What are your holiday plans with a new LO? - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-12-2011, 08:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've been thinking about this, because I'm due on Thanksgiving. We live 900 miles from family, which complicates things in some ways and makes them easier in others. There's no way I can fly home alone with three small kids, so that decision is made for us. But it likely means everyone will want to come here, at Christmas, to see the baby, which kind of sucks, too. My mom will probably be here for the birth, so she'll get Thanksgiving, but what about Christmas? My in-laws are great but.....higher maintenance, I guess. (We don't eat meat and my FIL won't eat anything I cook, for example.) And they have teenagers. We live in a 2 bedroom apartment - that would be 9 people here. NINE. One of them 3 weeks old. I've avoided mentioning it to family yet because it's stressing me out to even think about considering what will happen.

 

Does anyone have any idea what their holiday plans are yet?

 

(Also, what does a 3 week old baby want for Christmas??? I have every intention of finishing my Christmas shopping in early November, or it will never get done...)


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Old 07-12-2011, 10:16 PM
 
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 We will probably have thanksgiving here like last year, we moved in during thanksgiving and i still cooked a meal for us and our kids and fil and our friend and his wife.  I don't know what we will do for christmas, i'm hoping my aunt does it again like last year so  we would only have a 5-10min drive to her house.

 

 


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Old 07-12-2011, 10:37 PM
 
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DDCC.  I'm due the first week of December so this has been on my mind too.  If DH agrees, I think we are going to have an immediate family only Christmas and invite extended family down for the day (only the day) in January to celebrate Christmas.  Unless I am feeling really fantastic which I doubt will happen.  I felt like I had been hit by a bus for months after DS was born and I don't intend to bend over backwards this time to make everyone and their brother happy at the expense of my own sanity. 

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Old 07-13-2011, 06:40 AM
 
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We're fortunate that all our family lives right here in town so we don't have to travel for the holidays. We do have LOTS of different dinners and parties to attend though, so I'm kind of dreading that with a newborn. Although it does give me a good excuse to take the easier side dishes to make for the parties. 

 

As for Christmas gifts, we're keeping it simple for the baby. She'll only be around 6 or 7 weeks old, so she really doesn't care what she gets. I'm thinking I'll get all my shopping done before she's born, aside from her. I'd like to see what we need once she's here and pick up some of that to put under the Christmas tree. We're borrowing an infant car seat from a friend for the first couple of months, so we were thinking about getting her convertible seat and putting it under the tree for Christmas. 


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Old 07-13-2011, 08:06 AM
 
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Since I'm due 3 days before Thanksgiving, we're opting out of that holiday this year.  My MIL is going to come stay with us for about a month around the time the baby is due, but other than that, no family.  One of my sisters lives close, she'll come visit that baby, but I doubt we'll do a meal together. 

 

We still have no idea what the Christmas plans are..   My older sister (who lives in another state) is due on Christmas Eve, so my mother is going to be with her during that time.  My inlaws came here last year (from another state), so I don't really expect them to come again.   If they want to come, that would be fine.  They're nice people and easy to get along with.  We might just end up having a low-key Christmas with no extended family this year. 

 

I don't have any plans for getting the new baby a Christmas present.  I'm sure that my other family members will buy her stuff, which will be plenty.  I hardly buy my kids presents as it is, they have a ton of things already and get enough presents from the extended fam.


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Old 07-13-2011, 09:55 AM
 
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We only thought as far as Thanksgiving- which we opted out of organizing/bringing anything too.  Both of our families live in the same town as us, and since Im due 2 days after Thanksgiving...I guess it really depends on what happens.  If Im still pregnant we will make our rounds, if I have just had a baby we told our families they are more than welcome to stop by for a short minute and bring us food, haha.   My dad actually lives next door...so having someone bring us dinner wont be so hard!

 

I didn't give a thought to Christmas, but just realized I might not make Black Friday shopping :(  Im a huge money saver, and its usually how I use a minimal amount of money to buy gifts for everyone.  The baby will probably get something small, and practical...because its a baby...and it wont care, but its siblings will.


 
 
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Old 07-13-2011, 01:33 PM
 
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Ugh is all I have to say at this point as family drama is ensuing.  Why do I always have babies around the winter holidays?!


