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Old 11-14-2011, 09:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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New thread for the week! It's been awhile since I've started one... I feel like I've been gone for a long time. I always read the chat thread, but posting in them seems impossible these days.

 

Anyway, I wanted to thank everyone for listening to my rant about the dinner I was going to cook. I did end up cooking it (all from scratch too, except the gravy... I hate making gravy!). We had turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, mac n cheese, cranberry sauce, spinach salad, rolls, ambrosia salad and pumpkin pie. Kai was a doll baby and slept a lot that day too so I got the cooking done on time (aimed for it to be done at 5:00, everything was done by 5:15... not bad! LOL!).

 

My MIL and FIL did come over for most of the afternoon and evening on Saturday for dinner. I basically tried my best to ignore everything they said, because they've been driving me up the wall lately. I had to bite my tongue REALLY HARD at MIL once. She told me that I needed to "drop the kids off with me and then you and Jason can go back home and clean for 4 or so hours". WTF?! When I asked her "and how do you plan to feed Kai?" she just smiled and said "oh, he'll be fine". Seriously I wanted to punch her in the face (and I'm so not a violent person). Kai eats usually every 1 1/2-2 hours right now, all from the breast. But "he'll be fine" with her for 4 hours??? No doubt she would have given him formula instead of calling me to say he's hungry (we live like 5 minutes away from each other). So not only was this a knock on my parenting, but also on my housekeeping skills (which really pissed me off because I had worked hard to clean my house before they came over Saturday too, my house was NOT dirty and certainly didn't need 4 hours of cleaning!). Not only that, but this is the same woman who always insists that she wants my older ds alone too. The last time we left my older ds alone with her (which SHE wanted us to do, insisting that dh and I go out to dinner) was this summer. We weren't even gone 15 minutes (hadn't even made it to the restaurant) when MIL was calling our phone saying that "Owen wants you to come back, he misses you". So we asked to talk to ds on the phone, where he insisted he was fine with FIL and didn't want us to come back. MIL was totally lying to us about the situation, she just didn't want to deal with ds anymore... and that was only 15 minutes! What makes her think I'm going to leave BOTH my kids with her for 4 HOURS?? It's a moot point anyway, because she has some mental issues so DH and I had already decided we wouldn't be leaving either of the kids alone with her (FIL is cool though, we do leave him alone with older ds sometimes).

 

Anyway, when I was cleaning on Saturday morning I also noticed our dishwasher had died. Doh! So we had to go out and get a new dishwasher (will be installed later this week), which meant that all our dishes had to be washed by hand after cooking that big meal. Doh! Thankfully my MIL did help out with that, which I am very grateful for.

 

And FIL just called and asked if he could go buy Kai diapers. Of course I said yes (those things are expensive!). So he said he would go out to Sam's Club and get *2* of the big boxes (234 diapers in each!) for us. Holy cow that was awesome to hear and will be a huge help!!

 

But the best news.... Kai SLEPT! Holy cow did he sleep. He fell asleep last night at 11pm. He woke up this morning at 8am. Between that time he only woke up ONCE! That's it! And only for 1 hour before going back to sleep!! This baby is usually awake 4 times a night, one of which is usually a 2-3 hour chunk where he's just awake the whole time. I feel like a totally new person, having gotten sleep! My boobs, however, were ready to explode and I woke up soaking wet (through breast pads even).

 

Anyway, hope everyone has a fantastic week! I'm getting ready to head off to ds's school for an IEP meeting. Hopefully Kai is a good baby and sleeps in the Moby the whole time. Fingers crossed!


Steph, DH Jason (1-1-11), DS Owen (10-3-03) and DS Kai (10-13-11)

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Old 11-14-2011, 09:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Lifeguard- I've always wondered why people call it the "terrible twos". In ds's case, the 2's weren't bad. The 3's were the worst. I don't know how I would have survived it with a newborn. I bow down to all of you who are dealing with toddlers now too!


Steph, DH Jason (1-1-11), DS Owen (10-3-03) and DS Kai (10-13-11)

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Old 11-14-2011, 04:37 PM
 
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Steph, I remember that story from summer, and I can't believe she would want both kids for 4 hours!  And oh, what a dig to throw housekeeping into that comment, too!  Can't believe you managed to hold your tongue with that!  And your dishwasher died after a gigantic feast?!?  Oh, so sorry.  At least you were able to get a replacement quickly, huh?

 

Malcolm went SEVEN hours between feedings last night.  I woke up bewildered and nervous.  I mean, 6 week old bf'd babies aren't *supposed* to sleep that long, right?!?  But he seems perfectly fine, nursing slightly more frequently today, still peeing and pooping, no sunken soft spot, etc.  (Actually, he's sleeping a lot more solidly today that he's been doing during daytimes, lately.)  He's had quite a handful of days within the last few weeks where he's had at least a 4-6 hour stretch without nursing, but 7 seemed like pushing it, you know?  I've asked on the KellyMom forums, and so far nobody seems to think it's anything to worry about!  (Somehow I still feel tired today, even after all the good sleep, though...)


