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#31 of 50 Old 10-29-2010, 08:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks so much everyone, for all the love and support!!!

we went to court, and were granted legal guardianship of marvin and rose. we went for their medical exams today for immigration, and everything we need should be ready on monday for us to submit to the embassy for visa applications for the kids. that process can take anywhere from 1-3 weeks, but their cases are pretty cut and dried, so it should be about 2 weeks, most likely.

the kids are both doing amazingly well -- we had a few rough nights with marvin, but he's settling in now. rose LOVES to sleep, so she's easy. she's napping right now, in fact, while marvin plays with buckets and cups in the shower -- he loves water, and we spend a lot of time in the pool, washing hands, and I just thought of the shower as a good option -- no bathtub here, but he will love it when we get home! it's a good diversion from pouring water on the floor.

mark left for home last night -- he missed his flight home on wednesday night, so was here for the court ruling on thursday, which was amazing. we never doubted that we'd be granted custody, but it was still emotional to hear it officially. trying to keep on top of laundry, constant eating, and dishes for all of us (plus all the adoption stuff we have to do) by myself is hard work, and I am happy to go to bed at 7 pm with the kids. I'm a little sad we're not able to really enjoy being here more, but with no money for side trips and SO. MUCH. WORK. TO. DO. there's just not a lot of time for much other than hanging around here, cocooning.

lucy went to the mall for lunch with another adoptive family who is staying in these apartments (they have been amazing to have around, especially when things were hard the first few nights, and we could see their girls (same ages as our two, same orphanage for the older girl, she and marvin were buddies ) and how they had progressed in just a couple of weeks. they have two older girls who are lucy and dexter's ages, and they all get along well. they are also just amazingly helpful to have around, providing us with things like emergency toilet paper, can openers, emergency bananas, DVD's, etc... this place is a little more expensive than we had wanted, but it's been more than worth it to have a whole (small) apartment to ourselves, with a pool and built in friends. we also have a kitchen and a (sort of) automatic washing machine, so we save money on eating out and laundry, I guess... most expensive thing is hiring a driver to go anywhere -- plus we have to buy a big jug of water every week or so, so that requires a car. I'm starting to think I could handle the "bus system" but now that it's just me and 4 kids, I'm not so sure. There is a store/strip mall we often walk to from here, but with 4 kids and no husband it will be a little harder -- the walk is along a really busy road, and people drive CRAZY here. we try to combine our trips to court, the embassy, etc, with market runs. we also have an amazing woman helping us out, and she has brought us a big bag of fruit in the early days, which was great. bananas are the answer to everything, I find. and avocadoes...we had a great time with an avocado today.

I'm probably here about 2 more weeks, and thankful that the official work is nearly over and we can just relax and get to know each other. As of Monday we'll just be waiting around a lot more, which will be nice.

thanks for coming along for the ride! I'll update more as things happen -- I've thought to come to this forum a few times with adoption questions, but now that I have a moment to write, I can't remember what the questions were. I think they may have resolved anyway -- the language barrier is really hard sometimes -- he doesn't seem frustrated at all by it, but he is a little chatterbox, and I really wish I knew what he was saying. especially when it seems really sweet. other times maybe not so much...

We're Tiffani , Mark , Lucy (9/99) , Dexter (8/01) ,and Zachary Marvin (3/07) and Naomi Rose (6/09), home 11/10, by way of Ugandan adoption.

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#32 of 50 Old 10-29-2010, 09:05 AM
 
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Beyond thrilled for you all... and looking forward to seeing those kiddos! (photos? and of course I'm already dreaming of in-person someday since the kids are from the same region.... so many Rwandans went to Uganda....) Anyway, I'm elated for you all and in tears of course thinking of you all together in body finally.

I'm hoping to get to know this journey now in a different way, get to know you thru your post adopt journey rather than all this searching and searching.

So glad you have this great family there for support. What a lifesaver, eh? Oh, I'm crying tears of gratitude for you. Many blessings on your new family.


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#33 of 50 Old 10-29-2010, 12:25 PM
 
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That is all so exciting. I can only imagine how much happiness and exhaustion you are experiencing.

Wife to my DH for 10 wonderful years.joy.gif

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#34 of 50 Old 11-03-2010, 09:20 PM
 
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Congratulations!!!!!!!

Carly, mama to DS C (5th grade), DD Miss M (07/09, fostered 1/10, adopted 08/10), and Little Miss C (11/10, fostered 01/11, adopted 11/12). Foster Son, Mr. A, age 11 placed 10/13.
My angel babies , ~01/08~ (twins), ~09/08~, and ~01/09~.

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#35 of 50 Old 11-04-2010, 01:07 AM
 
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Congratulations. After all you've been through it's so exciting things are almost over.

