Waiting To Adopt NON DDC ~ June 2009 - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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#91 of 102 Old 06-30-2009, 09:52 PM
 
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I hope not to jinx anything by saying this but it looks like we have a good lead on someone who is making an adoption plan and will likely choose us! (which is why I've been super busy and not checking in as much as I'd like)

So we need to get attorneys and a homestudy done ASAP!! I have a couple of referrals to attorneys and to a homestudy agency. How do I pick who to go with? I am pretty sure we need to also have separate legal representation for the bio parents. What kinds of questions do you ask to determine who the best fit would be for both sides? And same with the homestudy place...I'm thinking we may have more than one option there too. Am I missing anything?

The questions we have so far:
1. Are they part of the American Acadamey For Adoption Attorneys?
2. Are they available for a phone screen, and once we narrow it down some, for a free consult? (not sure at what point to ask which questions)
3. Are they familiar with the ICPC and laws in both sending and receiving states?
4. How many adoptions do they handle per year? What is their experience?
5. Do they usually represent bio parents or adoptive parents or a blend?
6. What is their fee format and projected ballpark costs?
7. What happens if the bio parents change their mind? (what is paid for etc)
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#92 of 102 Old 06-30-2009, 10:27 PM
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For the attorney, I would check their bar status. Most states you can now look up on the bar's website and see if they are active (which means they are currently licensed to practice), how long they've been active and whether they have any disciplinary actions recorded.

I would probably try to hire my own attorney and then ask him/her how to go about securing representation for the birthparents.

Of the attorneys I considered only 1 didn't charge upfront for a meeting. Attorneys usually bill by the hour, although adoption attorneys also often work on a flat fee. The attorney we are meeting next week charges $600 for an initial meeting of 3 hours. After that we can decide whether or not to hire him and can either do a flat fee (if he helps find a match) or by the hour. I guess what I'm saying is that I wouldn't necessarily rule-out an attorney just because they charge for an initial consult.

For the agency, be sure to ask how fast they can do a homestudy and if there are fees for expediting. The agency we are planning to work with for homestudies this time around takes 3 months. I was surprised at how long that is. They can expedite to 6 weeks if you have an identified birthmother.

Good luck!
Catherine
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#93 of 102 Old 07-01-2009, 03:31 AM
 
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The attorney we are meeting next week charges $600 for an initial meeting of 3 hours.
3 hours? What could an attorney say for 3 hours? I've been through a horrible legal mess and we never spent 3 hours with that attorney. Our adoption attorney (only one in town, but came highly recommended by our SW) talked with me on the phone a couple times. When we found a match, we did everything by phone until it was time to sign the papers. That was maybe half an hour because I talk a lot.

Meeting the attorney in advance seems like a good idea, but I worry about someone who is charging you for 3 hours for the first meeting.

Created an instant family (7/89 and 5/91) in 1997. Made a baby boy 12/05 adopted a baby girl 8/08. Ask me about tandem adoptive nursing. Now living as gluten, dairy, cane sugar, and tomato free vegetarians. Homeschooling and loving it.

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#94 of 102 Old 07-01-2009, 02:01 PM
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Well, I suppose we'll find out. Agency orientations, etc are often that long so it doesn't surprise me all that much. I suspect many clients' first real look at adoption is in his office. So there would be quite a lot to explain. For example, DH just talked with a colleague who is considering adoption. This guy didn't know what a homestudy was. If that walked into your office, it would probably take you 3 hours to explain the process, especially in California where there are at least a couple of types of domestic adoption with different ramifications for each.

Depending on the state, forming an attorney-client relationship by phone can be questionable, so I might worry about an attorney that didn't want an in-person meeting.

As far as $200 per hour goes, we live in an expensive area and I'm not at all put off by that rate. (DH is an attorney, although not family law, and his rates are waaaaaayyy more than that. . . . .)

Catherine

ETA: Oh, maybe I should add that you don't have to have a homestudy pre-placement in CA. So where in other places, people would have already gone through a good part of the process before hiring an attorney, in CA they have not necessarily done that.
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#95 of 102 Old 07-01-2009, 08:44 PM
 
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Oh, maybe I should add that you don't have to have a homestudy pre-placement in CA. So where in other places, people would have already gone through a good part of the process before hiring an attorney, in CA they have not necessarily done that.
That makes sense. I don't think $200 an hour is expensive. It's the 3 hour part that got me. However, if you're not homestudy ready I can see there being stuff to learn.

I agree about establishing a relationship by phone may not be the best way. Ours just sort of happened that way.

