Adoption related-Still food obsessed - Page 9 - Mothering Forums
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#241 of 343 Old 04-28-2011, 09:32 AM
 
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Anna - I think people are coming on the thread and not realizing the whole story - how much you've already gone through and figured out and worked on.  You're doing great and thank you for updating us on you and your DD. 

 

I bet it gets really old to be making food all day!  I get tired of just doing 3 regular meals.  Can you buy a veggie tray or two a week to save you the prep time and cut yourself a break?  I just think you poor mama!  Or cutting up strawberries - can you just teach her to hold the green part as a handle and bite the rest?  I'm lazy and I make my kids do that often. :)

 

Your DD will get through this and you will too.  It'll get better. 

 

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#242 of 343 Old 04-28-2011, 11:26 AM
 
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Thanks for keeping us updated. To me it sounds like you're doing good. I'm rooting for you & your dd & the rest of your family, hope she slows down soon hug.gif

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#243 of 343 Old 04-28-2011, 11:46 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ram3113 View Post

I cannot use her method because we would all have to be eating the same things, and my daughter is on a gluten free diet.  However, I have an appointment with a feeding specialist that specializes in this method, and she counsels people through it (over the phone, etc.).    I am going to have her see how we can modify this method for my daughter.   

 

In response to why "only" Cheerios, I will say again that I give her many, many, other snacks and food.  The Cheerios are only for when the rest of it has run out and we need to go outside, to the store, I need to get out of the kitchen, etc.  Just yesterday, for example, she ate a pint of blueberries during the course of the day, about 10 strawberries,  about a cup of garbanzo beans (yes, she loves them, too), grape tomatoes cut up, carrot sticks (steamed),  sunflower seeds, crackers with almond butter and many other different kinds of snacks.  And this is all between her meals.  But at some point, I need to get out of the kitchen.  By the time I'm done cutting up strawberries, she has finished the ones I have given her, so then I cut more, but at some point I need to go do other things.  

 

And no, I have no fear of her throwing up.  Believe me I have dealt with this many times with my other kids.  It is just the thought that a child will eat that long that is upsetting.  Although it makes me sad that she doesn't want to do anything but eat, it is not anxiety that it causes me.  

 

Anna


You've only been letting your DD self regulate for 6 days. It will probably take abit of time for her to feel more secure about food. It might be less work to have a part of a shelf in the frig that has fruit, veggies or containers of beans that she can get for herself. My 5 year old DD's always self regulated and we let her get food out of the frig starting about age 2. Snack trays are good too, but some things needed to be kept cool and you still have to fix the snack tray. We had a low shelf where snacks were kept, so  DD could get her own dry snacks. You could put the gluten free crackers and cheerios, also maybe sunflower seeds, apples, other dry fruits on a special low shelf.

 

Sorry if I sounded critical. I'm diabetic so all those cheerios sound scary. If you've found gluten free ones they may have a lower glycemic index.

 

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#244 of 343 Old 04-28-2011, 11:55 AM
 
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Anna.... thank you for coming to update and let us know how things are going. I can feel the unhappiness in your tone, and I am so sorry :( I do not have anything to add to the advise given here, it seems like you have tried everything and more to help your daughter.I just wanted to post to offer support. I understand how it feels to feel like you cannot comfort your child, like you are not doing your job as a mother and I am sorry that you have to feel that way.




 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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#245 of 343 Old 04-28-2011, 12:59 PM
 
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Just piping in to say that I think you're doing a great job and I support your decisions 100%.

 

I used to have similar issues to your daughter that were resolved at an older age, but they were resolved and now I have a healthy relationship with food. Don't give up hope!

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#246 of 343 Old 04-28-2011, 01:59 PM
 
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I know you have already spent a ton of money going to doctors, etc, but is there any way you can afford a mother's helper? Even if it is just for a few hours a week I think it might bring your stress level down. You could let the mother's helper assist with feeding your dd while you sit down and read a book, play with your other kids, or just do SOMETHING that doesn't involve food and your dd. I think you really need it!

