Chat Thread: Jan 9 - Someone Starts a New One - Page 8 - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-28-2012, 07:34 PM
 
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I was interrupted in the middle of my posting. So let me add a few things I missed:

 

livacreature That's outrageous of your MIL. Incredibly rude.

 

pi The last night of weaning sounds so bittersweet. 5 years is a beautifully long run.

 

chelsea hope your night goes alright. I know how precarious sleep time can be, and if one thing goes off track  . . . 

 

starling happy birthday to your daughter!!! 

 

 

 

 

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Old 01-28-2012, 07:42 PM
 
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Facebook - I'd love to be friends with anyone who wants to add me. http://www.facebook.com/KatrinaAshley90 That's my URL thingy. I'm ok with the info that's visible so I don't mind linking it publicly. I'd love to have a Facebook group. I'm on there constantly. Add me add me!!

 

Facebook Group - FYI, if it makes anyone more comfortable, we can set the group to completely private, so that only the people in it can see the information--other people can't even see that it exists if they're not invited to it. My extended family has a group like that on Facebook where we can easily share private news.

 

liv - good golly you have to deal with some ignorant, obnoxious people. I might personally murder anyone who thought it was OK to send me PP pictures of clutter. My house is a disaster and it's embarrassing but that's the way and stay the heck away from it if you don't like it.

 

AFM - went to a baby shower today for a good friend. I gave her a sweater, a bib, and a hat that I knit for her boy. Someone else gave her a (used) copy of Baby Wise by Ezzo... I'm guessing most of you are familiar with him but if not, he's a nutcase who pushes parents to hyper-structure their babies--CIO, harsh parenting methods from a very young age. Leads to underweight, emotionally starved babies, no parent-child bonding, and mothers with lost milk supply and unnecessary stress. So I pulled her aside after the shower and told her that "I don't mean to be harsh, except I do, throw that Ezzo book away." Thank goodness she'd already heard bad things about it and I didn't have to explain why it was such an unhealthy system. The woman who gave her the book had left before gifts were opened or I might have had some words for her too. I'm not a conflict person but it steams me up when someone hands a naive first time mom propaganda like this that's going to threaten her relationship with her child from the get-go. grrrrrr...


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Old 01-29-2012, 07:36 AM
 
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More later, for now - this should take you to me on FB if you like!

https://www.facebook.com/people/Beth-Pothier/830330104

 


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Old 01-29-2012, 07:51 AM
 
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cluttered/messy house: when I am working again out of the home (hint, hint, livacreature) I would NOT HESITATE to hire help with my house. Before we moved from california, I did hire a professional organizer and that lady was super helpful! We also had a weekly cleaner coming. it made a HUGE difference and since I was working full time, it meant that more of my home time was spent with my children, not cleaning... AND, my house was much cleaner!

 

for those with older kids who love dolls- check this tutorial out- repurposed infant clothes for dolls! I know my little one is quickly outgrowing the 0-3m clothes (though I've already given tons away, I wish I'd saved a couple of stretch suits just to do this project!). A friend from my old DDC linked this... http://obsessivelystitching.blogspot.com/2009/06/baby-clothes-to-doll-clothes-tutorial.html

 

speaking of my old DDC, we have a "secret" group on FB and its fun. But won't work if people don't do FB. Its really the main reason I go on FB, actually.

 

errands with kids- takes a lot longer, and I plan it for quiet times of day (like no grocery shopping at 5PM). I rarely have fewer than 2 with me. My biggest advice is just take your time. Rushing with kids is torture.

 

We are slowly recovering from a stomach bug. Gross. Baby seems to be ok through it all, thank goodness.


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Old 01-29-2012, 07:51 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~pi View Post

TV: We avoid tv until about age 2 here. That's one of our things. (not_telling, it's brain development.)

 

YES, we did this too. And I find that stories read online hold his attention just as well. So we do more "books on tape" (my age! I really mean the internet, but don't know how to say it) than video.

 

AP:  He was raised on a commune, and (as I jokingly told Amy May earlier this week) where other women have MILs who are encouraging them to feed cereal in a bottle at 2 weeks, mine was telling me to rub walnut leaves on my baby so that he would never get leukemia.

