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#1 of 38 Old 07-17-2011, 11:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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birdhappy - I got inspired by your last post and decided to start this thread!

 

I, too, want to know: how long did you ladies cosleep?  What age were your babies when they began consistently sleeping in their own cribs/beds?

 

DH has been wonderful about trusting me to make certain decisions.  He was very "traditional"-minded going into this pregnancy, but more than that he is very open-minded, and so has agreed easily when I told him I'd researched and decided I didn't want to circ/ want to cosleep/ want to BF for an extended period of time/ etc.  But he can't get the worry out of his mind that one of us will "squish" the baby.  I reassure him over and over again that unless we're on heavy drugs or liquor, that just isn't going to happen (and no, neither one of us does drugs, and I don't drink even when I'm not pregnant)... but do any of you ladies have any articles/resources that could help him feel more reassured that one of us isn't going to accidentally roll over onto and suffocate our baby?  He, too, loves the idea of cosleeping, but he brings up this fear no matter how often I reassure him.

 

Thanks ladies!


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#2 of 38 Old 07-17-2011, 12:16 PM
 
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Here's my post from the other thread so it's all in one place:

 

 

Quote:
We tried having my first sleep in a co-sleeper from birth, but she was having nothing to do with it.  She ended up in our bed quickly or we wouldn't get any sleep.  We also experimented in the opposite direction- trying out a crib and a pack 'n play in the room and in another room.  Totally unsuccessful.  Dd bedshared with dh and I for about 8 months.  Then we got her a bed that we put up against our bed so she had her own sleeping surface.  She slept like that until she was 2.5 years old.  She nightweaned at 2 years and fully weaned at 28 months. We were moving and naturally transitioned her to her own room when we moved into the new  house.  Worked like a charm.  No issues at all.

 

Ds also started in the co-sleeper... unsuccessfully.  And since I had the previous experience of dd, I just immediately brought him into our bed.  We kept that up until he was about 9 months and then got him his own bed up against ours.  That also did not work well  for him or me.  So he came back into our bed and dh went into the guest room b/c there just wasn't enough room in our bed for rolling dh and ds.  Around 14 months old, I got pg again and the nightweaning process began.  As soon as he was solidly nightweaned (and now weaned during the day), I wanted dh to start taking over night comforting duties.  Ds is 18 months now.  We got ds' bed back out and tried again.  Success! Now ds sleeps on his own surface and dh comforts him back to sleep if he is unsettled.  We are moving  again- in just two weeks- and I have high hopes of transitioning him to his sister's room or his own room (depending on what works better) very soon.  I would be fine waiting longer if we weren't expecting another baby, but I will be thrilled to have him happily transitioned in the next few months if that's possible (so just shy of 2 years).

 

I just want to throw out there, though, that the success of sleep arrangements depends so greatly on all the people involved.  In other words, what works for one baby or one couple may be very different than what works for another.  I feel strongly that the trick to low stress sleeping is to go with the flow and remain flexible.  You might have a baby that sleeps so much better on his/her own sleep surface or in his/her own room.  You might have a baby that needs constant nursing, constant contact for years.  You never know!  But please stay strong in what works for you and ignore all the negative advice in either direction.  Good sleep is vital to good parenting, find what works best (...short of CIO, which I feel has detrimental physical and emotional effects, but that's a whole other thread too!).

 

Also there are many great books and websites you can read about the benefits as well as the precautions recommended for safe co-sleeping.  Here are a few:

 

*The Baby Book, The Baby Sleep Book (Sears)

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/sids-latest-research-how-sleeping-your-baby-safe

*The Continuum Concept (Liedloff)

*API: http://www.attachmentparenting.org/principles/night.php

*LLL: http://www.llli.org/faq/cosleep.html

*Sleeping with Your Baby (McKenna)

http://www.naturalchild.org/james_mckenna/sleeping_safe.html

*Attached at the Heart (Nicholson/Parker of API)

*The Family Bed (Thevenin)

*Good Nights (Gordon)

*The No Cry Sleep Solution (Pantley)

http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/0071381392.php?nid=169&isbn=0071381392

*Mothering Magazine: http://www.mothering.com/parenting/real-men-sleep-with-their-kids

http://www.mothering.com/parenting/sleep-environment-safety-checklist

Webinar  on co-sleeping: http://www.mothering.com/webinars/cosleeping-webinar

http://mothering.com/parenting/family-bed-safety

They have special editions about sleep as well that are no longer available on line like How the Stats Really Stack Up: Cosleeping Is Twice As Safe

 


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#3 of 38 Old 07-17-2011, 12:30 PM
 
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We went into it with the thought that however everyone got the best sleep was how we would do it. We had a bassinet set up next to the bed and I tried to lay her down in it the first couple of weeks. She was honestly a great sleeper and would have slept anywhere I put her. I, however, could not sleep with her away from me. I worried about her all night and ended up just bringing her to bed with me permanently. 