 

Another thought is do you have friends, family, or a church that you attend that might come in and offer respite care OR just help with food prep? Perhaps if you had 2-3 people that could come over and help you pre-chop a bunch of veggies, fruit, etc and maybe make some freezer meals so you always have something to pull out for supper you wouldn't feel like you are in the kitchen ALL the time.

 

I sympathize, I can't even imagine doing nothing but food prep all day every day.

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#247 of 343 Old 04-28-2011, 05:27 PM
 
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I used to feel like I was spending all day in the kitchen cutting up food, too. What I learned to do was to prepare stuff in a larger batch, then just scoop it out for the kids snacks. I'd cut up all the strawberries, wash all the grapes and set them on the bench in the colander for grazing, put open packets of cereals on the lowest shelf in the pantry, cut the bunch of bananas into single single bananas so they didn't mangle the whole bunch taking one.

 

We do the Ellyn Satter method with a child with a food allergy and it's easy. You just put the serving dishes on the counter in the kitchen instead of the table, and refill anyone's plate when they ask for it. Your daughter doesn't need to know her pasta is coming from the gluten free bowl.

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#248 of 343 Old 04-28-2011, 07:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ram3113 View Post

Thank you to all who have posted helpful suggestions.  I just cannot continue to explain, justify, etc. over and over again.    I am doing the best I can. She gets Gluten Free Cheerios, we are taking a seminar with a practicioner of the Ellyn Satter method, I give her gluten free pasta when we are having pasta, etc., etc., etc. 

 

  I wish you all well,

 

  Anna


I'm so sorry you have to keep coming back and defending yourself.  You are doing amazing things for you dd and it sounds like an overwhelming situation.  I really wish people would lay off the criticism about the gf cheerios.  For goodness sake I think we all rely on some convenience foods when we need to and clearly this is a need!

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by Youngfrankenstein View Post

Please know that we are on your side!  I don't know why people are feeling the need to question your every move after all the updates and information you've given.  Throughout this thread many people have tried to help you brainstorm and I hope that's been helpful.  I'm sure it isn't helpful at all to be second guessed for this most recent stuff.  "Just do X or Just do Y" kinds of posts today are really rubbing me the wrong way.

 

Much love!



Yes, yes.  I could hardly stand to read some of the replies.

 

I agree with the advice to maybe find a friend or mother's helper who would be willing to help you prep snacks for her.  If someone else cut up a ton of carrot sticks or fruit or something and brought them over in big gallon sized ziplocks I think that would take a huge burden off of you!

 


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#249 of 343 Old 04-28-2011, 08:06 PM
 
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Anna, I just wanted to throw in my hat with pp who are saying that you are doing the absolute best for your child. I have been critical of you in the past, but it is so clear to me that you are a caring mother who desperately wants her child to live a full life. I think you just have to remember giving your child unlimited access to food is a therapy and  it *will* pay off!

 

And I just wanted to say it is so difficult to have to choose one childs needs over another-- heartbreaking in fact-- but sometimes it just has to be done. Those posters asking  why the entire family can't go gf should remember that there are other children who also have food related needs. It's a lot to expect from small children.


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#250 of 343 Old 04-29-2011, 05:43 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Delicateflower View Post

I used to feel like I was spending all day in the kitchen cutting up food, too. What I learned to do was to prepare stuff in a larger batch, then just scoop it out for the kids snacks. I'd cut up all the strawberries, wash all the grapes and set them on the bench in the colander for grazing, put open packets of cereals on the lowest shelf in the pantry, cut the bunch of bananas into single single bananas so they didn't mangle the whole bunch taking one.

 

We do the Ellyn Satter method with a child with a food allergy and it's easy. You just put the serving dishes on the counter in the kitchen instead of the table, and refill anyone's plate when they ask for it. Your daughter doesn't need to know her pasta is coming from the gluten free bowl.


I feel  like you are being very hard on the OP.  Please stop telling her "its easy".  It's not.  She has stated over and over that she stands there making food all day and the girl just wants more.  She has stated that she feels like her other children are suffering.  She feels down, defeated, and like a bad mom at times.  She is doing the best she can and I think telling her to prepare food is what she's already doing!  I know this is a message board, but I think people need to think before they just give advice that has a "DUH" built into the end of it.