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Old 11-14-2011, 06:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It. Never. Ends. So dh had a friend come over this afternoon and they pulled out the dishwasher. What do we discover? Mold. Most of it is just harmless mold, but there's a somewhat large spot of black mold too. No idea what's behind/under the cupboards or on the other side of the wall (behind the dishwasher). Yes, this is the *second* time this year we've had to deal with a mold issue in this house. And our house is only 7 years old!! So we sealed the area off and will have to find someone to come in and clean it up before the dishwasher is delivered (thursday).

 

Leiahs- That is a long stretch! As long as you aren't counting on breastfeeding to keep away your fertility, I don't think it's a big deal since Malcolm is still growing and thriving. Consider yourself lucky!


Steph, DH Jason (1-1-11), DS Owen (10-3-03) and DS Kai (10-13-11)

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Old 11-14-2011, 07:27 PM
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wave.gif Hi all. Too tired to post, but am reading and wishing everyone well.

 

I give you a haiku.

 

6 week growth spurt

 

Baby sleeps, minutes

at a time, between feedings.

Oh, my poor nipples.


professor & maman de DS1 (6) & DS2 (1)

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Old 11-14-2011, 08:03 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~pi View Post

wave.gif Hi all. Too tired to post, but am reading and wishing everyone well.

 

I give you a haiku.

 

6 week growth spurt

 

Baby sleeps, minutes

at a time, between feedings.

Oh, my poor nipples.

You are my hero for the day.
 

 


Mom to Eli babyboy.gif 10/18/11 and loving wife to Derrin. heartbeat.gif 

Proud to be "that" girl--the crazy bedsharing, sling-wearing, breastfeeding mama everyone

thinks is crazy!

 

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Old 11-14-2011, 08:12 PM
 
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Oh, Pi, that's so funny...

Steph, sorry about the dishwasher and mold. Congrats on your successful dinner. I bow down to you!

As for the two of you with sleeping babies, once again, I'm jealous. It will come for us, too. I hope.

AFM, I've been dealing with a milk blister on my nipple for weeks and it has been so painful. I think it's finally going away. Not sure, but I'm thinking it was brought on my DS's tongue tie that we discovered last week thanks to our lc. We had it clipped on FrIday. It was scary going in to do it but it really wasn't bad at all. He hardly cried and we put him on the breast right after and he wasn't even bothered enough to nurse (he had just nursed right before). This has helped his latch and my nips immensely. Then on Saturday, we had to have his now month old umbilical cord silver nitrated but here it is two days later and it's still hanging on strongly. I just wanna give my baby a bath!

Hannah, Wife to R , Mama to Alexander, born 2-15-08,
and Gabriel, born 10-17-11. Ask me about cleft lip and palate!
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Old 11-14-2011, 08:12 PM
 
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pi - I love it!

 

steph - such a great update & then, not so great. I sure hope you can get the mold taken care of quickly. I don't think mold takes very long to appear, especially if there is any moisture.

 

sleeping baby's - wow - so many great sleepers! Dd is not terrible but certainly not going 7 hours!!!!

 

Thank you everyone for all the support - I feel much better that it's not just me being a terrible mommy. A good friend of mine who's ds is 6 months older than ds was telling me the same things today - so I really think this is a 3 thing more than anything else. On the up side ds & I had a great day today - the best we've had in weeks. It really went well, although I had to be "on" all the time to help keep it going well, but I'll take it! I told dh that crying really does solve things 'cause I had a BIG cry about this last night & then today was better.

 

Tomorrow I turn 34. Crazy. We gave dd a bottle of breastmilk for the first time yesterday & she happily took it so we are going to try to leave both of them with my Mom on Wednesday night & go out for a date. I am kind of excited & totally nervous - I didn't leave ds with anyone other than dh until he was more than 6 months old.


Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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Old 11-14-2011, 11:11 PM
 
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Um, not only have I totally lost track of what's going on here with all of you, I can't remember if Corbin is 8 or 9 weeks old tomorrow. He's 2 months old as of yesterday, so I'm guessing 9...

I have absolutely zero life outside of taking care of this kid, yet I can't evenremember how old he is? I never thought caring fir an infant would be more mentally taxing than my job as a regulatory compliance analyst.

Alaskan Wife and Mama to my special little guy ribbluyel.gif (9/13/11) and expecting #2 (2/21/13)!

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Old 11-15-2011, 06:14 AM
 
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Lifeguard, Happy Birthday! (We're both the same age. Go 1977 year of the Snake!) I hope your birthday involves angelic dc.

 

Pi, happy and sad--happy about the haiku and sad about the poor nipples.

 

Karli, I can't believe Corbin is that big. Mine is 2 weeks old. Will you post any more pictures soon?

 

We have an odd problem: we have too much food. People are still bringing us stuff, and mainly my mother has brought us enough food for a month, so when anyone brings a meal, it's overwhelming. The freezer has no more room. And then I can't eat everything right now because I'm cutting out acidic veggies/fruits and dairy. So I still have to get out to food shop for myself!

 

Steph, your MIL strikes back. Wow.