Created an instant family (7/89 and 5/91) in 1997. Made a baby boy 12/05 adopted a baby girl 8/08. Ask me about tandem adoptive nursing. Now living as gluten, dairy, cane sugar, and tomato free vegetarians. Homeschooling and loving it.

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#36 of 50 Old 11-04-2010, 12:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks everyone!!

we have our visa appointment on monday at 3:30 pm, visas normally take 2 or 3 days to process, so looking for flights home on thursday or friday!


We're Tiffani , Mark , Lucy (9/99) , Dexter (8/01) ,and Zachary Marvin (3/07) and Naomi Rose (6/09), home 11/10, by way of Ugandan adoption.

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#37 of 50 Old 11-04-2010, 12:30 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tiffani View Post
thanks everyone!!

we have our visa appointment on monday at 3:30 pm, visas normally take 2 or 3 days to process, so looking for flights home on thursday or friday!

How wonderful!!! I'm sure you're excited to get settled back into home and to find your new normal.

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SAHM to Evelyn - my crazy little Celiac (4) energy.gif Annabelle (2)  love.gif and Abraham (born 6/20) buddamomimg1.png
adoptionheart-1.gif  Follow our journey  mdcblog5.gif

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#38 of 50 Old 11-04-2010, 04:14 PM
 
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Marvin and Rose. So great to see that in your siggy! Safe travels!

RedOak ~ Momma to DS (8) , DS (4) , DD (3) , & DD 9/10 ~
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#39 of 50 Old 11-05-2010, 02:22 AM
 
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Wow thanks for all the updates. I've been really curious. Congrats and please keep adding updates.
(Your comment about Marvin being a chatterbox was funny. Can anyone translate?)
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#40 of 50 Old 11-12-2010, 07:47 AM
 
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Tiffani, congratulations!    I'm so thrilled for you & your family!!!


-Shannon, momma to H reading.gif 8/03, N heartbeat.gif 9/06, & P homebirth.jpg 8/11, missing S brokenheart.gif born at 11 wks 1/09 

 


 
   

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#41 of 50 Old 11-13-2010, 01:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks everyone!!

 

we have visas in hand, and some space opened up on the sunday night flight, which is awesome because the earliest flight we had found was tuesday night -- we're so excited to go home, waiting those extra days would have been torture!!  should be an interesting flight -- really glad I have my big kids to help out!!

 

everything is going pretty well -- marvin is firmly planted in the testing phase, though most of the time he does really well.  as is true with all kiddos, I find that the more secure I make him feel, the better his behavior is.  at this point I really just can't wait to get home and into our new life!!


We're Tiffani , Mark , Lucy (9/99) , Dexter (8/01) ,and Zachary Marvin (3/07) and Naomi Rose (6/09), home 11/10, by way of Ugandan adoption.

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#42 of 50 Old 11-13-2010, 05:24 AM
 
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Terrific!  I hope you have a smooth trip home and we can "meet" them when you come up for air.

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#43 of 50 Old 11-13-2010, 07:50 AM
 
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How exciting. Hope your trip home is easy.


Created an instant family (7/89 and 5/91) in 1997. Made a baby boy 12/05 adopted a baby girl 8/08. Ask me about tandem adoptive nursing. Now living as gluten, dairy, cane sugar, and tomato free vegetarians. Homeschooling and loving it.

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#44 of 50 Old 11-13-2010, 09:11 AM
 
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joy.gif  Good luck on the flight!


-Shannon, momma to H reading.gif 8/03, N heartbeat.gif 9/06, & P homebirth.jpg 8/11, missing S brokenheart.gif born at 11 wks 1/09 

 


 
   

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#45 of 50 Old 11-30-2010, 04:49 PM
 
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So excited for you!  I assume you're home by now and settling in?  I can't wait to hear how things are going.  :)


Erin caffix.gif , Happy wife of Honey Bearguitar.gif , mom of Curly Miss (11/04), Little Mister (10/06), Princess Abi (3/08), and The Bean (9/09) jumpers.gifadoptionheart-1.gif  <>< oh, and I blog.

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#46 of 50 Old 12-16-2010, 02:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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things are going well! it's hard at times, of course, and we're all adjusting to being in this newly formed family, but the kids show all the signs of developing perfectly healthy attachments. There are some fun orphanage behaviors that we're working through, but nothing serious at all. Trying to figure out how to make more time for big kid stuff, when the two little ones need to be watched and have my attention 24/7 at this point, and they seem to feel that they need to eat anytime we're near the kitchen -- we need to set up a good space for learning that isn't in the kitchen, because nothing but serious eating can happen there! :) and honestly, it's hard to find time to crack open the art materials when I'm keeping the house clean, but if I'm not keeping the house clean, there is nowhere to crack anything open. finding the balance... ;)

 

I am so thankful for everyone who has taken care of these little ones in their lifetimes -- they may hit and spit and bite when they're mad, but they have been loved, and it has made all the difference for them.