 

I hope I am misreading your intent.

 


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#251 of 343 Old 04-29-2011, 06:30 AM
 
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yeah, i hope you don't stop updating just because people can't read back in the thread to realize that you are trying.

 

the only thing i was wondering about, you mentioned the "obese" factor and 95th % etc etc, now we don't see a normal ped, my dd has never been told where she is on the charts, just that she is an amazing healthy kiddo. i am sure she was that weight as a 2 year old, and she is in the smaller range for height. my point is, she is over the 97th right now for weight not sure about height - my guess would be 50% (just googled the chart) and i am not worried about her being obese. she eats good food, real food. she likes to eat, period. given the chance she will tend to hang out where the food is. i guess i just don't get where all the anxiety is coming... and sorry if i am wrong on that but again i am just sensing that from your post.

 

anyway hang in there hug2.gif


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#252 of 343 Old 04-29-2011, 01:30 PM
 
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I had a foster child like this once. Truly obsessed with food, due to his background. I found he did outgrow it, but only after he was given free rein and control over his access to food. I always had food on the table that he was free to take whenever he wanted. I also always made sure there was a lot of protein there, not just the snacky cereals (though we did have those too). But even though the first few days he pretty much sat at the table all day protecting his stash, he did get better.

I also found that upping the protein content of the snacks helped him feel full and satisfied way more than the carbs.
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#253 of 343 Old 04-29-2011, 01:46 PM
 
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Hang in there - I'm sorry for all the judgment you've received, and even the responses from people saying "x WILL work", when the truth is "x MIGHT work", and you're pretty much run off your feet right now and probably not in a space to be taking risks with treatments that haven't been analyzed by your ped or feeding specialist.

 

You sound run off your feet, and I hope you find a way to get some respite soon. Be gentle with yourself.

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#254 of 343 Old 04-30-2011, 08:09 AM
 
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Anna, you are amazing and an inspiration to me.  I am so sorry that this has been so hard for you, but I read you posts and I see how hard you have worked and how far you have dug down to find an answer to your daughter's problems.  My child has a different set of issues, but reading how hard you have worked encourages me to do the same for my little girl!  You are helping her and you are setting an example for me.   Thank you so much for coming back and updating.  You have been through so much.  I hope and pray that the current path you are taking is the one that will bring you and your family happiness. 

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#255 of 343 Old 04-30-2011, 11:53 AM
 
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Anna, thank you for continuing to come back. As Tjej said, I think there are members who see the thread on new posts and volunteer opinions when they have not started at the beginning of the thread to learn the whole story.

 

To those members, please be kind and gentle and get the whole context before offering opinions that may miss the mark completely.

 


 
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#256 of 343 Old 05-06-2011, 09:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you to all of you who continue to be supportive and truly understand.  This post is for you guys, and hopefully for any future mothers that may be helped by this thread.  

 

I continue to struggle with my daughter's eating problem.  She has become so completely obsessed that there is literally nothing else in her day anymore.  For those of you who say "just leave out a bowl of fruit",  or " let her carry a ziploc of cheerios around with her", you don't understand.  It is now 12:45 and she has eaten for 4 straight hours, and after her bottle and breakfast this morning, she has done nothing but eat.  Every 15 minutes or so, she comes back to me with an empty snack cup and asks for more.  I continue to refill it, and she continues to shovel handfuls into her mouth until the cup is all done.  Nothing else exists for her now.  If she gets distracted by something for a few minutes, it is barely 3 minutes at a time.

 

  I'm not saying it is wrong to do,  because I'm truly hoping that once she learns to trust that she will always be fed that she will stop eating like this, but I'm just saying it is hard.  One of the hardest things I have had to do.  If there was playing in between, and not just frantic shoveling of food, I would feel differently.  But she ONLY eats.  All day.  This is day 7 or so.    I have switched to rice puffs since they are lower in calorie than the Cheerios (gluten free kind).  But she is still bloated and uncomfortable, and has gained a pound already.    But I will keep going and hope that she will eventually learn to trust, and lose her intense interest in food in favor of some playing.   Just having a child who won't play is hard enough.  She just sits there.  It is sad, and it is incredibly depressing.    In between mouthfuls of food, she does nothing.   