 

Once she was past the noob stage, cosleeping still just made sense. I didn't have to wake all the way up to nurse her, she barely had to wake up to nurse, and DH slept through all of it. We all slept great that way. The first 6 months or so, she didn't like being laid down at night. Weird, because she slept on her own for naps but refused to do it at night. So, I'd put her to sleep and just hold her while hanging out watching tv or whatever with DH, sometimes wearing her while she slept if we had friends over. Then, I'd just take her to bed with me. It worked for the time.

 

I got tired of it and tried laying her down in her crib after she fell asleep when she was about 6-7 months old. By then, she was okay with it and would stay there 2-3 hours before waking up to nurse. Those stretches gradually got longer over the next 6-8 months. She went from waking at around 10-10:30, to waking around midnight. That lasted for a while before she started going until around 3 in the morning. She woke around 3 for several months until I woke up at 6 one morning when she was between 13 and 14 months old and she hadn't woke up all night. She's pretty much been that way ever since.

 

She's in a toddler bed now and will occasionally wake up in the middle of the night and come get in bed with us, but she doesn't sleep well there anymore and neither do we. She kicks and rolls around in her sleep. Once she's gone back to sleep, we take her back to her bed.

 

My DH also worried about rolling over on her, but you'd be surprised how aware you are of the fact that there's a baby in the bed with you. We both slept well, but we knew she was there. If it was a weekend and DH had had a few beers that night, I just put myself in the middle of the bed and had her sleep on the other side of me. I don't think he was ever drunk enough to have rolled over on her, but it put our minds at ease so that's what we did.


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#4 of 38 Old 07-17-2011, 03:59 PM
 
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Here is what I said on the other post..

 

Each child is different.  Some never really like co-sleeping and others need to sleep near another person for a long time.  My DH has always needed to be sleeping with another person.  When he was young (his mom did co-sleep with him for a while as an infant) he would sneak into bed with one of his brothers every night..

 

My DS co-slept with me in my bed until he was 2, then I got him a toddler bed next to mine.  He was probably ready to go into his own room at this age, but I was in a small apartment where it wasn't an option.  He ended up going to his own room at 4 very easily and never gets in bed with us at night.

 

My DD is 23mo and currently sleeps in a toddler bed next to ours.  She started sleeping in her own bed (on her own) around 18mo.  I still don't think she's ready to go to her own room though, she seeks me out nearly every night for comfort.


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#5 of 38 Old 07-17-2011, 04:04 PM
 
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This is how I often end this argument with people..  Does your DH often fall out of bed at night while sleeping?  No?  Then he will NOT roll on the baby.  The same mechanism that keeps a person from flopping off the bed will keep your baby safe.  ;)

 

Remember that babies die in cribs too, people seem to forget this when talking about the dangers of co-sleeping.  I would personally be more worried about my baby dying alone in a crib than me rolling on him/her. 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsKatie View Post

  But he can't get the worry out of his mind that one of us will "squish" the baby.  I reassure him over and over again that unless we're on heavy drugs or liquor, that just isn't going to happen (and no, neither one of us does drugs, and I don't drink even when I'm not pregnant)... but do any of you ladies have any articles/resources that could help him feel more reassured that one of us isn't going to accidentally roll over onto and suffocate our baby?  He, too, loves the idea of cosleeping, but he brings up this fear no matter how often I reassure him.



 


Abra, Married to George, Mother to DS 12/03 & DD1 08/09 & DD2 12/11.  We are planning our next adventure to South America in April 2014!
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#6 of 38 Old 07-17-2011, 04:22 PM
 
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My husband totally rolled over on our baby.  Luckily I was awake, and had my arm tucked under her head.  And he never falls out of bed.  And no, he wasn't under the influence of alcohol or drugs, he is just a heavy sleeper.  I just moved baby to the other side of me, and she slept there every night.  When I nursed her at night on the other side I made sure to put my arm under her and a pillow between her and my husband. 

