What are you doing for Thanksgiving? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 28 Old 08-03-2011, 07:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I normally cook big meals on Thanksgiving. I am due on the 14th think she may come a little later than that. My twins b day is Nov. 3. I was planning to have a big 5th birthday party for them, but the hubby thinks we shouldnt and save the $ for the baby. I am feeling really bad because I feel that I may not be up to making Thanksgiving and we have no close friends of family here, where we live. I feel that this is changing the things that my kids are used to. I am thinking no B day nor Thanksgiving? That's too much to take away from my kids in a short period of time. One of ther twins is already talking about the party he wants to have here in his new house, we just bought a house in May. So what should I do? What would you ?

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#2 of 28 Old 08-03-2011, 08:07 AM
 
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We're cancelling Thanksgiving here. I'm due the day before. And whether I have a 3 week old (37 weeks is not out of my realm of a normal birth time) or am still pregnant, I will not be hauling my kids from place to place OR hosting people...even if they are the ones bringing food. We will likely just stay home and eat steak, mashed potatoes, etc. I'm not at all a fan of holidays anyway. I rather hate them, actually. DH will be working from 3-12 anyway, so that's another reason to use to get out of doing anything.


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#3 of 28 Old 08-03-2011, 09:13 AM
 
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We also have no plans for Thanksgiving this year.  I'm due 3 days before and don't want any expectations around that time.  My MIL will be staying with us around that time and she might make some ham and potatoes, but nothing huge or fancy.

 

ETA:  I'd still give your twins a small, low-cost b-day if $ is a factor.  You don't want them to feel like they're getting left out because a new baby is coming. 


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#4 of 28 Old 08-03-2011, 09:26 AM
 
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Can you throw a party for them a few weeks earlier than their actual B-day, then just have some cupcakes and a special dinner on the actual day? 


 
 
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#5 of 28 Old 08-03-2011, 10:00 AM
 
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So, before unseperating from my DH, there were ZERO plans for Thanksgiving. Now that I'm back with him, we are moving back to our hometown in September or early October, and my mom and one of my sisters lives there, so we will be doing something on Thanksgiving, I just hope I won't be in the throes of labor on Thanksgiving since I'm due on the 21st and Turkey Day is the 24th. lol Fingers crossed, I'll be done having baby and have alot of room in my tummy for some yummy turkey feast! And seriously, if mom doesn't understand that I won't be doing much, if anything, I'll go home and rest. lol

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#6 of 28 Old 08-03-2011, 10:11 AM
 
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Hmm... maybe I'm being totally unrealistic, but I still want Thanksgiving! That's my favorite of all the holidays. We're moving into our first house this month and I thought it would be nice to have Thanksgiving at our house. I'm due Nov. 12, but my first baby went to 42 weeks so I was thinking I wouldn't have even had the baby by then... but now I'm not so sure. Do I really want to be cooking or having people around cooking when I just gave birth? I still want turkey and pumpkin pie though! :) Guess I'll have to talk to my family about this one. We have a small extended family and usually go to my mom & dad's house but last year they came to ours.

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#7 of 28 Old 08-03-2011, 10:21 AM
 
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I'm due on the 10th, and my mother-in-law is planning to fly out to stay with us for a while after the baby is born (hopefully not *right after* the baby is born, I'd like a little time to myself). So if everything goes perfectly to plan, she'll be here just in time for Thanksgiving and will put together a meal for our new little family: turkey, stuffing, potatoes...the basics. :)

 

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the whole year! I don't want to miss out on it completely if I don't have to.

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#8 of 28 Old 08-03-2011, 11:03 AM
 
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Our guess date is Nov 29th. My first went over a week, my second two weeks and two days, but they say number three is a wildcard! I am pushing for him to come at least "on time." I don't think I can do two weeks again!!! I will be starting to encourage labor to start a week before I am "due". That being said, every year, we have Thanksgiving at two different places and I usually cook half of the food for the dinner. The lunch is sort of pre-set. I told DH I WILL NOT be cooking anything this year for Thanksgiving or Christmas. My mom is planning to come out sometime. We're not quite sure if she will plan for Thanksgiving and stay until Christmas or come beginning of December and stay til Christmas. It's nice she is even offering!!! So, I will be going to Thanksgiving and Christmas, within reason of course, but will be allowing myself to be catered to! HA HA HA! We'll see!!!

 

For those of you who have no family near or real "reason" to cook, have you thought of ordering the meal already made? Grocery stores all over do that for fairly inexpensive and at least you will have a cooked meal that you won't have to worry about. If it's important to you! Food for thought!