 

Several mothers contacted me privately and said that this method worked for them.  And my adoption agency also has dealt with this problem and said that they need to have food available all the time.  However, most kids will be content to eat some extra, and maybe carry some around with them.   I can't believe that she can eat this much and still ask for more.  Every time she comes to me, I just think "I'm not giving her food because her body needs it, I'm giving her food so she can trust me that I WILL give her enough".

  

  But I'm still crying and feeling desperate.   To see such apathy about playing is what I think scares me the most.  It is just SOOOOO abnormal for a child to not be interested in play.  That is what is scaring me.    I have known critically ill children that still wanted to play.       She has become so focused on "FOOD", that the whole rest of the world has ceased to exist for her.     It is not like she is carrying around the snack cup and being active and playing while she has it with her.  It is the only thing that matters to her.    It is not "eating while playing", it is nonstop, relentless, neverending, all-consuming, eating.  ONLY EATING.

 

  It is scary to watch.  I hope I'm not trading one problem for another.  I hope she won't become obese.  I hope she won't end up feeling like if she is NOT eating constantly, that she can't function.  I am so scared.       And alone.

 

   Thank you all again,

 

    Anna

 

      

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#257 of 343 Old 05-06-2011, 11:18 AM
 
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#258 of 343 Old 05-06-2011, 11:37 AM
 
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Honestly, I'd cut out cereal type snack foods and feed her more protein and healthy fats. It's HARD to overeat with those. Anyone could munch on rice puffs all day.. That's like eating air. She needs something healthy  AND FILLING.

 

I found this list for gluten free snacks..

High Protein Snacks
‚ÄĘ Smoothies with protein powder: rice and soy as an
alternative to whey
‚ÄĘ Bean dip with tortilla chips
‚ÄĘ Nuts or trail mix: Sunflower seed, pumpkin seeds
and soy nuts as an alternative to nuts.
‚ÄĘ Hummus with rice crackers or veggies for dipping
‚ÄĘ Hard boiled eggs
‚ÄĘ Cubed lunch meat or meat wrapped in lettuce

High Fiber snacks
‚ÄĘ Popcorn
‚ÄĘ Raisins or other dried fruit
‚ÄĘ Roasted soy nuts or edamame

Sunflower, cashew, macadamia
nut, almond and soy butter
are a few alternative
choices to peanut butter.
Have nut butter with:
‚ÄĘCelery
‚ÄĘApple slices
‚ÄĘ Rice Cakes
‚ÄĘ Gluten-free Breads or rolls

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#259 of 343 Old 05-06-2011, 11:41 AM
 
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I agree with Bebebradford.  Also, carbs are likely to make her gain more weight since you're so concerned about that (I wouldn't be.)  Hard boiled eggs, nuts, nut butters would probably go a long way with her. 

 

Why do you think she's gluten intolerant?  And I've probably missed it, but how big/old is the child?


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#260 of 343 Old 05-06-2011, 12:57 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bebebradford View Post

Honestly, I'd cut out cereal type snack foods and feed her more protein and healthy fats. It's HARD to overeat with those. Anyone could munch on rice puffs all day.. That's like eating air. She needs something healthy  AND FILLING.

 

I think you're missing the point.  As a fat person I can tell you that when your brain wants to eat, you eat!  You eat way beyond what is comfortable.  You could eat ANYTHING and still want to eat more and more.  I truly don't believe this is about what foods the baby is eating. 