Making a March 9th sandwich with a Halloween filling.
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Old 11-15-2011, 08:00 AM
 
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Happy birthday lifeguard! 

Steph, sorry about the dishwasher, and especially the mold... what a pain. 

Hope everyone else is doing well, I wish I had more time to do personals but things are a bit chaotic around here.

 

AFM, our household has been invaded by the cold. Both DDs have it, but are little troopers through it as they always are, poor DS got his yesterday and has been an absolutely miserable little fellow ever since, he can't go two minutes without being held and even then he is screaming his poor congested little head off half the time. The other half is spent either nursing or sleeping fitfully. Me, I just have the scratchy throat- slight sniffles - coughing kind, and DH... well, DH has the infamous Man Cold. Ten times more serious than any other kind, of course. He took a day off work again today (unpaid, of course) which he doesn't do for anyone but himself. I am so pissed about it. I had a doctor's appointment for Théoden a few weeks ago when he wasn't latching properly, thus not feeding properly, and consequently losing weight. He had oral aversion, most likely due to the aggressive suctioning they had to do after he was born. I was freaking out, and really needed DH with me on the follow up appointment where I was going to find out if DS had stopped losing weight, and DH said there was no way he could take a day off, that he wouldn't get paid and we could NOT afford that (this is very true), so I went by myself with all three kids. Happily, DS was gaining weight and doing fine. It took a lot of patience, dedication, and sore nipples to get him past his fear of anything going in his mouth, but we did it. 

And now DH has a measly cold and he is taking another day or two off work. Because of course his cold is so bad he is almost dying. Men! censored.gif


~Iris~ Catholic mama to DD1 11/15/05 * DD2 04/28/08 * brokenheart.gif06/23/2010 * and our little rainbow DS 10/07/11 love.gif
 

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Old 11-15-2011, 10:53 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leiahs View Post

 

 

Malcolm went SEVEN hours between feedings last night.  I woke up bewildered and nervous.  I mean, 6 week old bf'd babies aren't *supposed* to sleep that long, right?!?  But he seems perfectly fine, nursing slightly more frequently today, still peeing and pooping, no sunken soft spot, etc.  (Actually, he's sleeping a lot more solidly today that he's been doing during daytimes, lately.)  He's had quite a handful of days within the last few weeks where he's had at least a 4-6 hour stretch without nursing, but 7 seemed like pushing it, you know?  I've asked on the KellyMom forums, and so far nobody seems to think it's anything to worry about!  (Somehow I still feel tired today, even after all the good sleep, though...)


sooo jealous!

 

dd slept 5-7 hours right from birth...dr newman told me it was great - no need to wake a baby born over 8lbs who is gaining ;)

 

new baby sleeps 1-2 hours

 


mom to ds '07 first day of a new year, dd '09 in the caul, and  ds '11 at home Oct 24th

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Old 11-15-2011, 01:20 PM
 
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Steph - You and this mold...it's like a horror movie...

 

Lifeguard - Happy birthday, Mama!

 

Pi - awesome haiku...I feel inspired to write one.

 

Hannah - Great news about the tongue tie resolution.  Hoping for a similarly  happy ending myself...

 

Iris - Oy with these colds.  DS stayed home from preschool yesterday and today.  At dinner last night DH said he was starting to get that back-of-the-throat tickle...luckily, DH never gets "man colds"...I think it's me who gets the "man colds" in that I complain a lot...y'know..."I'm dyyyyying" and all that.  redface.gif

 

AFM - Sooo...how Bad Mama is this?  DS is all sick and I just yelled at him repeatedly as I was getting him transitioned to nap.  He was fussing because I said he'd have to finish watching a movie after nap (as opposed to before nap).  Then he refused to take the herbal cough syrup I got for him, even though I asked him to and then told him to repeatedly.  As soon as I dumped it he started crying that he wanted it.  And then he wouldn't let it go.  I had to be loud/angry mama to get him out of his pants and underpants for a diaper, and to turn his lamp back on if he wanted it on instead of saying I should do it, and to pick out a story and to, for the love of all things holy!!!!, stop talking about wanting the $#&&! cough syrup after you refused to take it again and again!  One story, no songs, no hugs, no kisses, no "have good sleepies...i love you" - just angry mama and poor sick 3 year old acting 3.

 

guilty.gif


Teacher until birth of DS (7-27-08)blowkiss.gifand now DD (10-17-11)femalesling.GIF:, now SAHM, wife to my wonderful hard-working DH.   cd.gifnocirc.gifselectivevax.gif

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Old 11-15-2011, 09:09 PM
 
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steph that sucks about the mold & your completely tactless MiL

 

pi I hope the growth spurt passes quickly

 

happy b-day lifeguard

 

hannah I hope the tongue-tie clipping helps!

 

not telling I totally had a night like that on Sunday.  DH was out and I had to put DD1 to bed by myself.  DD2 invariably wants to eat while this is happening, which makes it really difficult.  I had just spent the last 3 days telling DD1 at least 100 times to stop jumping on the furniture.  DD was being difficult, & I just couldn't take it.  Mean mommy came out af.gif I feel so bad for how much more easily annoyed I am by her these days.