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#9 of 28 Old 08-03-2011, 11:04 AM
 
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We're due on the Nov. 1st (but fine with letting the baby cook longer), so we're figuring that the baby could be between 2 and 3 weeks old by Thanksgiving.  The thought of spending the holiday at home, just the three of us, sounds SO nice.  For the past several years I've dreaded Thanksgiving with my side of the family because my mom's and sister's hearts are much bigger than their home. We usually end up with 12 to 19+ people sitting on my mom's rickety chairs in her very small dining room, passing platters of (chilling) food around for 20 minutes before finally getting to eat.  It all makes me want to scream sometimes.  Dinner with my DH's side would normally be very small and more our pace, but so many of his relatives are making the trip out to meet the baby and share the holiday.  So we're going to start off our life as a new little family with our own little dinner. 

 

Chena4: I think that you should definitely give your twins at least a little party.  (I'm totally speaking from a kid's POV and not a parent's as I don't have the latter experience yet.)  Is it possible that they might feel a little pushed aside with the new baby's birth on the horizon and yet no celebration of their own?  Being as they're turning 5, they'll really remember these special occasions down the road.  It could also be an opportunity to get them (more?) excited about their new sibling if you make it clear how very happy you are to have them in your life and how excited you were to meet them for the first time.  It could give them an extra boost of love knowing how special they are and how special the new baby is.  You know?  There are a ton of DIY kids party ideas online so you don't have to break the bank getting matching cartoon table dressings and such.  Like making paper plate masks or having a sprinkler running for them to all jump through?  This is a great age for them to easily create they're own fun.

God luck Mama!


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#10 of 28 Old 08-03-2011, 11:31 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caracol8 View Post

 

 

Chena4: I think that you should definitely give your twins at least a little party.  (I'm totally speaking from a kid's POV and not a parent's as I don't have the latter experience yet.)  Is it possible that they might feel a little pushed aside with the new baby's birth on the horizon and yet no celebration of their own?  Being as they're turning 5, they'll really remember these special occasions down the road.  It could also be an opportunity to get them (more?) excited about their new sibling if you make it clear how very happy you are to have them in your life and how excited you were to meet them for the first time.  It could give them an extra boost of love knowing how special they are and how special the new baby is.  You know?  There are a ton of DIY kids party ideas online so you don't have to break the bank getting matching cartoon table dressings and such.  Like making paper plate masks or having a sprinkler running for them to all jump through?  This is a great age for them to easily create they're own fun.

God luck Mama!


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#11 of 28 Old 08-03-2011, 11:45 AM
 
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I'm due in the first week of November, so hopefully I'll have a baby that's at least a couple weeks old by then. So, we plan to stick to our normal Thanksgiving plans. I don't ever host holidays anyway because our house is too small. We'll go to my parents' the day of for the big dinner with the whole family, where I'm sure we'll play a lot of pass the baby since she'll be the noob there. I'm actually kind of looking forward to it. I'll have a newborn, so no one will expect me to bring a dish or help with clean up, and DH will get the chase the toddler while I enjoy my big dinner with a noob in my arms. Sounds like bliss to me!

 

The only part I'm bummed about is missing out on Black Friday shopping this year. I don't usually buy much that day, but the last couple of years I've made the trip out with my sisters in the middle of the night just for the fun of it. I'm hoping to have all my Christmas shopping (and wrapping!) done before I have the baby, so no need for Black Friday this year. 


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#12 of 28 Old 08-03-2011, 11:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok, these are some really good ideas. So let me ask you this. I normally spend $500 on my kids b day, not including toys. So do you think they will misunderstand the birthday if I do it the week before, which will be halloween? If I explain that this is their birthday and have some of their pre school friends over Sat morning/ mid afternnoon, and not hire the face painter (that's my favorite thing, she does the whole face like Disney World). Like do a Halloween/ B day party and cut down on what I normaly spend. Like set a budget of $200? Can I do  good bday party for $200?

 

Then Thanksgiving, when I told the whole family that I wasn't going to cook, you would have thought I said the cat died. They all just got teary eyed, even the hubby, and was like why? no! no! no! I am really family oriented because I didn't have this type of relationship with my own family. Hhh.... how can I explain it to them without me them, or me cry, I don't like seeing them so upset!

