I parked in the "Expectant Mothers" space at Babies R' Us - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 04:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes I totally did! I felt slightly ridiculous in my head for doing so since I figure the reason Babies R' Us puts those spaces right up front is because pregnancy takes a physical toll and it's nice to not walk so far. I'm sure nobody noticed or cared, but it was kind of fun. I had my two youngest with me anyway and it was helpful, and I was going there specifically to buy something for the future adoptive child and I do technically consider myself an "Expectant Mother." Come to think of it, it's nice that they put Expectant Mother when they could have put, Pregnant Mother.

Anyone else ever done this before?? Or told someone "I'm Expecting"?

Ashley, Jesus loving mama to Jaden (8) Trace (6) and Liam (3) and fost/adopt twins Talia and Oliva (1).  Happily married for a decade! 

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#2 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 05:24 PM
 
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I didn't and honestly, if I was pregnant and really needed that spot I'd be pissed. I understand why you did it, and why it felt right to you, but I wouldn't have done it.
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#3 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 05:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It was 9:30 am and only 2 cars in the parking lot . . .

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#4 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 05:43 PM
 
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Dh and I stopped by one evening when I was about 8 months pregnant and the lot was full. The car in front of us pulled into the last "Expectant Mothers" spot and the only person who got out of the car was a fit-looking young man. : Dh said something to him and he looked at the sign, looked at me, and shrugged before walking in the store.

At least you are a woman! For all anyone else knew, you were early in your pregnancy. Pus, you had two other children with you and the lot was practically empty. I don't see anything wrong with it. And congrats on the new babe!

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#5 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 06:38 PM
 
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I say good for you! I have always found those spots kind of silly. our grocery store has pharmacy spots. I will park in them if available and there isn't anything else close by.

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#6 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 06:48 PM
 
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I didn't and honestly, if I was pregnant and really needed that spot I'd be pissed. I understand why you did it, and why it felt right to you, but I wouldn't have done it.
Yes. This. Except I can't understand why you did it - especially when you acknowledge that pregnancy can take a physical toll on someone and that's probably why stores sometimes have these spots.

As someone who has been nine and a half months pregnant with a pubic symphasis separation, I can tell you that having to walk can be agonizing for someone who's very pregnant. It was uncomfortable before my pubic symphasis split, but after it did, it was agonizing. And sometimes I still had to do it because I needed things before the baby came. When I needed those spots, I REALLY appreciated them.

Come on. There were two cars in the lot, and you couldn't be bothered to park in a different spot? I understand you're expecting a child too, but if you know those spots are really meant for women who really need them, then why use them? I have the exact same reaction, by the way, to someone who is pregnant but feels fine and can walk just fine without any problems.
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#7 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 06:51 PM
 
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I think as a silly one time thing in an empty parking lot, no biggie.

In general, as a political/social statement in an on-going way? mean. I had pubic separation like the PP and a deployed husband - if I could not find front seat parking I'd have to park and wait for someone closer to move their car and hope I caught it before some new driver. Those spaces, lifesaver for those of us with difficult pregnancies.

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#8 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 07:09 PM
 
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ehhh. all the ones around here say "moms to be or parents with small children." you fit both groups, so I say go ahead.

i will still very occasionally use the spot (my little one is 3) because it can be dangerous to have him trail me through a busy parking lot, so i figure the less time he is dodging and weaving cars the better.
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#9 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 07:27 PM
 
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Nope, we don't even have those spots here. Only handicap spots and regular.
But if we did have them I'd only use them if I was in need, like being very pregnant and having troubles walking etc. It's the same as the handicap spots in my head, those that actually are entitled/in need of them uses them and the rest of us should stay away. (They are actually there for a reason, etc.)

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#10 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 07:27 PM
 
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I think it's sweet that the OP is so excited that she's going to have a baby soon. You can just tell the enthusiasm coming from her post!

However, as someone who has had two agonizing pregnancies, I can more than vouch for the fact that those spots (rare as they may be around here) can be lifesavers. And I'm sorry, but when you have no support system, and no one to pick up the slack, sometimes you do have to go out in public, even if you're in a LOT of pain. I remember going grocery shopping once because I had nothing in the house to eat - literally. DH was in the hospital and I hadn't felt good enough to shop for weeks and I was out of EVERYTHING. It took me about an hour to throw a couple of things in the cart, and I threw up (discreetly as I could) several times in the process. Every step was sheer willpower. People gave me dirty looks, but did anyone offer to help? On the other hand, what am I supposed to do, starve myself or my baby? Not every case is that extreme, I realize completely. However, especially if it's last minute and you're that pregnant and you have to get something before baby arrives. Or maybe you don't really NEED it but you're nesting and you might as well NEED it because it seems really that imperative.