 

AFM I went to see a LC.  Wanted to make sure there wasn't anything weird going on with DD's latch, since my nipples are still on the sore side, & I figured I'll try to do the hospital grade pump for a month.  So far I've managed to pump 5x today for a grand total of.... one ounce shake.gif.  It was encouraging to hear from the LC that I'm pretty much doing everything right as far as dealing with my low supply goes & there's no tongue tie or anything hindering the latch. Not so encouraging is that DD is almost a month old and is only ever-so-slightly above her birth weight.  I'm not sure what to make of it.  The LC did not seem too worried about it. She said DD looks really healthy. She's wetting plenty of dipes and I feed her as much formula as she wants in the lact-aid.  She started off so big to begin with... she's got fat rolls like DD1 never had.  I guess I'll just make a point of weighing her more often; there's a place I can drop in anytime.

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Old 11-16-2011, 12:53 AM
 
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nak...

After three terrible nights, I went to sleep at 8 and was woken by sore boobs at 2:30.  I was terrified to look in the sidecar, so I slowly put my hand in, and she was wiggling in her sleep.  DH feeds her a pumped bottle before he goes to bed while I have a "prenighttime nap", but she totally slept through 1-2 feedings.  She's tiny and still usually eats every 2-3 hours throughout the day and night.  I got 6.5 hours of sleep.  Now, I'm trying to get her to eat, because I am THROBBING.  I believe insane growth spurt feeds might be over for the time being.  Thank god.

 

Steph: What a nightmare.

 

Karli: I get you on the baby care intensity.  I work in homeless mental health, it is demanding and intense, but this is a completely different type of demanding and intense. I've started to try to go out with a friend or colleague once a week to try to feel like myself.

 

Pi: Fabulous haiku.


Social working mommy to babygirl.gif 10/10/11, three cats, and a dog.

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Old 11-16-2011, 05:10 AM
 
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Whoa, mandatory super quick update. Corbin's two month appointment was today. We were curious to see how much he'd gained. His chart looks like this...
9/13/11 - 5 lbs 4 oz
9/20/11 - 5lbs .1 oz
9/24/11 - 5lbs 4oz
10/11/11 - 6lbs 4oz
11/15/11 - 10lbs!!!!!!!

No BS, this kid gained SIXTY OUNCES in 35 days. This kid loves food. We're pretty sure solids will be started early!

Pictures and video of us letting him "taste" bad things at photobucket.com/corbinlopez (password is his birth month, lowercase).

Also, I am super jealous of those of you with sleeping babies. We had one six hour stretch, but he's still on the 4 hours max schedule, no matter what I try. We discovered that physical therapy exhausts him though, so we're now working on his tummy time right before bed. smile.gif

Alaskan Wife and Mama to my special little guy ribbluyel.gif (9/13/11) and expecting #2 (2/21/13)!

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Old 11-16-2011, 06:44 AM
 
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Pi:  Oh your poor nipples lol.gif  Love it, and sending sympathy!

 

Hannahkatiebell: I had no idea a cord could hang on so long!  Want to know the terrible thing?  I keep forgetting all sorts of things I was totally anal and worried about the first time around -  I forgot you were supposed to wait to bathe them until their cord dropped - I just gave her baths right away!  duh!

 

lifeguard:  birthday.gif  Hope you have a great time tonight!


Rosemary:  Too much food!  What a great problem eat.gif  

 

not_telling:  Oy, Bad Mama - been there, done that!  DD has been having a nap every afternoon, after several months of refusing one.  So, it's been wonderful to nap with her and the baby, we all really need it right now.  Except for one day on the weekend when DD decided she didn't want to nap and I laid down with the baby, hoping she would join us, and instead she puttered around, played with toys on top of me, talked and talked, etc, basically keeping us from sleeping either.  Poor little thing was totally just being little and honestly was still being very good, but I was SOOOO annoyed and finally got up and snapped at her about the mess of her toys and how mommy didn't care that she wanted to go downstairs because mommy wanted a nap but obviously we don't always get what we want!  etc.  It was still pretty mild, but I heard it coming out of my mouth and just cringed - I try to never ever talk to her like that and it's so hard to lose your patience.  
 

livacreature:  it really isn't fair, is it?  They actually let us sleep and we wake up terrified that something is wrong with them.  

 

Karli: 10 lb!! Go Corbin!!


 

 

AFM: Claire is 2 weeks old today!  How did that happen??  She has really started to wake up a lot in the past couple of days and spends much more time awake now, and has started to coo and gurgle and smile love.gif.  Seriously, I think having babies is the ultimate high...I want to have about 5 more.  DD has been a dream, (I should knock some wood), so patient and totally accepting of the baby and her needs, full of affection, going to bed well, napping every day, she is just a perfectly lovely little person right now.  I am so lucky!!

