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TPR Hearing

5K views 18 replies 6 participants last post by  christophersmom 
#1 ·
Did you attend the TPR hearing for your foster/adopted child? I thought the court date was while we were on vacation so never gave it much thought, but it turns out we are in town. The child's worker had mentioned maybe we shouldn't go because it may be contentious. But, our worker said we could go and kinda encouraged us to go. Did anyone attend their fc / adopted child's TPR? I can't imagine how sad it will be as I know her mama loves her and I guess they re-hash all the reasons why the child is being TPR'd. But I also think it may help with us explaining to DFD down the road how much her mama did love/want her just couldn't.

Need some guidance as this is all so confusing and just seems to be going so much faster than I could ever have imagined.
 
#2 ·
I did to all of mine. I think it's really important, especially since you haven't spent time with her birth mother. At Polliwog's father's, I was asked to testify and then I met with him, his family, the lawyers, and DSS right after the TPR decision. His was the only one that was contested, though.

If you end up going and want someone there for moral support, let me know. I'll go with you guys.
 
#4 ·
just for clarification, you wouldn't bring the child, right? I would think that you being there would be good, though hard. so mostly I just have
for you, and wish you well...
 
#5 ·
No I would not bring child. She is too young (7 months) to understand anyway and I can only imagine it would bring more pain for her bio mom. We are sure she will be there, she hasn't missed a court date or visit yet that I know of. Our SW said we could just sit in the back of the court room and watch. It will be hard, in the end it will be a happy outcome for us, but not for the mom and I really do feel so bad for her.
 
#7 ·
I would go, if i were you.

With my first son, the foster worker never told me when court was, never informed me of anything. I showed up for a visit with a relative and she said "so court was today, they TPR'd " ...his case was very straightforward, bmom wasnt involved, the hearing probably took all of ten minutes. Essentially he was "abandoned"...so i probably didnt miss much, however i still wish i would have gone so that at least i would know what was said.

With my current FS...the trial for termination was scheduled for just a few months after he was placed with me. Normally, they wrap things up pretty quickly, they had scheduled two dates ten days apart, the second date was just in case they didnt finish on the first. Well, we had two dates in October, a couple in December, one in Feb and just finished last Tuesday!
Due to lots of issues like scheduling conflicts, judge reassigning a new lawyer for the dad, etc.

I was very nervous to go because i didnt know what to expect, but it was very very casual, not once did they start on time, ever...i just sat in the back and observed. The courtroom was VERY small. No one asked anything of me. On the last date, i brought some pics of the kids for the judge, but the clerk wouldnt take them, and said i could ask the judge if she wanted them, but there really wasnt a good time to do that.

I got alot of info i didnt have, and i really felt like i needed to be there to represent the kids...everyone had their own agenda but i just wanted to be the one there solely for them.

The judge ruled right after closing arguments. TPR'd all three parents. I felt really bad. i mean, i pretty much cried through her whole statement. The mom got up and walked out before she was finished and the dad argued with the judge during her ruling. It was ugly. It was awful. I mean...i was "happy" in the sense that meant i get another son (and hopefully, daughter)...but it was not a "happy joy joy" feeling at all. And i'm sooo glad i went because the judge made some very profound statements about the children that i want to write down and have for them in the future. They need to know WHY the judge ruled the way she did. And i'm glad i will be able to tell them, because i was there.

Good luck.
 
#8 ·
I feel bad, I missed it. I couldn't help it though. DFD was hospitalized for suspected pneumonia Tuesday and got discharged 1.5 hours before hearing. There was no way I could make it. DFD is doing well though. I guess I will find out tomorrow what happened.
 
#10 ·
Judge ruled to terminate both parent's rights. So we are one step closer to baby girl. I am a little worried about mom, she never misses a visit and missed Friday after court. Next visit is Friday after next. I am sure I won't hear anything about why. It is extremely difficult knowing that one of the most difficult days for one person will contribute toward one of our happiest (when we get final adoption). We wait 30 days and the SW is planning for us to file for adoption on May 7th.
 
#11 ·
congrats on the termination (well, congrats isnt exactly the right term but i hope you know what i mean...)

Are they continuing visits even after TPR? My kids had just one visit after, they werent even going to give the mom that, but the therapist said it was ok. My fs dad did not get a final visit. Heartbreaking.
 
#12 ·
We have indicated that we are open to a pre-TPR placement provided that the worker/team/DSS lawyer has decided to pursue TPR/permanency in the case. So yes, I am certainly going to attend the TPR hearing if that's how the cases actually progresses. Someday my kid is going to want to know what went down in there, and I'd like to be able to tell them firsthand.

