I need a pep talk.... nervous about labor and delivery. - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 8 Old 10-03-2011, 02:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've done it three times, I KNOW I can do it.  But I think I'm nervous... well, because I've done it three times!  So I know it's hard work, and it's not easy.  I've been spending time meditating, trying to face my fears and anxiety, and put my finger on what really scares me.  This will be my first home birth, so I have a bit of apprehension there, not really what could go wrong, but more because it's different than before and I'm not entirely sure what to expect.  Also, transition has always in the past been really hard for me emotionally.  Like I hit this wall, and I doubt myself, and I don't want to do it anymore, etc.  Also, I scream/yell/moan during transition and pushing and for some reason that's embarrassing to me.  I wish I could be one of those women who is silent and calm.

 

I know on the other side, I'll be snuggling this baby and I'd be willing to do it all over again, but here on this brink of giving birth in the next week or two I'm scared!

 

Reassure me!

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#2 of 8 Old 10-03-2011, 05:17 PM
 
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1.  Hitting the wall is good.  It means you're close to the end.  Coming to the end of yourself is good.  It's where all the growth we experience as moms happens.  If you are a spiritual person, coming to the end of yourself is where the help of whatever higher being you believe in begins.  

2.  Yelling and moaning is OK.  Labor is visceral.  I think the zen mamas who breathe their babies out are the exception rather than the rule.  

3.  You are strong, and you can do this.  

 

Hugs to you!


Loving wife to a wonderful and Godly man, hug.gif  and SAHM to two beautiful boys, DS1, natural hospital birth (2/2010) and DS2, beautiful homebirth (10/2011) cd.gifnursex2.gif

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#3 of 8 Old 10-03-2011, 08:31 PM
 
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I think that you will be surprised that you feel safer and less hindered birthing at home. You won't be interupted in the same capacity as at the hospital. It is your space you can send everyone away if you choose that is your choice so no want to feel embarrased by if you need to make tons of noise. Also you KNOW the wall means the end, remember that in labor, let it excite you instead of terrify you. "Oh this is it I am almost done".

You can do it mama!!!!!


nicole wild.gif,  mom to 3 boys here on earth jumpers.gif 9, 7 and 4.5 and 2 girl's fly-by-nursing2.gif2.5 and 10/16/11. Always remembering my babies in heaven:  Sam (9/7/05) at 12.5 wks  angel1.gif, Morgan (2/13/06) at 6 wks angel1.gif , Emeric angel2.gif (8/9/10 at 17 wks) and Pepper angel1.gif (11/26/10) at 8wks. 

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#4 of 8 Old 10-04-2011, 06:19 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PseudoDiva View Post

Coming to the end of yourself is good.  It's where all the growth we experience as moms happens.  If you are a spiritual person, coming to the end of yourself is where the help of whatever higher being you believe in begins.  

So beautifully put! Thank you, this is really helpful for me!


~Iris~ Catholic mama to DD1 11/15/05 * DD2 04/28/08 * brokenheart.gif06/23/2010 * and our little rainbow DS 10/07/11 love.gif
 

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#5 of 8 Old 10-04-2011, 08:21 AM
 
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You can do this, it is normal to doubt yourself...but remember your body knows how to do this just as it knew how to grow that beautiful baby inside of you.  Your contractions can not be stronger than you because they are part of YOU.  I had 3 hospital births before I had my 4th baby (who was breech too) at home with a midwife.  I was super nervous that I would have a problem handling transition but when you are home you are so much more relaxed and able to focus on your job which is to RELAX and listen to your body & baby that your labor & productive contractions happen much faster.  My labors in the hospital were all over 12+ hours but my labor at home was less than 4 hours start to finish.  When you are at home, relaxed, and unhindered and unmedicated.....your body knows just what to do and you can listen to what your body is telling you to do.....move around if need be, dance, sing, moan, eat, drink, sit in the tub, shower, take a walk....its all up to you & what your baby is telling you to do.  Listen & RELAX :-)


**married to my college sweetheart & mom to Nicholas (19), Ashley (12), Sebastian (4), & Lexi Grace (2)...Born at home & BREECH ;-).

“We have a secret in our culture, and it's not that birth is painful. It's that women are strong.” Laura Stavoe Harm

Women of earth, take back YOUR birth!
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#6 of 8 Old 10-08-2011, 03:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all for the kind words of support and encouragement.  Many of the things said really helped and I filed away mentally so I can reflect back on it during labor.  I especially loved these words:  "Your contractions can not be stronger than you because they are part of YOU."

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#7 of 8 Old 10-08-2011, 05:23 PM
 
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Quote:

Originally Posted by CeceStar View Post

 

 Also, I scream/yell/moan during transition and pushing and for some reason that's embarrassing to me.  I wish I could be one of those women who is silent and calm.

 

I know on the other side, I'll be snuggling this baby and I'd be willing to do it all over again, but here on this brink of giving birth in the next week or two I'm scared!

 


All of this!  I was really embarrassed by how loud and "out of control" I was during DD's birth.  Now, I had a hospital induction and birth that I hadn't wanted and that caused a lot of panic that caused me to FREAK OUT through most of her birth, but I found it really hard to reconcile how birth was with how I IMAGINED it (and my reaction to it) would be.

 

This time...I'm hoping so badly to avoid an induction and cope better with the whole ordeal...and I'm trying to take comfort in the knowledge that it ends, that you forget, and it is entirely worth it.

 


Beth knit.gif.  wife to DH and Mama to DD1 heartbeat.gif (May 1-09) and DD2 heartbeat.gif (Nov 2-11)   

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#8 of 8 Old 10-09-2011, 12:00 AM
 
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I am glad you have the oppurtunity to birth at home. Even though you don't know what to ezpect, you know your own house, and your family, so just imagine how you want it to be.. what do you need to keep yourself comfortable and relaxed... you are strong, you've done this before, so just hang on to that strength, keep yourself relaxed and just keep breathing!

 

Sending you blessed birthing vibes, mama!!


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