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#261 of 343 Old 05-06-2011, 01:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi,

 

  Yeah, I'd love to find something better as a "filler" between meals.  But I give her apples, sunflower seeds, almond slivers, garbanzo beans ( I think they contribute to her bloating/gas problem), etc.   All of the ideas are great, except that a lot of them are not handy to walk around the house eating, or travel in the car with (I won't give her celery sticks, for example, as she puts so much in her mouth at one time that I am afraid she will choke).  She eats rice cakes dipped in hummus, almond butter on everything, hard boiled eggs, etc.   But if I give her egg, for example, she will be done with it in 5 min.  Then she wants another one.  Then another.  If she wants 2 dozen in one day, do I just let her eat 2 dozen eggs?   If she wants an entire pound of sunflower seeds in a day, do I let her have them?  I just wanted something that she could feel like she could control, and eat, and always have with her, and feel like she will never run out.  None of this is about HUNGER.   She isn't hungry after the meals I give her.  She really couldn't be, but she doesn't recognize that.  She needs to learn it, and learn that she can stop when she's full and there will be more food at the next meal/snack time.  

 

I don't know-I could be going about this all wrong.  I'm giving her plentiful meals with all of the foods mentioned, but no matter how much I give her, or what types of food, she still wants to eat and not stop.  

 

I'm going to try to upload a picture of her distended abdomen, which for a long time led me to believe she was hungry, or gluten intolerant, or lactose intolerant, or something else that would make her want to eat like this.  But I wouldn't even know what kind of doctor to try now, because they have all said she doesn't have parasites.  I took her off of gluten and dairy and peanuts in the hopes that it was contributing to the distended abdomen and the hunger.  But it has been almost 2 months, and no change.    I have spent $600 in the past 2 months on supplements (an excellent expensive probiotic, digestive enzymes, homeopathics for parasites, etc., etc.)   And there is no change in her belly, although for a while it seemed like there was.  So obviously the gluten and dairy are not the issue.  

 

Her belly button looks weird because she has an umbilical hernia.  And her stomach is about half this size in the morning, and swells up like this throughout the day.  It is not fat, for the most part.  It is hard, and looks terribly uncomfortable.      How horrible is it that I wished she actually had parasites that would explain the swelling and the hunger.   I still have in the back of my mind that I should take her for further testing for parasites, but I wouldn't know where to go since the doctor at the International Adoption Clinic said her tests were negative.  

 

She is lethargic, apathetic, has a distended abdomen (but not the weight loss associated with parasites), irritable, etc.   I'm at a loss, and I don't know where else to go or what else to try.  I have exhausted all of my ideas, and I'm just trying to ignore the distended abdomen as a symptom and dealing with the hunger.  But when she is also so lethargic, etc., I don't know what to believe.

 

By the way, she is almost 28 months old, and weighs 29 pounds and is 33 inches tall.  No, she is not extremely overweight, but IS chubby.  I have absolutely no problem with her being chubby, but when her extreme hunger is coupled with her other symptoms, I suspected there was something else going on  She has risen from the 10th percentile in weight to the 50th (?) in the past year, while dropping from the 50th percentile in height to the 5th percentile.  None of that seems right.  She is ONLY gaining weight, but not growing.    

 

  There is the story in a nutshell.

 

  Thanks for listening.

 

 

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#262 of 343 Old 05-06-2011, 01:03 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ram3113 View Post

I have switched to rice puffs since they are lower in calorie than the Cheerios (gluten free kind).  But she is still bloated and uncomfortable, and has gained a pound already.


Honestly, I think this is cause and effect. She is eating all the time because the cheerios and rice puffs are not giving her any nutrition. Please switch her snacks to higher protein foods, it really sounds to me, as someone who has btdt, that she is in dire need of protein and filling food. And she will put on weight, I'd be worried if she didn't. She needs to grow. Just give her good food to grow on.
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#263 of 343 Old 05-06-2011, 01:07 PM
 
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I think you're missing the point.  As a fat person I can tell you that when your brain wants to eat, you eat!  You eat way beyond what is comfortable.  You could eat ANYTHING and still want to eat more and more.  I truly don't believe this is about what foods the baby is eating. 


And I truly believe it is partly about what the baby is eating.

I forgot til just now, my parents fostered. They had a little girl who was like this. One memorable day, she ate a whole loaf of bread and butter, 17 or so slices, then went home to my mom. And then ate a full lunch. I don't believe that would be possible with higher nutrition dense food.
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#264 of 343 Old 05-06-2011, 01:18 PM
 
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anna,

i have been following this thread since the beginning, but have yet to post.

you are doing an amazing job!

