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Old 11-02-2011, 03:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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317041_2420630644483_1512942673_2602147_435172043_n.jpgIMG_3216.JPGSorry I have been so quiet, posted a lot in the beginning of this, kinda drifted away due to working a lot, kids etc...

 

Anyhow, we were due November 3rd. I joined this DDC though,since it was so close to the end of October & you know how anything that can make it feel less, is good...So Ocgtober sounded like a good club to join.

 

My wifes pregnancy was going super well, other than the fact that she has such severe morning sickness from 9 weeks on, through the rest of the pregnancy. Day & night, all she did was vomit, nothing helped her. But like I said, everything else was going amazing....Or so we thought :( We went to the doctor on September 23rd, baby was doing great, kicking, had a strong hearbeat, and the doctor was telling us how we were in the final stretch and would soon have our baby!! We were 34 weeks along then....The day my wife turned 35 weeks, she had mentioned the baby had not been moving at all like normal, hee & there but really...Nothing. We gave her orange juice, had her lay on her side, back, used a flashlight on her belly, vibrations, music, and after about an hour of all that, and the baby didnt move one time, we figured we better go in to be safe.

 

Arrived at the hospital, feeling crazy, cause we had been there 4 other times due to lack of movement, only to find out that she was fine, just being stubborn. Nurses say "Ohhh jenn & April here again with that stubborn baby of theirs! Lay on back & let us find her hearbeat so you all can go home!!" We all laughed, but I think deep down April & I just knew it was different this time.

 

Nurse cant pick up the babys hearbeat....She says dont stress. I panic because it NEVER takes them more than 5 or 6 seconds to find it....10 minutes of agony, until we get the U/S ,machine wheeled up to us. April has never been pregnant, I have been pregnant 5 times, with 2 early m/c, and I iam obsessed about U/S stuff, so I just know what to look for. The dr is scanning by the babys heart and not saying anything. April asks the Dr if there is a heartbeat and I yell "NO!! OMG NO!!" and start crying, before the Dr said a word. the dr. says she is sorry & confirms what I already said....Our daughter had passed away and had no hearbeat.

 

They gave us a choice to go home for a few days to "Process" this before we decide what to do, or do a c-section asap, or induce and wait it out. We chose to induce & wait it out because we were NOT about to go home with my wife carrying around our dead baby :( and c-section is just a major surgery that we didnt want to deal with. April wanted to do things naturally when the baby was ok, so why change that now, just because she wasnt okay?!

 

We had a million calls to make, got everyone to the L&D room, had 10 close friends & family when she delivered....It is such a huge massive mass of emotions that I wish on nobody else in the world. the most wrenching heartache you could feel, times a million and one!! It LITERALLY HURTS!!

 

October 1st, after they induced her, we were on day 2 of finding out & being there....Baby Elliana Jean was born at 6:17am, 4 pounds of pure beauty, black curly hair....perfect everything. My wife pused 2 times and she was born. I told her that she was amazing. She did so well through it all.

 

There is so much more to the story, but long story short, we both stayed in the hospital with our daughter for 24 more hours....held her, loved on her, changed her clothes, took her pictures, Kissed her, cried, barely slept because we didnt want to miss a second of being with her.

 

We buried her in Spring Grover Cemetary, the most beautiful cemetary ever. It is the 3rd biggest in the USA and probably the 3rd most beautiful also. Spring Grove has a very special meaning to both April & I...She took me on a first date there, proposed to me there, her parents & my grandparents are all buried there....So there was nowhere else we wanted her to be, if she couldnt be in our arms. We didnt care the price. Nothing else mattered, it was the only time we would be able to spoil her and give her what she deserved and whatever we wanted, without any thoughts.

 

We laid her to rest on October 5, 2011, at noon....We released 25 pink & white balloons to her after the service....

 

We have pictures, mementos all over our house. She will never be forgotten and I will never hide her or forget her. God how we miss her so much though.

 

I am so sorry to throw this on you all, I know its a downer, but I sincerely hope you all have wonderful outcomes and please love those babies as much as you can....Nothing is promised to us, tomorow could be gone in a second and you just dont realize that until it is too late :(

 

here is our beautiful daughter Elliana Jean....RIP our forever angel, mama & Mommy love you so so much!!

 

Please excuse any typos, I am not feeling up to spell check.