 

Abra is totally dead on about every kid having their preference!

 

My son slept in bed with me until he was 3.  When me and my now-husband started spending the night together it made him uncomfortable to have a child in bed with us- which I understood.  We slowly transitioned him into his own room- doing things like staying next to his bed reading to him until he fell asleep, rubbing his back.  I wont say it went smooth, but I do think it was a good choice.  He would for sure still be sleeping with me at night!

 

My daughter hated co-sleeping, and at about 8 months she let me know it!  We were not ready for her to leave our bed, but she even went as far as verbally expressing the word "crib".  The first night I put her in her crib was her first night she slept through the night.  Not a single tear was shed.  She LOVED being in her own bed, in another room...I hated her being so far away!

 

I love cosleeping with new babies :)  And if you do to, you wont care what other people say.

 

 


 
 
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#7 of 38 Old 07-17-2011, 05:36 PM
 
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My husband was extremely skeptical about co-sleeping as well, and he didn't really end up reading any of the research I sent his way. I am also considered overweight, though I don't think I really make a big dent in our firmish bed, but to be safe, I started DD in the crib that we sidecarred to the bed. So she slept on the firm crib mattress which was never disturbed by me shifting my weight, and I was between her and DH. At about 6 months I was comfortable in nursing side-lying in bed (I have very big smothery boobs) and we wanted the crib as somewhere for her to nap during the day (which never happened) so she moved in between us. 

 

DD has always NEEDED to be touched to sleep - I wore her in the Ergo for naps until she was 14 months because otherwise she didn't nap. It was a long time before she would sleep in the bed by herself at night (in that stretch between her bedtime and mine.) DH and I would take turns watching TV shows on our netbook with headphones while she nestled against our leg. She also needed a  dark and quiet room from about 4 months. This was extremely inconvenient for us for a long time (I think we finally started to be able to slip away when she was about 10 or 11 months) but for us it was far preferable to the alternative, which was hours and hours of banshee screaming. And we tried everything (gentle) that we could think of, and read all the books. Some kids just need to cosleep, sometimes to this extreme. I'm sure this is a rare occurrence though, and I totally agree that every child/parent combo will need a different arrangement. This is a truth I hold to dearly when i think of nighttime parenting this upcoming baby!

 

And though we made many trials of nightweaning, it wasn't until she was ready to move into her own bed at 25 months that she finally stopped nursing at night. This move was fully instigated by her, and we had a couple of weeks of transition, where she would come into our bed in the night every 3rd or 4th night, but now (at 27 months) she consistently stays in her own bed for the whole night, and quietly slips into our bed at 7am for 15 minutes of cuddling. It was an extremely easy transition, and I fully credit it both to waiting until she was ready to make the change, but also to respecting her sleep needs as a baby and young toddler. Not that I suggest that it's wise to go to our extremes, but I am happy to look back and know that we made the right choice for us, as difficult as it was at the time.

 

Oh, and I do still nurse her to sleep in her own bed (she has a full mattress on the floor in her bedroom) and bedtime is still a difficult process, taking anywhere from 45 mins to 2 hrs (after our 45 minute bedtime routine.) 

 

I'm just hoping this baby has an easier time with sleep!


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#8 of 38 Old 07-18-2011, 08:27 AM
 
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I haven't read all the replies, but here is my contribution.  We intended to start with baby in a basket beside the bed, but we very quickly moved her into bed (by about day 4) because she would never sleep deeply enough to be put down in the basket.  So then I researched co-sleeping, did a lot of soul-searching, and ended up deciding to stick with it.  That process took about 6 months, and along the way we tried the open-sided cot beside the bed arrangement, but it just didn't work for us.  I presume people that use co-sleepers have to slide the baby across after it has fallen asleep, and that would just not have worked for our dd.

 

We nightweaned dd when she was just over 2, and soon after that she started sleeping on a mattress on the floor beside the bed.  She is now almost 3.  Most nights she sleeps on her own until about 5am when she climbs in between my partner and me and goes back to sleep.

