How long did you wait before getting the first call? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 16 Old 01-20-2012, 08:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We just completed our homestudy after a very long and drawn out year of getting licensed to be foster parents.  So, I'm anxious, excited and nervous about the next chapter.  I believe our licensing was finalized at the beginning of last week.  I'm not being impatient, but this is where no one can really tell us what to expect.  Friends of ours who were licensed a year ago got a call the day after they were licensed, got a placement and are now adopting their daughter.  So I know it can happen fast, but I assume it can also take a long time.  I'd just like to hear from other foster parents who've done this before.  How long did you wait before getting a call? 


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#2 of 16 Old 01-20-2012, 08:43 PM
 
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Im not a foster parent but i do have some experience in the area. Are you fostering to adopt? What ages, ethnicities, sex, and how many did you choose? If you answer those questions i will at least throw out a opinion of how long it should take. Those questions make the answer differ a lot though so cant answer without them.


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#3 of 16 Old 01-20-2012, 08:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Good questions!  We specified under age 5 and up to two children (at least one being a girl) and we excluded severe behavior and health problems.  And we are fostering to adopt....though not specifically fostering only adoptable children...does that make sense?  We are fostering and someday hope to adopt if the situation arises!


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#4 of 16 Old 01-20-2012, 09:02 PM
 
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So im assuming you allowed sibling groups? I would assume that it will happen very fast depending on what your case workers and stuff consider severe behavior. Almost all of them are difficult so depending on their definition of severe perhaps a little while. Id honestly think within just a couple few days your age range is reasonable and you arent blocking different ethnicities and you are open to fostering so you arent blocking kids who havent had their parental rights perm revoked... Yah my guess just a few days. Could even happen in the middle of the night you never know.

Id guess two weeks at the very longest i couldnt possibly imagine it being longer than that.

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#5 of 16 Old 01-20-2012, 09:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, Love.  As far as "severe behaviors" we did mark up a checklist of specific behaviors.  I know they all have their troubles...without listing them all, we eliminated things like "sets fires," etc.  We're ready for the more average behavioral situations. :)


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#6 of 16 Old 01-20-2012, 10:54 PM
 
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Yeah that is reasonable there should be plenty of kids that fit those qualities far too many sadly.


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#7 of 16 Old 01-21-2012, 12:02 PM
 
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I asked for ages 0-4 any race. I waited about a month. Actually  i called THEM just to "check in" and they said they  had a baby for me, a newborn three weeks old. AA, healthy.  I adopted him later that year. A lot just depends on luck and what kids happened to be coming into the system at any given time. Of the four kids i've had placed in my home (one went to relatives, i've adopted the other three) three came from another foster home within the agency.


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#8 of 16 Old 01-21-2012, 05:53 PM
 
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I think it's difficult to predict. There isn't a formula that you can plug these things into. I got my first call before I was licensed. But, I know people who've waited months.

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#9 of 16 Old 01-22-2012, 12:08 PM
 
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We didn't really wait either.  Eighteen months ago we were told we were licensed one day, the next day our two boys were in our house.  We have their baby sis who was born into care and might adopt them all this year.(Baby sis #2 is due to arrive in April.)


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#10 of 16 Old 01-22-2012, 02:39 PM
 
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My husband and I just got our lisence also! As of January, friday the 13th we are lisenced foster parents and totally excited. I really hope the whole friday the 13th thing doesnt come back to bit us in our behinds but ya know! We also were wondering what the wait time would be! after reading several other blogs and posts I think I have kind of got an idea however it still leaves me on edge, and worried about the unknown, although I have always been the type of person to fly by the seat of my pants and just wing it!  Just to know that any time I could be called and our lives would change that fast without being able to plan at least alittle kind of scares me. I guess though we have kind of been preparing through out this whole process! Its just a weird thought to me that our little family of 2 and 3 dogs could be changed into a household and family of 5 or less. I do have a few questions though for any other experienced foster parents! When these children are placed whats it like, how do they act right away? Distant, do they talk much( if they are of that age), they prefer to be left alone or do they need or want effection? our criteria is 6 and under and we would love a sibling group, and race and any sex. We have never had kids before and its just so hard to know how are they going to react to us and how we are going to react to them. I have been told about the honeymoon period after they are placed and how long we can expect that last but I just wondering about the first time these children are placed in our home.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!  energy.gif

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#11 of 16 Old 01-23-2012, 10:48 AM
 
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We were license in October 2009 and got our first placement call in January 2010. We were 0-5 any race, any gender, up to two kids. I called my worker usually every other week asking for an update though. Can we say stalker? Ha.

We were on hold during our placement until her adoption and then stayed on hold for an additional 5 months and then went active again. We got a call 6 days after going active and picked up DD2 that day.

I have friends that have been active for almost two years with stricter criteria and they have had zero placements. There is no rhyme or reason I think. I think it depends on where you live, too. What time of year, your family dynamics, your social circle and what the SW's think you'd really be open to and if your SW likes your family. With each placement, the child's worker called my worker first.

In reading blogs and seeing how foster care works in other regions I have really developed a greater appreciation for the workers in my area. Every one that I have dealt with has been extremely responsive and professional. They seem to really care about the kids and all have followed up as required. My workers see my DD every month like they are supposed to even though we have started adoption and her GAL sees her every month, too. My worker comes quarterly as she is supposed to etc.