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Old 07-13-2011, 05:18 PM
 
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I'm calling Thanksgiving off this year, whether baby has arrived at that point or not.


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Old 07-13-2011, 05:51 PM
 
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Thanksgiving is a no-go this year. lol I will not cook a full dinner while heavily pregnant, nor will I travel a long distance to get to family while that pregnant if I'm still pregnant, and I will do nothing but dote over my baby and children after baby comes. It'll just be me and the kids and DP so it's not like we'll have to host anyone at all, thank goodness! Now Christmas on the other hand, we'll be staying at home, but I'm sure I'll be up for cooking a feast by then. lol

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Old 07-13-2011, 07:50 PM
 
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I am due November 4th so I will have had the baby prior to Thanksgiving (well, I guess there are no guarantees in life but at least a good likelihood). Our families live about 5 hours away by car.  Once I arrive I won't have to do a thing but be doted on but I'm wondering what is the earliest I could/ would want to drive with a newborn, and what to expect?  (except that I'm sure it will take twice as long to get there).

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Old 07-13-2011, 08:14 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ratchet View Post

I am due November 4th so I will have had the baby prior to Thanksgiving (well, I guess there are no guarantees in life but at least a good likelihood). Our families live about 5 hours away by car.  Once I arrive I won't have to do a thing but be doted on but I'm wondering what is the earliest I could/ would want to drive with a newborn, and what to expect?  (except that I'm sure it will take twice as long to get there).



When my daughter was 2 weeks old, I visited my mom and sisters and the drive was 6 hours (almost 8 with stopping to breastfeed, etc). You can expect a longer trip because of having to feed the baby, and the baby most likely screaming cuz it knows you're there but not able to see you or touch you.

 

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Old 07-14-2011, 01:56 AM
 
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Normally we fly across country to spend Thanksgiving with friends, but this year we'll stay put and let just a few of my closest friends come to us (maybe, if I feel like it) to help out after the baby comes.

 

For Christmas my family might visit & stay in a hotel, and partner's mom might visit and stay with us a little... not sure. It seems so far away! We have a small apartment with one bathroom so I am not wild about having any guests who are not super easy to share space with.


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Old 07-14-2011, 02:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Exactly this! It's awkward enough with a ton of people here, but with a brand new baby I can see myself getting irritated fast. My mom was great with helping around the house with the last baby, and my MIL probably would be too, but my FIL gets on my nerves in the best of circumstances.
 

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 We have a small apartment with one bathroom so I am not wild about having any guests who are not super easy to share space with.


 


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Old 07-14-2011, 06:33 AM
 
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Ratchet.... yes many more stops will have to happen for nursing, diaper changing, and unfortunately the likely screaming.  Little babies and car seats are often not a happy combination.  You can try riding in the back with the baby so that you can comfort him/her better, but without being able to hold them or nurse them while in the seat it's often futile until they finally fall asleep.  Though I know there are some larger breasted mamas that manage to nurse while the baby is still buckled safely into the car seat.  lol.gif


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Old 07-14-2011, 08:20 AM
 
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No ma'am I really didnt have any plans.Now thinking about it, I was to try to have Thanksgiving early because I don't think I will feel like cooking on turkey day. I am due on the 14 and turkey day is very important to my kids and hubby. X-mas I think I will be fine. It's always just us.

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Old 07-15-2011, 07:39 AM
 
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Holidays for me are usually the women (incl me) cooking for our families (the dozen or so the live close by) and we gather at either my parents' or my aunt's because no one lets me host in my apartment (they have big fancy houses). So I will probably just skip out on doing any cooking or anything for Thanksgiving, but come for the food smile.gif. I can always lie down with baby if I need to, have my mom hold her while I shower, etc.

For Christmas we usually exchange gifts, but depending on how much work I manage to get by then, I will most likely announce around halloween that I won't be doing gifts. That way, everyone can either not get me anything, or get me something but know they're not getting anything in return.