IMG3151copyBW.jpg


rainbow1284.gifApril & Jenn--Mommy & Mama To Three Kiddos, DS-17 jammin.gif DS-14 wild.gif & DD-12 hearts.gif Rest in Peace sweet Elliana, our DD who was stillborn 10-1-11. You will forever be our Sunshine coolshine.gif Cautiously anticipating our rainbow baby on the 4th of July!! rainbow1284.gif

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Old 11-02-2011, 04:03 PM
 
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I am so so sorry for your loss. Elliana is absolutely gorgeous.


Steph, DH Jason (1-1-11), DS Owen (10-3-03) and DS Kai (10-13-11)

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Old 11-02-2011, 04:19 PM
 
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She is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing her with us. Your family will be in my thoughts. I'm so, so sorry for this incredible loss.


Nicole treehugger.gif  Busy with my two boys.jog.gifdiaper.gif  The 'big boy' too. peace.gifOh, and a sweet baby girl, born at home in October. love.gif

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Old 11-02-2011, 04:22 PM
 
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So exquisitely sad for you and your family's loss.  Thank you for sharing your daughter's story. 


Teacher until birth of DS (7-27-08)blowkiss.gifand now DD (10-17-11)femalesling.GIF:, now SAHM, wife to my wonderful hard-working DH.   cd.gifnocirc.gifselectivevax.gif

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Old 11-02-2011, 04:23 PM
 
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candle.gif Elliana Jean

 

I'm so sorry for your loss.

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Old 11-02-2011, 04:24 PM
 
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She is beautiful! My thoughts & prayers are with you as you heal.

{{{HUGS}}}

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Old 11-02-2011, 04:36 PM
 
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I'm so sorry for your loss.  She is lovely and I'm sure will be eternally missed. 


Social working mommy to babygirl.gif 10/10/11, three cats, and a dog.

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Old 11-02-2011, 04:40 PM
 
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candle.gif

 

So sorry for your loss.  She is beautiful, and obviously loved so very much.  Wishing you and your family peace and comfort.  grouphug.gif


SAHM to Melinda (Oct '03), Jacob (Aug '05),  Alex (Apr '08), and baby.gif Malcolm (Sept 29, '11)

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Old 11-02-2011, 05:00 PM
 
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Memory Eternal! Your baby girl is beautiful. I'll be.praying for healing for your family.

Hannah, Wife to R , Mama to Alexander, born 2-15-08,
and Gabriel, born 10-17-11. Ask me about cleft lip and palate!
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Old 11-02-2011, 05:00 PM
 
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I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful little one. hug2.gif

Wife to DH, mama to bikenew.gif DD (7) ribboncesarean.gif, babyf.gif DS born 3/12 ribboncesarean.gif, and have had five early losses. angel1.gif
I have Stiff Person Syndrome and my other car is a candy apple red Rascal. Feel free to ask me about it. wheelchair.gif
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Old 11-02-2011, 05:27 PM
 
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I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you so much for posting this. She is absolutely beautiful. Burying a child and saying goodbye is so so hard but they leave an amazing imprint on our hearts that will never go away and can never be replaced.  I will be thinking of you and your family during this difficult time.

 


nicole wild.gif,  mom to 3 boys here on earth jumpers.gif 9, 7 and 4.5 and 2 girl's fly-by-nursing2.gif2.5 and 10/16/11. Always remembering my babies in heaven:  Sam (9/7/05) at 12.5 wks  angel1.gif, Morgan (2/13/06) at 6 wks angel1.gif , Emeric angel2.gif (8/9/10 at 17 wks) and Pepper angel1.gif (11/26/10) at 8wks. 

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Old 11-02-2011, 05:30 PM
 
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I'm so sorry for your pain.  Thank you for sharing her picture, she is just so beautiful.  Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.  


Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
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Old 11-02-2011, 05:41 PM
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I am so very sorry for your loss. I wish you, your wife, and your family peace and healing. Your daughter was beautiful.


professor & maman de DS1 (6) & DS2 (1)

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Old 11-02-2011, 05:44 PM
 
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I have added you and your daughter to our "Remembering our lost babies and their grieving mamas thread" please let me know if there is anything you would like me to add or change.
 


nicole wild.gif,  mom to 3 boys here on earth jumpers.gif 9, 7 and 4.5 and 2 girl's fly-by-nursing2.gif2.5 and 10/16/11. Always remembering my babies in heaven:  Sam (9/7/05) at 12.5 wks  angel1.gif, Morgan (2/13/06) at 6 wks angel1.gif , Emeric angel2.gif (8/9/10 at 17 wks) and Pepper angel1.gif (11/26/10) at 8wks. 