 

HAHAHAHAH! What? Oh, sides are hurting.

 

Speaking of AP, I weaned my older DS tonight. We had set tonight as our last time nursing ever -- he chose the night, I pushed him to choose. I got a little weepy (my voice broke as I was singing to him), but then was fine, and now we're done. I pumped a bottle for DS2 so that I could stay with DS1 until he fell asleep. I wish he had stopped of his own accord last year when I thought he was going to, but since he didn't, I think this was a decent ending. It was time. Wow, that was a long run.

 

so bittersweet, pi, isn't it? Thanks for sharing.


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Katico View Post

AFM:  I have always thought of myself as a very "go and do with kid in tow" kind of mama....DD1 has always been a very easy baby/kid and I took her everywhere to do everything.  Popped her in the sling and went.  I'm having a lot of trouble getting out and doing things with both kids though...I find it really intimidating.  Claire is an easy baby too, and DD1 is still easy....but when you put the two together it just feels so overwhelming sometimes.

 

It is way harder for me, also. Not a diaper change issue, but a feeding issue here. DD is kind of particular about how and where she'll eat, and needs generally to be majorly soothed before she will nurse. So it's hard in public. Lots of people coming up and asking if she's ok, if she's hungry, if she's tired, did I bring a bottle, blah blah.

 

I was so mad at DH last night - DD1 woke up at 4am and started losing it in that overtired, half asleep, irrational toddler way.  And she woke up the baby.  And he like...couldn't cope with it.  He was all annoyed and bordering on angry.  And I'm like...dude....you're not HERE enough to lose your patience with them.  I get that it's 4am, but suck it up - YOU don't have to do anything but roll over while I deal with it.  

 

Yes, this is totally understandable. Vent away.


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by livacreature View Post

Housecleaning: How do mamas find time for this?  It may be harder because I'm working, but I have hours at home during the day.  DD does not nap, I need to get things done and she just isn't happy not being held.  A lot of it is stuff I can't do while wearing her.  Help!!!!  Things are starting to get out of hand and I have MIL coming in a few months.  She takes pictures of piles of clutter in my house and shares them with relatives AND sends me copies.  (Seriously, the people who came three days after birth sent me an album with several pictures of piles of paper/pizza boxes/dirty clothes piles...WTF IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE!?!?!?!)  Usually I'm not embarrassed of my house's condition, but right now I am.  It just seems like the easiest thing to let slide.  I have to work, I have to make dinner, I have to take care of the baby.  Frankly, I'd rather play with the baby then clean.

Um, what? What?

As for getting housework done, my dh does the "cleaning" (dusting, vacuuming, mopping) every other week on Saturday. I do the kitchen and the bathrooms. Then try to maintain during the week, which is hard, but mainly we just try to pick up and keep on top of the dishes and laundry, and that is it. If you are having trouble with dirty things, have a trash can in every room (and recycling) and just toss stuff in. At least it won't be a dirty mess. And if there are dishes in every room, have a dish pan in the rooms you eat in and just put dirty dishes in it. These are my ideas. Then you can run the dish pan to the sink when you get a chance, but at least there will be a spot for them.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by starling&diesel View Post

 

AFM:  My daughter's third birthday party is tomorrow!  We throw a big party / fundraiser for the Basics for Babies program through the food bank here, so it's going to be big!  Lots of prep today for that, including making a Gruffalo cake!  I'll post pictures when I can.  It turned out great!

Happy Birthday!
 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trinket90 View Post

AFM - went to a baby shower today for a good friend. I gave her a sweater, a bib, and a hat that I knit for her boy. Someone else gave her a (used) copy of Baby Wise by Ezzo... I'm guessing most of you are familiar with him but if not, he's a nutcase who pushes parents to hyper-structure their babies--CIO, harsh parenting methods from a very young age. Leads to underweight, emotionally starved babies, no parent-child bonding, and mothers with lost milk supply and unnecessary stress. So I pulled her aside after the shower and told her that "I don't mean to be harsh, except I do, throw that Ezzo book away." Thank goodness she'd already heard bad things about it and I didn't have to explain why it was such an unhealthy system. The woman who gave her the book had left before gifts were opened or I might have had some words for her too. I'm not a conflict person but it steams me up when someone hands a naive first time mom propaganda like this that's going to threaten her relationship with her child from the get-go. grrrrrr...