 

We never had any incidents of rolling over the baby but that's not to say it doesn't happen.  The research says that breastfeeding women have an awareness of their babies and tend to adopt a protective position facing them, but non-breastfeeding mothers and fathers do not adopt this position.  As far as safety is concerned, I am content that we have a safe sleeping environment and I plan to co-sleep with the baby that I am expecting in November.  But I have worked with a lot of breastfeeding mothers and I know co-sleeping is not acceptable or practical for all families, so I'm not evangelical about it.  It is a difficult thing to research on the web as so much of the information is biased towards one viewpoint or the other.  I think an important point that many parents miss is that it is safer to fall asleep with a baby in a bed than on a sofa or in a chair, so trying to force yourself to stay awake for night feeds by sitting in a chair is not necessarily a good idea.  Many incidents of SIDS that are associated with co-sleeping actually occur in sofas and chairs, or when the parents are drunk/drugged or otherwise not in a fit state to respond to their babies.

 

I would really recommend reading this UNICEF leaflet: http://www.unicef.org.uk/Documents/Baby_Friendly/Leaflets/3/sharingbedleaflet.pdf  UNICEF are very breastfeeding and co-sleeping friendly and the information provided is evidence-based and unbiased.  When I give antenatal breastfeeding classes, we simply go through this leaflet and leave the parents to make an informed decision about co-sleeping.  Best of luck in your own research.

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#9 of 38 Old 07-18-2011, 08:28 AM
 
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Not sure why the link did not work, but here it is again:

 

http://www.unicef.org.uk/Documents/Baby_Friendly/Leaflets/3/sharingbedleaflet.pdf

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#10 of 38 Old 07-18-2011, 08:33 AM
 
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Alright, fair enough.  Do you think that he would have woken up though once the baby started squirming underneath him?  Our DD has always slept between me and her co-sleeper (instead of between my dh and I).   If she slept between us I would have a hard time keeping the covers off of her head, which made me paranoid.  I do like having a co-sleeper for this reason, but I've always been totally flexible about using it or not. 
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by dashley111 View Post

My husband totally rolled over on our baby.  Luckily I was awake, and had my arm tucked under her head.  And he never falls out of bed.  And no, he wasn't under the influence of alcohol or drugs, he is just a heavy sleeper.  I just moved baby to the other side of me, and she slept there every night.  When I nursed her at night on the other side I made sure to put my arm under her and a pillow between her and my husband. 

 

Abra is totally dead on about every kid having their preference!

 

My son slept in bed with me until he was 3.  When me and my now-husband started spending the night together it made him uncomfortable to have a child in bed with us- which I understood.  We slowly transitioned him into his own room- doing things like staying next to his bed reading to him until he fell asleep, rubbing his back.  I wont say it went smooth, but I do think it was a good choice.  He would for sure still be sleeping with me at night!

 

My daughter hated co-sleeping, and at about 8 months she let me know it!  We were not ready for her to leave our bed, but she even went as far as verbally expressing the word "crib".  The first night I put her in her crib was her first night she slept through the night.  Not a single tear was shed.  She LOVED being in her own bed, in another room...I hated her being so far away!

 

I love cosleeping with new babies :)  And if you do to, you wont care what other people say.

 

 



 


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#11 of 38 Old 07-18-2011, 11:30 AM
 
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My first started in a bassinett in our room, and very briefly moved into her crib across the hall. She very quickly changed her mind and made it apparent that she would not be sleeping alone. I fought for weeks trying to nurse her to sleep and lay her down, and it was miserable for all of us. At 3 months or so, we put her in our bed and never looked back. We had her crib sidecarred for a while, and then she had a small bed on the floor next to ours for a bit, and she slept in her own room for a few weeks a while back, but at 4 yrs old she is still in our room. (She is my high-needs baby; there was some very early separation at the hospital and I think that's why she still has some separation anxiety.)

 

By the time DS was born, we no longer even owned a crib or bassinett. At first, DH slept on the sofa, DD next to me, and DS on my chest. It worked out well because when DS woke and needed a diaper change, I just stepped out to the living room and DH was right there to help if I needed it. (Which I did, at first - I had horrible tearing and could barely get around.) Once my mom went home, we moved the full size bed from DD's room/guest room into the master. We have a queen size bed and a full size, both on the floor, right up next to each other. Megabed! It's seriously like 10 feet wide, it's awesome. For the most part, the kids and I sleep in the queen bed and DH next to us in the full, but often DS rolls right up next to DH in the other bed. I'd love to have the two kids together in the full bed, still in our room, before the baby comes, but we'll see. The new one always sleeps on my chest, well away from siblings, for a few months, so I think I can make it work if the other two are still right with me.

