Right of each country to select the adoptive parents based on their religion... thoughts? Islam and adoption? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 03-25-2011, 01:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am still in the beginning stages of learning things and trying to figure out how I feel about everything. So far I have bumped into two countries (the Philippines and Morocco) that require the adoptive parents to be a particular religion (or, in the the case of the other, to be willing to convert, or at least to be willing to claim one one will convert). What are your thoughts about that?

 

I am trying to figure out how I feel about it all, and who (morally) actually "owns" the child before adoption. It seems on the one hand that the biological parents should have some right to hope for parents who e.g. are Christian or Muslim (or neither). However, the way these countries work, it is the country, not the biological parents, that decides. Tough luck if you are a biological parent who does not see things the way the country does.

 

I would appreciate any thoughts. I am having a hard time with this, especially with the case of Morocco. It seems to me that there are children there, sitting in orphanages, because (I am assuming) there are not enough Muslim parents who want to or are able to adopt.

 

If someone here knows about Islam and the impact of the teaching (guardianship, no adoptions) on Muslim parents adopting, I would be very interested. Is it not seen as a good option, etc.? Are Muslims likely to adopt special needs children. (I understand this may be impossible to answer...)

 

TIA!

 

 


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#2 of 6 Old 03-25-2011, 10:38 AM
 
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My husband and I have spent a lot of time researching adoption - domestic, international and foster-adopt.  

 

Nobody "owns" the child.  

 

Usually when countries set rules about religion it is because they are trying to preserve the culture that that child was born into.  I think that countries have every right to set whatever rules they feel necessary to protect a child coming form that country.  It may mean that there are going to be fewer adoptive parents who are a fit for that program/country, and that you or me or any other person may not be a fit for that program - but it is their right.  Different countries set all sorts of different requirements about all kinds of things - income, weight, # of children already in the home, age of parents, etc - that will exclude families form being potential adoptive parents.  Religion is just one more thing.  I agree that some of the requirements can be frustrating, but it just means you have to look at other options.  

 

 

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#3 of 6 Old 03-25-2011, 01:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, mamadebug! Yes, it is frustrating and yes, I will need to look elsewhere. :)

 

I am just trying to figure out my own thoughts and remember that some people here had a problem with the Christian countries that demanded the adoptive parents be paracticing Christians. (Or am I dreaming I ever read such a discussion....Might not have been in this forum, anyway.)

 

I understand that, legally, every county has the right the make its own rules. I guess it get harder for me (just within my head) when the country making the rules possibly keeping the child from being adopted is a place that is not able to provide proper medical care. I realize there are even countries where the locals feel it is better for the child stay there and die, rather than to leave the culture and have a future with a family elsewhere. For me it gets really tricky when the bio mom's wishes are not taken into consideration, which can happen someone from a minority places a child for adoption in a country that has rules about, e.g. religion.

 

I am just still trying to figure it all out, as much as it can be figured out. I have bumped into lots of lying by adoptive parents, lots of seemingly not so great decisions by the countries of the biological parents, etc. It sure can be quite overwhelming. I was even personally asked to find a person to lie for a particular couple who wanted to adopt from a country that officially would not accept them. :(


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#4 of 6 Old 03-26-2011, 12:16 AM
 
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I don't know of any Christian countries that demand adoptive parents to be practicing Christians.  There are Christian adoption agencies that will only work with Christian adoptive parents.  While I am not a practicing Christian, and I intentionally sought out an agency that had no religious requirement, I believe they also have the right to set whatever requirements they want.  It doesn't mean I agree with them or would want to work with them, but I do believe they have the right to set up whatever kind of organization they want.  

 

My understanding is that in foreign adoptions, biological parents aren't very often involved once their children are in orphanages and ready for adoption.  It isn't like domestic adoption in the US where the biological mom/parents pick the adoptive parents.  So, while that individual biological family may not be of the certain religion required by that country, they typically aren't there to express that.  

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#5 of 6 Old 03-26-2011, 02:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
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The Philippines require the adoptive parents to have a letter stating they have been practicing Christians for 5 years.
 

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Originally Posted by mamadebug View Post

I don't know of any Christian countries that demand adoptive parents to be practicing Christians. 


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#6 of 6 Old 03-26-2011, 10:38 AM
 
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