 

Aaaaand, we DTD last night!!!!!  Yeehaw! banana.gif (I think the dancing banana really does the trick in a lot of situations, don't you?)   Everything was great and I'm really thankful to have healed so fast after that 10lb munchkin of mine!  A friend was telling me the other day about an acquaintance who had a 10lb baby and they had to call in a *trauma team* to stitch her back together afterwards bigeyes.gif

 

Proud of myself - MIL, FIL and GMIL stopped in unexpectedly yesterday (they had to drive to the nearby airport on short notice and I missed their call in the morning saying they were coming)  Not only was my house (mostly) clean, my kids were clean and dressed (and so was I!) and I was able to whip out a full meal of meatloaf, mashed potatoes and veg thanks to my frozen meal stash!  They were totally impressed.  

 

Breastfeeding is going about the same - she still isn't interested in nursing, she just falls right into comfort nursing, I guess there just isn't the supply there to get her excited.  BUT, I have been pumping and have been able to replace one of her bottles with 4-5 oz of  (relatively easily pumped) breastmilk every day.  Honestly, that is so much more than I expected to happen this time around that I am thrilled to accomplish that.  

 

Taking both girls out for lunch with a friend today.....wish me luck.....


 

 


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Old 11-16-2011, 08:10 AM
 
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Karli - Whoa!  Go baby and go mama! That's some impressive weight gain.

 

livacreature - Wow, that's some solid sleep! I hate that feeling, though, when they've slept too long or are just too quiet... I'm always laying my hand on DS in the middle of the night to make sure I can feel breath, as he's a super quiet breather most of the time. DS slept well last night for the first time in a week or so (not 6.5 hours well, but still!) and it's amazing how much better you feel after a couple more hours.

 

snugglebugmom - Ugh. MEN. DH had off yesterday and today but told me he wouldn't help with the baby at night because "it's his off day". But he doesn't help on work days because "I'm tired from work!" Ugh. Sometimes I have to wonder how men's heads are just so screwy. Hope everyone feels better soon--especially your DH so he can stop his theatrics.

 

AFM - I've been looking into cosleepers... originally I intended for DS to be in the pack n play bassinet next to my bed. But we never put him in it, we just kept him in bed with us. Now he absolutely refuses to sleep in it. He won't even nap in it. 2 minutes and he's awake. We have a queen bed and we're large people, plus I hate not being able to cuddle with DH when DS is in the middle. But I can't afford to buy a cosleeper like an Arm's Reach. So I'm going to sidecar a crib, I think. I couldn't find a drop side crib anywhere (that whole illegal thing, ya know?) but I mentioned it to my mom. She says her friend who also fosters/adopts has a drop side crib that she had to stop using, and she'd probably just give it to me. Yay! I'm hoping she can talk to her soon so I can get going on it. I'm excited! I think it'll work better even than an Arm's Reach would.

 

Eli's newborn hearing screen is today at the hospital. I'm not looking forward to taking my newborn to a place full of sickness, but the ped wants me to get it done. My mw said it wasn't a bad idea, and for no good reason DH seems to be worried about DS's hearing (he reacts to noises, DH is just paranoid). So off I go--definitely going to wear him so no one thinks they can be all touchy. Also... how the HECK do they expect you to be able to plan for your baby to be "in a quiet state and ready for a nap" at a certain time of day? He's a NEWBORN!


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Old 11-16-2011, 09:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Trinket- with my older ds I sidecared a crib to my bed. For awhile it worked great.... until ds was mobile (rolling, crawling) and then he would move into my bed and I would end up curled up in the crib for most of the night lol.gif  When my older ds was 2 I had to get his hearing checked again (a full hearing test, not just the screening). This meant I had to wake him up at 2am and keep him (and I) awake for the rest of the night AND keep him awake the next morning on the 45 minute drive to the doctors office where the test was done. Then when we got to the office I was supposed to get him to fall asleep.... but by that time he was wired (got his second wind) and didn't want to go to sleep. It was a disaster. Thankfully he eventually nursed to sleep and we got the test done, but I think we were in the office for about 4 hours just trying to get him to fall asleep and get the test done! A newborn should be a breeze. LOL!

 

Beth- good luck today! And woo on dtd! We haven't yet, and Kai will be 5 weeks old tomorrow. I'm terrified that it's going to hurt. With my older ds I left his bio-dad shortly after he was born so we never dtd after ds's birth (in fact, I didn't dtd again until ds was 3 years old!). I think I just need to suck it up and try.

 

Karli- holy weight gain! Awesome!!

 

livacreature- woo for sleeping!! Kai impressed me again with another good nights sleep. From 11:30-8:00 with only 1 wake-up! I'm loving it, but my poor boobies are not.

 

Bad Mommy- I've had Bad Mommy sneak out here too, which sucks because older ds has been sick with the flu for almost 2 weeks (he was out of school for a week, went back for 3 days then came home Monday saying he wasn't feeling good and has been home the last 2 days with a fever again). I try really hard to bite my tongue, but there are things I KNOW he knows how/what to do and he's just refusing to. That drives me insane. Unfortunately, since I've been able to keep Bad Mommy in check most of the time, Bad Wifey has come rearing her ugly head. My poor dh gets the brunt of my frustration.

