How to adopt without an agency? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 04-29-2009, 12:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Is there a website or other info about how to find someone who would like to adopt out their baby/child without going through an agency?

I am always blown away by the costs of adopting, especially overseas, and our options are limited as a gay couple. We have looked into fostercare-adoption but it's not the right situation for us.

Thank you.

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#2 of 3 Old 04-29-2009, 01:34 PM
 
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You have to have a homestudy and be certified to adopt. That will need to be done by an agency. Ours cost $1,000. We then listed on parentprofiles.com, advertised on craigslist, university newspapers, cafemom.com, and sent letters to obstetricians around our state. We were called by an ob about a just born baby. (I am nursing her as i type one-handed.)

Our total costs were around $7,000. If we'd needed to advertise more, our costs would have gone up. We offered the birthmom $1,000 for living expenses, which is the most our state allows.

I haven't read the sticky here, but I think it has good info. You can learn about adoptive nursing at www.asklenore.com. You can get donor breastmilk at www.milkshare.com

ETA: There is currently a tax credit of about $11,000 towards adoption expenses. As long as you would have paid that much in taxes, you can write off that amount. You can spread it over 5 years. We got back $4,000 of our expenses this year. I read one person thought these might go away, but I don't know if that's true.

Created an instant family (7/89 and 5/91) in 1997. Made a baby boy 12/05 adopted a baby girl 8/08. Ask me about tandem adoptive nursing. Now living as gluten, dairy, cane sugar, and tomato free vegetarians. Homeschooling and loving it.

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#3 of 3 Old 04-29-2009, 02:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mybabysmama View Post
You have to have a homestudy and be certified to adopt. That will need to be done by an agency. Ours cost $1,000. We then listed on parentprofiles.com, advertised on craigslist, university newspapers, cafemom.com, and sent letters to obstetricians around our state. We were called by an ob about a just born baby. (I am nursing her as i type one-handed.)

Our total costs were around $7,000. If we'd needed to advertise more, our costs would have gone up. We offered the birthmom $1,000 for living expenses, which is the most our state allows.

I haven't read the sticky here, but I think it has good info. You can learn about adoptive nursing at www.asklenore.com. You can get donor breastmilk at www.milkshare.com

ETA: There is currently a tax credit of about $11,000 towards adoption expenses. As long as you would have paid that much in taxes, you can write off that amount. You can spread it over 5 years. We got back $4,000 of our expenses this year. I read one person thought these might go away, but I don't know if that's true.
Thanks for the helpful info! I was hoping to time it right so that I could easily breastfeed the adopted one, too, and not have to get donor milk, but if not, I will definitely pump and get a milk supply going.

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