My heart breaks for you. I just deleted a huge post b/c I thought it might not be taken in the spirit in which it was intended, and I certainly don't want to create more negative feelings about this for you. Let your 5 YO help wherever she can to lighten your load, and let her know what a big help she is. And she may very well NOT find it unfair to her to be the only healthy child in the family. It's hard to know how kids will respond to what we feel are difficult circumstances. Sometimes they are far more resilient and positive than we are. I hope that you can find a clear answer to the baby's needs and hopefully a very quick solution to the issues she's having. And at the very least, a clear answer as to what you should do for your family.
Is there any chance it could be really severe colic? (trying to be hopeful since colic has an end..) Since she is still under 3 months, perhaps? Was she premature? Did your other kids have colic? I know that most people who have colicky babies do begin to think that something terrible must be wrong because they can't believe how much the baby is crying (my first was like this). I copied this little list in case it is helpful, from a google of colic.
Babies with persistent crying or any "red flag" symptoms should be checked by a healthcare professional to rule out illness. The top ten medical problems to consider in irritable babies with "red flag" symptoms are:
- Infections (e.g. ear infection, urine infection, meningitis, appendicitis)
- Intestinal pain (e.g. food allergy, acid reflux, constipation, intestinal blockage)
- Trouble breathing (e.g. from a cold, excessive dust, congenital nasal blockage, oversized tongue)
- Increased brain pressure (e.g., hematoma, hydrocephalus)
- Skin pain (e.g. a loose diaper pin, irritated rash, a hair wrapped around a toe)
- Mouth pain (e.g. yeast infection)
- Kidney pain (e.g. blockage of the urinary system)
- Eye pain (e.g. scratched cornea, glaucoma)
- Overdose (e.g. excessive Vitamin D, excessive sodium)
- Others (e.g. migraine headache, heart failure, hyperthyroidism)
Thank you again everyone for the support.
We had the remaining evals, from both the D/T and O/T. I wasn't really a fan of the O/T but thats a different story. Neither of them were particularly concerned with her development. The D/T did not find her to have a delay at all with the exception of her eye contact and tracking, and the O/T was somewhere in the middle, agreeing she was not developmentally appropriate on her belly (poor neck control, jerky head movements) but was actually beyond age appropriate on her back and with her vocalizations. SO, now I have a really mixed bag to work with.
I think we will go ahead with physical therapy services, which is really no big deal, and just hope for the best. The idea of having her moved really made my husband and I both realise that is not a possibility for us... that pretty much regardless at point she's ours and we need to just hope for the best.
Proud mom of three! Special needs teen princess , 7 year old happy girl , and my flower toddler
I'm glad to hear they weren't concerned! That's usually a good thing....
We adopted DS at 4.5 months. When he came home, we were told he had low muscle tone, limbs that were alternately too rigid or too floppy, and they were concerned about his muscle development. The caseworker who came each month told me I "had to force" him to have tummy time, no matter how unhappy he was with it, b/c he NEEDED it.
Well, he's my first, and I couldn't stomach making such a tiny baby cry when he cried so much already. So I didn't do it, and figured I'd help him catch up later. He ended up crawling and walking at the "normal" times, and now, at 3, no one would ever think he had low muscle tone.
I think hoping for the best is really all you can do. It's so hard to know how they'll turn out, even a year or two from now, when they're so young. Good luck, I'll be thinking of you and hope you'll post lots of updates on how you all are doing!
Did they check her for torticollis? Those sound like some symptoms of torticollis to me. That is easily correctable with chiropractic.
Wife to my DH for 10 wonderful years.
Mom to L (5 yo DD) and J (infant DS)
Chiropractor to many.
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