Anyone nervous about sharing the news? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 03-12-2011, 07:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I know this sounds so infantile, but I am so terrified of telling my parents I am pregnant. It hasn't been long since my mother said to me "You guys aren't planning on having any more, are you?" In the past she has said she will welcome any and all grandchildren, and I know this is true, but there is this part of me that is just terrified of telling her. My ds is quite spirited and still a handful at 5, almost 6. I was with my dad yesterday (divorced parents) and I couldn't even tell him, and I can usually tell him nearly anything because I don't care as much as I do with my mom. I've tried to tell my sister a few times on skype, either through chat or actually talking on skype, and have come up dry there as well - she is 8 years younger than me and didn't have the best response to my last pregnancy, and I just don't want to hear anything negative. I am already emotional enough, and part of me feels like I can become more attached to this baby once I let my family know about it. So why can't I just tell them? I haven't even talked to my mom since I got the BFP because I feel like I would have to tell her, but don't know how. Sigh.


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#2 of 11 Old 03-12-2011, 08:59 AM
 
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 oh Sommer I totally know how you feel! and I hate that you are feeling this way it can be so suffocating, and you should be celebrating at an amazing time like this, not worrying about what others think, but it is hard isnt it!??

 when my hubby and I were preg with our first my whole family was up in a roar about it, mind you we were young, and all that, but it didnt take them long to embrace it, then number 2 came along very shortly after ( planned ) and they were just thrilled, but Iam not sure what it was with baby 3, that everyone just thought they needed to have their opinions about it....they knew before hand we were planning on another and they just couldnt believe we would actually plan another child, lol its so funny how family assumes they have some sort of say over this hey!? they have no reason to have any opinions in the negetive, my hubby has always had a good job we own a home, blah blah, like why are they upset!!??? they arent raising our children. so, now were planned preggos with number 4, and Iam not sure what they are going to think, I think they will just role with it this time, my youngest will be 3 this summer, and they have asked a million times before if were still planning on having another and we always say yes, the reaction has been in the range of, wow you guys are nuts to well mid aswell round it out to 4! lol, Iam sure there will be a sour one in the bunch... although I think they think its been 3 years that it may not happen, lol so Iam curious to see what they are going to say! although I have come to a place where  I realy dont care what they think in that regard, sure its always nice to have family back you up, but I mean its not their decision! they do not make other decisions in our marriage why would I let them control the number of kids I have!?  and really all the other times, as soon as the other babies came a long they were just head over heels in love with them, and am sure it will be the same this time for you and me. sorry for such a long post, I just wanted to tell you not to worry, its your life and try to be happy, this baby is a blessing to you and will be to them aswell. enjoy this precious time,  try ( I know its hard ) to not worry about what they are going to think. maybe not tell them for a while, share this special time with you and your hubby with out anyone elses opinions, really theres no rule saying you have to go out and tell your family about it right away. My hubby and I this time will be keeping it a secret as long as we can, :) at least to 12 weeks, just to make sure all is well, mainly before we tell the kids, they will be so excited, its going to be a long 5-6 weeks! 

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#3 of 11 Old 03-12-2011, 09:54 AM
 
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I am totally feeling that way too. I told my dad right away, and he was happy (im not in the most "planned" of situations) but I know telling my mom is going to be something that ends up with me in tears, and its going to be a wholly negative situation.. when I just want to be allowed to be happy.

 

Anyone got any tips on softening the blow to a mother who has never been supportive in the slightest? I wanna use the whole "my life my choice" thing.. but the whole idea of telling her, or his parents makes me just.. antsy.

 

Sommer, I feel your frustration! *hugs*

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#4 of 11 Old 03-14-2011, 06:29 AM
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OP, I was thinking about this as I visited my mom over the weekend. Didn't tell her, just not ready yet.

 

With our first family did not take it well. We were only 23 so that was a factor.

DH's UAV mother literally said this when he called her...first words out of her mouth..

"Oh at least you're married.." Thanks %#^$

 

My mom's GF's response when we told them, "this is what you get when you don't use birth control."....WTF, how does she even know what we use/don't use we never talk about it!

 

So yeah, not the greatest reception. Now that we are living with MIL, we are going to hold off as long as we can until we move out (sometime this summer) unless people notice me getting big, we won't lie about it. I am a little older, a little wiser though and a lot less interested in people's opinions on my life thanks..

 

Also we are doing a HB (I think) so that is going to SERIOUSLY freak out family out. I am anticipating a major meltdown by my mother and just huge disapproval from every single person in the family. They are all really into trusting MDs. So yeah we have lots of reasons to not tell. I don't even want to yet because I know it will just be the beginning of a total PITA period of time.