Carly, mama to DS C (5th grade), DD Miss M (07/09, fostered 1/10, adopted 08/10), and Little Miss C (11/10, fostered 01/11, adopted 11/12). Foster Son, Mr. A, age 11 placed 10/13.
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#12 of 16 Old 01-23-2012, 12:33 PM
 
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It really really depends on the area you live in. We started getting calls a few days after the license lady came by (we didn't even know we were licensed yet!) It was Christmas time and we were out of town. We took the first placement upon our return which was about 2 weeks after the woman came by to license us (a 12 month old girl and a 3 year old boy). They havent left yet! And although we say no, we still get calls begging for placement fairly often. Our area needs good families that bad.

 

Then I know people elsewhere who wait a year and never get a call.

 

A lot has to do with your worker too. Keep in touch with them!! 


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#13 of 16 Old 01-23-2012, 08:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone for your replies!  ElsieKorson--It's nice to know someone else is right there with me :)  I also wonder how life is going to change in an instant.  It's exciting and scary, isn't it?

 

A little piece of the puzzle was added today when our licensing worker called and said that she needed one more signature before the homestudy was actually complete.  We thought we were done two weeks ago, which is why I was getting curious, but come to find out we were missing a signature and didn't know it! 


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#14 of 16 Old 01-28-2012, 11:27 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grace and Granola View Post

 

A little piece of the puzzle was added today when our licensing worker called and said that she needed one more signature before the homestudy was actually complete.  We thought we were done two weeks ago, which is why I was getting curious, but come to find out we were missing a signature and didn't know it! 

 

This pretty much summarized our licensing! 

 

The SW doing the licensing always seemed to forget 'just one more thing.'  She was VERY nice, and now that we are licensed, I get e-mails all the time going out to all parents about this or that service, or need, or whatever, so clearly she had a lot on her plate besides our license.  Now I am regularly e-mailing her to push along the respite license for my mom and MIL...

 

When we were in to sign the last papers, she mentioned a sibling group they had been trying to place for 2 weeks.  Two weeks later, their SW called us and they moved in.  They left early January,  and it looks like we may be getting a set of twin 8 mo. olds next week (pending the decision of the grandmother they are with now). 

 

We also are licensed for 2 kids under 5, but we further limited it to prefer under 3 (we'll go older as our son gets older), but can flex (the older sibling was 5 in the last pair).  We are in a rural area, so the age limits we have I think effect the wait time we had, but I know that if we lived 30 miles up the highway in the populated county we would probably have been called almost as soon as we were available.

 

Even though waiting makes me ansy, I am glad that both calls have been for siblings, since it is hard for SWs to find two open placements at once in the same house due to the lack of homes.

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#15 of 16 Old 01-28-2012, 01:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jes h View Post

 

This pretty much summarized our licensing! 

 

The SW doing the licensing always seemed to forget 'just one more thing.'  She was VERY nice, and now that we are licensed, I get e-mails all the time going out to all parents about this or that service, or need, or whatever, so clearly she had a lot on her plate besides our license.  Now I am regularly e-mailing her to push along the respite license for my mom and MIL...

 

When we were in to sign the last papers, she mentioned a sibling group they had been trying to place for 2 weeks.  Two weeks later, their SW called us and they moved in.  They left early January,  and it looks like we may be getting a set of twin 8 mo. olds next week (pending the decision of the grandmother they are with now). 

 

We also are licensed for 2 kids under 5, but we further limited it to prefer under 3 (we'll go older as our son gets older), but can flex (the older sibling was 5 in the last pair).  We are in a rural area, so the age limits we have I think effect the wait time we had, but I know that if we lived 30 miles up the highway in the populated county we would probably have been called almost as soon as we were available.

 

Even though waiting makes me ansy, I am glad that both calls have been for siblings, since it is hard for SWs to find two open placements at once in the same house due to the lack of homes.




Thanks, Jes.  We were in a similar boat with our licensing.  Our SW was new to the homestudy process.  She is usually out in the field with the kids, but something caused a need for two field workers to complete a couple of homestudies and we happened to be one of those families.  There were many missteps along the way...it has taken a LONG time to get the license, but I know that any day now could be "the day," and it will all have been worth it.  I love hearing stories of other people's journeys...makes me wonder what is in store for us!


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#16 of 16 Old 01-29-2012, 06:31 PM
 
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Grace and Granola- Yeah it is very exciting! However I still not sure about how fast were going to get a placement. I emailed my caseworker the other day and i said, not to jump the gun or anything but how long is it going to be before we get a placement? She said well i have shared your eagerness with the placement case worker and they are on the look out for you, but i have no idea how long it will be, a year or months or weeks. I dont understand why she seemed to be so rushed to get us through the process and for what, to sit and wait i guess!! I however have started looking into a different avenues for our family for adoption and foster care, i have connected with a welfare system case worker. I have learned so much from her, there are actually children that in foster case that are ready to be adopted and there is a website with their names and faces. I am still working with her to find out more information about this "new avenue" for foster care and option to adopt. I do remember a few years ago there was a actor on TV actually on the Today Show who adopted her daughter through the welfare system. She said that there are so many children that "fall through the cracks" of the system that go un-adopted because their lost in the welfare system. It'll be interesting what may or may not happen because of this but she seems very eager to help. >Keeping my Fingers crossed<

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