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Old 11-02-2011, 05:45 PM
 
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So sorry for your loss.  I can't even imagine the pain you must be feeling.  You and your family are in my thoughts.


Awesome vegan mom to wolverine babyf.gif11/11 and sabertooth 11/13 and partner to a drum.gifwe also have dog2.gif

 

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Old 11-02-2011, 05:54 PM
 
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So sorry for your loss. greensad.gif
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Old 11-02-2011, 06:31 PM
 
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So sorry. She is beautiful.


Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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Old 11-02-2011, 06:33 PM
 
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Elliana ... candle.gif

 

April and Jenn ... I'll be holding you both and your family in my heart.  I am so very sorry for your loss.  Elliana is beautiful.

 


dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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Old 11-02-2011, 06:43 PM
 
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I am so sorry, words cannot express it. My thoughts are with you and your family.
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Old 11-02-2011, 07:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you ladies so very much for all of the kind words, thoughts & prayers....It has been a terrible nightmare that nobody should have to endure ever....Thank you Nicole for doing that, much appreciated. ((Hugs)) to you all.


rainbow1284.gifApril & Jenn--Mommy & Mama To Three Kiddos, DS-17 jammin.gif DS-14 wild.gif & DD-12 hearts.gif Rest in Peace sweet Elliana, our DD who was stillborn 10-1-11. You will forever be our Sunshine coolshine.gif Cautiously anticipating our rainbow baby on the 4th of July!! rainbow1284.gif

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Old 11-02-2011, 07:16 PM
 
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Oh Tourneymama, I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. You wrote with such enthusiasm and joy about your anticipation of this child. I have been thinking of you lately, about your infectious excitement over your wife's pregnancy, about your gorgeous wedding, and I was worried that we hadn't heard from you. You are in my thoughts and I hope you are surrounded by love and support. 


dissertating mom to three

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Old 11-02-2011, 07:38 PM
 
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Oh, my heart goes out to all of you.  I am so sorry for your loss.  Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful story with us.  My thoughts are with all of you.  She is a beautiful daughter.


Amy, feathering our nest with sweet husband O and baby girl, P (October 2011). 
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Old 11-02-2011, 07:51 PM
 
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Tourneymama, I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter.  


carrot.gifbroc1.gifbanana.gifbanana.gif 10, 8, 1 & 1
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Old 11-02-2011, 10:17 PM
 
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My DP and I send our love and condolonces. She is a beautiful angel... Im so sorry for your loss ... healing love to you and your lovely wife 


Loving life with our triplet boys born Feb 24th 2013 at 34 weeks biggrinbounce.gif

 

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Old 11-02-2011, 10:30 PM
 
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I am so sorry...


Apartment Farm - the chronicles of my cooking, gardening, crafting and other such things. 

 

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Old 11-03-2011, 03:55 AM
 
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tourneymom -- my thoughts are with you and your partner.  i am so very sorry for the loss of your daughter.  


Ex-pat gal (40y.o.) in France and her Froggy wife (42y.o.).  Expecting a little (brussel) "sprout"  in Dec 2012 after a year of at-home inseminations and three medicated IUIs in Belgium.  

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Old 11-03-2011, 07:26 AM
 
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April, Jenn and family - thank you for sharing. you're story touched my heart. I am so incredibily sorry for your loss... there aren't words. she is beautiful! i'm going to hug my son extra tight today in her memory. be gentle with yourselves. sending lots of love and light to you and yours.

candle.gif

DP and I  rainbow1284.gif together since 2001, brokenheart.gif 4/10,  pos.gif 7/10
DS - planned h20homebirth.gif born via ribboncesarean.gif 4/4/2011
)O( treehugger.gif nocirc.gif winner.jpg cd.gif greenthumb.gif earth.gif whale.gif
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Old 11-03-2011, 08:33 AM
 
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Thanks for sharing your story with us. I'm thinking of you and sending you healing and peaceful wishes.

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Old 11-03-2011, 08:42 AM
 
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Jenn, I'm so very sorry for your loss. Prayers for you and April, be gentle with yourselves, I pray you will be able to find peace and healing. grouphug.gif


~Iris~ Catholic mama to DD1 11/15/05 * DD2 04/28/08 * brokenheart.gif06/23/2010 * and our little rainbow DS 10/07/11 love.gif
 

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Old 11-03-2011, 08:46 AM
 
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Elliana is beautiful....


mom to ds '07 first day of a new year, dd '09 in the caul, and  ds '11 at home Oct 24th

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