 

Lifeguard- hope you had a fantastic birthday!! partytime.gif

 

We had a couple people over yesterday to look at the dishwasher mold area and give us estimates on what it will cost to fix it. We have the area sealed off for now, but it's not looking good. There's talk of knocking out walls and removing cupboards. I just want to close my eyes and pretend none of this is happening. So freaking frustrating. Needless to say, the dishwasher will not be delivered this week as planned, since we need to fix the area first.

 

I don't really talk about the court stuff that's happening in here but I have to vent for a minute. So ds and I have been living with my dh since summer of 2007. Ex knew this (he didn't come to court to argue my request to move states so the Judge gave me permission to move ds to Kentucky from Michigan). Ex had no problem with this for years. Until last summer (2010) when he crawled out of whatever hole he had been hiding in (he hadn't seen ds in years and hadn't had him alone for a visit since 2005) and he thought he could make me look bad in front of the Judge by telling the Judge that I wasn't married to dh but we were living together (this is a *very* strict Judge so that was highly looked down upon). I was basically told that we needed to either be married or living separately by the time we went in front of the Judge again. The main reason we weren't married was because as a "single mom" my ds got medicaid, which paid for most of his massive medical/therapy bills (and dh and I covered the rest, even though my ex was supposed to be helping we never asked him for reimbursement). So dh and I got married January 1st of this year. DS lost his medicaid, we put him on my dh's insurance (which covers some, but not even close to all, of his therapy/medical bills). Since my ex was such an a$$ about this, I decided that I was done playing nice. He had been court ordered to pay 82% of all ds's uncovered medical bills. So as the bills started rolling in, I started sending them to ex to reimburse me for them. It's now the middle of November and he hasn't reimbursed me ANY of the bills. Not a single one. He owes me somewhere between $700-1000 right now in uncovered medical bills (I haven't looked at my records lately to add them up, it's kinda depressing, plus I haven't gotten the bill for ds's OT for September and October). So I got the court involved and they sent him a letter giving him 14 days to reimburse me for a portion of it (instead of the entire chunk of bills they are doing it in smaller chunks so this chunk is like $360 that he owes me). It's been more than 14 days, and I haven't seen a penny of it. I have no idea what happens now, I'm waiting to hear back from the court. It will either go in front of the Judge, where he'll get a chance to argue that he shouldn't have to pay these bills, or they'll just take it directly out of his paycheck and give it to me. Obviously I'm hoping for the latter!

 

But, as if this weren't bad enough, ex has now started telling me that I can't get ds's therapy for him. Since ex has joint legal custody he has a say in what therapy ds gets. DS has been in therapy since he was 17 months old and ex has NEVER been involved (ds is now 8 years old). Suddenly, since I'm asking him to reimburse the expenses (this is the first year ever that I've asked him to reimburse me his portion, I've always paid it for him and never asked him for help) he feels that ds doesn't need the therapy. So now ds isn't getting the therapy he needs because I legally can't do it without ex's permission. Fortunately we go to court next month and will be asking the Judge to either give me sole legal custody with the ability to decide what therapy ds needs or to appoint a mutual 3rd party (ds's therapist has volunteered to do it) to determine which therapy would be beneficial to ds. It's obvious ex has no interest in ds at all so I don't know why he doesn't just sign over his rights and let my dh adopt ds.


Steph, DH Jason (1-1-11), DS Owen (10-3-03) and DS Kai (10-13-11)

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Old 11-16-2011, 09:18 AM
 
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Wow, Steph. That sucks. I've seen stuff like this happen with the foster kids that we've had--one parent couldn't care less about the child's welfare but seems to go out of his way to make life miserable for both the child and the parent who cares. It's not a good situation. I'm sorry you're going through that. Hopefully the judge will see that what your ex is trying to do and make sure he can't get away with it. I'm so sorry.


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Old 11-16-2011, 09:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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If ex actually had an interest in ds, I wouldn't be so pissed off about him exercising his right to decide what therapy ds gets. But ex has NO interest at all. DS had his 3 year evaluation at school (children who are classified as special needs have to get a full evaluation every 3 years in the school district to see what progress they have made and to re-determine if they qualify for the special education program). So they just did the evaluation and we had a meeting Monday at school to discuss the results of it, determine if he was still eligible for special education and write his IEP for the next year (which determines what special services he will receive). I informed my ex of when this meeting would be so he could call into the school and participate by phone.... he chose not to. He hasn't (and won't) contacted me to see what the results are. He has NO IDEA what is written in ds's IEP. He has no idea what the evaluation showed. The 3 year evaluation is HUGELY important, the IEP is not far behind in terms of importance. And ex has no interest in these. But yet he thinks he should have a right to decide what therapy ds gets, when he has NO knowledge of ds? WTF?! (He spends 8 hours a month with ds (2 days for 4 hours each day), that's it and that's only been happening for the last 6 months).


Steph, DH Jason (1-1-11), DS Owen (10-3-03) and DS Kai (10-13-11)

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Old 11-16-2011, 10:06 AM
 
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Steph, while I can't help with the dirtbag ex or the mold problems, I am newly knowledgable about insurance issues. We make too much money for Medicaid, but each state has a disability based Medicaid program that is NOT income based. Corbin qualifies, so whatever our insurance doesnt cover, the state program (TEFRA) will.

