My foster/adoption journey has ended - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 04-14-2011, 01:45 PM - Thread Starter
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I just wanted to give a short post to let you all know that my foster adoption has sadly ended.  I have posted infrequently, mostly because things have just been tough all around the last year and a half.


Short version:

Sibling group of 5 placed with my exhusband and I September 2009.

Jan 2010 had oldest removed for perpetration

March 2010 Decided to get amicably divorced from my ex.  Decided to keep the placement and continue working towards adoption despite a consistent lack of support from the caseworker

Then through the last fall and winter the children's behavior deteriorated badly.  Previously infrequent rages became more frequent and more intense.  The caseworker refused to even get the kids more intensive therapy or provide any assistance.  I fell into a deep depression and was hospitalized in March 2011.  At that point I made the decision to have the children removed, as the caseworker still made it clear she wasn't in support of the placement (race had always been a big issue, with the kids and caseworker being AA and me white, however illegal that may be). 


I've been healing and come out of the depression mostly now.  I will be moving out of state in the next month or two with my 6yo biological daughter to start a new life and also to get away from the memories.  My partner and I have been together for close to a year now and are going to get a place together along with his 11yo daughter, and I feel like I have a lot of positive things to look forward to in life, as disheartened as I am about fostering currently.  I can't say I won't ever return to it, but probably not for many years. 


Thank you all for your support over the last three and a half years I have been a foster parent. 


Also, I have quite a few books on foster care, adoption, special needs, attachment, and parenting that I am getting rid of and will be selling.  Feel free to PM me (and if this isn't okay please edit and remove this section of the post or I will, but I know how expensive the books can be and they aren't something you can just find thrifting, so I thought I'd help other mamas out if I can). 


Mom to ds 10/12 and dd 2/05 ribbonrainbow.gif

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#2 of 7 Old 04-14-2011, 02:37 PM
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I'm so sorry that the adoption ended up not being what you had hoped it would be. I've thought of you from time to time and am glad that you posted an update. Best wishes with your new life and family.


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#3 of 7 Old 04-14-2011, 07:44 PM
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I'm sorry that the road has been such a difficult one for you - I hope find healing and brighter days ahead.

Michelle, mama to Isabelle (03/04) and Tom (02/07)
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#4 of 7 Old 04-15-2011, 07:28 AM
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I'm sorry things didnt work out, and I hope for a more positive future for you.

Katherine, single homeschooling mom to Boy Genius (17) geek.gif  Thing One (6) and Thing Two (6) fencing.gif and one outgoing Girl (12) bikenew.gif and hoping for more through foster care and adoption homebirth.jpgadoptionheart-1.gif 
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#5 of 7 Old 04-15-2011, 07:39 AM
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So sorry to hear how things turned out mama.  I hope this break is a time of healing for you and a chance to get your new family unit bonded and in order. 

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#6 of 7 Old 06-21-2011, 08:11 PM
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I'm so sorry things didn't work out the way everyone had hoped.  what an incredibly painful and traumatic journey for all of you... glad to hear you are healing, and that your life is moving in a more positive direction.  I have thought of you often since your placement -- I remember you posted once and then went silent, which is never a good sign! ;-)    much love and healing to you and yours...

We're Tiffani , Mark , Lucy (9/99) , Dexter (8/01) ,and Zachary Marvin (3/07) and Naomi Rose (6/09), home 11/10, by way of Ugandan adoption.

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#7 of 7 Old 06-22-2011, 03:27 PM
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I'm sorry that things got so hard for awhile, but it sounds like it's really looking up! You'll be in my thoughts.

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