I parked in the "Expectant Mothers" space at Babies R' Us - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 08-05-2009, 04:50 PM
 
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Congrats OP! I think what you did is very cute.

Mama to Sunshine (9/06), the Duke (4/09), and little chickadee (9/12).
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Old 08-05-2009, 04:56 PM
 
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Personally, I think those spots are offensive towards adoptive families, so good for you, Alvenchrst.

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Old 08-05-2009, 05:07 PM
 
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Originally Posted by TCMoulton View Post
Also, as I found out with my 2 pregnancies, there are many days where back pain can be excruciating yet disappear the next day
I have that too. Price of being fat . Walking is good for all of us.

I am not trying to minimize real pain. My pain is actually the result of being in a car accident five years ago. I haven't had a day without a headache since. My headache comes from a neck ache, which also extends into my back. It is excrutiating. Sometimes I feel like I need to add a "shock system" to my body to minimize just the impact of feet touching the ground.

But...
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So that people with difficulty walking into the store can have yet another errand they have to run?
That's how it is for *everybody* who needs a handicap parking spot. Pregnancy doesn't put anybody above that.

And again, for most folks pregnancy is a healthy condition of life, not a medical condition. It's amazing that fact would be debated on MDC.

As said earlier, it would be best if everyone not in need of a sport closer to the door would use the spots further away.

I'm pro-adoption reform, but not anti-adoption.
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Old 08-05-2009, 05:11 PM
 
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P.S. This thread is way off topic. For those coming in for the sole purpose of debating this (I'm here as as one adoptive parent celebrating another adoptive parent's experience of entry into expectant motherhood, and debating only because I feel she is being attacked), perhaps a new thread should be started elsewhere for this discussion.

I'm pro-adoption reform, but not anti-adoption.
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Old 08-06-2009, 07:00 PM
 
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:: OP - Good for you! I hope that you are thrown a baby shower as well. ::

Our signs at Babies R' Us do not say Pregnant Women; they say Expectant Mothers Parking. They are designed to make a woman getting ready to be a mother fell special. OP is preparing to be a mom, therefore she qualifies.
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Old 08-07-2009, 03:48 AM
 
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Yeah, I'm on team "good on ya OP"! : and congrats!!!
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Old 08-07-2009, 04:46 AM
 
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Awww.. I think it's okay hun! I can tell from your post you are very excited, and I don't want anyone bringing you down for this! You are an expecting mama! I'm sure if the place was crowded you wouldn't have done that.. so no harm!! Enjoy this exciting time!!! :
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Old 08-07-2009, 10:57 AM
 
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Originally Posted by runnerbrit View Post

Our signs at Babies R' Us do not say Pregnant Women; they say Expectant Mothers Parking. They are designed to make a woman getting ready to be a mother fell special. OP is preparing to be a mom, therefore she qualifies.
:

OP Congratulations!

-Janna, independent mother of dd, Ms. Mattie Sky born on my 25th birthday, 06*23*2000. My Mama Feb.21,1938-Sept.10,2006
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Old 08-07-2009, 01:39 PM
 
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Originally Posted by runnerbrit View Post
:: OP - Good for you! I hope that you are thrown a baby shower as well. ::

Our signs at Babies R' Us do not say Pregnant Women; they say Expectant Mothers Parking. They are designed to make a woman getting ready to be a mother fell special. OP is preparing to be a mom, therefore she qualifies.
Agreed!
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Old 08-08-2009, 06:07 PM
 
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To be honest, I would have not parked there. I see those spots as places for very pregnant women who are having trouble walking...and that's it. I've been pregnant four times and never felt the need to park in them as long as I've been able to walk and get around without pain. In fact, I can only think of one of my pregnancies where I had a condition that made it very uncomfortable to walk, where I used special parking spaces towards the end - and I was very appreciative.

I've always figured that pregnant / expecting or not, regardless of the number of small kids in tow, those spaces are for people who *need* it for physical reasons. They're not status symbol spots because probably over half of their clientele is probably expecting in one way or another, and if that was the intent of those spots, over half the parking lot would have signs.
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Old 08-08-2009, 07:13 PM
 
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to the OP, i think its fine. Would i have done it? No i dont think i would have been brave enough!

But you ARE expecting, and if thats what it took to make it a little more tangible for you....more power to ya! You made it clear that the lot wasnt busy, so you werent taking a parking space from anyone else. So the "but those spaces are for people who really NEED them!" isnt even an issue. (and handicap spaces are protected by law, so thats another thread entirely.)