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#13 of 28 Old 08-03-2011, 12:09 PM
 
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Not sure about Thanksgiving and why they'd be so upset, unless your cooking is REALLY good! wink1.gif

 

As for the kids birthday, a Halloween birthday party would be fun!  Let the kids wear their costumes and that cuts out on the face painter like you said, and they can do pumpkin decorating for a fun activity. Not sure about the carving w/that many preschoolers running around! And I think you can definitely do a good b-day party for that amount. Cook something big for lunch, like spaghetti or lasagna, something your kids like, then if you want to buy a predecorated cake spend the money on that instead of on the food. I think the kids will be so busy running around playing in their costumes that they won't need many activities.

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#14 of 28 Old 08-03-2011, 12:38 PM
 
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Wow!  We never spend more than 100-200 on a bday party and we have really great parties :)  I have a felt banner that says "happy birthday Owen"- it's really cute and we use it every year.  I made it myself, so I saved money there.  We get nice decorations but not too many so it's not overdone.  I make all the food, we have games and activities for the kids, and I make the cakes.  If you're not too-DIY I'd say you can still throw a great party for not much money.  There are lots of tips online.  You could also spend 200 on an "experience", like a special day trip or activity that they'd love, so then you don't have to decorate, send invites, entertain guests, etc.

 

Just a thought :)

 


 

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Originally Posted by Chena4 View Post

Ok, these are some really good ideas. So let me ask you this. I normally spend $500 on my kids b day, not including toys. So do you think they will misunderstand the birthday if I do it the week before, which will be halloween? If I explain that this is their birthday and have some of their pre school friends over Sat morning/ mid afternnoon, and not hire the face painter (that's my favorite thing, she does the whole face like Disney World). Like do a Halloween/ B day party and cut down on what I normaly spend. Like set a budget of $200? Can I do  good bday party for $200?

 

Then Thanksgiving, when I told the whole family that I wasn't going to cook, you would have thought I said the cat died. They all just got teary eyed, even the hubby, and was like why? no! no! no! I am really family oriented because I didn't have this type of relationship with my own family. Hhh.... how can I explain it to them without me them, or me cry, I don't like seeing them so upset!



 

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#15 of 28 Old 08-03-2011, 01:42 PM
 
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I would definitely throw a party for them and I would probably do it on/right around their birthday, too.  What is making you think the baby will be early?  11 days early is quite a bit early- such that I wouldn't be too concerned about a baby showing up right before or on the day of the party.  It could be exhausting, though, so I would ask for help from friends.  Maybe make it a potluck to cut down on dishes and cost?  Maybe have it outside of your house- like a friend's house who doesn't mind doing clean up?  Or another venue that is free or doesn't cost much?

 

As for Thanksgiving... I would plan that, too.  But not elaborately.  Just a few of the standard dishes your family likes and enlist the help of friends or neighbors.  Maybe even have a group Thanksgiving potluck to spread out the responsibility and clean up?


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#16 of 28 Old 08-03-2011, 05:36 PM
 
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I am actually due on Thanksgiving day. My other two were 6 and 4 days late, though, so I'm not too concerned about having hte baby that day, but I know I won't feel like cooking. We live 900 miles from family, so it;s not a big deal. I'll probably cook pretty much the whole meal ahead and freeze it, honestly. My mom will possibly be in town, so she can help too. I hate to cancel Thanksgiving ,but I hate to put too much on myself, too.

 

As for the birthday, I agree that you should still have a party. They're 5 - I think they'll understand a smaller party, but no party would be a real bummer.


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#17 of 28 Old 08-03-2011, 07:50 PM
 
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Oh my, $500 on a birthday party! I don't even know what I would spend $500 on for my kid's birthday! Granted, I've never planned a party for twins, but most of our birthday parties are low-key. We bbq with friends around DD's birthday and I make a cake and maybe splurge on some kind of themed cake plates and napkins. My family is huge (this will be grandkid number 20 for my parents and I have 5 siblings), so we've started doing monthly birthday parties. We celebrate all the birthdays in that month on one day, so the cousins all share their parties. Gifts are not mandatory by any means, we mostly just get together for a light meal and have cake/ice cream. Then, DH's family is quite the opposite, he's an only child and our kids are the only grandkids on that side. My MIL makes a small meal and a cake for birthdays and we just have a quiet evening together.

