Foster Adopt, Down Syndrome, and other special needs question - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 09-16-2012, 10:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We have a bio son with Down Syndrome, and we desire to adopt another child with Down Syndrome (or deaf, blind, or orthopedic challenges).  Very specific, I know, but it is what we feel led to do and would fit well with things we already deal with.  Are we kidding ourselves to think a foster-adopt situation is going to yield any of these needs in a younger child?  I remember being told once that there are waiting lists to adopt children with Down Syndrome.  Is that really the case?  We would be firm on not accepting children older than our youngest (who is currently 2).  Private adoption (and international) is probably too expensive for us.  Anyway, just wondering.  We are preparing for adoption in, we hope, the next couple years.


Kim. My heart is full! Wife to Ray, Mama to 3 boys!  "Big C", our boy with designer genes, "Little C", and "Baby M" 11/2010.
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#2 of 11 Old 09-17-2012, 06:19 AM
 
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I have heard the same as well.  My husband and I feel led to adopt a baby with down syndrome.  We are waiting until next yr or the year after. I figure if we feel led to do this, it will happen.  You can raise money for international adoption if you wanted.  We can't travel with all of our children and we won't leave them for weeks at a time.  I will be watching this thread to see the responses.  

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#3 of 11 Old 09-17-2012, 09:06 AM
 
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This is only anecdotal, but there were two babies with Downs in my daughter's foster home.  I don't know about the wait to adopt them, but I know the foster mom was waiting for the legal issues to be cleared up so that the babies would be free for adoption.

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#4 of 11 Old 09-17-2012, 12:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by homeschoolingmama View Post

I have heard the same as well.  My husband and I feel led to adopt a baby with down syndrome.  We are waiting until next yr or the year after. I figure if we feel led to do this, it will happen.  You can raise money for international adoption if you wanted.  We can't travel with all of our children and we won't leave them for weeks at a time.  I will be watching this thread to see the responses.  


I think fund raising for intert'l adoption might be feasible, but we are like you... I wouldn't want to leave my children, young as they are, and with DS1's special needs... for all of us to travel, plus another adult to help us... we'd have to raise like $60k!  lol.gif  Not going to happen.  But then, I second what you said... if we fell led, somehow it will happen...  Ah well.

 

pumpkingirl... that is interesting to know.  Sounds like the possibility is there at least. 


Kim. My heart is full! Wife to Ray, Mama to 3 boys!  "Big C", our boy with designer genes, "Little C", and "Baby M" 11/2010.
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#5 of 11 Old 09-17-2012, 02:53 PM
 
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Adoptive families contact the National Down Syndrome Adoption Network when they have a strong desire to adopt a child with Down syndrome. Many of these families have experienced living with and loving a child or an adult with Down syndrome. They may themselves be birth parents or adoptive parents of a child with Down syndrome, they may have worked professionally with a client or student with Down syndrome, or they may have spent time with an individual with Down syndrome in their church or community. Adoptive families are located all across the United States and Canada. They all must be approved for adoption by a licensed agency in their state of residence.

To contact Robin please call: 513-213-9615 or email her at [email protected].

http://dsagc.com/programs_adoption.asp

 

Download the NDSAN Booklet (PDF)

 

Download the National Down Syndrome Adoption Network Fact Sheet (PDF)

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#6 of 11 Old 09-18-2012, 10:40 PM
 
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Adopting any child under age 2 from foster care presents many challenges. I don't want to dissuade you from trying but you may have many "false starts". Just be clear and firm with every case worker and eventually you'll find a good match.
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#7 of 11 Old 09-19-2012, 11:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by marsupial-mom View Post

Adopting any child under age 2 from foster care presents many challenges. I don't want to dissuade you from trying but you may have many "false starts". Just be clear and firm with every case worker and eventually you'll find a good match.


It is good advice.  We have quite a few friends who have foster-adopted, but they were not so specific as we are hoping/needing to be with regard to our special circumstances... In watching their families I have to come consider "foster-adoption" as it's own special need in a way... there is so much involved, appointments with birth-parents, the not-knowing what the future is, not knowing how emotional hurt is going to factor in with each child and what healing will involve...  In truth, I don't know given the special circumstances we already have if we can accomodate a foster adoption, but it is certainly on our "look-into seriously" list when if comes to adding to our family, especially as it is the most financially feasible.  Thank you for the insight--very important information to put on our list of considerations.


Kim. My heart is full! Wife to Ray, Mama to 3 boys!  "Big C", our boy with designer genes, "Little C", and "Baby M" 11/2010.
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#8 of 11 Old 09-19-2012, 12:03 PM
 
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It might be worth looking into Spence Chapin (based in NY), an adoption agency that also does domestic/private/healthy newborn and international adoption but they have a special program called ASAP for special needs infants, seems many of these babies have things like severe drug/alcohol/mental illness risks but they may get babies with other medical needs as well. They can keep your homestudy on file i think and call you if they get an appropriate match. They also charge on a sliding scale, extremely reasonable fees based on your income.

 

CHASK is also a matching type service that seeks to place babies with special needs in homes. You could contact them and see how they work.

 

Also, Adopt America Network is a group that helps match parents with children in state care. However sometimes they get calls from lawyers or private agencies needing help placing a special needs infant. Once i got a call because they needed a MI family for a newborn born with heart defects and alcohol exposure. Wasnt the right fit for us (mostly because the fees were going to be $5K and i couldnt afford that, plus wasnt really looking for such severe medical issues) but i also have a friend who was called by them about a newborn with DS. So it DOES happen, its just a matter of luck i guess.

 

I'll try to think of more options for you.


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#9 of 11 Old 09-19-2012, 12:07 PM
 
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http://www.chask.org/index.htm

 

http://www.spence-chapin.org/adoption-programs/b1f_special_needs.php
 

http://adoptamericanetwork.org/


Katherine, single homeschooling mom to Boy Genius (17) geek.gif  Thing One (6) and Thing Two (6) fencing.gif and one outgoing Girl (12) bikenew.gif and hoping for more through foster care and adoption homebirth.jpgadoptionheart-1.gif 
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#10 of 11 Old 09-19-2012, 12:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I really appreciate the info... thanks!
 


Kim. My heart is full! Wife to Ray, Mama to 3 boys!  "Big C", our boy with designer genes, "Little C", and "Baby M" 11/2010.
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#11 of 11 Old 09-22-2012, 09:14 AM
 
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Reece's Rainbow could help you out internationally.  http://reecesrainbow.org/   They'll lead you to the agency you would need, and the community is really good about fundraising. 


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