Hi, I'm hoping someone here can offer some btdt advice, words of wisdom or just commiserate. I was foster mom to a little girl with some mild special needs for close to a year. She left my home to transition back to life with her mom (or so I thought) a few months ago. I've known this little girl and her family for over six years. Little girl was a toddler when we met her. Through my work with children with special needs I became a regular caregiver for this child until she was spending a week out of every month with my family for the past two+ years. We are very close to her. Her mom struggled with depression and various mental health issues which as it turned out were not her only issues. when teen big brother ran into legal issues he was removed from the home. This led to increased cps involvement with the mom. When I was called with the request to foster this child mom was under the influence, the house filled with truckloads of trash and floors covered with animal feces. I should add here that mom never allowed ANYONE to enter her home so for the 6 years or so that I worked with this family the extent of moms issues were hidden from me and pretty much anyone outside of her family.
Anyhoo, while in my home little girl BLOSSOMED. She required oral surgery because her teeth were so damaged, her behaviors at school dramatically improved and by all proffessional accounts she made huge improvements socially, physically and academically. ..Fast forward to December. I found out that Mom was still having issues which led me to believe ffd was back in state care. As it turned out she had never made it back home but has been with a third foster home. fortunately her current foster mom is very caring and is meeting little girls needs. With encouragement from the foster mom and permission from the social worker we've been able to arrange for little girl to stay with us a few days during this Christmas break. We are all so excited.! I was also told that tpr hearing is scheduled for early next month as it will have been a year for little girl in care and mom isn't any better. Dad has a restraining order against him-he beat little girl up in front of witnesses two years ago. He has been recently allowed two supervised visits but has agreed to give up his parental rights if mom loses hers. I was told to formally write to the person at cps responsible for child placement to state my intent to adopt should tpr occur. Foster mom, worker etc. all approve of this but of course cannot make any commitment to placing her with me until tpr has officially occurred. Legally the goal till then needs to be reuinification.
Here is my recent worry. Mom has repeatedly failed at previous treatment plans and reaching goals for unsupervised, overnight visits. Until yesterday when she called to wish her dd a merry christmas she had not attempted to contact her dd for over three months. My worry is that she knows tpr is coming up and is going through the motions just to hold things up. Do any of you more experienced moms know if this one contact with her daughter after months of none at all, along with repeated failures to give up substance abuse and her history of severe neglect will be enough to stop tpr? I'm so stressed out and worried for this kiddo! It doesn't help that abusive, drug using Dad insists on retaining his legal rights as long as mom has hers(power struggle between the two is motivating him-not love for dd IMO). He doesn't want to "lose" if his ex wife doesn't "lose."
This makes so little sense to me!