 

So, even though we end up having 3 different "parties" for birthdays, I've never spent more than $50 on the party itself. And I even had a cake made by a local baker for DD's first birthday and got some decorations from a local floral shop. We try to keep the gift to a $50 budget, so all-together DD's birthdays have cost roughly $100, parties and gift included. With the new baby, we have re-evaluated our birthday budget and have set aside $150 for both birthdays, $75 per kid. If we get food for the party, I just include it in my weekly shopping and adjust my grocery budget for the week. Even on a small budget, we always have a great time!
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chena4 View Post

Ok, these are some really good ideas. So let me ask you this. I normally spend $500 on my kids b day, not including toys. So do you think they will misunderstand the birthday if I do it the week before, which will be halloween? If I explain that this is their birthday and have some of their pre school friends over Sat morning/ mid afternnoon, and not hire the face painter (that's my favorite thing, she does the whole face like Disney World). Like do a Halloween/ B day party and cut down on what I normaly spend. Like set a budget of $200? Can I do  good bday party for $200?

 

Then Thanksgiving, when I told the whole family that I wasn't going to cook, you would have thought I said the cat died. They all just got teary eyed, even the hubby, and was like why? no! no! no! I am really family oriented because I didn't have this type of relationship with my own family. Hhh.... how can I explain it to them without me them, or me cry, I don't like seeing them so upset!



 


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#18 of 28 Old 08-04-2011, 01:35 PM
 
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My son just had his 7th birthday party. I spent a total of $75 on gifts and everything. I let him make a lot of budgeting decisions, so he learned a lot too. I made his cake, we played "freeze dance" and ring toss and blew bubbles outside, and I bought his gifts from thrift shop/gave him some cash (his request). The other kids there said it was the best party ever--they had fun because of the loving atmosphere and simple, pressure-free activities. A budget birthday party does not have to be difficult or dissapointing!

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#19 of 28 Old 08-04-2011, 05:20 PM
 
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ddcc but, im having the same problem with xmas, and i love xmas food, so on thanksgiving im just going to do a double of everything and freeze it so either on x mas or after baby is born (due dec 23)  well have a nice big meal yummy!


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#20 of 28 Old 08-06-2011, 11:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok, I will try to lower the budget and lower the gift amounts.  I will have to cancle to the face painter. I will try some little games here. So where should get kid friendly decorations? Does Thanksgiving still taste the same if I freeze it? That's a really good idea. Never thought of that.

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#21 of 28 Old 08-07-2011, 07:30 AM
 
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i think so im going to cook and sperate the turkey and freeze it, make gravy freeze, the stuffing im going to leave raw and freeze, pies will be raw and frozen, cranberry sauce may be jarred, green beans casserole will be assembled and frozen, sweet potatoes will just be baked in skins on day of then mashed with butter maple syrup cinnamon and vanilla almond milk, mashed potatoes will be frozen.... cant think of anthing else


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#22 of 28 Old 08-07-2011, 05:07 PM
 
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Am I the only one who is getting hungry reading this thread?! I'm about to go out and buy stuff to make Thanksgiving dinner this week smile.gif

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#23 of 28 Old 08-07-2011, 06:23 PM
 
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I hadn't even thought about Thanksgiving until I saw this thread!  Not that it matters much - we will do what we have done for the last four years or so - Cracker Barrel.  For most of my adult life I hosted Thanksgiving for my family since I had the biggest house.  Well, several years ago my brother bought a bigger home, still much smaller than mine but new and so he wanted to have Thanksgiving there.  We reluctantly agreed.  And we were miserable ALL DAY!  The next year we decided there was no way were going to repeat that experience.  I offered to host, they declined saying they wanted to host again, and we agreed to disagree.  I basically said, we are going to go to Cracker Barrel and would love for you to join us but we totally understand if you want to do something different.  And so now we go to Cracker Barrel with our moms (did I mention that my mom was also miserable at my brother's?)  And since we feel guilty that the server is working on Thanksgiving, we always leave a HUGE tip.  We get a good meal, it's cheaper than if I made everything at home (seriously, they have great deals on Thanksgiving dinner), and our waitress gets extra cash in her pocket to help on Black Friday.  Win-Win.

 

For those that still want to cook something, The 30 Day Gourmet (30daygourmet.com) offers a Holiday Freezer e-book for just a few bucks.  It details how to cook ahead, freeze, and serve your entire holiday meal.  I have several of their e-books and their cooking manual and like their recipes very much. 

 

Another option is ordering a fully prepared meal from a local restaurant or grocery store.  There are multiple establishments in my area that offer these for a good price.

 


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#24 of 28 Old 08-07-2011, 09:20 PM
 
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Maybe I just love these stories, but what was miserable about being at your brothers??  We hate spending holidays with our families and carve out AT LEAST the first half of the day to ourselves.  Now we don't have to worry about it because we live across the country but I'd love to hear the story.  Haha!  Especially since your mom was miserable too! 