 

We did, in the end (after we got to know them) decide to add first names for them. We mostly call Naomi Rose "Rosie" and Zachary Marvin gets it all -- Zachary Marvin, Marvin, Zachary, Zach, Z, buddy, bubs, (even 'Dexter' when my mama reflex jumps to tell him to stop doing something :)) and he always seems to know when we're talking to him. I notice that he still refers to himself as Marvin (or "Maviney", I think because we call Rose "Rosie" he added an "ie" to his name too. :)) when he sees photos of himself or is referring to himself or something that is his... We had gone around and around about changing or adding a name for him, since my uncle is named marvin, and it just isn't a name I would ever name my kid, but we had decided that it was his name, and we weren't going to change it at all. Then I met him, and began using the name all the time, and when I was feeling affectionate, it was fine -- it's beautiful the way Ugandans say it, and I tried to coerce my husband into spelling it Mavin and calling him that, but he wasn't crazy about that idea, and I admit, pronunciation would be a constant issue for people...

 

anyway, this little man was claiming me as his mama in all sorts of physical ways -- hands up my shirt, fingers in my mouth and nose, sleeping directly on top of me all the time, (or alternately screaming at me if I touched him at night. :)), trying to get me to touch tongues with him, and just being super, super affectionate yet testing me like crazy all the time, seeing how he could piss me off. It was during that phase that I struggled with sometimes feeling less than connected with him, and more often wondering what the hell we had gotten ourselves into. calling him a name I just wouldn't name a child and hearing my kids call him that name when we were cranky with him just made me feel less in love with him -- something I've never heard anyone else mention happening, and wasn't expecting. I have heard people say "I just don't like the name, so I'm changing it" and I've always felt that those people should grow up and do what's best for the kid. I wouldn't say I don't like the name Marvin, because I have grown to like it and even love it, but somehow using it when I'm upset with him makes me feel like I'm babysitting someone else's kid. I think I needed to put my stamp on him, as he was (and continues to) put his stamp all over me, all the time. :)

 

I mostly call him Zachary Marvin, unless I'm rushing, then it's Zach, and he responds to everything we have called him, and loves to say "Zachary Marvin" and seems to like the sound of the name, even if he doesn't really inherently think of himself as Zachary. We'll see what he most identifies with once he can speak english a bit more -- at this point he still thinks of himself as Marvin, and that's fine, we'll keep using both names, and my goal is for him to feel equally comfortable with both names so he can choose for himself as he gets older. I'm realizing that lots of people have several names, nicknames, etc, and it's really not such a big deal for kids to answer to more than one thing. I hadn't ever expected to want to change his name simply to speed up the attachment process on my end, but it definitely has that effect to call your child a name you love. And I love both names, when used together especially -- we chose the name Zachary specifically because it goes well with Marvin -- couldn't really think of any other names that we liked that would roll with Marvin well enough to use them together until he decides for himself.  I do tend to pronounce Marvin the way he himself does, even if it does sound like I'm putting on a fake accent. :)

 

I try to use Naomi Rose, and do sometimes (sort of under the same circumstances you might use a child's middle name) but she is just Rosie through and through... we wanted to make it the same for both of them though, and I do love the name Naomi, and it does suit her, but "baby rose" is hard to shake! :)

 

just thought I'd share, since the name change conversation happens so often, and we decided to go that route...

 

thank you to everyone who has followed our journey, it's been long and crazy, but worth every minute!


We're Tiffani , Mark , Lucy (9/99) , Dexter (8/01) ,and Zachary Marvin (3/07) and Naomi Rose (6/09), home 11/10, by way of Ugandan adoption.

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#47 of 50 Old 12-16-2010, 04:42 AM
 
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Thanks for the update.  And are you back in the States?  I must have missed that part.  I'm glad it's going well.  I think of you guys often.

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#48 of 50 Old 12-21-2010, 12:19 PM
 
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Tiffani,

So good to hear how things are going! And about names... I like Marvin (not that my opinion matters) orngbiggrin.gif  and I love how he wanted to be Marvey too! That is too cute! 

Thanks for keeping us updated. 

Hugs

Marci


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Married to my best friend, homeschooling, gardening,

running a camp for at-risk kiddos and walking a narrow path.

 

Mom to an amazingly fun crew of 5!

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#49 of 50 Old 12-21-2010, 01:23 PM
 
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Congratulations on everything!

 

I had to respond to your discussion of the name Marvin...  My father is a Marvin.  Growing up, his family called him Mert and now he goes by Marv, a lot.  I hope something comes your way that feels right and good to all involved!


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#50 of 50 Old 12-21-2010, 01:32 PM
 
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Sorry to crash your thread, but i wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS!  And also suggest that Marvin can be subtly changed to Martin, if you find you're not comfortable with it.  My aunt did this.

 

Congrats!!


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