You're so on top of everything that I'm sure you know this already (and maybe your DS doesn't qualify?) but I'm throwing it out there just in case. I was super stoked to find out about it and a bunch of other "bonus" features of the program (like them paying for diapers if Corbin isn't potty trained at 3 years old). They told me that if the state looks at your IFSP/IEP and says he's not disabled enough to qualify, you can request super expensive neurodevelopmental evals and the state will pay.

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Old 11-16-2011, 10:20 AM
 
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Oh Steph! That sounds horrible. I can't imagine the stress this is causing you.

 

Maeve let me sleep a solid 5 hours last night! Love it! Then the AM around 6 my oldest woke up and was really fussy. I was trying to calm her down but her crying woke the baby. DH did not respond well to this and totally started yelling at my oldest to be quiet and go back to sleep. This of course set her off even more! So I have 2 crying babies and my DH being an ass all before 7am. Great! He left for work early and didn't even say goodbye to any of us. Sometimes I just want to smack him! I really thought that the transition of having a new baby would be hardest on dd- nope, it's my DH. I always have thought I'd like 3 kids but I don't know if my marriage can handle it.

 

Wow, sorry to vent so much... I'm obviously still feeling pretty pissed off at him.

 

My 6 week appt is on Friday. I'm going to bring Maeve so I can weigh her. She hasn't been weighed since she was 12 days old. I'm so curious!


Sue, Mama to Fiona Aileen (2/1/09) and  Maeve Penelope (10/7/11) familybed2.gif cd.gif
 

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Old 11-16-2011, 01:12 PM
 
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Ahhhhhhhh, I finally have a minute to get on here and post! I've been reading along while nursing (thanks to the lovely Ipad my employers got me as a new mama gift) but haven't had my hands free to type in days.

 

What a lot of work being a mama is!! Seriously. It is so demanding. In every way. My mom left to go home to Seattle a few hours ago. I'm sad. She was a huge help with things. I'm a little nervous about doing everything on my own. DP will be over later, and I'm glad he is coming over just about every day, but he is scared to death of Landon, so not much help when it comes to Landon.

 

Landon seems to be doing better with breastfeeding. I seem to have more milk then I did, but still not a lot. He is down to getting just one 2 oz bottle a night.

 

Current issue I'm worried about, he hasn't pooped in 4 days greensad.gif My pediatrician isn't worried about it, but I sort of am. He has had the worst smelling gas all day today. Poor guy. I don't know what to do to help him out. Prior to 4 days ago he was pooping 3-4 times a day. He doesn't seem to be uncomfortable, just smelly.

 

I think one of my biggest struggles I'm having right now is my lack of "me" time. When I do have a free moment I never know how long he is going to stay asleep, and don't know what to do first. Eat, sleep, clean/organize the super messy bedroom (that is driving me insane!!!) shower, or just relax.

 

Well, someone is up and screaming.....off I go.


Chelsea, loving mama to Landon, born 11/3

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Old 11-16-2011, 01:18 PM
 
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Chelsea, not pooping in 4 days is fine. They can go a really long time! But just be prepared for the blowout when it does happen. My girl goes about every time she eats, and that is another thing entirely. I kind of wish I had a fortnighter!

 

I hate this day. Finally, my 3 year old is being great, but Iona is driving me up a wall. She was awake and crying most of the afternoon. She has gas, but I don't know what causes it. I just want to scream. She will finally fall asleep, but then wake up in 10 minutes. Hopefully, she'll stay asleep for a while now. I don't want to see her for another hour at least. greensad.gif

 

ETA: Also, I'm apparently such a glutton that I can't stick to my elimination diet. So probably doing myself in by way of dairy and chocolate.


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Old 11-16-2011, 03:12 PM
 
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So Eli passed his hearing screen just fine. I didn't do so well with it, though. DH went with me, but they wouldn't let him come back into the exam room. There was plenty of room, I don't get why... oh well. They told me it was going to me "earbuds"... It was these two stick-on plastic earphones with wires connected, and three monitors that had to stick on his forehead, his neck, and his chest with wires running out of all of them. He was so wired up to everything, and I had to lay him in the hospital nursery cart thing. One of the wires was laying over his face. The nurse kept telling me I could "have a seat" but I didn't want to sit in the chair across the room from him... Ugh. Not a fun experience for mama. It felt silly being so freaked out by something so routine but that's just being a mom, I guess.


Mom to Eli babyboy.gif 10/18/11 and loving wife to Derrin. heartbeat.gif 

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Old 11-16-2011, 03:47 PM
 
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just popping in to say hi

not pooping in 4 days- for a breastfed baby- not a big deal. Just when he does poop, WATCH OUT

Chelsea- I totally hear you on the "me time" issue. That was very hard for me with my first. Now I am more used to it, also, I have learned to take something more like "me moments"  I guess... when I can get them.

 

I am feeling pretty good. Still have a nasty cold that I can't shake and have had since a week or so before baby was born. UGH! SERIOUSLY! DH is working 7a-7p every day right now so thats a bummer. My 2.5yo DD has been the hardest to deal with lately, baby is pretty easy so far. She is not yet 3 weeks though!

