Finally going to be parents! but question... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 09-20-2012, 06:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello all! I haven't been on this forum in almost four years, after we had a miscarriage. We never ended up getting pregnant after that, so we started the adoption process early this year. We just found out a few days ago that we're matched with a birthmom due in February and we're ecstatic and terrified!

 

Here's my question. Did any of you do a fundraiser for your adoption? Our costs are going to be $30,000+, and we've already paid about half that up front. There is absolutely no question that we will attempt fundraising. But I'm trying to decide how to go about it. Neither my hubby or I like the idea of asking for money, but we realize we have many friends and family who will be excited for us and more than willing to help out. It's very humbling!

 

I'd love to hear your fundraising stories!

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#2 of 10 Old 09-20-2012, 06:21 AM
 
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If you are uncomfortable outright fundraising, maybe you could sell a product? Like bracelets or Tshirts or something? Most people are happy donating $5-$10 for a bracelet and those add up :)


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#3 of 10 Old 09-20-2012, 08:18 AM
 
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My favorite fundraiser we did was a garage sale.  We asked people if they had anything they wanted to clean out of their houses and donate to us.  We had a huge turnout of stuff and people were more than happy to give it to us rather than Goodwill.  Then at the garage sale, many people paid above and beyond what they needed to as a way to support us if they wanted to. 
 


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#4 of 10 Old 09-21-2012, 05:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the replies, ladies. :) Definitely thinking of selling something, esp since we're getting into the holiday season and I know a lot of people would feel better about it if they actually received something for donating.
 

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#5 of 10 Old 09-21-2012, 10:06 AM
 
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Bake sale, via church, or other community group.


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#6 of 10 Old 09-22-2012, 07:42 AM
 
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I have a lot of friends on Facebook right now that are adopting.  Auctions seem to be doing really, really well.  I have one friend who was making Montessori/Waldorf-y toys and selling them.  She's fully funded now, and is helping some other families she knows get funded.  They all adopt internationally, and $30K is a pretty standard goal for them, so it is possible.  Oh, and I don't know how well it is going to do, but I'm a Reece's Rainbow Christmas Warrior, and I just opened an online coffee storefront for my Angel.  The coffee is organic and free-trade, too.  https://justlovecoffee.com/
 


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#7 of 10 Old 09-23-2012, 06:07 AM
 
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One thing I have to say about asking for help (financial or otherwise), is that then friends become invested in the adoption.  You are matched with a birthmom, but nothing is final.  I feel like a jerk even bringing this up, but it is a reality.  If the birthmom changes her mind about placing her child, there is a chance your friends share your disappointment and not be as suppportive.  I saw this happen recently to the friend of a friend.

 

After what I saw in this situation, I would feel much more comfortable using a loan to finance and then fundraising to pay off the loan.  Harder for non adoptive parents to get their brain around, but less potential for an emotional disaster...

 

Now that I have been a big downer, I wish you all of the luck in the world. 

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#8 of 10 Old 09-24-2012, 09:45 AM
 
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We didn't do a fundraiser and wouldn't feel comfortable doing one. But I think it's perfectly acceptable. I've seen people sell Tshirts or simply solicit money online with a fundraising webpage.

 

Another option is to do a fundraiser for something else you plan to pay for yourselves and then just rearrange your budget. For example, do a fundraiser for your future child's college fund rather than for the adoption costs.

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#9 of 10 Old 09-25-2012, 11:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pumpkingirl71 View Post

One thing I have to say about asking for help (financial or otherwise), is that then friends become invested in the adoption.  You are matched with a birthmom, but nothing is final.  I feel like a jerk even bringing this up, but it is a reality.  If the birthmom changes her mind about placing her child, there is a chance your friends share your disappointment and not be as suppportive.  I saw this happen recently to the friend of a friend.

 

After what I saw in this situation, I would feel much more comfortable using a loan to finance and then fundraising to pay off the loan.  Harder for non adoptive parents to get their brain around, but less potential for an emotional disaster...

 

Now that I have been a big downer, I wish you all of the luck in the world. 

 

That IS pretty harsh, but I've had the same thought. I would feel pretty stupid, although the good news is that ALL of that fundraising money would go toward our next match. Think that would make it less of a disappointment?

Plus we aren't getting a loan. Our credit card is very low interest, so we just put the whole thing on there.

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#10 of 10 Old 09-27-2012, 03:25 PM
 
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I think that the disappointment of your friends would be greatly alleviated if they knew that their money had not vanished into the ether, but was being put towards your next match. 

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