 

Honestly, I'm of the belief that baby should sleep wherever everyone gets the most sleep. For us, that's always been with us. I do believe that if you have a strict timeline for when baby should be out of your bed, that maybe co-sleeping isn't for you. I think all the "my son slept with us and we NEVER got him out of our bed" stories are from people who tried to push it well before their child was ready. Just like anything, I think weaning from co-sleeping should be on the child's terms. (What I'm saying is if you think I'm nuts for having 3 kids in my bed, one of them nearly school-age, maybe co-sleeping isn't for you. :) And that's ok, too. Whatever works for you. )


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#12 of 38 Old 07-18-2011, 08:02 PM
 
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Great idea to start this thread!  When our midwife discussed co-sleeping with us the first time around, she tried to comfort my husband's fears about rolling onto the baby by bringing up the rolling out of bed point.  Thing was, he has rolled out of bed a couple of times!  That stumped the midwife, but we safely coslept with our son (and it's been a few years since hubby rolled out of bed).  I was super aware and protective of the baby (usually with my arm around him), and my husband also became very aware of him in bed.  

 

It was such a good decision for us.  I see how every baby is different though.  We thought our son was a mellow, easy-going baby, but now we joke that he actually has been kind of high needs, we have just been able to meet his needs.  He definitely did not want to sleep anywhere away from us, and night nursed a ton.  We side-carred the crib next to our bed from the newborn stage (not that he would even sleep that far away from me, but it gave us a bit of extra room to stretch out) and only moved it to put up the 4th side when he was crawling off the bed before we came to bed (10 months?).  I think we put the crib in his room after he turned 1, but he only slept in there from when he first went down for the night for about 3 hours.  Then he would come to sleep with us.  We didn't push him to sleep in his room, but it was safest to put him down there before we went to bed and did want him to get used to the idea in a positive way.  He never fought the crib and would even ask to go there when he was tired.  He always knew he was welcome in our bed.  Oh, I guess I should explain that we do not put our mattress on the floor like most co-sleeping families.  We bought a really nice organic/non-toxic mattress when I was pregnant and live in a climate where it would get moldy if it was put on the floor so it's on a slatted platform about 18" off the ground.  

 

When baby was about 18 months, we night weaned and he would sometimes sleep for longer stretches (like until 2am) in his crib, but not consistently.  Then about 6 weeks ago (I guess he was about 22 months) he started randomly sleeping in his room until 4am and a few times even longer!  My mom bought him a toddler bed that we find ridiculous (kidkraft firetruck bed) but he loves and he's mostly transitioned to sleeping through the night.  He'll still have the occasional night where he comes to us at midnight, but usually it's after 5:30am.

 

They grow up so fast, we just knew that we should cuddle him as much as he'd let us.  At the same time, cosleeping with our toddler is not as cuddly as the baby stage- one of us often gets kicked in the face!  And finding ourselves in bed alone is kind of special now smile.gif.  For us the important thing was not to force anything; our children are always welcome in our bed. We'll definitely offer to cosleep with baby #2 as much as he/she wants and I agree with all the previous mamas that mention however everyone gets the most sleep is the best arrangement for your family!   


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#13 of 38 Old 07-18-2011, 08:14 PM
 
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I only co-slept with my daughter. I did that for 7 months until I got tired of waking up twice a night to feed her cuz I would wake her up by moving in the bed. She transitioned really easily from our bed to her crib. So easily and slept so soundly that it scared me the next morning at 8:30 and I ran in her room to make sure she was breathing. lol She never woke up once, and slept all night from then on unless she was sick.

 

I wouldn't worry about squishing the baby. lol I always kept my daughter close, but made sure I slept on my stomach so I wouldn't roll over. I always had a sense of where she was when I was sleeping, so I never had to worry about her getting smothered or hurt.

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#14 of 38 Old 07-19-2011, 03:07 AM
 
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DDCC here... 