 

Going to maybe let DS (just turned 7) try and give a bottle (pumped milk) to baby during bedtime tonight. He likes to have baby come lie in bed with him for a while, and he is very interested in caring for her. And I hope it lets me nurse the toddler and read to him all at once, and keeps her happy for a little while. Phew. Can't wait for DH to go back to regular hours, where he is home around 5. I have been handling bedtime alone every few days and that is a marathon. 3 kids and one tiiiiiiired mama.  I just try to outlast them, and eventually they do all go to sleep.

 

ALRIGHT dinnertime, gotta run.

 


dissertating mom to three

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Old 11-16-2011, 05:32 PM
 
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I can't wait for bf poops to start spacing out.  I don't like this multiple times a day business!  One of my older kids once went 17 days without pooping - he was never constipated or uncomfortable, things were just being used that efficiently by his body!  (But yes, be prepared for a blowout!)

 

Rosemary, I understand where you're coming from.  We've had a number of days like that over here, too.  For whatever reason, keeping Malcolm in the sling up against my chest on days like that really helps him sleep better... but by the end of the day I'm still exhausted and haven't gotten much of anything done.  H\

 


Trinket, I can't understand why they wouldn't let you be present for the hearing test.  I've only ever had them done when I had a baby in the hospital (my first 2), but they always let me come into the nursery, even, to be present when they did the test.  How frustrating.  I wouldn't like that one bit!

 

Emmaegbert, wow.  My DH works 12hr shifts, but only for half the week.  Every day would have me panicking!  I'm surprised that it sounds like you're handling it so nicely.  I like your idea for bottle given by your DS.  Sounds so sweet!  Honestly, I'm the sole person in charge of bedtime for 4 or 5 nights every single week, and it's my biggest weakness.  I loose my cool almost every time over the stupidest things.  I wish DH could be home every night for bedtime... it would sure make me feel like a less crappy mom.  But putting 3 kids to bed while juggling a newborn is far from the easiest thing in the world, despite having waaaaaay simplified our bedtime process.

 

AFM, had my 6wk PP checkup with my midwife today.  Well, 6wk + 6days, so almost 7, really.  I was a little surprised (both good and bad) that she didn't do any sort of perineum check.  The only time they ever checked me was the day I gave birth.  I don't feel like I *need* to be checked, but I went expecting it would happen.  Also pleasantly surprised that she gave me a complete copy, all bundled together, of my records.  Took me 4 births, but I finally have a copy of my records from one of them, lol!  It was interesting to read through them when I got home.  I liked that they kept a little timeline of my birth, including what I was doing when they first arrived, and when 3yo DS came in to see the baby and what he said, and what I ate at what time.  Length of labor on their chart:  1st stage 11:30pm-2am (2h 30 min), 2nd stage 2am-2:11am (11min), 3rd stage (placenta) 2:11am-2:49am (38min).  Sheesh, write it down like that and it looks lightning fast!  My piddly contractions from the time my water broke at 1am the night before until things picked up for real at 11:30pm was recorded as a latent phase and not counted for active labor.  Anyway, we weighed Malcolm, who, at just before 7 weeks, is up to 12lb 10oz (from 8lb 6oz).  She calculated that he basically gained just over 2oz every day from his last weight check (2 weeks) until now, when they typically want to see 0.75-1oz per day.  Way to eat, Malcolm!!  Didn't check length at all.  My weight is 202, which I was happy to see.  I was thinking my lack of any PP exercise + the evils of Halloween candy (and indulging too much in just about everything else) were making me start to gain weight again, but I've managed to go down 4lb in 5 weeks.


SAHM to Melinda (Oct '03), Jacob (Aug '05),  Alex (Apr '08), and baby.gif Malcolm (Sept 29, '11)

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Old 11-17-2011, 05:33 AM
 
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bottle from brother went great! (I posted a picture in the baby pics thread). I lost my cool only once during solo bedtime last night which is pretty good for me. DH will be off this schedule soon, thank goodness. It makes a HUGE difference having another adult around at that witching hour. Though I have to watch out- he is pretty grumpy then too!

 

I am so darn tired and this baby is really a good sleeper for a newborn... kudos to those of you functioning on so much less sleep. Don't know how you do it!!

 

My older 2 and their regressions are driving me slightly nuts. My 7yo peed in his bed last night. (Yes, the same one who is grown-up enough to give baby her first bottle!) He hasn't done that in forever. I feel like I am just surrounded in pee-soaked textiles... literally surrounded at all times by them... blah. I know it will eventually stop.


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Old 11-17-2011, 07:30 AM
 
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Reading these posts about feeding babies just caused me to have a let down.  (and Annika is due to nurse, too)

 

Getting ready to head out for her 1 month ped appt.  More later.


Teacher until birth of DS (7-27-08)blowkiss.gifand now DD (10-17-11)femalesling.GIF:, now SAHM, wife to my wonderful hard-working DH.   cd.gifnocirc.gifselectivevax.gif

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