Its hard, when you are waiting to adopt, and yet dont have this tangible physical thing to point to and say "see i'm having a baby!"....after i was first homestudy-approved, i felt EXACTLY the same as when i got that positive pg test...sort of dizzy, walking around in a haze, knowing my life has now changed forever but no one can tell. I went to the library to pick up some books on older child adoption i had reserved, and as i was checking out, excitedly told the clerk "i need these books because i just got approved to adopt a child!" and she just looked at me, confused, and said nothing. Bummer. (Of course its possible she didnt hear me, or didnt know what to say, etc...but still....it would have been SO NICE to hear "Congratulations!")...i had a better experience talking to the guy at the post office when i was sending out homestudies.

but its hard, when you are waiting, when you are "expecting" but are not pg. My family pretty much forgot i was adopting, because it took so long. You can only maintain that first level of excitement so long, and then its easy to get depressed if you run into road blocks or if it takes a long time. There are long stretches where NOTHING new is going on, where you are just....waiting. At least w/ pg there is some new development each week or month, with a final end date. When i was trying to adopt from the foster care system it got to the point where i wondered if they would EVER give me a child.

So do what you have to do to celebrate yourself as an Expectant Mom!

Katherine, single homeschooling mom to Boy Genius (17) geek.gif  Thing One (6) and Thing Two (6) fencing.gif and one outgoing Girl (12) bikenew.gif and hoping for more through foster care and adoption homebirth.jpgadoptionheart-1.gif 
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Old 08-11-2009, 12:49 PM
 
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Originally Posted by runnerbrit View Post
:: OP - Good for you! I hope that you are thrown a baby shower as well. ::

Our signs at Babies R' Us do not say Pregnant Women; they say Expectant Mothers Parking. They are designed to make a woman getting ready to be a mother fell special. OP is preparing to be a mom, therefore she qualifies.
I agree! Congratulations!

Vallere: Blessed Wife, Doula, Homeschool Mom to Ian Gray(11/20/05), Zollie Isaac(10/14/07), Anna Zophia (8/14/09):, and a GIRL coming June 2010!
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Old 08-17-2009, 02:28 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Alvenchrst View Post
Yes I totally did! I felt slightly ridiculous in my head for doing so since I figure the reason Babies R' Us puts those spaces right up front is because pregnancy takes a physical toll and it's nice to not walk so far. I'm sure nobody noticed or cared, but it was kind of fun. I had my two youngest with me anyway and it was helpful, and I was going there specifically to buy something for the future adoptive child and I do technically consider myself an "Expectant Mother." Come to think of it, it's nice that they put Expectant Mother when they could have put, Pregnant Mother.

Anyone else ever done this before?? Or told someone "I'm Expecting"?

I did it. I was in the parking lot 10 minutes before the store opened and thought "heck, I AM expecting, so why not?" No worries about other preggo expecting mamas...they had 100-minus-1 other parking spots to choose from.

It's fun to reclaim a little of the pregnancy excitement and perks that society gives women with big uteruses.

RedOak ~ Momma to DS (8) , DS (4) , DD (3) , & DD 9/10 ~
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Old 08-17-2009, 06:31 AM
 
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Tricia, married to DH. 2MC's & 4 yrs ttc...finally mom to Andrew6/06 and Benjamin 10/09. Adopted bro & sis 2002. My 2 fav. words: Spay and Neuter! I'm an Ultimate Viewer, 2010!

 

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Old 08-17-2009, 11:56 AM
 
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I'm 8 months pregnant and purposefully avoid these spots even when I have my three-year old with me (whom I still have to carry across the parking lot because he's scared of cars). I'm fit and I really resent feeling like my pregnancy is some condition that makes me "special" or otherwise incapacitated. I can understand that some women are in serious discomfort or pain (I will not argue that) but I would never feel entitled to special treatment because I'm carrying a child. So I think you did right - if it made you feel good, you're as entitled to the spot as anyone who is pregnant.

Mommy to The Boy (August 2006) and Another Boy (November 2009)
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Old 08-23-2009, 09:44 PM
 
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All the parking spots I've seen around where I live are for 'expectant mothers or caregivers with small children' I had no physical problems while pregnant so never used the parking spots then. I walked 2km a day up until I gave birth (wanted that baby OUT!) But with a 30 lb 15 month old I am really grateful for them!
I don't think it's silly you used the parking spot. You *are* expecting after all! And I think all of those parking spots should be for those with small children as well as that makes things more difficult in my experience.
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Old 09-07-2009, 08:45 PM
 
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i did it...and it felt really good to me totally fair in my opinion!

mom to 2 pooches, one wild and awesome little boy kid.gif who joined our family through the miracle of adoption, and expecting 2 miracle babies in spring 2013 after 7 years of ttc!belly.gif

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Old 09-07-2009, 11:14 PM
 
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Congratulations!

I think what you did is fine. You ARE an expectant mother, and as you pointed out, the signs don't say anything at all about being pregnant. The only place I have ever seen those signs is BRU, so it's not like I go out running errands and expecting to find a good spot just because I am (36 weeks) pregnant and sometimes in pain and sometimes uncomfortable.
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Old 09-07-2009, 11:21 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Kaleanani View Post
I think it's sweet that the OP is so excited that she's going to have a baby soon. You can just tell the enthusiasm coming from her post!