 

do you have a way to get some time away from your daughter? can she go to daycare/ babysitter/ mother's day out/ respite care ANYTHING to give you some time or space?

she sounds like an incredibly intense child, and it really sounds like you need, and deserve, a break.

 

i have dealt with a child who simply would NOT stop eating. she would never feel full. she needed someone to hold her hand at the dinner table to prevent her from taking other people's food off of their plates. she needed very strict control over her diet, eating habits and accessability to food.

she needed to know that food is ONLY eaten at the diningroom table. NO WHERE else, ever. she learned that food was not an option anywhere else. not in the car, on outings, anything. of course, this did have exceptions, like being gone for a whole day, but the routine was important.

she would still try to get food if it was available, but having food only at the table helped.

but, she was 12, deaf, with brain damage/ autism. very different than your daughter.

 

there are some kids that really can not control their own eating. you don't yet know where your daughter lies on this issue, but if she can't control her own food intake, then you may need to do it for her.

i know you have gotten a lot of food advise, and really tried everything, but i want to tell you one other idea i have.

TINY portions. at each mealtime, give her just a tablespoon of each thing. give her a tiny baby spoon to eat with. refill her plate as many times as she wants, with itty bitty portions, as long as the family is eating.

 

 

but, anna, i just want to reiterate what the pps have said.

 

you are doing the very best you can by your daughter, and you should be incredibly proud of yourself. you are doing everything a mama can, and that is amazing.

 

but please remember, having some time away from your daughter might be what you need to  continue to be a great mom. even sending her to the grandparents, or even a respite home for a weekend might help you out.

 

 

 

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#265 of 343 Old 05-06-2011, 01:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you, Irish Mommy.   I have thought that myself, but I couldn't believe she could still be hungry after some of the meals she eats, so just gave her something so she could at least satisfy the "need to eat something".  But I will try  your idea, as soon as I get a list together of things I can give her.  I know she won't eat a lot protein foods I have tried, unfortunately.  I feel like she needs meat, but she rejects any chicken or turkey, and will only eat meatballs as far as meat goes.  So maybe this weekend I will enlist my other kids to help me make a huge batch of mini meatballs she can pop in her mouth and try that.   

 

  Thank you all so much.  While I don't want people attacking me, I DO want people to give me some different opinion than mine, otherwise how will I find an answer, since I obviously don't have one myself.  

 

  Anna

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I wonder if you could allow her all the food she wants, but make her "work" for it?  I don't want to sound mean here, but the vision I get is one of the gong things that they have for dogs... you know, it's like a rubber toy shaped like a cone and you stick some treat inside and the dog has to lick and bite and burrow his mouth in, in order to get the treat.  It keeps them busy. 

 

I'm not suggesting you give her a dog toy, but some sort of way to keep the food at a "distance", like in a Tupperware-type container with a tricky top on it that she has to "struggle" to get her hand in and out.  Do you get what I'm saying?  My daughter had a special toddler cup with a top on it made out of silicone with slits in it.. each time she put her hand in it to get out the Cheerios or whatever, she'd really have to manoeuver her hand around, grasp the Cheerios and fiddle her hand around to get it out.

 

I'm wondering if you figure out a type of contraption, cup, bowl, box or something that makes getting the food just the tiniest bit tricky so that 1)it takes her *time* to feed herself and 2)might give her the impression that this way of eating might be too much of a hassle and that it might not be so worth it to eat ALL the time.  I'm not sure exactly what type of contraption you could come up with, I'm just throwing out ideas here......

 

Do you think she'd be the type of child who would get just too frustrated?  Or is she the type that could remain fixated/focused/determined enough to spend a half hour figuring out how to get a handful of Cheerios out of a box compared to the 3 minutes it takes her to eat them now?

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Unfortunately, I have controlled her portions for 18 months now.     And that is partly what contributed (I believe) to her having this problem.  She wanted more than I gave her.  Was all this started by something else (adoption trauma, sensory issues, GERD, parasites, H. pylori which she had but was treated for, etc.???), I don't know.  But I DO know that it is now at least partly an emotional thing.  I NEED her to know how to control her intake and regulate HERSELF.  I don't believe it is healthy for me to try to regulate for her.  Like I have said I have tried that.  At first, I gave her too little (not knowing), then I gave her too much (thinking if she got more than she needed she would stop).  Neither method worked, and both methods hurt our relationship and attachment.   