Oh, that book. Yup, toss!

 


Making a March 9th sandwich with a Halloween filling.
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Old 01-29-2012, 08:14 AM
 
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Quote:
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Um, what? What?

As for getting housework done, my dh does the "cleaning" (dusting, vacuuming, mopping) every other week on Saturday. I do the kitchen and the bathrooms. Then try to maintain during the week, which is hard, but mainly we just try to pick up and keep on top of the dishes and laundry, and that is it. If you are having trouble with dirty things, have a trash can in every room (and recycling) and just toss stuff in. At least it won't be a dirty mess. And if there are dishes in every room, have a dish pan in the rooms you eat in and just put dirty dishes in it. These are my ideas. Then you can run the dish pan to the sink when you get a chance, but at least there will be a spot for them.
 

 


I LOVE THE DISH PAN IDEA!  We are migrate eaters, we eat in the basement, we eat in the bedroom, we eat in the living room.  This would also work with bottles.  BRILLIANT!  You seriously made my morning.  Tomorrow I'm going to try to do a deep clean of the house and my butt will be at the store first thing to buy more dish pans (and some new laundry baskets...one basket just isn't cutting it).  Dishes are a big issue for us, we don't have a dish washer and they tend to build up,

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ESME!

 

Trinket: It makes me sad that despite all these mainstream recommendations on not to schedule babies, etc. there is still such a market for it.  I've yet to hear a nurse, doctor, lactation consultant anywhere tell me anything but feed on demand.  I don't know what her body is doing, it isn't my job to tell her she is hungry or not. 

 


 

 


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Old 01-29-2012, 08:58 AM
 
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Keeping clean:  love the dishpan idea too!  Nothing drives me crazier that the assorted glasses etc upstairs - they sit there because everytime I'm going to the stairs I either have two kids or laundry in tow and no free hands!    I definitely think having enough/appropriate containers helps a LOT.  I just bought even more laundry baskets - I have 2 in our bedroom, 1 in DD1's room, 1 for towels, 1 for kitchen and 1 for kids clothing downstairs.  I am trying to do loads by type (i.e. all of my clothes together, all of DH's pants together, all of the girls' clothes, etc) and am finding it so much easier when each type has it's own basket in the place we need it.  

 

Also, yes to extra garbage cans.  and lots of pretty baskets.  I finally got an extra basket for all my burp cloths after struggling to force them to fit in the basket with my diapers.  Makes a huge difference.  

 

I feel like I am constantly cleaning and nothing is ever clean, so I can commiserate, Liva.  I'm going to try a kind of revolving chore schedule for myself again - not for the daily stuff - laundry, dishes, everyday clean up, but for the things I never get done and only notice when it's a desperate situation - i.e. sweeping the bedrooms and stairs, dusting the banisters and radiators, washing the windows.  None of them take very long to do but they get neglected.  The house is always tidy and the dishes, laundry, kitchen etc are under control but it's not very CLEAN around the corners, yknow?  It's an old house and we have a cat so the dust can be really bad.  So I'm going to try setting reminders to do them every week or two weeks or month or whatever, in my iphone.

 

I've taken some inspiration from this blog: http://ourmothersdaughters.blogspot.com/  Warning - Catholic family, whose ideas on child discipline I don't agree with, BUT - she has lots of articles (way down on the right hand side) on how she kept house with a very large family, and it's inspiring.  It is all very common sense and down to earth and makes me feel like if she could do it I can too, haha

 

Social Group is gonna be necessary for yes, our monologues, haha

 

MIL/Pictures:OUTRAGEOUS!  I think this wins for craziest MIL story so far!!!

 

Gruffalo cake = awesome!  Happy Birthday little girl!!

 

Emma: love the doll clothes idea!!!

 

 


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Old 01-29-2012, 11:43 AM
 
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Ok - the dishpan idea is exactly what we need for dh's office!!! Thank you!

 

I am so wanting some alone time today. Feeling kind of bitter about it in fact. Dd really is unsatisfied with dh so when I leave them together when I return they are both unhappy - doesn't really make me feel so relaxed if I try to disappear for 15 minutes.