Created an instant family (7/89 and 5/91) in 1997. Made a baby boy 12/05 adopted a baby girl 8/08. Ask me about tandem adoptive nursing. Now living as gluten, dairy, cane sugar, and tomato free vegetarians. Homeschooling and loving it.

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#96 of 102 Old 07-02-2009, 12:35 AM
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Look what arrived on my front door today: http://www.wildflowerdiapers.com/sto...idproduct=4805

So, which carry is best (and easy to learn) for a newborn?

Catherine
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#97 of 102 Old 07-02-2009, 01:08 AM
 
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Look what arrived on my front door today: http://www.wildflowerdiapers.com/sto...idproduct=4805

So, which carry is best (and easy to learn) for a newborn?

Catherine
How fun! Which pattern did you get?

Here's a good youtube instructional:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CamfWi0cEU8

Here's one on nursing in a wrap. I never tried it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLduL...eature=related

Created an instant family (7/89 and 5/91) in 1997. Made a baby boy 12/05 adopted a baby girl 8/08. Ask me about tandem adoptive nursing. Now living as gluten, dairy, cane sugar, and tomato free vegetarians. Homeschooling and loving it.

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#98 of 102 Old 07-02-2009, 02:59 AM
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Aphrodite. It's awfully pretty.

Thanks for the links!
Catherine
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#99 of 102 Old 07-02-2009, 03:02 AM
 
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Yes, it's really pretty.

Created an instant family (7/89 and 5/91) in 1997. Made a baby boy 12/05 adopted a baby girl 8/08. Ask me about tandem adoptive nursing. Now living as gluten, dairy, cane sugar, and tomato free vegetarians. Homeschooling and loving it.

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#100 of 102 Old 07-02-2009, 06:15 AM
 
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that's a really pretty wrap crl!

I bought a few more second hand dresses today, and am picking up a stroller we found for cheap this weekend. I'm assuming we won't want to actually let this child off our body for the first little while , but eventually I figure I might like to have a stroller on hand... still haven't picked out a baby carrier. the options here in NZ are not as wide without paying a fortune for shipping. I think I might get a few pieces of cloth they use for babywearing while in Uganda, but I'm thinking this for more ergonomically happy wearing... as a matter of fact, they normally only have really boring solid colors, and I love this LIMITED EDITION print, so.... : is it time to buy a carrier yet? I mean, I can always sell it if the adoption falls through, right?

We're Tiffani , Mark , Lucy (9/99) , Dexter (8/01) ,and Zachary Marvin (3/07) and Naomi Rose (6/09), home 11/10, by way of Ugandan adoption.

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#101 of 102 Old 07-02-2009, 12:53 PM
 
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that's a really pretty wrap crl!

I bought a few more second hand dresses today, and am picking up a stroller we found for cheap this weekend. I'm assuming we won't want to actually let this child off our body for the first little while , but eventually I figure I might like to have a stroller on hand... still haven't picked out a baby carrier. the options here in NZ are not as wide without paying a fortune for shipping. I think I might get a few pieces of cloth they use for babywearing while in Uganda, but I'm thinking this for more ergonomically happy wearing... as a matter of fact, they normally only have really boring solid colors, and I love this LIMITED EDITION print, so.... : is it time to buy a carrier yet? I mean, I can always sell it if the adoption falls through, right?
That's a really pretty carrier. I briefly thought about buying it, but then I said, "It's white." Something I just can't maintain.

www.thebabywearer.com has a section with instructions on how to make all kinds of baby carriers.

Created an instant family (7/89 and 5/91) in 1997. Made a baby boy 12/05 adopted a baby girl 8/08. Ask me about tandem adoptive nursing. Now living as gluten, dairy, cane sugar, and tomato free vegetarians. Homeschooling and loving it.

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#102 of 102 Old 07-02-2009, 04:12 PM
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that's a really pretty wrap crl!

I bought a few more second hand dresses today, and am picking up a stroller we found for cheap this weekend. I'm assuming we won't want to actually let this child off our body for the first little while , but eventually I figure I might like to have a stroller on hand... still haven't picked out a baby carrier. the options here in NZ are not as wide without paying a fortune for shipping. I think I might get a few pieces of cloth they use for babywearing while in Uganda, but I'm thinking this for more ergonomically happy wearing... as a matter of fact, they normally only have really boring solid colors, and I love this LIMITED EDITION print, so.... : is it time to buy a carrier yet? I mean, I can always sell it if the adoption falls through, right?

Thanks! That's a lovely carrier! I'm operating on the theory that everything I buy before the baby comes home is for any baby and so if we have a failed attempt or two along the way that's okay, the stuff is for the baby we eventually adopt. (Though I know I won't be so calm about it IRL.)

Catherine
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