foster parenting when your own child is explosive? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 10-05-2011, 05:50 PM - Thread Starter
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I've two children, one of whom is explosive, high needs. He's now 8.5 years old.   Despite the issues that arise within our household. we're interested in foster parenting a young (5 years and under).   I actually did this sort of work before I had children so I'm a bit familiar with the process.    I actually had ruled out ever foster parenting until my older son was grown ... I have felt having a biological child with issues would be a deterrent for any right minded placement worker.


Anyway, I've been revisiting this idea - anyone here who foster parents and had had to deal with behavioural issues from their own biological children?  Does Foster Parenting work when one of your own children has behavioural/mental health issues too?

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#2 of 6 Old 10-05-2011, 06:04 PM
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My work has been peripheral to the foster care system, but I know there are a number of families out there who foster multiple kids with special needs, or who have multiple biological children with special needs, and I can't think of a reason why having a child with behavioral issues would keep you from fostering.  If your ds is violent towards other children, that would be an issue, but if additional children in the family will be physically and emotionally safe, you should be fine.  If you are interested, most states have foster parent training and social workers who can answer questions about that.


In your shoes, I would ask myself - what's the plan for handling multiple explosions at once?  How would you keep yourself calm and both children safe?  


I ask myself the same thing about the best way to handle simultaneous drama from my two children.  I like having planned strategies.

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#3 of 6 Old 10-07-2011, 04:35 PM
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I wouldn't do it if your child is having significantly explosive outbursts with any regularity. I think it could be very scary for a foster child, possibly even triggering, to a child who's experienced trauma.

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#4 of 6 Old 10-07-2011, 10:09 PM
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sorry, typing one-handed... no, i would not.

Mama to a little lady and always praying for more.
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#5 of 6 Old 10-08-2011, 06:20 AM
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I would not. We did it, and it has created a lot problems for a bio kids.

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 Waldorf Mom to 8 blessings ~6 by birth and 2 by fost/adopt~
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#6 of 6 Old 10-16-2011, 09:23 PM
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I think it has its advantages and disadvantages like any kind of situation.  There is no perfect foster family to begin with.  My guess is that you have excellent therapeutic parenting skills based on the experience you have with your child.  That is a plus!  A foster child that sees you in action responding to dysregulation with compassion and sensitivity is going to learn and grow a lot.  That's my two cents anyway.

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