 

 

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I hadn't even thought about Thanksgiving until I saw this thread!  Not that it matters much - we will do what we have done for the last four years or so - Cracker Barrel.  For most of my adult life I hosted Thanksgiving for my family since I had the biggest house.  Well, several years ago my brother bought a bigger home, still much smaller than mine but new and so he wanted to have Thanksgiving there.  We reluctantly agreed.  And we were miserable ALL DAY!  The next year we decided there was no way were going to repeat that experience.  I offered to host, they declined saying they wanted to host again, and we agreed to disagree.  I basically said, we are going to go to Cracker Barrel and would love for you to join us but we totally understand if you want to do something different.  And so now we go to Cracker Barrel with our moms (did I mention that my mom was also miserable at my brother's?)  And since we feel guilty that the server is working on Thanksgiving, we always leave a HUGE tip.  We get a good meal, it's cheaper than if I made everything at home (seriously, they have great deals on Thanksgiving dinner), and our waitress gets extra cash in her pocket to help on Black Friday.  Win-Win.

 

For those that still want to cook something, The 30 Day Gourmet (30daygourmet.com) offers a Holiday Freezer e-book for just a few bucks.  It details how to cook ahead, freeze, and serve your entire holiday meal.  I have several of their e-books and their cooking manual and like their recipes very much. 

 

Another option is ordering a fully prepared meal from a local restaurant or grocery store.  There are multiple establishments in my area that offer these for a good price.

 



 

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#25 of 28 Old 08-08-2011, 07:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am always hungry! LOL

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#26 of 28 Old 08-08-2011, 11:56 AM
 
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Maybe I just love these stories, but what was miserable about being at your brothers??  We hate spending holidays with our families and carve out AT LEAST the first half of the day to ourselves.  Now we don't have to worry about it because we live across the country but I'd love to hear the story.  Haha!  Especially since your mom was miserable too! 

 

 



 

 

Oh so many things.  :)  I love my SIL, but we don't have the same ideas about entertaining.  No dessert - my husband's favorite part of Thanksgiving dinner.  Someone else was supposed to bring it and just decided not to.  This someone else was a stranger to us, but we were asked to provide his transportation and it was a lengthy drive - awkward to have a stranger in the car with our kids.   Food wasn't planned well so some things were ready long before others and got cold.  It lasted WAY too long and we felt obliged to stay.  More than anything, we just didn't feel comfortable there.  I feel a little bad that we don't do holidays together, especially when we live so close, but we have really come to enjoy our laid-back, no clean-up required Thanksgiving at Cracker Barrel.  The only thing missing is leftovers, but I make oven-roasted turkey several times throughout the year when it's not so stressful and there are no expectations. 
 

 


Jen - married to my superhero.gif, mama to DD (19), DD (17), DS (13), DSD (13), DS (8), forever missing my Hannah Grace candle.gif born still at 18 weeks, now on bedrest and expecting our miracle rainbow1284.gif in November.

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#27 of 28 Old 08-08-2011, 01:29 PM
 
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No dessert would be a deal-breaker for me, but providing a ride for a stranger?  No thanks.  It may be selfish but my holidays are for rest and celebration, not to entertain strangers.  
 

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Oh so many things.  :)  I love my SIL, but we don't have the same ideas about entertaining.  No dessert - my husband's favorite part of Thanksgiving dinner.  Someone else was supposed to bring it and just decided not to.  This someone else was a stranger to us, but we were asked to provide his transportation and it was a lengthy drive - awkward to have a stranger in the car with our kids.   Food wasn't planned well so some things were ready long before others and got cold.  It lasted WAY too long and we felt obliged to stay.  More than anything, we just didn't feel comfortable there.  I feel a little bad that we don't do holidays together, especially when we live so close, but we have really come to enjoy our laid-back, no clean-up required Thanksgiving at Cracker Barrel.  The only thing missing is leftovers, but I make oven-roasted turkey several times throughout the year when it's not so stressful and there are no expectations. 
 

 



 

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#28 of 28 Old 08-08-2011, 09:22 PM
 
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I'm due on the 27th and we've been going to my best friends family's house since I was four, and they do kind of a big semi-catered party event....it gets a little wild actually hehe.

 

So, if I'm early again then I'm going to go and enjoy myself!

And if its not time yet, then I'm going to go and enjoy myself!

 

Hosting would drive me nuts! I am semi-planning a Christmas party at this time and I'm already wondering if its the best idea....the little one will probably be a few weeks and I would have plenty of family there as well as friends but I just don't if I'm going to feel that same way about it after she arrives.


Me and DH and DD (2) and expecting #2 11/27!!!!! thumb.gif
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