 

Ds' imaginary world has totally exploded recently. He gets into these elaborate imaginary times. It's fascinating to listen to but also leaves us a little confused at times if we haven't been paying close enough attention. Right now he is searching for "john" in the central vac holes in the wall. Too darn cute.


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Old 01-29-2012, 01:21 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katico View PostWarning - Catholic family, whose ideas on child discipline I don't agree with, BUT - she has lots of articles (way down on the right hand side) on how she kept house with a very large family, and it's inspiring.  It is all very common sense and down to earth and makes me feel like if she could do it I can too, haha

 

fwiw, I have a Catholic family, too. Should I come with a warning label? lol.gif


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Old 01-29-2012, 02:05 PM
 
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Quote:

Originally Posted by RosemaryS-F View Post

fwiw, I have a Catholic family, too. Should I come with a warning label? lol.gif

 

Oh gosh, Rosemary, that's not what I meant at all!!!  She posts a lot about their religious practices and that was me trying to be sensitive to the fact that might not be everyone's cup of tea as I was sending you all off to her blog...I could definitely have said it better.  I'm so sorry if I offended guilty.gif


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Old 01-29-2012, 03:12 PM
 
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katico: I could have written your post about your DH in the middle of the night. Last night Maeve woke up crying (so very rare) and it woke DD1 up. DH lost his sh!t over it and I just yelled at him to "get over yourself, you have 2 kids." I can't deal with him having a tantrum on top of it. I really feel like his attitude when the kids are upset is "poor me, I have to listen to my kids cry or tantrum". My attitude is, "poor kids, why are you upset and how can I help you feel better?" Not sure if its just him or what but it really pisses me off!

 

Liv: Your MIL is crazy! Maybe she is friends with Steph's MIL!

 

Group: I am with Starling on the thread in babies and then toddlers. In fact we were in the Feb '09 DDC together so we have done that together and it works well. Or the social club. I'd rather keep it on MDC then on FB.

 

Getting out of the house: I'm ready for less layers and less effort! Hard to get 2 kids ready to go out and about when it is so cold (single digits to negative temps). Spring can't come fast enough!

 

 


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Old 01-29-2012, 04:16 PM
 
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Quote:
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Quote:

 

Oh gosh, Rosemary, that's not what I meant at all!!!  She posts a lot about their religious practices and that was me trying to be sensitive to the fact that might not be everyone's cup of tea as I was sending you all off to her blog...I could definitely have said it better.  I'm so sorry if I offended guilty.gif


I know. wink1.gif

 

 

 


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Old 01-29-2012, 04:28 PM
 
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I'm mortified bag.gif So sorry!


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Old 01-29-2012, 04:40 PM
 
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Here's the Gruffalo cake! 

DSC_0003.JPG


dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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Old 01-29-2012, 05:00 PM
 
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^ so great! I love it!

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Old 01-29-2012, 05:14 PM
 
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The cake is fabulous & so is your dd's expression!


Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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Old 01-29-2012, 05:19 PM
 
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great cake! Love it!!!

 

I would prefer a private group. If we could do a social group private then yeah but if not then a private fb group. I am in one for my SHARE group and it works well. A couple of members have a made up name that they used to open their account and use it just for the purpose of that group and don't use fb at all otherwise. Also, for long monologues, rants, etc a doc can be opened and attached. I could post lots of pics because it is private unlike this forum. So a private group would be my preference regardless of where we put it.

 

Katico- pls don't be mortified. communication via type is so hard... we all know that isn't what you meant.

 

getting out- I think it was around kid 3 that i just refused to do errands with anyone but hte little one. Just not worth it to me. I have been known to go to wal mart at midnight. I don't have to anymore as dh has a VERY flexible schedule and my older kids are in school or pre-school a few mornings a week so I get my errands done then or send dh.  Getting them out to museums and fun stuff is more manageble but still challenging, akin to hurding cats. lol

 

AFU- Saphira slept through the night last night and in her swing!!! I have never ever had a child give me more than a few hours at a time. It was amazing. she slept form 10:15 to 7:45 (I got from 10:45 to about 6;15 but it was still awesome). When dd1 woke me up I flew out of bed so fast.Dh jumped up and said what's wrong. I told him the baby had slept all night and was still in the swing. We were both sure she was dead. Uggg whe was snoring away and doing just fine. Scared teh crap out of me.

