Baby Shower Etiquette - Mothering Forums
November 2011 > Baby Shower Etiquette
CDsMom1031's Avatar CDsMom1031 09:23 PM 07-18-2011

Do I bring DH?

 

I know a lot of people think baby showers are strictly for women, but it's his baby, too... Why shouldn't he be invited to his baby's first "party"? So I was thinking of having all women+DH... I almost feel like he'd be upset if he didn't get to come because he's sooo involved with everything (Going to every appointment, every shopping trip, etc.).



IwannaBanRN's Avatar IwannaBanRN 09:47 PM 07-18-2011

Your DH can be your liason, which is the person that takes care of helping with gifts and drinks and games. Almost like a host and assistant.


justamama's Avatar justamama 09:59 PM 07-18-2011

What about a co-ed shower? Or a daddy shower? A poker game if he's into that where the buy-in is a receiving blanket, pack of diapers, pacifier, or other baby item under $5-10 or so.


LunaLady's Avatar LunaLady 09:02 AM 07-19-2011

I've been to co-ed baby showers and I've been to baby showers with just women + the baby's father. I don't think there are really any strict taboos around that, anymore - thankfully! 


Ratchet's Avatar Ratchet 07:01 PM 07-19-2011

I have been to some coed ones and the men have looked purely tortured sitting in front of a bunch of women ooh-ing at cutesy baby clothes.  The remainder of the shower has always been like a BBQ or something that the guys have been fine with but I don't know how they would survive games like baby themed word finds or guess the belly measurement with a string or whatever.  But if he wanted to go, it's your baby and your shower so do whatever you want/ whatever he wants.  


thencamehenry's Avatar thencamehenry 08:56 PM 07-19-2011

We had three showers for our first baby (friends/family, my work, husband's work).  He only came to the one at his office.  Around here it' most common for the guy to make an appearance at the tail end of wedding/bay showers, say a brief thanks to everyone, and help load the loot in the car. Unless the shower is a coed shower, of course. 

 

Do whatever makes the two of you comfortable.  After having a baby, I appreciate the idea of a community of women coming together to celebrate the baby's arrival.  But I wouldn't think anything of it if a friend had her husband at the shower.


MrsKatie's Avatar MrsKatie 12:34 AM 07-21-2011

We are having a big co-ed/kid-friendly shower.  I don't think I'm going to spend any time opening gifts at the shower, either.  My bridal shower was just last year and having everyone standing/sitting around watching me open presents was SO awkward and uncomfortable for me.  I HATED it.  So I see no reason to do that again!

 

I just want a big party - maybe a couple goofy games for the girls, but the dudes can hang out and drink (and watch the kids!).  I just want a big, laid-back party!


Chena4's Avatar Chena4 09:37 AM 07-21-2011

I dont think it's rude. I have been to co ed showers. May instead of him being the only man, why not make it co ed so he can get a man cake or something? I think she should go if he wants to.


Blayzes Mommy's Avatar Blayzes Mommy 12:30 PM 07-23-2011


Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsKatie View Post

We are having a big co-ed/kid-friendly shower.  I don't think I'm going to spend any time opening gifts at the shower, either.  My bridal shower was just last year and having everyone standing/sitting around watching me open presents was SO awkward and uncomfortable for me.  I HATED it.  So I see no reason to do that again!

 

I just want a big party - maybe a couple goofy games for the girls, but the dudes can hang out and drink (and watch the kids!).  I just want a big, laid-back party!



I'm in the exact same predicament..and we decided since we'll be liveing with my parents and they have a big house to just have a big family get-together/BBQ.  I won't be able to get out of the gift opening infront of everyone, but I won't be bombarded by "games" which aren't my cup of tea.  It also made sense to do it co-ed/family style because most of my family and friends live 1+ hours away and most have kids ect... I figure if the girls really wanna get together and celebrate we can do something after the baby is here and we can all do a cocktail night or something down the road.  I look at the time as also a way to explaine our general birthing plan ( we don't want all our family and frineds to visit in the hospital but later when we get home.)  They can speak to my mom and dad about makeing those arrangements.  I come from a very close knit large family, so making our plans easy and well in advance known will make it smoother and help negate any negative feelings, and address them before the birth not after people are upset.  And also give us a solid box to stand on if anyone tries to show up, and I won't feel bad about telling them to leave.


Jaimee's Avatar Jaimee 03:35 PM 07-23-2011

With my first we had two co-ed showers that were mostly games and food plus a bit of gift opening.  Both were pretty enjoyable.  Dh didn't feel uncomfortable and no one seemed to think it was weird.  He got to invite his friends and friends of his family so it was just more like a big party.  On top of that my sister also planned a Mother Blessing ceremony that was just my close female friends and family.  It was really nice, too- much more meaningful and intimate.


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