 

I had my first baby a month ago, and looked into co-sleeping while I was pregnant. I was very concerned about safety, fear of hurting the baby, etc., and didn't know anyone who slept with baby. Nobody in my family ever did it, they always had cribs, so wasn't able to get any advice. Thank goodness for MDC :) I even bought a sleeper to put in bed next to me just in case. Never used it though. My baby has slept next to me since the day she was born, even in the hospital. The bed was small but it was fine for us. I never rolled over her, and I felt a lot better when she was close and I could check on her constantly and respond promptly to her cries (paranoid first-time mom, lol). It also made nursing much easier. In the beginning I did worry about squishing her, and I slept very lightly, always waking up to check on her and make sure she was breathing. DD also sleeps much better next to me, she always cries when left alone. Now I've gotten so used to sleeping next to my dd, I can't imagine it being any other way. 

 

My dh also thinks its natural to want our child with us, but he doesn't like waking up at night, and is cranky when he doesn't sleep enough, so he's moved to the other room for now. To be honest I don't mind at all, my mind is so focused on the baby. Eventually I'd want him back with me though, hopefully when dd starts sleeping longer at night. 


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#15 of 38 Old 07-19-2011, 09:52 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Abraisme View Post

Alright, fair enough.  Do you think that he would have woken up though once the baby started squirming underneath him?  Our DD has always slept between me and her co-sleeper (instead of between my dh and I).   If she slept between us I would have a hard time keeping the covers off of her head, which made me paranoid.  I do like having a co-sleeper for this reason, but I've always been totally flexible about using it or not. 
 



 

 

 

You know, honestly, the baby didn't squirm...she slept right through it!  This did not scare us away form co-sleeping, I want to make that clear.  It just helped us realize that we needed to co-sleep differently so that it was safe for our family to do.  My husband took naps on the recliner with the baby on his chest ALL the time, they just didn't nap in bed together until she was much older.

 


 
 
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#16 of 38 Old 07-19-2011, 07:35 PM
 
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Baby #1: A month. We all slept WAY better with baby not in our bed - but he was next to the bed until 6 months.

Baby #2: Never. She was in her own room by Night #4.

 

It's just what worked for our family. I still nursed through the night- but I wasn't awake with every grunt and squirm.


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#17 of 38 Old 07-19-2011, 09:04 PM
 
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I haven't read all replies, but our son is 3.5yrs and still cosleeping. We do not plan to move him out of the family bed until he's ready. We'll cosleep with this one, unless for some reason it doesn't work out for the baby. We have no problem cosleeping, but we will watch the baby's cues! We tried to get Kieran to sleep in a bassinet by the bed, but he refused to sleep anywhere without me right next to him/touching him. Now I wouldn't have it any other way smile.gif

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#18 of 38 Old 07-20-2011, 07:49 AM
 
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I haven't read all the replies, either.

 

Let's see.  I usually have the pack and play set up before the birth anyway, it also doubles as a diaper changing table it has an attachment thing.  Anyway.  In the first few days/weeks the baby is mostly just in bed with me.  Pretty much from the start of the night to the morning... um and during the day too when I'm napping/resting. 

 

After a few months, the baby starts the night in a pack and play.  (either set up in our bedroom to start, or after a while in the closet)  This is for the gap between his bedtime and mine.  The baby stays there until they wake up for the first time, then they are in bed with me for the remainder of the night.  This goes on for the first year.  It allows me a little more space (read sex with my husband), or reading in bed without the light disturbing baby. Our closet's door is right next to my side of the bed and its a fairly large walk in.  We turn on the bathroom fan for white noise and it works.  With this scenario, the baby also has a place for naps once he's mobile.

 

My daughter slept in my closet until she was about 16-18 months old - when we moved her to a toddler bed in my son's room.  Which actually turned into them cosleeping in the same bed for a while. I'm not entirely sure what will happen with this baby.  In regard to moving out of my room/closet.  We sort of need a bigger house. lol


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#19 of 38 Old 07-25-2011, 12:53 PM
 
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Dr. McKenna was interviewed in this piece on baby sleep on ABC:  http://www.abc.net.au/catalyst/stories/3275008.htm


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#20 of 38 Old 07-25-2011, 07:51 PM
 
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We've coslept with DD (21 months) since birth. Well, since three days after her birth since you are not permitted to co-sleep in the hospital she was born at. She still sleeps with us in a twin bed side-carred to our queen. Our newb will sleep with us as well.