The only exception would be if we are preserving our anonymity for safety reasons, because the birth family has made threats or has attempted to interfere with custody in a previous placement or something like that. I'd like to think that that won't happen, and honestly, I think I'd send a friend (or my BIL who's in law enforcement and could pretend to be there on another pretext), because I think it's just that important for our child to someday be able to talk to a person they trust who heard what the birth family, the lawyers and the judge had to say.
 
#13 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by christophersmom View Post
Judge ruled to terminate both parent's rights. So we are one step closer to baby girl. I am a little worried about mom, she never misses a visit and missed Friday after court. Next visit is Friday after next. I am sure I won't hear anything about why. It is extremely difficult knowing that one of the most difficult days for one person will contribute toward one of our happiest (when we get final adoption). We wait 30 days and the SW is planning for us to file for adoption on May 7th.
Wow, I've never heard of anything moving so quickly in our area. They must really want to get this case off the books (as well as getting M adopted.) Has your case gone in front of the placement committee? That usually comes before you file the petition. Although, I guess you could file and then have it sit until you are officially approved to adopt.

BTW, Polliwog's case should go to the adoption committee later this month or in May. Finalization would happen in either June or August depending on whether I want them to wave the waiting period.
 
#14 ·
"BTW, Polliwog's case should go to the adoption committee later this month or in May. Finalization would happen in either June or August depending on whether I want them to wave the waiting period."



Yeah, OP, that does sounds like a brisk pace by state standards! But I guess it depends on how long your dfd has already lived with you. Our state has a mandatory 6-month period from the date the child is placed in the home until the date the adoption can be finalized. But it doesn't matter if the TPR business happens before placement or goes on after placement - the 6-month clock starts ticking from the committee makes a match, we accept and the child moves into our home.
 
#15 ·
Thanks. I'm waiting to hear if she's approved for subsidy. If she is, then I'll finalize sooner. If not, there's no reason to have the waiting period waved. She's been with me for 2 1/4 years so it's not the length of time she's been with me. In my state (and the OP's) there's a waiting period between the time the petition is filed and finalization. I think it's 90 days (or maybe 45.)
 
#16 ·
It has happened bery, very, very fast! Like whirlwind fast for us, M was placed with us January, so it has been just over three months we've had her, there is no waving the 90 day wait. They did say that it is 90 days wait but courts are backlogged so it could take 4-6 months for finalization. We are so lucky.

I am so excited for you about Polliwog, I hope it goes quickly, she should qualify based on age. Party time?

I am sure it has not gone befoire committee. The GAL comes out again this week, I have one more application to finish (a long one this time, 9 pages already and only half done), and I think the SW has a few things left to do.

Jane, they will continue visits reduced to every other week until finalization. Just mom.
 
#17 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by christophersmom View Post

Jane, they will continue visits reduced to every other week until finalization. Just mom.
Why? That just amazes me...what is the purpose of visits, if the judge has terminated rights? If they arent working on reunification, i dont see why they will have visits until finalization? I thought termination meant that person is no longer the legal parent, so they wouldnt even have standing to visit. Is that typical where you are, or just something special in your case?
 
#18 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by christophersmom View Post
It has happened bery, very, very fast! Like whirlwind fast for us, M was placed with us January, so it has been just over three months we've had her, there is no waving the 90 day wait. They did say that it is 90 days wait but courts are backlogged so it could take 4-6 months for finalization. We are so lucky.

I am so excited for you about Polliwog, I hope it goes quickly, she should qualify based on age. Party time?

I am sure it has not gone before committee. The GAL comes out again this week, I have one more application to finish (a long one this time, 9 pages already and only half done), and I think the SW has a few things left to do.

Jane, they will continue visits reduced to every other week until finalization. Just mom.
Her adoption worker thought that she's qualify using the new criteria but the supervisor (who's filling in since the AW left) said that form is just for determining where the funding would come from IF the child qualifies. So, who knows. She does meet a lot of the criteria on the form but age is way down the list since she's not five. We'll definitely have a party. We did C's at the lake.

Your county definitely does things differently than mine. Here the AW brings the homestudy(ies) before the selection committee before an adoption application is ever filled out. Then, when selected the AW fills out the paperwork. I just signed in a few spots then brought all the paperwork to the Clerk of the Court's office with the $50. A few months later, the AW calls and lets you know that the adoption is final.

And I'm surprised that visits are continuing. That wouldn't happen here either. But, I've never had a child who was having visits when a contested TPR was going to be scheduled.
 
#19 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by queenjane View Post
Why? That just amazes me...what is the purpose of visits, if the judge has terminated rights? If they arent working on reunification, i dont see why they will have visits until finalization? I thought termination meant that person is no longer the legal parent, so they wouldnt even have standing to visit. Is that typical where you are, or just something special in your case?
I don't know if it is typical or just special for M. Since, I didn't know any better it didn't seem odd. Maybe the visits are just a way to wean mom off of them.
 
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