I view those spaces as disabled parking, honestly, so I wouldn't take the spot normally. But in a totally empty parking lot early in the morning, that's not a big deal and I wouldn't bat an eye at it.

Congratulations, OP, on expecting.

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#11 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 07:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow, i had no idea a parking spot could be so polarizing! lol

adoption parenting aside, I'm thankful that in the States we have handicap parking and accessibility when most places in the world don't have it. My sis-in-law has extreme hyperemisis (nausea) and got a handicap placard for her pregnancy because she truly "needed" it. I'm sorry for some of the tough spots you mamas have been in, motherhood and life can throw difficult things our way.

Ashley, Jesus loving mama to Jaden (8) Trace (6) and Liam (3) and fost/adopt twins Talia and Oliva (1).  Happily married for a decade! 

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#12 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 07:30 PM
 
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So for those essentially saying if you have a difficult pregnancy you shouldn't go out how do you feel about the handicap in general? Life difficulties or no life has to go on. Society trying to make it easier on those of us with physical issues is the nice thing to do.

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#13 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 07:30 PM
 
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Nope, we don't even have those spots here. Only handicap spots and regular.
But if we did have them I'd only use them if I was in need, like being very pregnant and having troubles walking etc. It's the same as the handicap spots in my head, those that actually are entitled/in need of them uses them and the rest of us should stay away. (They are actually there for a reason, etc.)
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#14 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 07:34 PM
 
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So for those essentially saying if you have a difficult pregnancy you shouldn't go out how do you feel about the handicap in general? Life difficulties or no life has to go on. Society trying to make it easier on those of us with physical issues is the nice thing to do.


No, I just don't think that you can get pissed at an expectant mother for parking in the expectant mother parking just because she's not as physically incapacitated as some other expectant mothers.

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#15 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 07:37 PM
 
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Wow, i had no idea a parking spot could be so polarizing! lol

adoption parenting aside, I'm thankful that in the States we have handicap parking and accessibility when most places in the world don't have it. My sis-in-law has extreme hyperemisis (nausea) and got a handicap placard for her pregnancy because she truly "needed" it. I'm sorry for some of the tough spots you mamas have been in, motherhood and life can throw difficult things our way.
So did I. And got one when I injured my sciatic nerve after birth.

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#16 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 07:44 PM
 
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No, I just don't think that you can get pissed at an expectant mother for parking in the expectant mother parking just because she's not as physically incapacitated as some other expectant mothers.
Really? When the entire purpose of the spot is to help those with a physical condition? The mentally disabled don't reap the same benefits as the physically when it comes to handicap spots because they are in place to make public outings easier for those with a physical need. Now that is not to say those without a physical need are less-than or whatever. Still they are different circumstances.

BTW, congrats OP! :

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#17 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 07:50 PM
 
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No, I just don't think that you can get pissed at an expectant mother for parking in the expectant mother parking just because she's not as physically incapacitated as some other expectant mothers.
When I was pregnant such that every step I took meant that much more agony, you'd better believe I would have been.
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#18 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 08:25 PM
 
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Since those spots are provided as a service to customers and not out of any sort of legal obligation (or even with a sign that says "pregnant moms with issues making it hard to walk), I don't think there's a problem with an expectant mom who is not pregnant (or even a newly post partum mom) parking in them.

Congrats, expectant mom OP!
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#19 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 08:27 PM
 
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Really? When the entire purpose of the spot is to help those with a physical condition?
I don't really know what the purpose of the spots are. I think there's a huge difference between these and disabled parking.
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#20 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 08:42 PM
 
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I don't really know what the purpose of the spots are. I think there's a huge difference between these and disabled parking.
How so? How would it make sense to have these spots closer to the entrance if only for show? I don't think these spots are about status or show and I hope someday in the near future they will have the same legality surrounding them as the traditional handicap ones.

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#21 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 08:43 PM
 
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Really? When the entire purpose of the spot is to help those with a physical condition?
How do you know this?, the spots are for expectant mothers in general, are you saying a woman in the first trimester is not pregnant enough to use them?,I mostly think it's a little thing to make moms feel special.