However, as someone who has had two agonizing pregnancies, I can more than vouch for the fact that those spots (rare as they may be around here) can be lifesavers.
: i say since it was so early and there were no other cars in the parking lot, you were just fine. i assume if a 9month preggo drove by, there would be plenty of spots for them. good for you!
congrats on your upcoming bundle of joy! :

"The most important work you and I will ever do will be within the walls of our own homes." -Harold B. Lee
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Old 09-07-2009, 11:33 PM
 
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I think those spots are offensive towards adoptive families 
wow! never thought of that. i thought they were like handicapped spots but for people with temporary handicaps related to pregnancy...like women on bedrest, one's with hips that are falling out of the sockets due to the relxin in their bodies, or other problems.

::
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Old 09-19-2009, 05:46 PM
 
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For those of us who have never been pregnant, we get almost no special treatment when we're expectant mothers through adoption. I've frequently thought about doing what the OP did. Sometimes it can be hard to hear from people who adopted and have biological children. Try to put yourselves in our shoes, please, and realize that we need some acknowledgement too.
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Old 09-19-2009, 06:30 PM
 
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You know...ive never thought those were for pregnant mama's who have trouble walking - Im in the crowd that doesnt look at pregnancy as a hendicap.

I always thought...babies need a lot of crap, there is a lot of large purchases most familes make (strollers, carseats, cribs, baths...yadda yadda..etc..etc..) I always thought those spots were there so people buy all the big stuff wouldnt have to carry it so far..or so the toys r us guys who help you out wouldnt have to go so far...

Lindsay: DS#1 (06/06) DD#1 (09/07) DS#2 (10/08) DD#2 (06/09). AND A BABY DUE NOVEMBER 2013

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Old 09-19-2009, 07:44 PM
 
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not an adoptive mom here, but I think its fine that the op took the spot. If a pregnant women is needing to walk less, then its very easy to get a temporary tag for handicapped parking.
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Old 09-19-2009, 08:52 PM
 
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I've always thought it's the mom juggling a baby and a toddler who really deserves easy access parking.

That having been said, expectant is expectant. Enjoy those spots, mamas (both bio and adoptive!)

And congrats to the OP who will obviously be a great mom to her new little one!
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Old 09-19-2009, 09:05 PM
 
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Yay, OP! Congratulations! I know the BRU near me (or at least the one near me when I was pregnant) had like, 9 of those spots and they were never all full. I usually didn't park in them anyways because I felt like I needed the exercise.. I'd like to think that you wouldn't have taken the last spot on a crowded day, but I'd like to think that most pregnant moms who don't *need* a close up spot would leave the last spot for someone who may need it more.. Like a pp said- expecting is expecting! You deserve special treatment too!
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Old 09-20-2009, 06:55 AM
 
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I think the parent parking is a way for other drivers to be aware that kids are exiting and entering the vehicle and that strollers/carseats/baby gear is most likely going to touch your car!
I park there if available but I definitely don't drive around until one becomes available. ALso when i was in the late stages of pregnancy sometimes other cars would park so close to ours that i actually had to rub my poor belly along the cars to get in and out... SO parent parking isn't for the lazy it is for the parents/expecting and new to have a little help in their day.
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Old 09-20-2009, 11:24 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Alvenchrst View Post
Wow, i had no idea a parking spot could be so polarizing! lol

adoption parenting aside, I'm thankful that in the States we have handicap parking and accessibility when most places in the world don't have it. My sis-in-law has extreme hyperemisis (nausea) and got a handicap placard for her pregnancy because she truly "needed" it. I'm sorry for some of the tough spots you mamas have been in, motherhood and life can throw difficult things our way.
I had extreme hyperemesis and pubic symphasis and still couldnt get a handicapped placard(And my ob wouldnt even give me a note excusing me from work, because 'she worked through her pregnancy') im glad that other mamas experiencing these problems are able to get temp. handicapped passes though.

and on the original topic...most of our local spots say "for expectant mothers or mothers of young children" so since i have a little bit, i do park there if i cant find another spot.

Heavily tattooed and Dready Mama to my girls. YES we are STILL NURSING! love to and
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Old 09-20-2009, 12:02 PM
 
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Originally Posted by vbactivist View Post
not an adoptive mom here, but I think its fine that the op took the spot. If a pregnant women is needing to walk less, then its very easy to get a temporary tag for handicapped parking.
That's just not true, it is not that easy.

If the parking lot was empty, I think the OP grabbing herself a little joy via a parking space is just fine.
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Old 09-20-2009, 08:34 PM
 
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That's just not true, it is not that easy.

If the parking lot was empty, I think the OP grabbing herself a little joy via a parking space is just fine.
If the expectant mother is truly in need of a placard, then the ob has the ability to order one for her. the pp who said her ob wouldn't because she "worked through her pregnancy"; needed to find a different ob.
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Old 09-20-2009, 10:17 PM
 
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If the expectant mother is truly in need of a placard, then the ob has the ability to order one for her. the pp who said her ob wouldn't because she "worked through her pregnancy"; needed to find a different ob.
(i really dont want to derail the thread-but i will say that switching obs was not an option for me, though i did have parallel care with a great midwife in the area.)

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