My 7yo will get tons of gifts from his family other than me, and maybe I can just handmake something special for him. The baby, like pps said, is not going to know or care one way or the other, but prob get gifts from lots of other relatives. I'll prob do the same with her, and just handmake her something special (that she needs anyway)

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Old 07-19-2011, 09:27 PM
 
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I am bummed that the holidays will be so screwy this year because I love them and my son will be almost 3, so it's the first year he really gets what's going on.

 

I am due the 15th.  We have my parents 20 minutes away and ILs about 3 hours away.  Thanksgiving will be easy.  Maybe go over to my parents briefly just to eat, maybe have my ILs come down another day that weekend to visit.  I think everyone will be cool with just seeing how it goes, when the baby actually arrives, etc. 

 

I fear Christmas will be trickier.  MIL loves to have everyone at her house for holidays.  They will probably want us there but I flat out refuse.  The drive, boobs constantly out in front of uncomfortable ILs, all four of us in one bedroom.  No thanks.  This is probably our last baby and so I will never have the opportunity to put my foot down like this again, and darn it I am going to take it.

 

I was planning to leave the guest room up until January so ILs can come here if they want, but I am rethinking that.  With my son I was not bothered at all by having relatives in my house to visit in the weeks after.  Now we have an older child and an established routine it will have more of an impact.  Postpartum I like to spend every possible moment resting and bonding with the baby.  That will be harder this time since I have to balance newborn and toddler.  Throwing house guests into the mix might seriously drive me crazy.  Hmm.

 

ETA: Baby will be getting gifts that she needs anyway since she could care less.  I will buy an ornament for her first Christmas.  Everything else will be stuff I have bought or will buy anyway.  I'm thinking stuff her stocking with onesies just so there's something in there.  Wrap up a few blankets or outfits so big brother can "help" her open them.  Since she is # 2 there is virtually nothing she needs that we don't already have.  Can I put nipple cream in her stocking, cause it's stuff like that I need to buy?

 

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Old 07-20-2011, 06:56 AM
 
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I'm having a deployed wives thanksgiving dinner at our house.. I'm due the sixteenth but usually go to 42 weeks so we'll see how that goes! Either I'll have a newborn or be cooking myself into labor, lol.

 

I tend to be more worried about Christmas because if DH is home, a big maybe, the whole family will want to see him. We aren't going anywhere and they can come here and get a hotel room.. The trick will be explaining that to everyone.

 

I hate the pressure put on people for the holidays. We generally stay home to avoid it all, lol.

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Old 07-20-2011, 08:26 AM
 
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Originally Posted by dashley111 View Post

We only thought as far as Thanksgiving- which we opted out of organizing/bringing anything too.  Both of our families live in the same town as us, and since Im due 2 days after Thanksgiving...I guess it really depends on what happens.  If Im still pregnant we will make our rounds, if I have just had a baby we told our families they are more than welcome to stop by for a short minute and bring us food, haha.   My dad actually lives next door...so having someone bring us dinner wont be so hard!

 

I didn't give a thought to Christmas, but just realized I might not make Black Friday shopping :(  Im a huge money saver, and its usually how I use a minimal amount of money to buy gifts for everyone.  The baby will probably get something small, and practical...because its a baby...and it wont care, but its siblings will.

 

Black Friday shopping is just as good online.  :)  Most retailers put their sale prices online that correspond to when their store open, etc.  The exceptions are places like Best Buy, where you go wait in line for a ticket to buy something, KWIM? 

 

But I've been able to purchase just about everything that I wanted from Black Friday sales online from the warmth of my own home.  It still requires the insane hours and its not quite as fun as standing at JoAnn's, WalMart or Target at 5 a.m. with hundreds of other crazy people.... but it gets the job done.

 

 

 

 

 

As for me...

I'm due on Thanksgiving too.  So my plans that day are to... either eat at a local friends house (pending an invitation, lol) or plan to have Chinese food?  I'm not planning on cooking that big of a dinner on my due date.  But then again, I do LOVE Thanksgiving Dinner, so I may end up cooking anyway for our family.  We will not have any guests, and we will not travel.

 

I'm not expecting baby at that time however. I'm just sort of expecting that he'll come the first week of December at 41+ weeks.

