Not opening gifts at shower? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 09-13-2011, 07:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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What are your feelings about not opening gifts at a baby shower? My shower is this weekend. Co-ed, kids will be there, lots of people crammed into a rather small space...and I really hate being the center of attention. My social anxiety is going nuts just thinking about it. Would it be super awful to just not do a big thing about the gifts? I figure there will be a few people who will want me to open their gift in their presence and I can do that, but I just don't want everyone to be gathered around me (mostly) bored out of their minds.


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#2 of 13 Old 09-13-2011, 10:19 PM
 
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I feel you.  We're having our co-ed shower in two weeks and I have no idea what to do about unwrapping gifts at the party.  I can't wait to see what others have to say!  

 

It might just be one of those social things we have to do for the sake of those who expect it and look forward to it.  Their feelings might just matter more than those guests who are bored by the event.  You know?  As far as being the center of attention goes- maybe just keep in mind that you're helping your baby unwrap his/her gifts.  Is there someone who can sit next to you and help, so you don't feel so singled out?

 

I'm mostly nervous about keeping my attitude fully excited and gracious if we get things that are completely different than what we need.  No one has bought anything from our amazon registry so I don't know what to expect anymore. shrug.gif  But I'm letting go and getting excited to see what people bring.  Anything will help! 


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#3 of 13 Old 09-14-2011, 06:25 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, that's kind of what I was thinking. My husband will be there to help and my toddler will likely want to help.


~Sarah

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#4 of 13 Old 09-14-2011, 12:03 PM
 
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If your DH is there it might not be so bad.  I'd still open gifts- people do want to see you open the gift they got for you.  

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#5 of 13 Old 09-14-2011, 12:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, he was there last time too. I just have some major social anxiety problems. :/


~Sarah

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#6 of 13 Old 09-14-2011, 01:09 PM
 
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Thanks for bringing this up, I've thought about it a lot!  I remember opening gifts at my bridal shower (just last year) and I HATED it.  It feels SO awkward to me.  I'm not going to do it at this shower.  We're having pretty much the same deal as you (co-ed, lots of little kids) and I also don't want to make little kids sit around and watch me open presents.  I know the gifts are for the baby and not for me, but still.

 

I don't think we need to open gifts at showers or parties!  I know people like it, but it's our shower, and it just feels too awkward for me.


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#7 of 13 Old 09-14-2011, 05:31 PM
 
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I feel your pain too. I have social anxiety in certain situations and opening gifts in front of people definitely is one of them. I'm always paranoid about how to appropriately react to each gift that I open. I've already been forewarned that a lot of baby shower gifts won't come from our registry. So basically if I have no use for the gift and/or completely dislike it, I still have to sit in front of dozens of people and pretend that I do. I'm not good at that! My baby shower is in 2 weeks. I'll have to keep building up a good mindset before it arrives... I'd say you probably should open the gifts in front of everyone at your shower since people especially enjoy seeing baby gifts opened and it's kind of tradition at baby showers. But you know what? If it makes you way too uncomfortable, as I know social anxiety can just be paralyzing, then find a way to get around opening the gifts publicly. Who is hosting the shower? Can you mention this issue to them ahead of time? I'm sure you can get out of it somehow. Whatever is best for your nerves!


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#8 of 13 Old 09-14-2011, 05:53 PM
 
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I have social anxiety as well, and I had issues with my husband's crazy aunts taking over my shower. DH came with me, and that made it SO much less stressful. If DH can't or doesn't want to go, maybe a good friend can help you get through it.

Is it going to be a big shower? I think that most people expect you to open presents at a shower, but I don't believe it is required etiquette-wise. I read a suggestion that you could open gifts while everyone is eating and a little distracted. You could put the presents out on a table and hang the clothes on ribbon or clothesline for people to look at after they eat.

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#9 of 13 Old 09-14-2011, 06:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ah ha! I've found the solution! A "display" shower! http://thestir.cafemom.com/pregnancy/4737/a_baby_shower_without_opening
I just asked my MIL to send an email to the guests informing them that we would like them to not wrap any gifts brought in an effort to be "green" (which it is...but also cuts down on the attention thing). Yay!


~Sarah

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#10 of 13 Old 09-14-2011, 07:49 PM
 
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Brilliant!  biggrinbounce.gif
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by crazykittymomma View Post

Ah ha! I've found the solution! A "display" shower! http://thestir.cafemom.com/pregnancy/4737/a_baby_shower_without_opening
I just asked my MIL to send an email to the guests informing them that we would like them to not wrap any gifts brought in an effort to be "green" (which it is...but also cuts down on the attention thing). Yay!



 


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#11 of 13 Old 09-15-2011, 04:03 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crazykittymomma View Post

Ah ha! I've found the solution! A "display" shower! http://thestir.cafemom.com/pregnancy/4737/a_baby_shower_without_opening
I just asked my MIL to send an email to the guests informing them that we would like them to not wrap any gifts brought in an effort to be "green" (which it is...but also cuts down on the attention thing). Yay!



I just emailed every one of our guests and told them not to wrap presents, that we were going green with a display table.  You're my hero!


Katie, married to my beloved Paddy

Catherine Anne "KJ" born November 10th, 2011

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#12 of 13 Old 09-19-2011, 01:03 PM
 
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The person that said she is giving me mine is like dragging her feet about it and I do not want to seem like I am forcing her to do it. So...... I don't blame you for not opening your gifts. I think if you want to hold out you should. I do that a lot, for showers my kids b day. everything

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#13 of 13 Old 09-19-2011, 03:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thought I would let you all know how it turned out. About half of the guests wrapped, half didn't. Pretty much none of the older generation showed up so my friends and I just sat around and chatted. We didn't wind up opening presents until after everyone went home. It. was. awesome!


~Sarah

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