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#21 of 38 Old 07-25-2011, 09:27 PM
 
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Our daughter co-slept with us until we got a toddler bed at around two and a half, or a little sooner?  It's all kind of a blur...but I have to say that even though she was in her own bed, I was nursing her to sleep and often falling asleep with her until around 3 years old.  So, technically we were still co-sleeping, and we decided that if that was how we were going to get her to sleep (one of us laying down with her and telling stories, singing, etc.) than we might as well make it comfortable for us and we got a twin.  Luckily we pressed on for her to sleep in her "big girl bed" and a couple of nights she fell asleep on her own when we moved when she was 4, and from then on she was going to sleep all on her own.  We loved co-sleeping, but we also liked it when she moved into her own bed because most nights my husband ended up on the couch (DD is a bed hog! =) 

 

This go-around I think we are we will side-car a separate bed next to ours and use a crib for naps when DD is home.  We'll feel out how soon is right to move this one into his own room, because 6 months (or even under a year) seems SO young, but the 3ish years of co-sleeping was difficult for that time in our marriage --it was like we never saw each other because I would fall asleep when at around 8 with DD which was right about the time my husband would get home, and then we'd sleep in and he'd be off to work already and we wouldn't even end up in the same bed! 

 

That was then, and this is now, so we'll take it one day at a time.  sleepytime.gif

 

 

*I just read my post and it is kind of scattered, hopefully it makes sense!*

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#22 of 38 Old 07-25-2011, 09:50 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dashley111 View Post

My husband totally rolled over on our baby. 



Mine too.  Also not drinking or using drugs.  And, it happened more than once (he wasn't supposed to fall asleep with DS but did which is why.  I had this weird sixth sense and felt something was wrong and found them this way.  DS also seemed to really want to smother himself as an infant and had no problems being in unsafe breathing positions).  I'm DDCC and a Dec due date but just wanted to say that a breastfeeding mama is not going to roll over on her baby, but most books I've read say that dad and others are not nearly as safe sleeping with baby.  When my son was a baby, any tiny little sound/breath he made that was "off" woke me up right away....it is this very weird thing that seems to happen to breastfeeding moms.  On the other hand, DH could sleep through some wild crying fits.  I would sleep your baby between the wall and you and have your DH on your other side. 

 

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#23 of 38 Old 07-26-2011, 12:20 PM
 
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my biggest fear too is the baby getting rolled onto.. or otherwise harmed.  DH while being a great husband and a very good guy.  Has a tendancy at night if disturbed to react first and think after.  Our cat has been tossed off the bed more then once for pawing at him, or trying to sleep on his back in the middle of the night ( which once he wakes up is snuggleing her up and apologizing to me, as I get very upset when he does this).  So for me co-sleeping isn't something I'm comfortable with.  But that isn't stopping us from keeping the baby in our room, on my side of the bed.  Once the baby is home if something changes.. well great.  but atm I only plan on napping with her on my chest during the day ect ( out-side of "bed-time")  He's expressed his own fears with this as well so for us it's simply to try simply haveing baby in the room with us at first.  I can't really see ignoreing DH's feelings, particularly if they are justified.  and once baby gets here he may change his views.  Trying to force a DH to be comfortable with something he obviosuely isn't.  isn't my cup of tea.

 

We will do what works best for our family.  which will likely tax us all, and mean trying many different approaches to some things.. but in the end as a family unit be solid.  In a perfect world XYZ is done.. but in reality we do the best we can and make the best choices for our familes that we can.

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#24 of 38 Old 07-26-2011, 01:05 PM
 
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I kept both babies in the basinet right  by our bedside untill 9 month when they night weaned. It really worked well for our family.

I need my own space at night. We have cats. My husband is heavy sleeper and woudl rollover anything. We have soft matress and blankets whihc are not good for a baby.

 

 

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#25 of 38 Old 07-27-2011, 05:41 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by APToddlerMama View Post
 I would sleep your baby between the wall and you and have your DH on your other side. 

 


This is the safe and proper way to bed share.  I personally do not follow this rule Sheepish.gif, but when examining the pros/cons and stats associated with bedsharing- this positioning is what is practiced in those studies so its important to realize this.  Also (and this is a nit picky point) I just wanted to throw out there that bedsharing is a specific form of co-sleeping, which is an umbrella term.  Keeping baby in your room next to your bed is also co-sleeping.  When experts are discussing co-sleeping they are referring to simply being in close proximity to baby, not necessarily bedsharing.