 

I believe wholeheartedly that she can learn self-regulation.   But getting her there is difficult.  I have found a doctor that specializes in Ellyn Satter's feeding methods, and she will counsel me through the therapy.  But it is difficult, expensive, and very time-consuming.  For the sake of my other kids, I need to wait until school is over for the year so I can plan on spending every waking minute in the kitchen for a while.  I am prepared to do that, but I DO need help and counseling in order to figure out the little details, and to emotionally support me.  

 

familyfeedingdynamics.com  is the website of the doctor.  She has excellent success, but I wanted to try this other method (constant food all day long) in the hopes it would accomplish the same thing but  be easier to deal with while I take care of my other 3 kids.  

 

I have NO ONE to help me with my kids.  My mother doesn't want to be bothered, my sister  doesn't want to be bothered, etc.   I have talked with my neighbor about her daughter being a mother's helper a couple of days a week, but again, it is expensive!  And my heart breaks because I don't want to be away from her.  I just want her to be happy and I want her here with me while I make her happy.    I waited a very long time to bring her home to me, and although I recognize every mother's need for a break, I don't want to WANT one so badly.  It makes me very sad.

 

Anna

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#268 of 343 Old 05-06-2011, 01:45 PM
 
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just out of plain curiosity if you did keep giving her the boiled eggs would she stop at 4, 5 or 12? obviously you don't want her to get sick, but even my dd has over done it on cake and sweets at grandmas and that really gave her a learning experience. before, it was like she didn't have a full meter but then after that incident she realized she couldn't eat half a chocolate cake and be okay. sucks she had to learn that way though...

 

i would not worry about the chubby at all either... but the distended abdomen and lethargy/uninterested in play are what would concern me too. im sorry i wish i had more to offer... just keep listening to your intuition and being her advocate. hug.gif


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hug2.gif Oh mama, I wish I could give you a 1000000000 hugs and then send you out to your favorite coffee shop/restuarant with a good book while I watched your kids for a few hours!!!!

 

You're doing amazing.  You are an amazing, amazing mama!!

 

I would go back to the adoption specialist, and ask for more testing, and more help (but thats me, and I've never been in your shoes, so maybe I'm not right) - the not growing taller worries me more than anything.  Is her body not producing growth hormone (again, this could be me not understanding your situation fully, even though I have read the entire thread)?

 

I do hope that you find something to help your beautiful baby girl!!  You're amazing, and SO strong - your little girl is so lucky to have such an amazing mama.

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That is so funny, because I have one of those "contraptions"!!!      It has a lid, and slits in the plastic lid.  She has to dig her hand in there and pull out the puffs.  She pulls out a handful, and another handful goes flying around the room!!!!  I think I have been vacuuming 10 times a day lately to pick them all up.    I make her help me, but then she looks like a dog eating food off of the floor.   But if I didn't give her the thing with the lid, she would spill the whole thing.  

 

No, she would do whatever it took to get to the food.  That is why Irish Mommy might be right and she needs something she isn't getting.   She acts like she is starving.  But you can see clearly in the picture that she isn't starving, even if you discount the distension.   If she didn't have the basketball tummy, I think she would look like the healthiest chubby two year old.  Although most 2 year olds are starting to slim down by now.  But her food obsession also keeps her from moving too much.

 

I have seen glimpses of her true self, when she isn't consumed with her eating problem.  She is beautiful, loving, sweet, loves music, loves to dance (I have seen her start wiggling to music even while crying).   I have glimpses of the joy we could be experiencing right now.     I know it's in there.  

 

We keep music on all day in the hopes that it will make her move and forget about food.  She knows all the words to the songs, and can imitate specific dance steps better than children twice her age.  She is super smart.       I feel bad for her.   And I love her. But there are also times during the day that I'm just tired of dealing with her and want her to go live somewhere else for a while.

 

 

Anna

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