rules the roost.  If they say anything negative about my girl, they will get hit.  I'm trying really hard to be nice and pleasant.  She is their first, likely only grandchild and they live eight hours away.  I just don't like the shift in plans.  I feel like if I fight it too hard, I'm just going to come across as a bitch, because MIL has the time off and her company has an ass backwards vacation policy.  But I am also way overwhelmed by it.  I'm also worried that I will just be so tired when they get here (looking like we're talking induction or csection right now) that I will come across mean either way.  DH already had to explain to them recovery time (MIL swears labor doesn't hurt, never had morning sickness, (always with a snide implication that she didn't have those because she just loved her son that much) and FIL adopted DH when he was 12 and is clueless with babies.  His biggest, consistent declaration is the oh-so-mature 'I'm not changing diapers!'  Um, fine, I never asked you to.  Again, intensely private person, I'm not really comfortable with the whole family changing my daughter.) and that I will need lots of privacy for feeding.  I'm thinking maybe I'm focusing my stress on them coming so not to focus on labor nerves.  That makes sense right?  


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#169 of 178 Old 10-02-2011, 02:37 PM
 
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Oh livacreature I am so so sorry. You are right, in every way.  You should get some time to figure this out, you shouldn't have to do any of this "in public". I would feel exactly like you do.  Their stuff would drive me crazy, saying anything about my dog would push me over the edge, anything someone says indicating that I am whining or not doing my best would make my head blow up, I hope that your DH can play defense in a hard core way, and I hope you have a lock on your bedroom door.  They shouldn't come so soon, not at all.  Crappy, crappy, crappy.

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#170 of 178 Old 10-02-2011, 03:10 PM
 
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NAK

 

I've been reading along and feeling like I want to join the conversations, but it's hard to do when I'm laying down all the time now!  My thoughts are with you all right now, though..  I check in several times a day, even if I don't post anything.

 

Malcolm is 3 days old now!  My milk came in yesterday, and the boobies are rock hard at this point.  Yesterday was hard on him, figuring out how to latch with that change.  We've got it down today, though.  He's doing great.  We had our first diaper blowout this morning -- alllll over my bed.  I blame DH.  He changed Mal's diaper in the middle of the night, and didn't pull it up in back high enough.  I had no clue he was poopy until suddenly he had yellow moist stuff all over his sleeve mitten thing, and by then it was soaked through our sheets onto our mattress.  Ooops.  DH got it cleaned up nicely, and now we're back to using our mattress protector and a receiving blanket under Malcolm, just in case.

 

Midwife came by to check on us again today.  Malcolm has O+ blood, like all my other kids, so I had to get the rhogam shot today.  Luckily it's never bothered me all that much, but it still makes me grumpy, especially since it costs me another $150.  Also did Malcolm's PKU heel poke.  He slept right through it, yay!  He's back up to his birth weight today, which makes me very happy.

 

Grandma took my other kids for a sleepover last night.  I was exhausted by 9pm, but I couldn't fall asleep for a good couple hours because of 1) being too warm, 2) being engorged, and 3) painful hemorrhoids.   Thankfully, we had our best night yet - only waking up to nurse and staying quiet, until 6am when he had a huuuuge burp, but once we got that out he headed right back to sleep.  Then not another peep until 9:40, which was so lovely!  I needed that sleep.

 

I've had SIL and MIL taking care of me the last couple days while DH had to work, but he's off his shift now until Thursday, and it's nice to have him home.  :) :)


SAHM to Melinda (Oct '03), Jacob (Aug '05),  Alex (Apr '08), and baby.gif Malcolm (Sept 29, '11)

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#171 of 178 Old 10-02-2011, 03:46 PM
 
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livacreature - that does sound awkward - I hope you get through it without too much stress.

leiahs - OH I cannot wait to be able to write NAK again!!! Sounds like things are going pretty well, this stage is so short.

Yep - ds is sick. Has had a fever all day & is totally lethargic. Nice 'cause I was able to get him to nap & have a nap myself but otherwise totally sucky. Now I'm stuck feeling like I'm screwed either way. He's sick & is best with me so going into labour would be hard on all of us plus he wouldn't be allowed in the hospital to visit, but if I don't go into labour I continue in this prodromal labour hell. Darn I hate being stuck between a rock & a hard place! (Oh & I'm trying REALLY hard to ignore the fact that I may very well be the next one hit with whatever he's got!).

Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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#172 of 178 Old 10-02-2011, 05:51 PM
 
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livacreature - Can you (or your DH really) tell your in-laws it would work best if they wait to get the call that baby is born and then make arrangements to come visit based on whatever medical scenarios may arise?  Are they flying or driving?  I totally get where you're coming from....you sound a lot like me interms of being private, wanting to get acclimated to new things on your own, not wanting everyone's advice.  Does your DH understand where you're coming from?  How does he feel about their impending visit and staying on your space?

 

lifeguard - You really are between a rock and a hard place, aren't you?  I really hope your prodromal stuff ends sooner rather than later, but I can see how this does not feel like the ideal time for baby to arrive.  DS is congested yet again - gosh, I love preschool - and not drinking enough to ensure the snot flows.  I've been dousing his pillow at nap and bedtime with eucalyptus and peppermint oils (since I'm obsessed with essential oils this pregnancy).  He's taking vitamin D and a multi every day, but I think he really needs to be drinking more.