 


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#26 of 38 Old 07-27-2011, 02:43 PM
 
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My son is 3.5, and he has no intention on moving out!  I asked him if he was going to sleep in his bed when the baby comes.  He said no. "The baby can sleep in front of momma and I can sleep behind momma"  I'm sure he'll move out sometime...right?  I mean, they don't turn 15 and still sleep in your bed...do they?  :)

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#27 of 38 Old 07-28-2011, 04:55 AM
 
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Yes they do/can.. lol I was raised very "traditional" in the baby got it's own room and slept there from birth on up... One of my friends, who's more like an aunt or a surrogate mom, co-slept/bed shared with her daughter who didn't sleep in her own bed until she was almost 16.  Thank you Jamie also for detailing that co-sleeping means "within' proximity"  not just bed shareing.  I can't imagine leaving my girl in a crib to cry/be alone as a newborn.  What age do most parents "encourage" their children to sleep in their own beds ect?  DH and I haven't talked at length but he's abit uncomfortable as is w/ DD being in the room with us at all, but sees the logical sense while I'm feeding her threw the nights.  I think his position will change once she is here.  I'm of a mind to encourage her to sleep in her own "room" when she starts sleeping threw the night comfortably.  sometime around weaning time.  Anyone else done this or similar?  or what are your thoughts? my neice got severe night terrors between 2-3yrs, and the few times we visited and slept over, they terrified me.  sometimes they can't be helped but I do not want to push her out of our comfot to soon, but 'nore do I want to end up with a pre-teen shareing our bed. 

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#28 of 38 Old 07-28-2011, 06:25 AM
 
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Every child is so different there is really no way to predict when they will be ready to transition easily to their own room.  Some babies can do it when they are still little and naturally STTN at a very early age.  Other babies won't STTN until they are 2 or 3.  Some will transition easily and do well for a while and then start feeling the need to come back to the family bed for a period.  I have always found there is a lot of up and down when it comes to sleep.  But I don't think that you need to fear a pre-teen sleeping in your bed.  Maybe a preschooler, but not a preteen.   We were able to transition our first after she night weaned quite easily.  I think it was a combination of being ready as well as being used to sleeping on her own sleep surface (next to our bed) for over a year.  So we bed shared and then moved her to her own bed then moved her to her own room... a gradual transition. 


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#29 of 38 Old 07-29-2011, 01:48 PM
 
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DD1 stayed in the bed with us for 4 months before I had to put her in a crib. We had a lot of breastfeeding difficulties. I had postpartum depression. Everyone slept better after I moved her into her own bed.

DS stayed with us until he was 9 months old. I was pregnant and working full time and he was nursing every hour during the night due to my lower milk supply. We kept him in a crib in our bedroom until he was finally able to sleep for long stretches of time, which took a really long time to happen for him.

DD2 had a congenital heart defect that we didn't know about. All we knew was that she was sick - her pediatrician misdiagnosed her with GERD. She stayed with us for at least a year. I believe that she is still alive because we bed-shared. I woke up to her having an apneic episode one night when she was 8 months which began the path to her proper diagnosis.

Currently, DD1 sleeps on a mattress on the floor in the kids' bedroom, DS sleeps in a twin sized bed, and DD2 is still in her crib and happy about it. They all sleep in the same room. Occasionally DD1 and DS will come sleep with DH and I and we sing the "punk spider" song every night to ease DD2's fear of spiders. The new baby will start in our bed and when she leaves will be up to her.

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#30 of 38 Old 07-30-2011, 09:09 AM
 
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I have friend whose pre-teen  sleeps in their bed almost every night.  Dad is not happy. There is a lot of resentement.

Quote:
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Every child is so different there is really no way to predict when they will be ready to transition easily to their own room.  Some babies can do it when they are still little and naturally STTN at a very early age.  Other babies won't STTN until they are 2 or 3.  Some will transition easily and do well for a while and then start feeling the need to come back to the family bed for a period.  I have always found there is a lot of up and down when it comes to sleep.  But I don't think that you need to fear a pre-teen sleeping in your bed.  Maybe a preschooler, but not a preteen.   We were able to transition our first after she night weaned quite easily.  I think it was a combination of being ready as well as being used to sleeping on her own sleep surface (next to our bed) for over a year.  So we bed shared and then moved her to her own bed then moved her to her own room... a gradual transition. 



 

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