Anyhoo, while in my home little girl BLOSSOMED. She required oral surgery because her teeth were so damaged, her behaviors at school dramatically improved and by all proffessional accounts she made huge improvements socially, physically and academically. ..Fast forward to December. I found out that Mom was still having issues which led me to believe ffd was back in state care. As it turned out she had never made it back home but has been with a third foster home. fortunately her current foster mom is very caring and is meeting little girls needs. With encouragement from the foster mom and permission from the social worker we've been able to arrange for little girl to stay with us a few days during this Christmas break. We are all so excited.! I was also told that tpr hearing is scheduled for early next month as it will have been a year for little girl in care and mom isn't any better. Dad has a restraining order against him-he beat little girl up in front of witnesses two years ago. He has been recently allowed two supervised visits but has agreed to give up his parental rights if mom loses hers. I was told to formally write to the person at cps responsible for child placement to state my intent to adopt should tpr occur. Foster mom, worker etc. all approve of this but of course cannot make any commitment to placing her with me until tpr has officially occurred. Legally the goal till then needs to be reuinification.
Here is my recent worry. Mom has repeatedly failed at previous treatment plans and reaching goals for unsupervised, overnight visits. Until yesterday when she called to wish her dd a merry christmas she had not attempted to contact her dd for over three months. My worry is that she knows tpr is coming up and is going through the motions just to hold things up. Do any of you more experienced moms know if this one contact with her daughter after months of none at all, along with repeated failures to give up substance abuse and her history of severe neglect will be enough to stop tpr? I'm so stressed out and worried for this kiddo! It doesn't help that abusive, drug using Dad insists on retaining his legal rights as long as mom has hers(power struggle between the two is motivating him-not love for dd IMO). He doesn't want to "lose" if his ex wife doesn't "lose."
This makes so little sense to me!
Good luck!! It sounds like you already have quite a bond, an would make a great forever family
Waldorf Mom to 9 blessings ~6 by birth and 3 by fost/adopt~
Her current foster mom is absolutely wonderful-a truly warm and caring person. Little girl is with us for a few days and we are just loving on her. Her foster mom told me she'd welcome us having visits every 2-3 weeks. We'll have to make sure DCF is o.k with that but I don't see why they'd object. At least we'll be able to remain constant in her life and she'll know that we continue to love her. If TPR goes through as we hope I'm thinking it will look favorable to the judge that we've maintained our relationship with her.
I'm just so nervous that Mom will once again claim to be getting her act together (and I wish that were true but after a year I'm very skeptical) and the judge will give her yet more time. Little girl NEEDS stability and a forever home. These sporadic visits and uncertantly are so stressful to her-particularly with her special needs. At this point I'm just trying to be grateful for the time we can spend with her and trust that God is watching out for her.
It's hard tho'
Created an instant family (7/89 and 5/91) in 1997. Made a baby boy 12/05 adopted a baby girl 8/08. Ask me about tandem adoptive nursing. Now living as gluten, dairy, cane sugar, and tomato free vegetarians. Homeschooling and loving it.
little girl ended up in her current foster family. Because of the moms previous behavior and my homes distance from her district little girl was not returned to my home. Emotionally, I don't think I could have put my children through that roller coaster again if the offer had been made. When I learned several weeks later that she was still in care I contacted her worker who put me in touch with her foster family. If TPR happens as far as I and the foster family know my family is first in line to adopt. We will continue to have visits with little girl as often as allowed. I cannot realistically foster her again but should she need a permanent family we hope to be that family. With the way her case has gone from the beginning I'm trying not to count on anything but I can't help but be a little hopeful.
There are no guarantees. Fostering is all about expecting the unexpected.
There is so much that the law makes it seem is "cut and dry," but rarely is it. Our case was supposed to be pretty straight forward, and yet we've veered and meandered for a year and a half.
But most of all, don't give up hope for her or stop fighting for justice for her. I may be doubtful, but I will still be my dfd's loudest advocate right through reunification and back into the system, if that's what it takes. Never stop fighting.
Wife to , mama to , , , and - bonus mommy to !
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