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#22 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 08:50 PM
 
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How so? How would it make sense to have these spots closer to the entrance if only for show? I don't think these spots are about status or show and I hope someday in the near future they will have the same legality surrounding them as the traditional handicap ones.
I hope they don't. A normal pregnancy is not a disability. What would be great would be if it was easy to have temporary disabled placards for those pregnant and post partum women who require them. FTR, I had severe pelvic pain from around 20 weeks gestation to about 20 weeks after my last pregnancy. So it's not that I don't have any understanding of the issues that can crop up during pregnancy. I just think that extending the equivilent od disabled spots to every pregnant woman would be 1) hard to enforce and 2) is unnecessary since most pregnant women can do just fine walking a few more feet into a store. If a woman can't, then she has a legitimate disability and should be elligible for an actual disabled placard.

As the spaces exist now, they are PR for the companies who put them in. Baby's R Us is saying "Hey you're pregnant and deserve to be pampered." And that's great and probably true, but I'd hate to see that pampering codified legally.
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#23 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 08:53 PM
 
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Near us some say "Pregnant 6 months or more" so my assumption is that it is based on the physical challenges that come with being LARGE and the all-to-common difficulties that come with it.

I don't think the OP enjoying it in an practically empty parking lot is an issue, if it becomes an ongoing political statement in the adoption community I think there would be a lack of empathy in that situation that brings up frustrations for many.

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A normal pregnancy may not be a disability in the literal sense but it does bring about difficulty in physical life for the most part.

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Near us some say "Pregnant 6 months or more" so my assumption is that it is based on the physical challenges that come with being LARGE and the all-to-common difficulties that come with it.

I don't think the OP enjoying it in an practically empty parking lot is an issue, if it becomes an ongoing political statement in the adoption community I think there would be a lack of empathy in that situation that brings up frustrations for many.

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#26 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 08:57 PM
 
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Well then, what about a woman with severe morning sickness in the first trimester? Or what about a not pregnant obese woman? What about a woman who is in her 7th month but not showing? Who would enforce this?
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#27 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 09:05 PM
 
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Well then, what about a woman with severe morning sickness in the first trimester? Or what about a not pregnant obese woman? What about a woman who is in her 7th month but not showing? Who would enforce this?
It's my personal belief we need to really work out the kinks in this and make it more official. So I think women should have the opportunity to receive a similar plaque from their docs as the handicap. That's the end goal. As for now, however, when we are still working towards this it's going to have to rest on individuals to act with courtesy. Of course even if it is made more of a legal issue like the handicap spots already are there are going to be those who still decide to ignore it and park there anyway. A lot of times they get away with it, too. And like with the handicap spots some people are not immediately obviously psychically handicap which is where the plaque comes in handy to begin with. My grandfather has difficulty walking and wears braces on his legs but when he wears pants (99% of the time) you can't see the braces and he has been confronted in parking lots before by passer byers demanding to know why he is parking there. No way is going to be perfect but common sense and at least the benefit of the doubt would hopefully lead most people to the conclusion that a woman in one of those spots with a plaque (or for now without one) without a belly is in the early stages of pregnancy.

For now though all we have are those spots.

As for an obese person I do believe they are eligible for a handicap plaque as I know a few people in my life who have these for this reason.

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#28 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 09:06 PM
 
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I think a little common sense should be applied to all this.

I didn't use those spots when I was pregnant because I never felt bad. I saved them for the women who felt bad, no matter what their stage of pregnancy. I think it's a kind gesture (mixed with some marketing) to set aside these spots. I think it's a kind gesture to respect them for people who NEED them.

I think the op was just trying to have fun while expecting, and if the parking lot was empty, it's not such a big deal, but I do think it puts adoptive moms in a bad light because we don't NEED them.

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#29 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 09:11 PM
 
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It's my personal belief we need to really work out the kinks in this and make it more official. So I think women should have the opportunity to receive a similar plaque from their docs as the handicap. T
I guess I just don't understand why it would be necessary to have special spaces just for pregnant women, when the majority of pregnant women don't need them, or don't need them for the bulk of their pregnancies. as it stands, I believe pregnant women with medical issues are elligible for disabled placards and can use the existing spots. When I was dealing with my pelvic pain, my OB mentioned it to me in passing, but I never persued.
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#30 of 98 Old 08-02-2009, 09:14 PM
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I have SPD which makes every step I take painful, I'm 9 1/2 months pregnant, and yes, I did have to go to get a few last minute baby things recently (in my case, I needed a boppy, baby lotion, and some breast milk storage bags since someone asked why someone that pregnant would be out shopping). I would have been upset if I knew that the expectant mother parking spot was taken and the person who took it was not pregnant or handicapped.
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