GLBT Foster Care Adoption - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 08-03-2012, 12:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi everyone,

My partner and I have made the decision to try and adopt from foster care next year. We are still trying to have one of our own, but we also want to adopt and the former may not happen. We're looking at adopting from foster care because the kids really need homes and we don't really have the financial resources to adopt overseas or do an infant adoption.

 

Our concerns are thus:

1.) We are a lesbian couple living in Alabama. This is obviously not the ideal situation. I know that only one of us can adopt and we're fine with that, but we are worried about being able to adopt at all.

 

2.) As stated previously, we are not wealthy and we know that money is a big factor in these decisions.

 

Does anyone have any advice or recommendations? I would really appreciate any input. I would especially like to hear from any other gay men or lesbians who went through the process in the South and managed to succeed.

 

Thanks!


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#2 of 5 Old 08-03-2012, 06:59 PM
 
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Welcome smile.gif

 

It is kind of a mantra here to say that every state is different.  I would guess that you would be at the mercy of local social workers.  Here (in MA) they are very glbt friendly. 

 

Money is not an issue in foster care adoptions.  If you can afford to raise a child, you can afford to adopt.

 

My biggest bit of advice to you is to decide, with your partner, what you can say yes to as a placement.  Adoption only, mostl likely adoption, special needs, etc.

 

The good news is that you have found a great community here!  There is also a great facebook group called progressive foster parents that may be helpful.

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#3 of 5 Old 08-04-2012, 06:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks! I'm glad there's a board here for this.

 

We've been told that money is an issue in our local area and that couples with more money are more likely to be approved. We've also been told that even if we are approved (which may not be likely, depending on the social worker) we may never be matched with a child(ren) that fits our profile and may have to adopt from out of state. I don't know how much of that is true, and I'm afraid to call children's services to ask. We may have a friend do so for us near the end of the year.


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#4 of 5 Old 08-04-2012, 12:09 PM
 
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Every state runs informational meetins for foster parents.  I would just attend one.  Then you can ask questions, but be sort of "off record."

 

Have you seen this resource:

 

http://www.therainbowbabies.com/LGBTAdoption.html

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#5 of 5 Old 08-05-2012, 03:09 AM
 
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In regards to being accepted by case workers and thus being viewed as a true viable adoptive placement I suggest:

- minimizing any other parts of your life that are not mainstream/conventional
- try to constantly present yourselves as happy and friendly
- prepare yourself for responding to really offensive and/or ignorant questions and comments

Good luck!
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