 

My mom and stepdad are planning on staying here for the entire month of December and renting a furnished condo. There is a possibility that my in laws will come sometime in December (probably not right on Christmas though because of extended grandparents that can't travel, etc).  My mom mentioned something about my aunt and uncle coming to stay with them for Christmas.

 

I'm not planning travel or house guests for any Holidays probably for the entire year of 2012. I suppose I'm a little grumpy like that.  People are more than welcome to visit, but we do not have a guest room at this house (or at least we won't after next month because we are rearranging rooms unrelated to baby).  So those visiting will have to find their own accommodations.

 

I'm expecting that I will do more of a normal Christmas.  I do have older kids (6 & 4).  So we will celebrate Christmas in family, food and gifts.  Nothing entirely extravagant, but that's not how we roll usually anyway.  We may buy the baby something or allow our big kids to choose him a small toy as a gift. We will probably open his college savings fund in December too and contribute to that, like we for our kids every year for Christmas & Birthdays.


 

 


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Old 07-20-2011, 09:44 AM
 
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Well, DS's 6th birthday is on Thanksgiving this year, and I've already promised him an Angry Birds cake (like this one, that you can actually play Angry Birds with: http://youtu.be/-hwVRzaQNkA), so I'm begging this baby to stay put until after that!!!  I'm actually not technically due until December 2nd, but I went 10 days early with DS and 3 weeks early with surrobabe, so I'm betting this one will be coming in late November (DS's due date was December 5th!).  We will most likely be alone for Thanksgiving this year, so we will probably just focus on the birthday.

 

My mom is coming either for or right after the birth (not sure if she'll make it on time) and then my step-dad will join us about a week later and we'll celebrate an early Christmas.  In-laws live 3,000 miles away, so we will not be seeing them this holiday season (hopefully we'll have the money to go visit them in late March/April, when Toronto is no longer unbearable).  DH, DS, DD (how exciting to type that!!!) and I will have a nice, quiet family Christmas, just the 4 of us. :)  

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Old 07-20-2011, 11:45 AM
 
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I've stressed about this too.  We live 2700 miles from family, and obviously will not fly.  We also decided not to host anybody for any holiday (i'm due 17th).  We have a 2yo DS and we were overwhelmed by visitors after his birth which ended up being so hard on us, so we are limiting visitors.  I'm not playing "pass the baby" this time, and I'm not hosting people for hours on end- holiday or no holiday.  It may seem bratty but we just want to babymoon for a while- like a few weeks.  Then we'll allow visitors.  We told DH's family that they could come in January.  Also- it's cold and flu season! UGH!  This especially worries me since they'll be flying in- so many germs in that recirculated airplane air.  My mom will likely be ten hours away in California (we're in portland) so she'll drive up at some point but it probably won't be as early or often as she would like.  I'm over it.  I am protecting the newborn period as much as I can this time.  Last time was way too much.

 

We don't eat meat either, and live very different lifestyles so having family around to begin with is stressful and tense.  

So anyway, our holidays will be just us, or perhaps a few low key celebrations with our wonderful neighbors.  


 

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I've been thinking about this, because I'm due on Thanksgiving. We live 900 miles from family, which complicates things in some ways and makes them easier in others. There's no way I can fly home alone with three small kids, so that decision is made for us. But it likely means everyone will want to come here, at Christmas, to see the baby, which kind of sucks, too. My mom will probably be here for the birth, so she'll get Thanksgiving, but what about Christmas? My in-laws are great but.....higher maintenance, I guess. (We don't eat meat and my FIL won't eat anything I cook, for example.) And they have teenagers. We live in a 2 bedroom apartment - that would be 9 people here. NINE. One of them 3 weeks old. I've avoided mentioning it to family yet because it's stressing me out to even think about considering what will happen.

 

Does anyone have any idea what their holiday plans are yet?

 

(Also, what does a 3 week old baby want for Christmas??? I have every intention of finishing my Christmas shopping in early November, or it will never get done...)