 

She is having a major potty pause right now and I am washing so many diapers. She is still going on the potty too but it isn't her preference. So annoying.

 

We went skiing yesterday and I decided to leave her in teh day care. She did great! I just went in ever few hours to nurse her. Never had a kid that would let me do that either.

 

Found a tooth on the top that just cut so that makes 1 on top and 1 on bottom and another on teh bottom that is almost out. CRAZY. They just cut through the skin adn then stop so she doesn't have full teeth or anything.

 

Just when I think I know what to expect my kid throws me a curve ball. she is so different than the others in so many ways.

She is cooing and smiling (no real laughs yet) and rolling from tummy to back. so much fun.

 

A women at target said how old is she... I told her three months and she said oh it gets better. I said what do you mean this is the best my 3 yr old covered the bedroom in paint and glitter this morning. She said oh I meant tthe sleep. weird.

 

 


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Old 01-29-2012, 05:48 PM
 
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Aw, Katico, no biggie! Truly.

Starling, did you make that cake???? amazing!

nicole, how can you tell the tooth is going to cut? what does it look like?


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Old 01-29-2012, 06:16 PM
 
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I did make it! I found a tutorial online, thank goodness. I'm impressed that it actually looks like the Gruffalo and it tasted great, especially for a gluten-free cake. Can't wait to see what she requests for next year. My friend's kid asked for an elevator cake! And she made one!

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Old 01-29-2012, 07:54 PM
 
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Rosemary- first you see the white nub then it gets somewhat irritated and there is a bright red/purplish bump on top. It starts to feel harder and harder. She has runnier than normal poops. fussy as can be and then bam the redness goes away and there is a sharp white dot on the outside of hte gums. Typically it continues to move up. With saphira her first one popped through and then stayed put. We will see about these other 2.

 

Starling- an elevator cake? I would like to see that.


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Old 01-29-2012, 08:07 PM
 
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Nicole, Iona has the white hard bumps on the canines and the molar. Looks like also possibly the bottom fronts. Ugh! She's chewing, and has the runny poo. this has been going ON AND ON.


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Old 01-30-2012, 06:54 AM
 
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it can go on and on for sure. my oldest did it for about 4 months before anything actually popped through. it typically happens within a few weeks of the irritated bright red/ purpleish bump that appears on top. Saphira was a lot less crabby when the first one finally cut through.

 

pi- what a nice run. Sounds bittersweet. My dd1 weaning is scheduled april 26th. She will be 3 yrs and 4 months. A big weaning party will be held and then on the 27th she will go to Disney Land with my dad. Then when she returns NO MORE NANA's. Worked with all the others so hope it goes off without a hitch. She is excited about disney but not really ready to wean. I was ready a while ago.


nicole wild.gif,  mom to 3 boys here on earth jumpers.gif 9, 7 and 4.5 and 2 girl's fly-by-nursing2.gif2.5 and 10/16/11. Always remembering my babies in heaven:  Sam (9/7/05) at 12.5 wks  angel1.gif, Morgan (2/13/06) at 6 wks angel1.gif , Emeric angel2.gif (8/9/10 at 17 wks) and Pepper angel1.gif (11/26/10) at 8wks. 

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Old 01-30-2012, 10:59 AM
 
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Starling: That cake is awesome.  Your DD looks like she has some serious spunk.

 

Teething: No signed here, but holy cow, I didn't realize it was so involved and it was such a process.  poor little people!  Hoping she is like me and doesn't sprout anything until about a year!  Does it usually impact sleep much?  Do they feed more or less?  I missed this chapter in books, apparently. lol


Social working mommy to babygirl.gif 10/10/11, three cats, and a dog.