 

AFM - Just got back from being taken out to dinner by the other mommies in our playgroup.  So nice to be able to sit and eat and have uninterrupted conversation.  I had a spicy thai lemongrass soup (different than I was expecting...brothy instead of coconut milky and with buckwheat noodles in it) and crabcakes and carrot cake.  Now I need to go make DS's lunch for tomorrow and get ready for bed.  Would love to have a great sleep night tonight, but not counting on it...


Teacher until birth of DS (7-27-08)blowkiss.gifand now DD (10-17-11)femalesling.GIF:, now SAHM, wife to my wonderful hard-working DH.   cd.gifnocirc.gifselectivevax.gif

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#173 of 178 Old 10-02-2011, 06:33 PM
 
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Livacreature, I was nodding my head while reading your entire post since I can empathize well. When DS was born, my in-laws ignored our request to wait and they came right away and were horrible. I have resented it ever since; it's a time I will never get back, and I didn't want to share it with them or have it go as it went.greensad.gif If your DH doesn't know how you resent it already, he needs to know and help you put the lid on it. They shouldn't come for more than 2 or 3 days. They shouldn't stay with you. That's probably a tall order, but why grandparents feel that they need to put themselves first in these situations (first grandchild or not) is beyond me. It is very selfish unless they have been asked. Perhaps if your DH can't get on board with you, you could speak to your doctor or midwife and have them give you the medical advice (or even a script) for a quiet and uneventful few days initially, due to unforeseen and possible complications--maternal stress or some title like that. It is really important to not just vent about this but to actually enforce something. You're a free adult and awkwardness or not, you don't have to see anybody you can't handle right after the birth. They can't just come see the baby, it's going to be you and the baby and you're not going to want to let her go. You're absolutely right to be so anxious.

 


Rosemary, married  mama to Pascal 3/08 and expecting #2 on Halloween.
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#174 of 178 Old 10-02-2011, 07:50 PM
 
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livacreature: ACK! I'm sorry. That would bother me a lot, and I'm NOT a private person in general. My mom is coming right away for two weeks, but we have a relationship that makes that a good thing. I want her to and feel reassured by knowing she'll be here. My SIL told me that my MIL is very relieved that I don't expect her to come right away, which is funny, because I was very relieved that she didn't want to. I like her and she's helpful, but it would be more stressful for both of us for her to come too soon or for too long. I really think that you should do something about it, if you feel like you can at all. It's not reasonable for them to make assumptions and put themselves first - it should be about baby and parents needs first, then other family. Surely there is a way to make that clear, and to make it clear that their arrival BEFORE your new due date, with the assumption of meeting the baby, is not in anyone's best interest.

On a farm with our kiddo (nearly 2), two dogs, two cats, ten goats, two donkeys, nine sheep, a bunch of chickens, and a husband (in the winters). We have another on the way!
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#175 of 178 Old 10-02-2011, 07:53 PM
 
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livacreature - is it possible for them to stay at a hotel at least?

Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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#176 of 178 Old 10-03-2011, 05:11 AM
 
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Hotel all the way! That is what my ILs have to do when they visit. (we now live with my parents, but used to live across the country). Our "rule" was that if more than one person visits, its too much. This was helped by our smallish apartment and one bathroom, so not sure if you can get away with that. But you have to have DH just tell them that its too much.

 

It would be GREAT if he could insist that they stick to the first plan.

 

AND, you can always say to your MIL that she can take off whatenever she wants, but baby might not come until the end of the month (scare her with the farthest away date you can come up with- 2 weeks after that Oct 17 EDD? Even if you pretty much know that its not going to go that long).

 

 


dissertating mom to three

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#177 of 178 Old 10-03-2011, 06:57 AM
 
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I lobbied for a new smoke alarm for our downstairs hallway after DH dismantled ours in a fit of rage a few months back. It would go off all the time when I was cooking, and since cooking is what I do for a living, it was pretty bad. I researched and found one that people said wouldn't just go off if you are cooking, so I bought it and DH dutifully installed it. Um...it goes off if I boil water. I HATE this thing, with burning fiery passion. We need a smoke alarm obviously, but there's no door between our kitchen and our hallway, so...what am I supposed to do? I know this has nothing to do with babies, but I'm just feeling super crankypants this morning anyway. Blah.

 

On an up-note, someone is coming to buy my co-sleeper this morning! Hoorah! Thing was so completely useless for us, I'm glad someone else is taking it away.


Rosemary, married  mama to Pascal 3/08 and expecting #2 on Halloween.
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#178 of 178 Old 10-03-2011, 09:23 AM
 
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Rosemary - dh & I have had such incredibly bad luck with smoke alarms. Seriously, why do the batteries always die at 3 in the morning? I've ripped one from the ceiling & thrown it out in the snow. Ime they are not the best made item. Dh says he'd happily pay a LOT more for a smoke alarm that didn't go off unless there was actually a fire!

Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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