I admire so many of you here..... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 01-12-2012, 09:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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...But I don't think I am where some of you are. I thought for the past couple of years, that adopting while I still had an older child and tween at home was what we wanted to do. But after meeting with a s.w.(very pleasant lady) and getting info. to start those parenting classes.....I don't know that I am ready. I don't think DH is totally on board,but I knew he'd be willing to keep going down this road if I wanted to try (good guy)

   I don't put it off the table forever, but maybe I'm better at focusing on certain tasks at hand,vs. spreading myself too thin,and compromising my family's growth at this point in time.greensad.gif

   I'd love any thoughts any of you might have- I lurk here and read all the time. It kind of feels like giving up on what I thought was dream of mine...or maybe it's just putting it off for another while. 

  Or maybe I should let it rest till our path seems...right to us. Perhaps adopting through the state system isn't ideal for us. in spite of the fact that parenting is awesome,and helping kids grow to their potential is even more awesome...

    Have any of you ever felt this way,and gone ahead with your plans? or not? and what do you think of these thoughts?

   I think the more info. we get on this path thru state agencies, the less sure we feel.

   Is there a 'too late' kind of mentality for these things? I just have learned a few things in my life,and one of them seems to be,if I get this feeling, I should pull back,and watch and see where it takes me...instead of pushing.....

     THANK YOU for any advice or wisdom you may give here.kid.gif

  

 

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#2 of 6 Old 01-12-2012, 05:23 PM
 
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I don't really know what is best for your family, but what I can say is this. Fostering and adopting through foster care are *tough.* In my experience, the kids can be challenging or have challenges, dealing with the system is tedious and frustrating, and dealing with the special issues that come up can be difficult (helping a child understand adoption, giving existing children new siblings they may or may not have trouble accepting, possibly dealing with birthfamilies, etc.). For our family, the pros have outweighed the cons. We have adopted one child through foster care and are about to do it again. But it's not an easy road and if you are already wondering if it is for you, maybe you need more time to think about it.

 

I love the concept that there are seasons in our lives. Sometimes we are in a season where this would work. Sometimes we are not. Maybe another season will be the right time.


Raising and educating free-range kids in our farmhouse at the maple woods. In March, find us in the sugarbush making pure maple syrup.

1 me + 1 hubby + 4 kids + 5 goats + 3 pigs + 3 dozen chickens + 6 ducks = 1 crazy place
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#3 of 6 Old 01-13-2012, 07:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IncompetentHousewife View Post


I love the concept that there are seasons in our lives. Sometimes we are in a season where this would work. Sometimes we are not. Maybe another season will be the right time.


Thank you....I will def. be lurking and reading,and thinking and praying on this too.....

 

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#4 of 6 Old 01-13-2012, 07:19 PM
 
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we have 5 older children. Both Husbang and I are heading towards 50. yes, there are days (like this morning!), where I want my old life, without a bouncy 4 y/o in it.. where I can do as I like, sleep in and eat icecream for breakfast. where my house isn't always awash with the sounds of sesame Street and nemo.

 

I believe anyone who says they haven't, at least once, longed for their non-adoptive life is telling porky pies!

 

I sometimes realise I'll be 60, with a 17 y/o, and wonder what the hell I was thinking when I did this!

 

But this is right. As hard as it is sometimes, it is right. For her, for us, for our other kids.

 

That is one thing I have never questioned, the 'rightness' of what we're doing.

 

If it doesn't resonate 'right' with you, maybe it's NOT the time?

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#5 of 6 Old 01-15-2012, 10:14 AM
 
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My thoughts are: if you have doubts don't do it. It's so hard that any self-doubt will make it ten times worse.

When you decide the time is right, then the time IS right.

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#6 of 6 Old 01-16-2012, 07:36 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hsmamato2 View Post

.   I'd love any thoughts any of you might have- I lurk here and read all the time. It kind of feels like giving up on what I thought was dream of mine...or maybe it's just putting it off for another while. 

  Or maybe I should let it rest till our path seems...right to us

   

I also say wait a bit.  Now might not be the time, but that doesn't mean the right time won't come.  We finally started the licensing process in late 2006 after a few years of lurking on foster parenting boards.  Then, we ended up moving to another state in the middle of the process(job stuff).  I was so upset that we had to wait to get settled and start the process all over again, but it actually worked out for us.  Everything felt so much more right this time, and our kids were a bit older and could handle the huge life change better.  We have now been licensed FP for 18 months.


tea6.gifMommy to reading.gifDD(15), loveeyes.gifDD(13), blahblah.gifDD(9),  bouncy.gifDS(4), jog.gifDS(3), babyf.gifDD(1), and foster mommy to baby.gif DD  homeschool.gif

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