 

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Old 07-21-2011, 07:46 AM
 
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jbk21 - This is my first time having a baby and I just started another thread asking for people to share their stories/thoughts/opinions on allowing visitors during labor and/or after the baby is born. Your comment about wanting to "babymoon" is exactly the idea I'm toying with right now. I'm really afraid that since this is our first baby, and first grandchild on hubby's side (second on mine), our families are going to be overbearing and overstep where my desire for privacy is concerned. I know my DH could probably care less either way about if people visit the baby immediately when she arrives, but I have very strong feelings against it right now... I just worry my wishes won't be respected and our families (or maybe just my own mother) will place a severe guilt trip on me! If it were up to me, I think I'd possibly not even tell anyone we're in labor and just call them one day saying, "Hey, we had the baby a few days ago." LOL But that would NOT fly... Our families are about a 1-hour drive away, so at least they're not popping in unexpectedly nor do we talk to them every day, but they're close enough to still want to drive up and meet the baby ASAP. I guess I just have this bad feeling that I can't shake, that if I don't have a tight hold over my birthing process and have control over savoring my precious time with baby after she arrives, then I'll be heartbroken and regretful. But without having gone through this before, I have no idea what will be enough private time for us and how things will go in general. I hope if I express these concerns to our families - maybe they'll surprise me and say, "We respect whatever you want to do!" and don't tell me what they were hoping I'd do (and let guilt trip ensue)...


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Old 07-21-2011, 09:24 AM
 
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My family sounds a lot like yours, birdhappy85. I was a little worried with my first daughter that things would be crazy. I've seen it happen when people have babies in my family, the night of the birth the hospital room is just packed full of visitors and kids running around crazy. It's insane. I was very pleasantly surprised that my family was so respectful when we had the baby. We did have a steady stream of visitors, but never too many at one time. People were very good about calling ahead of time making sure we weren't too crowded already and asking us when a good time would be.

 

And definitely take any help you can get while it's being offered, is my advice. You can still have your babymoon even if your ILs or parents are there, just put them to work! My MIL came to our house while I was in the hospital and cleaned the whole house for us and stocked our fridge full of fresh fruits and veggies and made a big meal of spaghetti and salad and left if for us to have when we got home. She brought us dinner that she made at home and brought over several times those first couple of weeks. It was a good excuse for her and FIL to come visit the baby and took the load off of us when it came to meals, I thought it was a wonderful compromise! Plus, after those first few weeks, those offers for help will really dwindle and go away, so take advantage while they're willing!


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Old 07-21-2011, 11:16 AM
 
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I think it depends on what your family is like.  I wish my family was as helpful as Mal85's!  Alas, both sets of parents are more of the "let me hold the baby while you get some rest/ clean up/ cook dinner" types.  I'll share more about my experience in your new thread, but it's certainly up to you to decide whether or not to allow people whom you think may be less-than-helpful to share in the days and weeks post-partum.  My philosophy is, it doesn't matter if you THINK you are helping because if I don't view it as help, it's not helpful.  Like holding hte baby while I sleep- I hate that idea, I am the type to totally need to be near my baby 24/7 those first few weeks.  They may not be in my womb anymore but that transition to them being their own person is one that I like to protect and just as much as they want to be near their mamas, I as a mama want to be near them.  So someone holding my baby while "I sleep" equals me getting no sleep because I'm nervous about where my baby is.  ya know?

 

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Originally Posted by Mal85 View Post

My family sounds a lot like yours, birdhappy85. I was a little worried with my first daughter that things would be crazy. I've seen it happen when people have babies in my family, the night of the birth the hospital room is just packed full of visitors and kids running around crazy. It's insane. I was very pleasantly surprised that my family was so respectful when we had the baby. We did have a steady stream of visitors, but never too many at one time. People were very good about calling ahead of time making sure we weren't too crowded already and asking us when a good time would be.

 

And definitely take any help you can get while it's being offered, is my advice. You can still have your babymoon even if your ILs or parents are there, just put them to work! My MIL came to our house while I was in the hospital and cleaned the whole house for us and stocked our fridge full of fresh fruits and veggies and made a big meal of spaghetti and salad and left if for us to have when we got home. She brought us dinner that she made at home and brought over several times those first couple of weeks. It was a good excuse for her and FIL to come visit the baby and took the load off of us when it came to meals, I thought it was a wonderful compromise! Plus, after those first few weeks, those offers for help will really dwindle and go away, so take advantage while they're willing!



 

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