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Old 01-30-2012, 11:55 AM
 
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Liv: my DD1 got her first teeth right as she turned 4 months. She wasn't overly fussy but some of the other ones did bother her and her sleep a bit. I'm not sure why some were some much harder for her then others but that was definitely the case. She also tested her new teeth on me almost every time they came in. Yowsers did that hurt! Especially since I would be all relaxed nursing her - then bamm! She'd bite down. I'm shuddering a little remembering it! Every kid is different so things may be harder or easier for your little one. Maeve is teething now. She's not super fussy but a drooly mess and is gnawing on anything she can get to her mouth. Dh's fingers are her preference!

 

Pi~ What a nice run indeed! How is your son doing now that a few days have passed? I'm thinking of weaning my DD1 soon. She will be 3 in a couple of days. She nurses first thing in the morning and right as she falls asleep now. Some days she does skip those. This weekend she skipped 3 of her normal nursing sessions in a row! I think I'll gently try to nudge her in that direction. I always figured I'd wean her around 3 so well see what the next few months do for us.

 

Another huge snowstorm has hit. Getting lots and lots of snow around here!


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Old 01-30-2012, 03:40 PM
 
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Saphira had her hearing screen today. Everything looks good. The audiologist said it is common for kids with lots of older siblings to not respond to noise as they are so used to so much noise. tee hee. makes since.

 

I really did not like the audiologist. She chastised me for not having the test done sooner and said she still needs the other test (the one where she has to be asleep) to check past the coclia. I asked her if she was at risk and she said oh it is not very likely that she has issues since this test is good BUT it is a state law you have to have it done. She said not to feed her for a while and keep someone in the back seat with her on the way there to keep her awake and make sure she is pissed that way she will nurse well and fall asleep (ummm I don't think so). If she doesn't sleep then they can just sedate her and do the test (ummm NOT). I talked to dh and I think we are going to skip it. She will report us (to whom i'm not sure) if we don't get it done. I am assuming there is just a paper we can sign. This IS MY child right?

Since the hearing seems fine we are going to possibly call early intervention and see if there are any issues there (she just doesn't respond, has trouble making eye contact, etc.) I assume it is sensory issues (like my 3 older kids) so it won't hurt to get on the radar now.

 


nicole wild.gif,  mom to 3 boys here on earth jumpers.gif 9, 7 and 4.5 and 2 girl's fly-by-nursing2.gif2.5 and 10/16/11. Always remembering my babies in heaven:  Sam (9/7/05) at 12.5 wks  angel1.gif, Morgan (2/13/06) at 6 wks angel1.gif , Emeric angel2.gif (8/9/10 at 17 wks) and Pepper angel1.gif (11/26/10) at 8wks. 

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Old 01-30-2012, 06:47 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katico View Post

 

I was so mad at DH last night - DD1 woke up at 4am and started losing it in that overtired, half asleep, irrational toddler way.  And she woke up the baby.  And he like...couldn't cope with it.  He was all annoyed and bordering on angry.  And I'm like...dude....you're not HERE enough to lose your patience with them.  I get that it's 4am, but suck it up - YOU don't have to do anything but roll over while I deal with it.  


 

 

same exact thing happened here the other night-- and the 2yo was getting over a long sickness, and I had been up vomiting with the same sickness... anyway I refused to nurse her and she rolled around and cried and complained and DH started yelling at her! I was so mad at him, like THIS IS NOT HELPING. Eventually she accepted that I wasn't going to nurse her and went to sleep. And I guess eventually DH accepted that she was a toddler and he also went back to sleep. I swear.

 

potty pause- totally. still catching lots but many more wet diapers. what gives? I don't know. Still catching almost all poop so that is awesome.

 

liva I felt like I might have typed my other response re getting housecleaning help wrong (I was in a hurry)... your MIL is an insane and horrible person. You should just do whatever works for you. If your house is not unhealthy and it works for you, then fine. But for me, I really, really could tell when I had some help and it made a huge difference. I don't have it now (can't afford it, and I don't work for income, so I really can't prioritize it). But I literally fantasize about it. It was so great. Some friends I know just have someone who comes like once a month and "deep cleans", others a maid 2x a week for all the laundry and cleaning, my parents have someone once a week who does floors, bathrooms, kitchen... there are many arrangements.

 


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Old 01-30-2012, 06:49 PM
 
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oh and baby has such busy hands these days! She ripped a tissue... she pulls big sister's hair... funny! 3 months on Saturday and I can so tell. She is just changing so fast.


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