I have no need to debate this matter with anyone. I have the right to my opinions and emotions, just like everyone else. (It even seems I am not alone.) The OP asked what people think and she is getting different answers. I think this is great, as she is likely to meet people representing all these points of view (and more) in real life. It is not a bad thing to be prepared and to understand where someone else might be coming from.
As to the rule in my country (no domestic adoptions for people who already have children)... There are maybe 10 kids adopted in the whole country within any given year. I like that rule and there are reasons it is in place. Those who already have children (such as myself) can foster or adopt internationally.
Where would I fall as a single mother? I chose to foster and ultimately adopt two of my foster children. But, if I chose to adopt domestically, or internationally from a country that allows it, it's my right. I can't get pregnant since I'm not partnered and I'm perfectly capable of being a mother.
Given that there there are more children of a certain gender available for adopting in certain parts of the world, I see no issue with gender preferences if you are adopting from an area where that gender is less desired. I think it's nice too that a child would know they were that much more wanted based on their gender. This may sound petty but I was "supposed" to be a boy so I grew up in the shadow of knowing that. I would have loved knowing my parents WANTED a girl! I have dealt with my own gender disappointments too, with my own kids, but at this point I'm totally past it. If we were to adopt I wouldn't care about gender but might choose based on which gender was less wanted.
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