 

 

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#5 of 11 Old 03-14-2011, 08:53 AM
 
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I haven't really told many people yet because its still early. Our first was conceived when we had just turned 20, in college, and had only been dating two months, so I am anticipating a better response this time lol. Actually now that I think about it this will be the first baby born in wedlock this generation on my moms side.

 

I don't know when to tell ds because he LOVES babies and I am betting he will tell any and everyone he sees that he is getting a new baby.


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#6 of 11 Old 03-14-2011, 10:33 AM
 
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I am totally nervous. We are a young couple, had our first at almost 18/almost 21, we'll be 21/24 when this baby arrives. We've been engaged for over a year now but haven't married yet. It's going to be somewhat of a big deal. My mom knows, and is supportive, but my father will FREAK, I don't have a good relationship with DH's parents so not looking forward to that, and my extended family will likely be snobbish. Fun, fun.

I am only five weeks so I have time to figure out how to handle these situations... any ideas?


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#7 of 11 Old 03-14-2011, 02:07 PM
 
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I am nervous about telling my extended family.  I told my mom and dad already and a couple of friends.  They have all been really excited.  I am nervous about telling my grandparents right now because they don't like my partner much.  The reason is stupid.  They think he is bad for me because he has long hair and tattoos.  Stupid right?  Yep.  I had tattoos, piercings, shaved head, dyed hair etc since I was a teenager, it has nothing to do with who my partner is... sigh.  We hae been together for 8 years and this was very much planned but I have a feeling they will assume it isn't.  My cousin whom I am really close with doesn't like him because we broke up for a few months last summer and I stayed with her and of course talked to her all about the breakup.  I think she is just nervous it won't work out between us.  I hope that she will just have faith in the fact that we are back together for good and things haven't been more wonderful. 

 

I will probably wait until the 1st trimester is over to tell the rest anyway but I am still nervous on how to deal with their responces.  I am a really emotional person and I don't want to lose it!


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#8 of 11 Old 03-15-2011, 07:05 AM
 
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Only my best friend knows, I just tested, like an hour ago. My dh is right now the stay at home parent and mr. i want as many as you'll have, since he's been the one at home, has said no more. This wasn't on purpose, but I"m thrilled and I know he will fall in love with this child too, but am super nervous about telling him because it'll be a shock at first. my mother has been saying since baby number two that we don't need any more. this is baby number five, I'm about to turn 42. My family is super unsupportive and I think I'm waiting out the first trimester to tell them...or work. Thankfully I have a very supportive boss and coworkers and by my due date, will have eight weeks paid time off racked up if I can manage not to take any morning sickness days!


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#9 of 11 Old 03-15-2011, 10:07 AM
 
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I am nervous about telling my coworkers. The father is my bf of 2 months, and is a manager where I work, so it is def against the rules for us to date. I'm also not in a hurry for everyone at work to be all up in our business.

not to freak anyone out, but my bf's mom did not believe us when we told her and asked for proof. She was serious.

Pretty much everyone else was excited and happy for me!

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#10 of 11 Old 03-19-2011, 09:46 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KeanusMomma View Post

I am nervous about telling my coworkers. The father is my bf of 2 months, and is a manager where I work, so it is def against the rules for us to date. I'm also not in a hurry for everyone at work to be all up in our business.

not to freak anyone out, but my bf's mom did not believe us when we told her and asked for proof. She was serious.

Pretty much everyone else was excited and happy for me!


Proof?!  You should have puked on her.  LOL...
 

 

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#11 of 11 Old 03-25-2011, 08:45 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KeanusMomma View Post

I am nervous about telling my coworkers. The father is my bf of 2 months, and is a manager where I work, so it is def against the rules for us to date. I'm also not in a hurry for everyone at work to be all up in our business.

not to freak anyone out, but my bf's mom did not believe us when we told her and asked for proof. She was serious.

Pretty much everyone else was excited and happy for me!


(disclaimer, I am lurking in here and don't have my BFP yet!)

 

If I am PG, the father is my BF of 3 1/2 months, and I just recently got divorced from my older 2's father. So, it will be hard for me to tell people because they'll likely think it's waaaay too early, especially coming out of a nasty divorce and he and I not dating for very long. But, if I am PG, it is totally planned, and we're sooo much in love its unreal <3 It doesn't matter to us that the timing is early, we haven't been together "long enough" and that we're not married yet. It won't be hard for me to tell my family, it will be hardest to tell people that we go to school with, lol.

 


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