Originally Posted by DynamiteA
if we're going to all the expense of adoption, why not get a second while we're at it? Doing all of this a second time in a few years would be more of a pain.
I know you're excited, but step back a minute and think about the reasons for adopting two at once. Are they about you and what's easier for you, or are they about what's best for the child?
A child you adopt, especially if they're not a newborn, is going to have a lot of transition, grief, and mourning to work through. She or he needs and deserves the time to work through that, and to have his/her parents dedicated to just his/her needs for a while. There's a reason the more reputable agencies and programs DO NOT allow adopting more than one child at a time (unless you're adopting siblings). Adoption is hard work. Not just for the parents...mostly for the child.
The reasons you're listing seem to be about money, convenience, and the "why not!" factor. All good reasons for an adult with plans and finances to consider. But....when you have your first child, you're going to see that no amount of money or convenience is worth their happiness, their security, or their attachment to you. You won't mind the hassle or "pain" of adopting again, because you're going to love the one-on-one time you have with your first. In fact, if you're like most parents I know
, you might even fear bringing another child into your family because some part of you wants your baby (even if he or she is 2, 3, or 4 at that point) to have your undivided love and attention.
If you do look into adopting a sibling group, REALLY look into it. If your agency doesn't require extra training, reading, or classes, you should seek them out on your own. There are a lot of challenges to adopting more than one child at a time, and educating yourself on that is important if you really want to consider it.